Jealously and complicated relationships

[SuccubusScribe]

Hello all. Its been a long time since ive been online here. I need help and advise and perhaps a good spanking**lol.

First, I need to admit that im married. Its less than satisfactory and I only stay for the sake of my kids. If it weren't for my kids, id have left a long time ago.My story begins with the fact that up untill a few months ago, I hadn't had any pleasure with a man for 5 years. My spouse has mounted me, yes, a hand full of times per year and their is no pleasure, no kissing, no foreplay, no toys, no nothing. When he want it, he takes it, and I just close my eyes for a min and poof he is done...

So, that being said, I decided that I needed my needs met and I needed to have an affair. I found a Dom at work, by chance, and we began having an affair. It was glorious. I was soo happy for the first time in a long time and my Dom knew just what I needed and how I needed it...Then, out of nowhere, a few weeks ago, I showed up at his house for a session and their in his closet was another womans panties and toiletries. I was filled with bitter jealousy. (Now, I must say that ive had good and bad experiences with polyamourus relationships and infact one of my best relationships was being owned by a husband and wife couple.)

Anyway, ever since that day ive been heartbroken. I Never saw the girl and had no idea what was going on. Apparently, sometime after the affair started, my Dom got a girlfriend and now she is living with him :-(*My Dom doesn't seem to understand what my deal is because his girlfriend does not mind him continuing his affair with me, and is also open to having a 3way with me, if I want to...

So far, I have refused to even meet her. I'm mad and hurt and filled with insecurity and im jealous as hell! I know I have no right to be so jealous when im married and all, but still... I had no warning, no chance to think or talk about the possibility...**sigh* I don't want to loose my Dom and go back to living a half life, a life without pleasure...

Im afraid that my insecurities and my jealousy is going to ruin this chance I have. He has already given me a stern warning that my behavior is unattractive and out of control and that it will not be tolerated... :*(How do I let it go? How can I stay? I Dont know what he expects of me and he does not want to talk about it with me at all anymore. I dont know how I am to both be well in my mind and heart and please my Dom? I feel soo lost...

 

[southerncharm77]

Hello all. Its been a long time since ive been online here. I need help and advise and perhaps a good spanking**lol.

First, I need to admit that im married. Its less than satisfactory and I only stay for the sake of my kids. If it weren't for my kids, id have left a long time ago.My story begins with the fact that up untill a few months ago, I hadn't had any pleasure with a man for 5 years. My spouse has mounted me, yes, a hand full of times per year and their is no pleasure, no kissing, no foreplay, no toys, no nothing. When he want it, he takes it, and I just close my eyes for a min and poof he is done...

So, that being said, I decided that I needed my needs met and I needed to have an affair. I found a Dom at work, by chance, and we began having an affair. It was glorious. I was soo happy for the first time in a long time and my Dom knew just what I needed and how I needed it...Then, out of nowhere, a few weeks ago, I showed up at his house for a session and their in his closet was another womans panties and toiletries. I was filled with bitter jealousy. (Now, I must say that ive had good and bad experiences with polyamourus relationships and infact one of my best relationships was being owned by a husband and wife couple.)

Anyway, ever since that day ive been heartbroken. I Never saw the girl and had no idea what was going on. Apparently, sometime after the affair started, my Dom got a girlfriend and now she is living with him :-(*My Dom doesn't seem to understand what my deal is because his girlfriend does not mind him continuing his affair with me, and is also open to having a 3way with me, if I want to...

So far, I have refused to even meet her. I'm mad and hurt and filled with insecurity and im jealous as hell! I know I have no right to be so jealous when im married and all, but still... I had no warning, no chance to think or talk about the possibility...**sigh* I don't want to loose my Dom and go back to living a half life, a life without pleasure...

Im afraid that my insecurities and my jealousy is going to ruin this chance I have. He has already given me a stern warning that my behavior is unattractive and out of control and that it will not be tolerated... :*(How do I let it go? How can I stay? I Dont know what he expects of me and he does not want to talk about it with me at all anymore. I dont know how I am to both be well in my mind and heart and please my Dom? I feel soo lost...

