Writing from your opposite sex perspective

[Ophelia_Coque]

After writing two stories and ditching them in frustration, I managed to complete another story. I tried to write it from a male point of view. I consulted my partner and some friends about what how sexual desire manifests itself, but suspect I have fallen far short. Authors in this forum were very helpful giving advice when I started writing erotica, and I would appreciate your words of wisdom again.

The story

Ophelia

 

[Sappho_CGN]

LOL

I will follow this thread. I tried that in an attempt to describe both sides from a third-person-view but stopped that as the male side sounded not very convincing to me.

 

[mildlyaroused]

I've read the first little bit of the story and thought I'd let you know that you are a good writer. Keep it up. I may return to the story once I have a bit more time

For now I will say this: I think people tend to overthink this subject. That's always been my opinion when these threads have cropped up in the past.

I'll fully admit that I might have a tendency to write characters of all sexes too similarly - but in my defence, my experience in real life has told me that people are all just people. There is as much intra-sex diversity as inter-sex diversity. We are all human. Now, of course it's important to research and be authentic, particularly if gender is a thematic aspect of your story (like it may be, yours being in T&C). I'm not discouraging you from trying to write authentically from the opposite sex; I'm just saying that you're probably already better than you think you are. Good luck!

 

[Voboy]

For now I will say this: I think people tend to overthink this subject. That's always been my opinion when these threads have cropped up in the past.

HUGELY.

A horny person is a horny person, but everyone feels these things in their own way. So your character, if it's a convincing person, is going to be readable and relatable no matter what kind of genitals they have. I don't think writers need to get too hung up on complete accuracy.

I look at it this way: any two males are going to describe sex differently from each other, and I'm sure any two females will, too. So there's no "monolithic" male or female viewpoints. Just focus on writing a good character, and your audience will appreciate it.

 

[StillStunned]

For now I will say this: I think people tend to overthink this subject. That's always been my opinion when these threads have cropped up in the past.

I'll fully admit that I might have a tendency to write characters of all sexes too similarly - but in my defence, my experience in real life has told me that people are all just people. There is as much intra-sex diversity as inter-sex diversity. We are all human. Now, of course it's important to research and be authentic, particularly if gender is a thematic aspect of your story (like it may be, yours being in T&C). I'm not discouraging you from trying to write authentically from the opposite sex; I'm just saying that you're probably already better than you think you are. Good luck!

I was about to write something similar. People are people, and they're all the same and they're all unique.

One thing I do if I'm writing "female gaze" is ask myself what my wife would be admiring. Hands. Scent. Legs. Voice. Body heat. I'm not saying that men don't notice these things, but I tend to highlight them for my female characters.

(When I'm writing male gaze I usually emphasise things like lips, smooth skin, attitude, the back of her neck that's exposed when she puts her hair up, the lines of her body curving in and out.)

 

[Ophelia_Coque]

I've read the first little bit of the story and thought I'd let you know that you are a good writer. Keep it up. I may return to the story once I have a bit more time

For now I will say this: I think people tend to overthink this subject. That's always been my opinion when these threads have cropped up in the past.

I'll fully admit that I might have a tendency to write characters of all sexes too similarly - but in my defence, my experience in real life has told me that people are all just people. There is as much intra-sex diversity as inter-sex diversity. We are all human. Now, of course it's important to research and be authentic, particularly if gender is a thematic aspect of your story (like it may be, yours being in T&C). I'm not discouraging you from trying to write authentically from the opposite sex; I'm just saying that you're probably already better than you think you are. Good luck!

Thanks for the kind comments. I do tend to over think issues. One story I started was along Kafka's Metamorphosis idea. A beautiful girl who is a successful model is plagued by the idea that she is popular and successful only because of her physical appearance, She wishes to be different. She goes to sleep and in the morning wakes up to find she possesses an 8 inch cock. I gave up on it because I could not authentically describe (IMO) what a person experiences having a penis. Perhaps I should have persevered.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

I agree - write a character, and being male or female is rarely the most interesting thing about them. What do they want, what stops them from having it, do they get it?

Some things to think about could include how well does the guy match up to the 'standard' of a male body? Or of male success? How does he feel about that? Who's around him with opinions? Given this is Lit, does he have any particular sexual interests? How open or embarrassed is he about them?

 

[Bazzle]

I've got a 10k story just like this waiting for editing. I am needing more emotional input to the female side of things.

