Cock Talk

[hotwords229_A]

Has no one schooled you on demodex & dust mites?

I’ve never heard of demodex (I’ll have to research) and the only mites I want in my bed are mitey fine vaginas!

Please, submit this rigorous diagnostic tool tool to the American Psychological Association. It could save so much time diagnosing!!!!

I just can’t tolerate the idea of one bare foot and one fully shoed. It seems like a red flag to me.

If my spouses snores & CPAP don't scare you off, I'm not sure the variety of firearms will.

No samurai sword, baseball bat, home-defense chainsaw? Nothing?

How do you give a hand job? Women- you do this, and that and.... Man- Like this. I'll show you. turn on your web cam.

We are very hands on.

If they’re creeping around out in the country, they get to see it all.

Have you not heard the tale of Freddy, Jason, Michael, Leatherface, Chucky, Werewolves, Draculas, et all?

They’re all out there, man, and they’re looking in!

 

[Apisto42]

Have you not heard the tale of Freddy, Jason, Michael, Leatherface, Chucky, Werewolves, Draculas, et all?

They’re all out there, man, and they’re looking in!

Dude, if they come in the house they’re either getting shot or fucked. It’s their choice.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

How often do you change your sheets?
Every Saturday

If women had never been invented, do you think guys would ever wash their sheets? Would sheets exist? Would beds? If you answered yes to any of these do you feel as ridiculous as you look?
Depends entirely on the guy. But as a whole, probably not. Guys are kind of gross.

What do you wear to bed (on an average “sleep only” night)?
Depends on my cycle. Typically nude unless circumstances necessitate underwear.

Have you ever fucked your pillow?
Yes. Pillow humping was my go to for quite some time.

Do you sleep in your socks?
Sometimes. I don't enjoy cold feet

Do you sleep with animals (and I don’t mean in a perverted way)?
No. Hard limit for me.

Do you have extraneous pillows or blankets on your bed that have no purpose but decorative?
Hell no. I have a fitted sheet, top sheet, wool blanket in winter and a quilt. Three pillow. That's it. No need to complicate it.

Do you keep sex toys in a drawer next to your bed, or hidden somewhere else?
In a box in my closet.

Do you hog the blankets?
I can, yes. I like to be wrapped up tight.

Do you shower/bathe before bed or sleep in your own filth?
Shower!

Do you take both shoes off and then both socks, or one shoe and one sock at a time like a psychopath?
Both shoes and then socks.

Curtains open or closed?
Open

Do you change in front of a window with the possibility of peeping neighbors, or do you change like a ninja with no possibility of being seen?
Yeah, I do.

Do you leave your clothes nearby in case of emergency, or are you going into battle in your Underoos?
I'm down with a naked wrestling match if the need raises

Do you have some form of self defense weapon near your bed?
Mag light count?

It’s a warm night, are your feet out of the covers or in?
In

When you wake up, are your blankets/sheets in perfect order or does it look like a rhinoceros tried to kick his heroin habit overnight in your bed?
I tuck my sheets in tight and they usually stay pretty neat.

What did I miss?
I need natural fibers. I can't stand sleeping in anything synthetic. It's cotton, wool and linen for me.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Mag light count?

Yes, assuming it’s one of the big ones like the cops use.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Yes, assuming it’s one of the big ones like the cops use.

It was a gift from my dad (a cop)

 

[hotwords229_A]

It was a gift from my dad (a cop)

I love that!

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I love that!

Do you like your women s little dominant?

 

[Jonnymc]

https://www.***********/scl/fi/fpiw...16-3.png?rlkey=5qelirb1et1205d2cra0i9m2k&dl=0

 

[Endless_Night]

That is A LOT of questions!