I understand what you are going through with the passionless marriage. You have to follow your heart. You know what you need to do. You just have to admit it and do it.

 

[RawHumor]

He dropped the ball BIG time by letting you find out the way you did. That being said, if you hadn't agreed to any sort of exclusivity, he may have not realized that you felt the way you do until you showed the behavior that he described as ugly.

Could you possibly be a 3rd with them? If you're that happy with him and he's got a girl, I would think that that would be better than losing him completely (and giving up your submission outlet in the process).

Saying all that, I, myself, couldn't do the sharing thing. I'm just not wired that way... so I empathize with you that way.

 

[Collar_N_Cuffs]

Hi Jayce -
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It's very difficult when you have problems both inside and outside of your marriage, with happiness denied on both ends. So very sorry
You know how people say... Oh, I wish I had not seen that, I cannot un-see that...? Well, I'm afraid the same thing applies to feelings. You cannot un-feel what you have felt, and things unfortunately cannot go magically back to the way they were. So now the question becomes this: Can you go on with your relationship in a healthy manner feeling what you feel now? I agree with Raw Humor, and the way in which you found out was, undesirable at its very best. Shock, when added to hurt, only makes the feeling that much worse. But now that it is done, and you're Dom has made clear his desire for a relationship with someone that is available in ways that you as a married woman are not, can you adjust? If not, and if you don't want any part of a threesome with them, you're only choice is to move on. That's painful and difficult I know. Take the lesson learned and move on. Find out what it is that a person is looking for, what they want out of a relationship with you before you invest your heart in the affair. Otherwise, bite the bullet, bide you're time, enjoy what you can and see if your heart changes, see if you can forgive him and accept her.
I feel for you, and I hope you find some comfort

 

[All_4_Love]

Hi Jayce -
I'm so sorry for what you are going through. It's very difficult when you have problems both inside and outside of your marriage, with happiness denied on both ends. So very sorry
You know how people say... Oh, I wish I had not seen that, I cannot un-see that...? Well, I'm afraid the same thing applies to feelings. You cannot un-feel what you have felt, and things unfortunately cannot go magically back to the way they were. So now the question becomes this: Can you go on with your relationship in a healthy manner feeling what you feel now? I agree with Raw Humor, and the way in which you found out was, undesirable at its very best. Shock, when added to hurt, only makes the feeling that much worse. But now that it is done, and you're Dom has made clear his desire for a relationship with someone that is available in ways that you as a married woman are not, can you adjust? If not, and if you don't want any part of a threesome with them, you're only choice is to move on. That's painful and difficult I know. Take the lesson learned and move on. Find out what it is that a person is looking for, what they want out of a relationship with you before you invest your heart in the affair. Otherwise, bite the bullet, bide you're time, enjoy what you can and see if your heart changes, see if you can forgive him and accept her.
I feel for you, and I hope you find some comfort

Priceless advice.

I, too, am very sorry for what you're going through. I can only imagine the hurt.

Take care of yourself, dear. Wishing for you to find peace and clarity.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I'm in a complicated relationship myself and understand some of the hurt you are feeling.

Try very hard to get your own emotions under control. Your Dom is correct, jealousy and anger are not attractive. (of course he could have helped to prevent this by telling you about the girlfriend before you found out on your own but it's too late for that). I know this is so much easier said than done.

Figure out what you need from the relationship. Make sure the needs are realistic and that they not include him getting rid of the girlfriend. Then ask him to sit down with you for a calm conversation. Ask him to also tell you what he needs from you. It is easier all around if expectations are clear.

If as time goes on you find yourself feeling more negative feelings on a daily basis than positive it is time to re-evaluate whether to stay or go. Decide if you really are able to share.

Don't allow your negative feelings seep into your everyday life and overwhelm you to the point where they are a distraction from your children. (and your job, and other priorities outside of your D/s relationship)


Huge hugs for you.

 

[SuccubusScribe]

Its over now...

