You can do everything right or everything wrong, it’s still a lottery who we have. I was a fine dad but not a great or even completely consistent disciplinarian and my kids never once got in trouble. I have friends who have one kid who is a dream and the other an absolute nightmare. Parenting always matters but I know I shouldn’t pat myself too hard on tbe back that mine seem to have turned out good
Not neglect so much as I'm the adult here. For example, 3 year old kid is having a fit because she doesn't want a winter coat. She gets two options, double hoodie or a winter coat. That's it. She feels in control of her choice, I've made it clear her preference of a single hoodie is a no go. Win:win. I'm not going to fight about it, or let a fit or threat of embarrassment dissuade me from being the parent in any situation.
Sounds like good advice to me. I sometimes wonder about the effects of people being obsessed with “safety”. How does anyone accomplish anything without risk? Growing up with no helmets, falling off bikes and skateboards, skinned knees and bleeding heads… we learned how to pick ourselves up and move on. Didn’t have a choice, no one else was there to fix it.I was just talking to a new father at work. He cleaned up an old kids play swing set in his backyard and said he might have to replace a few boards because there might be splinters—his kid is a few months old.
This reminded me that I didn’t have a wooden play palace, I had an old wooden plank nailed to a tree branch fifteen feet in the air with a ladder my dad built (he is no craftsman). The rungs of the ladder would spin if you stepped on them wrong.
His advice to me: if you fall, try to roll!
I had a great childhood.
Ah the 80's...Sounds like good advice to me. I sometimes wonder about the effects of people being obsessed with “safety”. How does anyone accomplish anything without risk? Growing up with no helmets, falling off bikes and skateboards, skinned knees and bleeding heads… we learned how to pick ourselves up and move on. Didn’t have a choice, no one else was there to fix it.
A friend had a treehouse with a trap door in the middle of the floor… which we usually never closed. Almost falling through that a few times was… exciting.
LONESTARR!!!!!!Raspberry!!! Only one person would dare give me the raspberry….
I hope that's not the impression I was trying to give. We've been to hell and back with one of my kids, but there are extenuating circumstances in that particular case.
My favorite was "are you bleeding? No? Then why are you crying?" You'd better have an open wound requiring stitches before asking for comfort or a bandaid.I was just talking to a new father at work. He cleaned up an old kids play swing set in his backyard and said he might have to replace a few boards because there might be splinters—his kid is a few months old.
This reminded me that I didn’t have a wooden play palace, I had an old wooden plank nailed to a tree branch fifteen feet in the air with a ladder my dad built (he is no craftsman). The rungs of the ladder would spin if you stepped on them wrong.
His advice to me: if you fall, try to roll!
I had a great childhood.
That’s modern parenting, not boomer parenting. Boomer parenting rolls their eyes, says something about kids these days, makes sure you have a house key and know how to make yourself a snack when you get home all while holding an ashy cigarette.
My mom used to say “Either you can clean your room, or I will”. Which, on it’s face, sounds like a pretty good deal. But her idea of cleaning was throwing out everything except my bed and some clothes.
That’s why so many of us grew up with undiagnosed concussions
And don’t bleed on the carpet!
I have to admit, even though I have a parent who literally had part of his brain removed, I was reticent about forcing helmets on bikes. Now, it's a no brainer - no helmet = no riding (whatever thing it may be). Risk is too high. But in so many other things, pain is an effective instructor. Get a little hurt, cuts, even break a couple bones. My only kid to break any bones (4 in 1 yearSounds like good advice to me. I sometimes wonder about the effects of people being obsessed with “safety”. How does anyone accomplish anything without risk? Growing up with no helmets, falling off bikes and skateboards, skinned knees and bleeding heads… we learned how to pick ourselves up and move on. Didn’t have a choice, no one else was there to fix it.
A friend had a treehouse with a trap door in the middle of the floor… which we usually never closed. Almost falling through that a few times was… exciting.
) nearly broke a toe again last night doing the same damn thing. Some kids never learn 
It was very different from my peers who were helicopter moms and tried to make up for the neglect they dealt with by being over indulgent.
We went a different track. Our kid didn't want to wear a coat when it was cold. We knew, at worst, she would be uncomfortable. So we explained that we weren't taking a coat for her, and if she was cold she was cold. She made the choice, and was cold. But next time she took her coat. There was an experience, and a consequence. (She was the first kid in her preschool to use the word "consequences." A lot.)
https://i.giphy.com/media/v1.Y2lkPTc5MGI3NjExYWw4MGdqaWI3cHRwNjF1bml1b2gxOXFtYXprZG9xdDcxajM4Mm5vbiZlcD12MV9pbnRlcm5hbF9naWZfYnlfaWQmY3Q9Zw/4spXzGPzlvA76/giphy.gifMy mom used to say “Either you can clean your room, or I will”. Which, on it’s face, sounds like a pretty good deal. But her idea of cleaning was throwing out everything except my bed and some clothes.
So I cleaned my room. Of course, being the defiant ass-kicker that I’ve always been, I would leave one toy I didn’t care about lying around.
I’m a total badass!
Facts
AKA closed head TBI. No bueno.
Married the helicopter mom. Sometimes I overcorrect a little much to strike the balance.
Minus the cigarette, that was about it. But it was more my mom trying to raise three of us by herself than actual neglect. And I loved it. "Be back before the porch lights come on" for summer was the best...
I have never broken a bone, or had stitches… wait I think I had some when a tooth was pulled as an adult… but it wasn’t because I was careful, I just never told my mom when I crashed or fell out of a tree or whatever.
I know of one crash I had that I am positive gave me a concussion. The back tire on my bike suddenly locked up (don’t remember why) and I flew off and slid across the pavement. I remember I had to walk my bike several blocks home, carrying the back tire. When I got there, I realized I didn’t have my key, and no one was home. So I laid down on the front seat of my mom’s car and fell asleep. It was much later I found out that could have been bad.
Oh, my wife used "either you clean it or I will" with our kid as well. And the Girl knew she would use a scoop shovel to do it.My mom used to say “Either you can clean your room, or I will”. Which, on it’s face, sounds like a pretty good deal. But her idea of cleaning was throwing out everything except my bed and some clothes.
So I cleaned my room. Of course, being the defiant ass-kicker that I’ve always been, I would leave one toy I didn’t care about lying around.
I’m a total badass!
All the hugs BrendaI have never broken a bone, or had stitches… wait I think I had some when a tooth was pulled as an adult… but it wasn’t because I was careful, I just never told my mom when I crashed or fell out of a tree or whatever.
I know of one crash I had that I am positive gave me a concussion. The back tire on my bike suddenly locked up (don’t remember why) and I flew off and slid across the pavement. I remember I had to walk my bike several blocks home, carrying the back tire. When I got there, I realized I didn’t have my key, and no one was home. So I laid down on the front seat of my mom’s car and fell asleep. It was much later I found out that could have been bad.
I never told my parents about it. I was convinced they didn’t care what happened to me anyway.
I wonder what the long term effects of that have been.
Well, I boxed, so...
Flashback...