 

[AnnieLit]

Thanks for the kind comments. I do tend to over think issues. One story I started was along Kafka's Metamorphosis idea. A beautiful girl who is a successful model is plagued by the idea that she is popular and successful only because of her physical appearance, She wishes to be different. She goes to sleep and in the morning wakes up to find she possesses an 8 inch cock. I gave up on it because I could not authentically describe (IMO) what a person experiences having a penis. Perhaps I should have persevered.

If you still have that story saved somewhere you should definitely continue with it because you don't need to know what it feels to have a penis for a man, it is enough to know what it would feel like to suddenly get one as an adult woman. She would be terrified, ashamed, confused, intrigued, etc. Her first task would be to figure out what to do in the bathroom - it is morning, she needs to pee. But she also got the morning wood, so peeing doesn't work. Does she know why it's not happening? How will she solve this problem?
For the outside world she will probably try to hide it for a bit (read up on how crossdressers do it), then she will come out to someone (her boyfriend? Her female close friend?). Their reaction?

 

[StillStunned]

If you still have that story saved somewhere you should definitely continue with it because you don't need to know what it feels to have a penis for a man, it is enough to know what it would feel like to suddenly get one as an adult woman. She would be terrified, ashamed, confused, intrigued, etc. Her first task would be to figure out what to do in the bathroom - it is morning, she needs to pee. But she also got the morning wood, so peeing doesn't work. Does she know why it's not happening? How will she solve this problem?
For the outside world she will probably try to hide it for a bit (read up on how crossdressers do it), then she will come out to someone (her boyfriend? Her female close friend?). Their reaction?

There are other things that she'd discover that men spend a large portion of their lives figuring out. How not to get your foreskin caught in your flies, for instance. How not to sit down on your balls. How not to get your pubes caught in your foreskin. What underwear gives the proper protection during cold weather to avoid frostbite from an icy wind. How to make things less noticeable if you find yourself with a chubby while you're walking down the street. How to pee standing up, and remembering to put the toilet seat up and down.

The flies and the balls things are the most important, though. Oh, and a cat making money while you're in your pyjamas can also be an excruciating experience.

 

[SimonDoom]

I agree with others that people tend to overthink this. If you focus on your character, you'll usually do fine. I read some of the story, and I thought you handled the male perspective just fine. The memories trying to look down Emily's shirt sound just like something a male/boy would think about. I have similar memories.

 

[TheLobster]

There are other things that she'd discover that men spend a large portion of their lives figuring out. How not to get your foreskin caught in your flies, for instance. How not to sit down on your balls. How not to get your pubes caught in your foreskin. What underwear gives the proper protection during cold weather to avoid frostbite from an icy wind. How to make things less noticeable if you find yourself with a chubby while you're walking down the street. How to pee standing up, and remembering to put the toilet seat up and down.

And this doesn't even get to using it for its other intended purpose, both in solo and duo editions.

Cocks are complicated.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

So … I’m going to put in my two cents and then read your story. Sheesh and I wouldn’t even call myself any kind of writer these days so maybe throw these words in the sea.

On one of my lit stories, a comment received was that I must be a woman. Spoiler: I am not.

I think what made it for me is I told that story from a clear viewpoint. Not necessarily a male or female … but from the character’s viewpoint. After that, the reader is just along for the ride.

So, narrating from a viewpoint should help your characters be believable. Once they’re believable, gender is secondary?

 

[nice90sguy]

As I'm personally more interested in the differences, rather than the similarities between male and female sexuality, I do overthink this, a lot.
I'm constantly surprised by (hetero-)sexually experienced women getting male sexuality completely wrong. Consequently I'm very cautious about the converse. Some people are better at imagining what it's like to be the opposite sex than others. I'm pretty sure I'm worse than many people at it.

 

[AlwaysDancing]

Oh, Dang. I read this story already!! And I can tell you I went along for the ride and believed all of your characters.

Success.

 

[AnnieLit]

There are other things that she'd discover that men spend a large portion of their lives figuring out. How not to get your foreskin caught in your flies, for instance. How not to sit down on your balls. How not to get your pubes caught in your foreskin. What underwear gives the proper protection during cold weather to avoid frostbite from an icy wind. How to make things less noticeable if you find yourself with a chubby while you're walking down the street. How to pee standing up, and remembering to put the toilet seat up and down.