After standing me up on a promised chat lastnight and after not returning my call. I have come to the realization that as much as it hurts, It's over now and what's done is done. I must move on and try to keep my head high.

The hardest part is facing the day, knowing that he will not seek me out again and that no final words will be spoken. I don't know how I will find the strength to keep my face in check as I walk past his desk to mine. All I know, is that I must do this every day, walk past his desk, with my head high as if it was nothing to to so. I mustent let him see my tears.

Im going to have to dig deep, to make this a new day and deeper still, to go about it as if I were unaffected. I'm going to have to swallow my tears in the shower and apply my makeup with great care and shaking hands. I will tie my corset strings tightly and pull on my pantyhose carefully as not to tear a run. I will wear my fitted suit jacket and a skirt hemmed below the knee. I will wear my favorite high heels, with the sexy straps and I will button up the pretty pearl buttons on my favorite purple blouse with trembling fingers...

I wonder in the dark places of my mind, if it was all worth it? Was that taste of pleasure, that glimpse of freedom worth the price of this pain?

This is not the first time I've had to walk away and I know it wont be the last either. And so today I begin again, one step at a time.... Im going to breathe deeply before opening that door and with one foot in front of the other and with my pleasant facade firmly in place, I will pass him by as if he was nothing because he treated me like nothing and I know I can do better...

 

[Netzach]

I don't get it.

I mean, go on, hold your head high and progress with life. Go you.

But you're the one having the affair. What exactly do you expect this guy to do, wait until you are available and then jump up running forever?

Be alone for every foreseeable Christmas and holiday? Fall in love with you as you are with him, and accept that it's never going to go anywhere, but never actually find someone to be with in his day to day, someone he can openly be around? Can you catch every one of his phone calls and answer every one of his emails openly?

I mean maybe not running it by you isn't class, but maybe you need to take a deep breath and be realistic about what you can and can't expect from people if you're going to be in the position you are in. I think it would be good policy to realize that your lovers may want the stability that you have, as well as the adventure that you are sharing with them, not just put all stability on hold for the sake of your desire for one-way exclusivity. Just assume that if you go onward with compartmentalizing and affairs. (No judgement here, just advice.) Believe me, you WANT this "other person" to have a stabilizing influence outside of your affair if you can't be there for them if their shit hits the fan. It takes a lot of pressure off of you that you can't possibly assist with.

Again, dude loses style points, but he may not even understand why this is an issue because of the inherent flaw in your relationship as a relationship. In the future, maybe even be happy for them if they find someone special, especially someone special enough not to insist that you get ditched immediately.

"My Dom doesn't seem to understand what my deal is because his girlfriend does not mind him continuing his affair with me, and is also open to having a 3way with me, if I want to... "

That's pretty freaking awesome, as partners go when you're going the "it's complicated" route.

But whatever works for you.

 

[SuccubusScribe]

Your points are valid.

I Agree with your response, which is why I have to walk away right now.

Maybe it could have been great, a part of me wanted it all and part of me really tried, I did. But if the man has not enough time and attention to share and if the man is unwilling to entertain any discussion on the subject, what choice do I have? Put up or leave.

I Know the reality of my situation and I know that I cant be all id like to be at this time. But I was not asking for the world here. I never ever said its her or me. All I asked is that he be real with me and if he didnt want me any more it was ok (he said not to be silly and that he wanted to keep me too, long term). At that point, all I asked for was to have some set time with him for regular "sessions" and to be his special girl durring those times. Was that to much to ask for, to hope for?

Its been over a month since our last "session", since he has given me more than a kiss and its painfully obvious that he dosent have the time for me anymore.. Ive tried to open some dialogue but every time he gets irritated with me and calls me a brat and tells me im jealous... how can i work through this with him and be open to her if he will not talk to me? We work in the same building and he is distant all day and then I drive him home at night and he kisses me with such passion, right their infront of his house and then he sends me home... unsatisfied...

So, here I am trying to take the high road, by not creating A scene, by keeping up pleasent appearences and by moving on...

 

[Netzach]

I Agree with your response, which is why I have to walk away right now.

