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Are you dominant or submissive

To some dominant men all women are submissive and if they claim otherwise, they haven't been put in their place yet.

The rise of the cyberdom poser/abuser is one of the worst effects of the internet.
 
lovecraft68 said:
The easy test is asking who's in charge, the dom or the sub, when the answer is Dom, stay clear
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Yeah, kind of…. That “in charge” phrase can be a little tricky. If a submissive has given over certain decisions, certain controls, then the Dom is “in charge” within the context of their dynamic and limits. Another important factor is in addition to any control the Dom has been given, there comes great responsibility. In fake Doms, they see themselves as users and consumers, rather than responsible for the care and feeding of their subs.

For me, the test is time. Inexperienced Doms demand immediate submission without establishing limits and without communicating responsibilities. Failure to take these steps inevitably leads to an abrupt end to the dynamic at best, and at worst someone being either emotionally or physically hurt. Trust is key to a successful dynamic and trust is almost impossible to build without accurate communication of expectations and limits.
 
IARainman said:
Yeah, kind of…. That “in charge” phrase can be a little tricky. If a submissive has given over certain decisions, certain controls, then the Dom is “in charge” within the context of their dynamic and limits. Another important factor is in addition to any control the Dom has been given, there comes great responsibility. In fake Doms, they see themselves as users and consumers, rather than responsible for the care and feeding of their subs.

For me, the test is time. Inexperienced Doms demand immediate submission without establishing limits and without communicating responsibilities. Failure to take these steps inevitably leads to an abrupt end to the dynamic at best, and at worst someone being either emotionally or physically hurt. Trust is key to a successful dynamic and trust is almost impossible to build without accurate communication of expectations and limits.
Click to expand...
I agree, its tricky for those in the know, but when asking the cyber poser it's enough to glean their intentions.
 
IARainman said:
For me, the test is time. Inexperienced Doms demand immediate submission without establishing limits and without communicating responsibilities. Failure to take these steps inevitably leads to an abrupt end to the dynamic at best, and at worst someone being either emotionally or physically hurt. Trust is key to a successful dynamic and trust is almost impossible to build without accurate communication of expectations and limits.
Click to expand...
I wouldn't even start anything with a Dom that doesn't initially want to discuss limits, expectations and needs.

And on the opposite side - when we were in the initial stages with my current Dom and the love of my life, he double-checked a couple of my limits to see if he understood then correctly. (Turned out his interpretation had been more strict than my meaning.) It was very reassuring.
 
I think Dom and Sub as titles are too black and white. I'm assertive in the bedroom and outside of it but I wouldn't label myself as Dom, I'm certainly not submissive. In the bedroom I'll use whatever is to hand to pleasure my partner be that restraints or words.
 
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