Sex & Shenanigans

[lavendersilk]

Once upon a time...​

I was in my late thirties and I had invited some friends over. I made two pitchers of frozen margaritas. I ended up drinking about two thirds of them because nobody wanted frozen margaritas...

I do not remember going to sleep in my bed, but I woke up there, fully clothed, with my phone ringing. It was my Mom wondering why I wasn't at work.

Thankfully I was living about a mile away from work at the time...

I was hungover, but I got there in a few minutes.

Later that day I asked if I could order a pizza because... apparently you get hungry after a hangover? Who knew?

Mom ordered us pizza, and I am so lucky to have her in my life.

️The End️​

 

[SirConradPeckereye]

Once upon a time...​

I was in my late thirties and I had invited some friends over. I made two pitchers of frozen margaritas. I ended up drinking about two thirds of them because nobody wanted frozen margaritas...

I do not remember going to sleep in my bed, but I woke up there, fully clothed, with my phone ringing. It was my Mom wondering why I wasn't at work.

Thankfully I was living about a mile away from work at the time...

I was hungover, but I got there in a few minutes.

Later that day I asked if I could order a pizza because... apparently you get hungry after a hangover? Who knew?

Mom ordered us pizza, and I am so lucky to have her in my life.

️The End️​

 

[MindYaBitness]

 

[deft]

Morning @Tigobitties98 ma'am!

 

[__Nathan1968]

View attachment 2349853

Let’s hear it for:

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Once upon a time...​

I was in my late thirties and I had invited some friends over. I made two pitchers of frozen margaritas. I ended up drinking about two thirds of them because nobody wanted frozen margaritas...

I do not remember going to sleep in my bed, but I woke up there, fully clothed, with my phone ringing. It was my Mom wondering why I wasn't at work.

Thankfully I was living about a mile away from work at the time...

I was hungover, but I got there in a few minutes.

Later that day I asked if I could order a pizza because... apparently you get hungry after a hangover? Who knew?

Mom ordered us pizza, and I am so lucky to have her in my life.

️The End️​

Why would we hate you for this? It adorable.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

View attachment 2349853

Mom finally found the stash huh?

 

[Whiskeyjack]

My first hangover I woke up at 11:30 the next morning, missed church and a family barbecue (the family left without me), and I woke up to a note on the TV that my dad had left that said, "You get this one time. Next time there are consequences."

 

[crazychemgirl]

I have a drunk story that is honestly so sweet and wholesome you will hate me for it. I will share later if anyone is interested in G rated content.

I didn’t know there was such a thing as G-rated drinking / hungover stories …

Most of my stories involve jello wrestling / pig statues / orgies / shopping scooters …

Just to name a few.

 

[crazychemgirl]

My first hangover I woke up at 11:30 the next morning, missed church and a family barbecue (the family left without me), and I woke up to a note on the TV that my dad had left that said, "You get this one time. Next time there are consequences."

That’s SO wholesome..


Damnit … maybe I’m the problem.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

That’s SO wholesome..


Damnit … maybe I’m the problem.

Ooohhh... I love getting to witness that moment of dawning self-awareness!

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

I didn’t know there was such a thing as G-rated drinking / hungover stories …

Most of my stories involve jello wrestling / pig statues / orgies / shopping scooters …

Just to name a few.

I’m somewhere in the middle. Most of my drunk stories involve me being absolutely hilarious to between 60% and 75% of the people present.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

That’s SO wholesome..


Damnit … maybe I’m the problem.

I mean..you might be in general . But probably not in this particular case.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

That’s SO wholesome..


Damnit … maybe I’m the problem.

My first hangover I spent “studying” on the top floor of my college library wondering what the fuck I had done to myself.

 

[dawn_of_night]

Ooohhh... I love getting to witness that moment of dawning self-awareness!

I just became a verb! I love it!

 

[MindYaBitness]

Mom finally found the stash huh?

Of course not! I'm slicker than that!

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

Of course not! I'm slicker than that!

Sure, that’s why you’re going to Bible camp while I’m going fishing with dad.

 

[macster3951]

I didn’t know there was such a thing as G-rated drinking / hungover stories …

Most of my stories involve jello wrestling / pig statues / orgies / shopping scooters …

Just to name a few.

I want to hear about these...did the jello wrestling and orgies happen in the same story? Not to mention, I really want to know about the pig statues.

 

[lavendersilk]

I want to hear about these...did the jello wrestling and orgies happen in the same story? Not to mention, I really want to know about the pig statues.

I second this.

 

[__Nathan1968]

I didn’t know there was such a thing as G-rated drinking / hungover stories …

Most of my stories involve jello wrestling / pig statues / orgies / shopping scooters …

Just to name a few.

What’s a shopping scooter?

 

[macster3951]

What’s a shopping scooter?

That's a very wholesome question, given the other items in the list.

I would imagine it is those electric scooters you see at some grocery stores.

 

[SalaciousMonkey22]

What’s a shopping scooter?

Forget it Nate, it’s Canada.

 

[crazychemgirl]

That's a very wholesome question, given the other items in the list.

I would imagine it is those electric scooters you see at some grocery stores.

This … the electric scooters that grocery stores provide for people … this one was at QVC … I think.

 

[__Nathan1968]

Forget it Nate, it’s Canada.

A short story, untranslated from the original Canadian dialect:

I was at Canadian Tire picking up some essentials. After using the washroom, I grabbed a shopping scooter and loaded it with a bag of milk, some All Dressed Lays, and a case of Kraft Dinner. I paid with a fistful of loonies and twonies. It’s all I could afford after paying my hydro bill. The drive home was uneventful, meaning I dodged 2 moose, 3 beavers, and a porcupine. Turning into my laneway my headlights shone on the driving shed reminding me that I needed to clean out the eavestroughs before they sprouted a whole bush of maple trees.

The end.

 

[__Nathan1968]

This … the electric scooters that grocery stores provide for people … this one was at QVC … I think.

In my defense, I thought this was a Canadian colloquialism for shopping cart.