Maybe it could have been great, a part of me wanted it all and part of me really tried, I did. But if the man has not enough time and attention to share and if the man is unwilling to entertain any discussion on the subject, what choice do I have? Put up or leave.

I Know the reality of my situation and I know that I cant be all id like to be at this time. But I was not asking for the world here. I never ever said its her or me. All I asked is that he be real with me and if he didnt want me any more it was ok (he said not to be silly and that he wanted to keep me too, long term). At that point, all I asked for was to have some set time with him for regular "sessions" and to be his special girl durring those times. Was that to much to ask for, to hope for?

Its been over a month since our last "session", since he has given me more than a kiss and its painfully obvious that he dosent have the time for me anymore.. Ive tried to open some dialogue but every time he gets irritated with me and calls me a brat and tells me im jealous... how can i work through this with him and be open to her if he will not talk to me? We work in the same building and he is distant all day and then I drive him home at night and he kisses me with such passion, right their infront of his house and then he sends me home... unsatisfied...

So, here I am trying to take the high road, by not creating A scene, by keeping up pleasent appearences and by moving on...

Yeah, ok, that's totally lame, my bad.

 

[Curious_in_Cali]

I feel compelled to share that I often don't agree with all the negative feelings that get piled under jealousy being actual jealousy at all. Had I discovered something like that the way that you did, I think the surge of emotion would look more like betrayal than jealousy, the breaking of trust being the sting. It doesn't seem like it was about wanting what she had so much as finding out your relationship expectations were being mislead or maybe were just interpreted wrong.

I have very rarely ever experienced true jealousy, and it usually stems from the places of insecurities and frustration of when I see traits in another that are not natural or even attainable for me. More specifically, I feel it when I see my SO attracted to those traits in someone else and know that these desires will never be met with me and I internalize it as a deficit and start to act out or spike emotions like fear from that place. Again, this quite different than finding out that my perceptions of our realtionship expectations were wrong, or that I was intentionally lied to. For me, it is important to draw the line between the two because insecurities are about choices within the self, and betrayal is more about the choices of the other person each of which demand a totally different course of action.

Trust is the foundation of the realtionship and sadly, is rarely truly repairable once broken. IMO, it should be a deal breaker if you are actually putting your physical and emotional self in more vulnerable places because of the constructs of BDSM. Insecurities however are common human struggles I would label mostly normal and are something to work on in ourselves. Often it is just about stepping back and taking a personal inventory of your inherent awesomeness and reaching your feelers out in your realtionship for reminders of it's strengths and your role within it. That said, I would also probably question the value of a relationship that chronically draws out insecurities so often that they become the main focus of the shared realtionship work, but then again I often see this is why people will latch so firmly to eachother too. Humans really are amusing, fascinating, and often cringe worthy animals for sure.

Big hug to you, OP for what you are going through. Maybe you can allow each time you walk by his desk to be about making the active and explicit choice to love and choose yourself and the act of holding your head up will require much less effort. I hope you find peace with it all soon and find a path to claiming all the things you need, want, and deserve.

 

[IrisAlthea]

I feel compelled to share that I often don't agree with all the negative feelings that get piled under jealousy being actual jealousy at all. Had I discovered something like that the way that you did, I think the surge of emotion would look more like betrayal than jealousy, the breaking of trust being the sting. It doesn't seem like it was about wanting what she had so much as finding out your relationship expectations were being mislead or maybe were just interpreted wrong.

I have very rarely ever experienced true jealousy, and it usually stems from the places of insecurities and frustration of when I see traits in another that are not natural or even attainable for me. More specifically, I feel it when I see my SO attracted to those traits in someone else and know that these desires will never be met with me and I internalize it as a deficit and start to act out or spike emotions like fear from that place. Again, this quite different than finding out that my perceptions of our realtionship expectations were wrong, or that I was intentionally lied to. For me, it is important to draw the line between the two because insecurities are about choices within the self, and betrayal is more about the choices of the other person each of which demand a totally different course of action.