The flies and the balls things are the most important, though. Oh, and a cat making money while you're in your pyjamas can also be an excruciating experience.

From what I understand, the main character still has female body but with the addition of ONE extra body part. So there are no balls that need protection )
The rest of your listed problems... From the female side don't seem that big of a deal
- foreskin being caught in the flies - wouldn't underwear solve this problem? Plus, as a woman, she can just continue to wear skirts, so no flies to worry about.
- proper protection during cold weather. That's an interesting question, never thought about that. I would guess that if she continues to dress the same way she was doing it when she was an all woman, she will be fine. Usually in the winter I am dressed warmer than my husband, so I am pretty much sure it should be enough.
- how to pee standing up. Does she have to? As far as I know, males are perfectly capable to do it sitting too.

And the using it for the main intended purposes that someone mentioned. I am sure the OP has given a few handjobs in her life, so she knows pretty well how THAT works. LOL

 

[AlinaX]

... a cat making money while you're in your pyjamas can also be an excruciating experience.

I, ah, need an explanation.

 

[StillStunned]

The rest of your listed problems... From the female side don't seem that big of a deal
- foreskin being caught in the flies - wouldn't underwear solve this problem?

You'd think, but no. Y fronts, or boxers with fold-over fly, or even just one button - a cock has a mind of its own, and can pop out at the most inconvenient times.

- how to pee standing up. Does she have to? As far as I know, males are perfectly capable to do it sitting too.

But then what's the point of having a willie?!

 

[StillStunned]

I, ah, need an explanation.

Picture a cat sitting on your lap. A happy cat. Contented. It starts making money. it's a happy cat, so it might move round a bit. It decides to turn round and face you. Its paws are right above your delicate bits, and its claws... well, the pyjamas won't give much protection.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Authors in this forum were very helpful giving advice when I started writing erotica, and I would appreciate your words of wisdom again.

I skim read it, and didn't find anything egregiously "wrong" with your male telling. The question you've asked isn't quite black and white though, given the object of his attraction is transgender - there's another gender fluid element going on,

If I wandered across this story with no hint of the author, I'd have said it was written by a woman, though, if only because of the oodles of empathy. That doesn't detract from your sense of Henry's maleness - as others have said, there's some credible male gaze going on. Some of that vibe might be the style - it's quite formal in a very English kind of way, very polite.

 

[nice90sguy]

Cocks are complicated.

As someone who's spent way too much time trying to make 3D graphics models of genitalia, I'd say they're simpler than cunts

 

[AnnieLit]

You'd think, but no. Y fronts, or boxers with fold-over fly, or even just one button - a cock has a mind of its own, and can pop out at the most inconvenient times.

She woke up with a cock, not with a drawer full of male underwear! So her only problem will be to choose the underwear stretchy enough to accommodate the new body part.

But then what's the point of having a willie?!

In this story? To be different. From EVERYONE, males and females. Her mind didn't change, only her body did, so I don't think she will suddenly feel the urge to start peeing standing up. Especially in a bathroom. In the woods she might try it as there it seems to be more convenient, but not in a bathroom.

 

[HordHolm]

My wife is a higher level amateur flamenco dancer, and one of the traditional dances she is particularly fascinated by often involves a woman dancing as if she were a man (rather than simply having a male performer). A few years ago my wife was due to give a performance in this role and she asked me how to get into the mindset of 'being a man onstage', (i.e. performative 'maleness'), and my advice was 1. focus your power between your legs, 2. banish doubt, 3. jump straight in and if it goes wrong, shrug (even if you're dying inside), and 4. focus your power between your legs. I'm not suggesting we're all knuckle-dragging, club-wielding denizens of the cave, but introducing an element of the above enabled my wife to give an exaggerated 'male' performance.

 

[KeithD]

You negate analysis from the top by including the claim you're trying to write from a male perspective. A reader can't objectively review the story from that point. Post one from the male perspective not giving the game away and then ask.

By reading and observing and developing the ability to put yourself inside the character when writing them should erase the gender walls in presentation. My best-selling books are in the voices of lesbians, which I'm not.

 

[TheLobster]

Picture a cat sitting on your lap. A happy cat. Contented. It starts making money. it's a happy cat, so it might move round a bit. It decides to turn round and face you. Its paws are right above your delicate bits, and its claws... well, the pyjamas won't give much protection.

A poignant illustration why you should keep the pussy well trimmed.