Zucchini

[EmilyMiller]

Must have been done before, and I’m sleep-deprived, but…

—

Mm, I didn't wanna leave you

I didn't wanna lie

Started to cry, but then remembered I

I can buy a zucchini

Pick out a big one

Thrust it deeply inside me

Babe I so wanna cum

I can get myself creamy

With just a rub of my hand

I can fuck me better than

You can

 

[samhasstories]

Wow. I have sudden irresistible desire to go shopping for fresh produce.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Is that meant to be a song parody?

I recall a story back in the days of paper, I think by Pat Califia, where two lesbians were stranded in a state where sex shops were illegal, so after some days end up in the produce section of Walmart discussing the merits of carrots vs cucumbers vs courgettes.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Is that meant to be a song parody?

I recall a story back in the days of paper, I think by Pat Califia, where two lesbians were stranded in a state where sex shops were illegal, so after some days end up in the produce section of Walmart discussing the merits of carrots vs cucumbers vs courgettes.

 

[TheRedChamber]

I recall a story back in the days of paper, I think by Pat Califia, where two lesbians were stranded in a state where sex shops were illegal, so after some days end up in the produce section of Walmart discussing the merits of carrots vs cucumbers vs courgettes.

Well don't leave us hanging - which did they eventually go for?

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Well don't leave us hanging - which did they eventually go for?

Embrace the power of 'and'...
There was accidental forgetting that opening the drapes in a motel exposes one to everyone in the parking lot, too.

 

[TheRedChamber]

So after some days end up in the produce section of Walmart discussing the merits of carrots vs cucumbers vs courgettes.

Embrace the power of 'and'...

So, if they were going to buy all three anyway why have the extended discussion in Walmart?
Luckily there wasn't a man in the group, he'd have been tearing his hair out.

 

[EmilyMiller]

An ode to eggplant:


In gardens where the large eggplants grow,
Beneath the sun's warm, golden glow,
There lies a love, deep and profound.
In purple hues, such passion is found.

With skin so sleek, a glossy sheen,
The finest vegetable ever see.
Each one I pick, with tender care,
A love like this is rare, beyond compare.

As I bury it inside of me, their magic unfolds,
No resistance from me, it glides past my folds,
Far bigger and smoother than any man,
Brings joy to the heart, and a pleasure no other can.

So here's to the eggplant, large and true,
As it fucks me, my body begins to subdue,
With every thrust, my pussy begins to ache,
A deep, overwhelming orgasm begins to quake.

I’m just thinking of the size of egg plants I cooked the day before yesterday. Impromptu episiotomy is all I’m saying

Emily

 

[joy_of_cooking]

Mm, I didn't wanna leave you

I didn't wanna lie

Started to cry, but then remembered I

I can buy a zucchini

Feel like it's better to end here and leave the rest to the reader's own imagination.

 

[Bazzle]

ITS A COURGETTE

The old colonies never learn.

 

[EmilyMiller]

ITS A COURGETTE

The old colonies never learn.

Wouldn’t rhyme…

And obviously just Italian vs French

Emily

 

[SimonDoom]

I was trying to think of the equivalent for men. How about this:

I can buy myself bagels
spread all over with jam
Babe I can get myself off better
Than you can.

 

[EmilyMiller]

I was trying to think of the equivalent for men. How about this:

I can buy myself bagels
spread all over with jam
Babe I can get myself off better
Than you can.

That sounds - eew!

 

[countdowntolov3]

unreachable itch
from those microscopic hairs
best use a condom​

 

[KeithD]

Sure, I used a zucchini recently in a story, including a long, suggestive dialogue between a guy and the produce man in a grocery store that led to a hookup.

 

[EmilyMiller]

If anyone is able to engineer zucchini or egg plant to vibrate...my PMs are open for that

It would turn to mush I think, or is that the user?

Emily

 

[EmilyMiller]

I wonder if pH balance would affect this as well? Certainly the plants could handle a little bit of liquid...

You could hollow one out and insert a vibe mechanism. Not sure how good the plant tissue would be at propagating the vibrations. Sometimes you just need a toy…

 

[Jackie.Hikaru]

call me vanilla but these days I'm perfectly happy with silicone/stainless steel based products.

 

[EmilyMiller]

call me vanilla but these days I'm perfectly happy with silicone/stainless steel based products.

I’ve never been brave enough to pack anything when flying…

 

[EmilyMiller]

I have always wondered what TSA thinks when they look at my bag. Is it horror? Amazement? A mix of both perhaps?

Really? I just can’t bring myself to pack anything like that. Have you ever had any comments?

Emily

 

[EmilyMiller]

Every time. Never a comment but without question I have gotten very interesting looks. I am always nervous they are going to have to open my bag but something about that excites me

Yeah - this is my lack of E/V coming into play. I’d want the ground to open up and swallow me.

Emily

 

[Wonderer67]

Must have been done before, and I’m sleep-deprived, but…

—

Mm, I didn't wanna leave you

I didn't wanna lie

Started to cry, but then remembered I

I can buy a zucchini

Pick out a big one

Thrust it deeply inside me

Babe I so wanna cum

I can get myself creamy

With just a rub of my hand

I can fuck me better than

You can

You should cum by our farm Emily. We have taken several blue ribbons for the largest zucchini in Hunterdon county.

I couldn’t find the zucchini but here’s a crook deck squash. Bent for a woman’s pleasure.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1768672202252300388

 

[EmilyMiller]

You should cum by our farm Emily. We have taken several blue ribbons for the largest zucchini in Hunterdon county.

I couldn’t find the zucchini but here’s a crook deck squash. Bent for a woman’s pleasure.

https://twitter.com/x/status/1768672202252300388

O-M-F-G!!!!!!!

We liked your Xmas train ride BTW (such big kids, I know )

Emily

 

[lil_jenni]

Is that meant to be a song parody?

I recall a story back in the days of paper, I think by Pat Califia, where two lesbians were stranded in a state where sex shops were illegal, so after some days end up in the produce section of Walmart discussing the merits of carrots vs cucumbers vs courgettes.

Maybe I'm strange, but when I'm with a woman, I'm not into using phallic objects or having them used in me. Fingers? Sure. Well placed knees/thighs? Bring it on. Tongues? Oh fuck yes! But if I want something dick shaped inside me when I'm with another person, I'd rather it be an actual dick attached to a guy.

Now, on my own can be a different story.

 

[EmilyMiller]

Maybe I'm strange, but when I'm with a woman, I'm not into using phallic objects or having them used in me. Fingers? Sure. Well placed knees/thighs? Bring it on. Tongues? Oh fuck yes! But if I want something dick shaped inside me when I'm with another person, I'd rather it be an actual dick attached to a guy.

Now, on my own can be a different story.

Strap-ons can be a lot of fun though. Depends on the vibe. Come to think of it, I’ve only used strap-ons when restrained. Nothing much better than mutual cunnilingus most of the time.

Emily