Trust is the foundation of the realtionship and sadly, is rarely truly repairable once broken. IMO, it should be a deal breaker if you are actually putting your physical and emotional self in more vulnerable places because of the constructs of BDSM. Insecurities however are common human struggles I would label mostly normal and are something to work on in ourselves. Often it is just about stepping back and taking a personal inventory of your inherent awesomeness and reaching your feelers out in your realtionship for reminders of it's strengths and your role within it. That said, I would also probably question the value of a relationship that chronically draws out insecurities so often that they become the main focus of the shared realtionship work, but then again I often see this is why people will latch so firmly to eachother too. Humans really are amusing, fascinating, and often cringe worthy animals for sure.

Big hug to you, OP for what you are going through. Maybe you can allow each time you walk by his desk to be about making the active and explicit choice to love and choose yourself and the act of holding your head up will require much less effort. I hope you find peace with it all soon and find a path to claiming all the things you need, want, and deserve.

I think you are spot on.

 

[dreamysub]

Saying all that, I, myself, couldn't do the sharing thing. I'm just not wired that way... so I empathize with you that way.

Eventho RawHumor doesn't post here anymore I like what he said.

I am in a D/s relationship with Dom who is 100% polyamorous while I am soooo not. Like 100% NOT lol.

Today I agreed to go with him to do some bondage with two girls he knows for a long time. The first time he asked me if I wanna go with him I was like Oh Hell No! Cuz I know I am jelaous bitch and I knew I won't like seeing him with someone else. Well he talk me into goin with him, but yes I was right. I don't like it one bit. I can do lots of things, but I don't share. It's simply not my thing. But it's sooo His thing. Not quite sure where it leave us. I would definitely rather be somewhere else right now. Anywhere but here.

They already spoke about goin to dungeon together. Said we all will go. Well I already know I WON'T. I had hard time watch him just do some bondage with them and I have no desire at all to see more. Like NONE. He can go as I know he like it and I would never stop him from doing what he likes, but the less I know about it the better. And I definitely DON'T wanna see that. Lame I know, but it's the way I am, I don't share.

I can't hide very well when I don't like something, so my Dom asked me like 10 times already if I am alright. Thinking what he expected me to tell him lol. Can't tell him no, I don't like it one bit and spoil the fun for the girls and him as well, but the truth is I wish I was somewhere else right now. Like anywhere else lolol.

Do some of you subs have a problem with this as well? Being with polyamorous Dom while you are not? It kinda sucks if you ask me.

 

[Ssbbw4u1974]

It does suck.
I have jealousy issues, which is ironic because I'm kinda polyamory myself.
I'm in a D/s situationship, where I'm his sub.
He's also polyamory.
we have an understanding that it's ok for me to flirt with others, but I only have one Dom.
I find it's better for my sanity if I don't ask if he has other subs.
Don't ask. Don't tell.
It works for us.

 

[dreamysub]

It does suck.
I have jealousy issues, which is ironic because I'm kinda polyamory myself.
I'm in a D/s situationship, where I'm his sub.
He's also polyamory.
we have an understanding that it's ok for me to flirt with others, but I only have one Dom.
I find it's better for my sanity if I don't ask if he has other subs.
Don't ask. Don't tell.
It works for us.

I think the less I know the better, as atm I watch him play with another sub and I find it very hard. It annoys me to no end he enjoy him self with someone else but me lol. Knowing someone else made him excited simply wanna make me dissapear. He definitely going by himself next time. This is definitely something I can't and refuse to do.

 

[Biggalute]

It does suck.
I have jealousy issues, which is ironic because I'm kinda polyamory myself.
I'm in a D/s situationship, where I'm his sub.
He's also polyamory.
we have an understanding that it's ok for me to flirt with others, but I only have one Dom.
I find it's better for my sanity if I don't ask if he has other subs.
Don't ask. Don't tell.
It works for us.

I think the less I know the better, as atm I watch him play with another sub and I find it very hard. It annoys me to no end he enjoy him self with someone else but me lol. Knowing someone else made him excited simply wanna make me dissapear. He definitely going by himself next time. This is definitely something I can't and refuse to do.