How often do you change your sheets? Weekly.
If women had never been invented, do you think guys would ever wash their sheets? Would sheets exist? Would beds? If you answered yes to any of these do you feel as ridiculous as you look? What Aussie said. Guys can be kinda gross.
What do you wear to bed (on an average “sleep only” night)? T-shirt only.
Have you ever fucked your pillow?
Do you sleep in your socks? In the winter.
Do you sleep with animals (and I don’t mean in a perverted way)? Yes. Until he passed away at 17.
Do you have extraneous pillows or blankets on your bed that have no purpose but decorative? Yes.
Do you keep sex toys in a drawer next to your bed, or hidden somewhere else? Let me tell you a little story about how people were coming to visit and I tore apart the entire house because I had no idea where my one and only vibrator was and I was afraid someone would accidentally find it! *thunk*
Do you hog the blankets? Yep.
Do you shower/bathe before bed or sleep in your own filth? Ewwww. Shower or bathe.
Do you take both shoes off and then both socks, or one shoe and one sock at a time like a psychopath? Not a psychopath. I also don't wear shoes in the house.
Curtains open or closed? Half my windows don't have curtains!
Do you change in front of a window with the possibility of peeping neighbors, or do you change like a ninja with no possibility of being seen? See above. I'm currently out in the country.
Do you leave your clothes nearby in case of emergency, or are you going into battle in your Underoos? Oof! Talk about things that have never crossed my mind.
Do you have some form of self defense weapon near your bed? Does my area's current bumper crop of scorpions count?
It’s a warm night, are your feet out of the covers or in? Warm night - in. Hot night - in and out.
When you wake up, are your blankets/sheets in perfect order or does it look like a rhinoceros tried to kick his heroin habit overnight in your bed? Fairly neat.
What did I miss? I sleep with a weighted blanket.

 

[Endless_Night]

*as a former firefighter, I will say that if you sleep naked please keep a shirt or undies near by. Wrestling your sweaty naked body out of a second story windows is more difficult than getting a grip on a greased pig

This comment right here may have singlehandedly changed my sleeping attire habits.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Half my windows don't have curtains!

Same

 

[aussiegeekygal]

This comment right here may have singlehandedly changed my sleeping attire habits.

It made me laugh AND convinced me to wear clothes to bed.
Normally it's the other way around.
10/10

 

[hotwords229_A]

Do you like your women a little dominant?

Maybe a little, but what I loved was your dad looking out for you by proving light and defense.

T-shirt only.

ONLY?!

Let me tell you a little story about how people were coming to visit and I tore apart the entire house because I had no idea where my one and only vibrator was and I was afraid someone would accidentally find it! *thunk*

You never did tell us if you found it.

Does my area's current bumper crop of scorpions count?

If they are trained, then yes.

I sleep with a weighted blanket.

Ah yes, the weighted blanket. I love mine.

 

[Endless_Night]

It made me laugh AND convinced me to wear clothes to bed.
Normally it's the other way around.
10/10

I am now wondering if I can train myself to sleep fully clothed.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Maybe a little, but what I loved was your dad looking out for you by proving light and defense.

Look at me itching at the idea of figuring out just how dominant you can handle...

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I am now wondering if I can train myself to sleep fully clothed.

If it helps, I can justify a lack of pants in the sense that I'm providing a few extra avenues of grip if the need raises.

A mortifying thought

 

[Endless_Night]

ONLY?!

*nods*

Panties are too confining.

You never did tell us if you found it.

I did so! And I did.

(After several days of rising hysteria. )

 

[hotwords229_A]

Panties are too confining.

 

[Endless_Night]

If it helps, I can justify a lack of pants in the sense that I'm providing a few extra avenues of grip if the need raises.

A mortifying thought

Oh. My. God.

I will be buying pajama pants tomorrow. Possibly before even having coffee.

 

[hotwords229_A]

Look at me itching at the idea of figuring out just how dominant you can handle...

I can handle quite a bit. But I can dish it out too.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Panties are too confining.

I get that.
I have a bunch of my husband's boxer briefs he didn't really care for. I love them for sleeping.

 

[MindYaBitness]

This comment right here may have singlehandedly changed my sleeping attire habits.

It made me laugh AND convinced me to wear clothes to bed.
Normally it's the other way around.
10/10

look at me, decades away from my firefighting days and yet I'm still fulfilling my civic duties!

https://media1.giphy.com/media/1lk1IcVgqPLkA/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952rr41jgmvkskwd7u904q7g0wyosg69a0lsoxzxa86&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I can handle quite a bit. But I can dish it out too.

Same

 

[Endless_Night]

I get that.
I have a bunch of my husband's boxer briefs he didn't really care for. I love them for sleeping.

I have absolutely done this. They are sooooooo comfortable.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

look at me, decades away from my firefighting days and yet I'm still fulfilling my civic duties!

https://media1.giphy.com/media/1lk1IcVgqPLkA/giphy.gif?cid=6c09b952rr41jgmvkskwd7u904q7g0wyosg69a0lsoxzxa86&ep=v1_internal_gif_by_id&rid=giphy.gif&ct=g

It gets better.
This comment is being shared in my family group chat. It's (sleeping naked) a genetic habit. We're all laughing and silently going "fuck".