Hi Dreamy and Ssb, I just came across this thread and your posts. I'm not a sub or a dom (although it's a lifestyle I'm increasingly interested in and included in my last story) but what you've both said resonates with me and got me thinking.
I think many of us imagine an amazing sexual utopia where nobody has any hangups but that's just not the reality. I think I'm fairly laid back but find myself easily jealous and have to stop myself from saying something (even with friends/play partners on lit).

It's a very difficult thing when you care for someone and their actions are hurting you, even if they don't mean to.
I have no great words of advice other than I hope you're both ok and that you can find a way of working things out that leaves you and your partners/doms in a good place.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Eventho RawHumor doesn't post here anymore I like what he said.

I am in a D/s relationship with Dom who is 100% polyamorous while I am soooo not. Like 100% NOT lol.

Today I agreed to go with him to do some bondage with two girls he knows for a long time. The first time he asked me if I wanna go with him I was like Oh Hell No! Cuz I know I am jelaous bitch and I knew I won't like seeing him with someone else. Well he talk me into goin with him, but yes I was right. I don't like it one bit. I can do lots of things, but I don't share. It's simply not my thing. But it's sooo His thing. Not quite sure where it leave us. I would definitely rather be somewhere else right now. Anywhere but here.

They already spoke about goin to dungeon together. Said we all will go. Well I already know I WON'T. I had hard time watch him just do some bondage with them and I have no desire at all to see more. Like NONE. He can go as I know he like it and I would never stop him from doing what he likes, but the less I know about it the better. And I definitely DON'T wanna see that. Lame I know, but it's the way I am, I don't share.

I can't hide very well when I don't like something, so my Dom asked me like 10 times already if I am alright. Thinking what he expected me to tell him lol. Can't tell him no, I don't like it one bit and spoil the fun for the girls and him either, but the truth is I wish I was somewhere else right now. Like anywhere else lolol.

Do some of you subs have a problem with this as well? Being with polyamorous Dom while you are not? It kinda sucks if you ask me.

I was in a relationship like this. And it worked, until it didn’t. I’m not poly at all and the sharing was not easy. I still love and care for him, but just as friends as we just didn’t fit that way. The beginning was amazing, though.

 

[Seamaid]

Ask me all about jealousy... I'll write a whole novel..

Jealousy is hard to let go. But you can think it that way, "he's in a relationship. So am I! Both equal." Have your fun as long as you want to n move on. If you can't ( cuz I couldn't also), forget your Dom n move on. There's no point hurting yourself some more. You'll get someone perfect

 

[Seamaid]

Can't believe I'm replying to this thread 10 years later lol. My bad! Tell us, how things are now? What happened since then!? R u happy?

 

[dreamysub]

I was in a relationship like this. And it worked, until it didn’t. I’m not poly at all and the sharing was not easy. I still love and care for him, but just as friends as we just didn’t fit that way. The beginning was amazing, though.

I am not poly at all either. I knew he is, but then again, I thought he will be just someone I play with every now and then, but somehow we get much closer than that. I am not quiet sure how this will work. I did go to this bondage with him, cuz he really wanted me to go. I thought if I try hard enough it might be alright to watch him do this with someone else, but it so was not. Sadly he did notice. I am not very good at hiding how I feel about things. He said he is sorry I didn't enjoy it. I didn't reply to him, I didn't even have too, cuz it was so obvious I wasn't my usual self as when we are alone together. I felt stupid and sad and simply wished I didnt agree to go. I seriously need to stop doing things just to please someone no matter how it efects "me". I was quiet pretty much whole day long, trying to keep it together and no to start crying like an idiot there. I cried when the girls left. Not because I was mad or something, it's just my bloody brain was driving me NUTS for the rest of the day. So nuts I ended up in tears. It suppoused to be a nice day out with him, as its his birthday tomorrow, but honestly if I could erase today, I would!

I saw things I wish I didn't see, heard him say things I thought he say just to me. But more than that, I saw him enjoy himself with someone else and I can't take that. Lame, I know, but can't help how I feel about things.

He asked me if it was okay with me what he did with those girls. I was quiet, so he told me, or you don't wanna talk about it. I told him I don't. I couldn't, cuz then I would cry so he could see and would feel even worse. I was pretty much quiet for the rest of the day. I snuggled up into his arms and cried, so he couldnt see. Wasn't in the mood to talk or play, I just wanted be gone. We had a plan he will tie me up as well once the girls leave, but I couldn't. Wasn't on the mood at all. I am weird when it comes to this. He asked me if he should put me on the leash, I told him it's up to him. I seriously didn't care at that point, I just wanted be alone. Still need to be alone right now.

He is not happy I didn't enjoy it and I am not happy I saw what I saw and heard what I heard. He can keep doing this, but don't think I can come with him. What I saw today was probably enough, don't think I wanna see more than I already saw.

In a way we work so well when we are together. When we are alone. But this? I can't do this and yet I know it's what he craves. He did enjoy himself a lot today. Well at least until he noticed I didn't. I think what sadness me the most is that I am not all he needs. Simply cuz I need to be that for my partner and I find it very dissapointing that I am not. It's hard to explain, but it's the way I am. I need to be someones everything. If he has a need, I need to be the one who satisfy that need. If he needs to tie up someone, I want to be the one he wants too tie up. If he needs to whip someone, I wanna be the one on the recieving end. And I could go in and on, but you get the picture. I want him to crave me as I crave him, but somehow relationships I had/have never work out that way.

Not quite sure where we goin me and him, but it scares me we gonna end up just like you. It will probably work until it won't. We are sooo diferent in this sharing thing. When he finished with the girls he told me "I am here, they just borrowed my hands for a while". I had to bite my tongue not to tell him I am sorry, but I do not borrow things to anyone. I simply can't, no matter how much I wish I could, as I know it would make him happy.

I am sure we will have conversation about it again once I agree to talk about it. I do not look forward to that, as I know I will have to tell him I can't do this and he will be dissapointed. I am dissapointed too, for many reasons...

Don't think I will change to poly and he won't change either. Oh well, will see where it will take us.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Yeah, I understand all of that. I do hope you find the right path forward for you

 

[dreamysub]

Yeah, I understand all of that. I do hope you find the right path forward for you

Thank you, I hope so too.

 

[Yarglenurp]

Posts like this are why I believe some kinks are better left on the computer screen than bringing into real life.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Posts like this are why I believe some kinks are better left on the computer screen than bringing into real life.

People aren’t always compatible. I wouldn’t trade the experience I had with the bf I was referencing. It eventually ended because that part didn’t work, but that’s okay. I learned a lot about myself and life and the wide world of BDSM in that relationship. And I am fully enjoying getting my kink on with the guy I’ve been with since.

When the kinks line up, some magic can happen.

 

[dreamysub]

Posts like this are why I believe some kinks are better left on the computer screen than bringing into real life.

I think it's quite worth it, you just need to respect your limits. I tend to ignore mine to please others which is kinda dumb, but it's the way I am. My Master did warn me to keep the feelings out of the D/s relationships... I guess I'm unteachable when it comes to this. Honestly, I am not sure if I can even do this with someone without getting emotionaly involved after some time. I am pretty sure I can't.

Well, I told my Dom I did try, but can't watch him do things with others. He can do it, I don't mind, but I won't be there to watch. I can't take that. See him enjoy himself so much with someone else breaks my heart. Watch him hug her and kiss her after, even if it was only aftercare, I couldn't take that. I was this close to runing away.. He says it was "just" bondage and maybe it was, for him. There were things said and done I find very intimate and I won't be part of it. I told him maybe he could watch me getting bound by someone else, really enjoying myself, trembling in other hands than his and being happy with someone else, pleased by someone else. But I can't and won't watch him like that. He said he is not sure if could watch me like that and is too scared to try. I told him I have no desire to try it out. And I don't. He is enough for me, just wish I was enough for him too. But thats story of my life in any relationship I enter.