Sex & Shenanigans

[Dirt_in_the_Ground]

You’re a fascinating human. I’m in awe of the things in your head. And a little concerned

I am merely as God made me, my dear woman. Or whatever.

 

[LupineOne]

You’re a fascinating human. I’m in awe of the things in your head. And a little concerned

At least it was a comedy, not a documentary

 

[MedicalMuse]

Listen, when I get too many dick pics I respond with vaginas with teeth. It immediately makes the unsolicited dick portrait senders rethink their strategy, at least with me.

 

[MedicalMuse]

I am merely as mitosis made me, my dear woman. Or whatever.

Fixed it.

 

[LupineOne]

Listen, when I get too many dick pics I respond with vaginas with teeth. It immediately makes the unsolicited dick portrait senders rethink their strategy, at least with me.

I like you

 

[Bry1313]

Listen, when I get too many dick pics I respond with vaginas with teeth. It immediately makes the unsolicited dick portrait senders rethink their strategy, at least with me.

Ok, I understand things better now

 

[Dirt_in_the_Ground]

Fixed it.

Thanks! I just lazily revert to "God" when I can't recall big scientific words to blame things on.

 

[Bry1313]

Thanks! I just lazily revert to "God" when I can't recall big scientific words to blame things on.

Which god?

 

[Bbl87]

Morning peeps. Anyone finishing out this glorious weekend with something fun?

Only if you count "voluntary" overtime that isn't truly voluntary as fun. It'll make tomorrow easier. I did call getting alot of domestic battery arrests over the weekend, tis the season.

I’m ACLS certified.

I think my heart just had a little murmur. Do you make interstate house calls?

Listen, when I get too many dick pics I respond with vaginas with teeth. It immediately makes the unsolicited dick portrait senders rethink their strategy, at least with me.

Duely noted. Pay attention to my dick pic quota to prevent vagina dentata.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Only if you count "voluntary" overtime that isn't truly voluntary as fun. It'll make tomorrow easier. I did call getting alot of domestic battery arrests over the weekend, tis the season.

Ugh
Why can’t people just not suck?

I think my heart just had a little murmur. Do you make interstate house calls?

You’re hours away. I think maybe the rescue squad might be more appropriate

Duely noted. Pay attention to my dick pic quota to prevent vagina dentata.

See! He gets it!

 

[MedicalMuse]

Thanks! I just lazily revert to "God" when I can't recall big scientific words to blame things on.

Anytime

 

[Bbl87]

You’re hours away. I think maybe the rescue squad might be more appropriate

Eh, I'll risk it. YOLO.

 

[Dirt_in_the_Ground]

Which god?

Take your pick. But I would avoid the jealous ones.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Take your pick. But I would avoid the jealous ones.

Jealousy is such a turn off.

 

[Bry1313]

Take your pick. But I would avoid the jealous ones.

Ok, Western gods are out, I’ll go with Aphrodite then. Seems more fun.

 

[Wand3rlust]

The god of hellfire?

 

[Dirt_in_the_Ground]

Jealousy is such a turn off.

Yeah. You can kinda deal with it for a little while with a bf or gf if the sex is still good and you secure your devices, but it's a total deal-killer with an omniscient being who's always watching you.

 

[Deleted member 6568729]

You take her, I'll take the Doctor!

 

[MedicalMuse]

Yeah. You can kinda deal with it for a little while with a bf or gf if the sex is still good and you secure your devices, but it's a total deal-killer with an omniscient being who's always watching you.

True that.

I would t mind if they only got to watch when I’m in the shower.

 

[LupineOne]

Eh, I'll risk it. YOLO.

See? He gets it. I’d risk it too

 

[Dirt_in_the_Ground]

True that.

I would t mind if they only got to watch when I’m in the shower.

Oh, I'm sure it would make the angels weep tears of joy. But me in the shower? I'm pretty sure I look like I'm committing a violent felony.

 

[MedicalMuse]

Oh, I'm sure it would make the angels weep tears of joy. But me in the shower? I'm pretty sure I look like I'm committing a violent felony.

Set up a camera. I’ll watch and give my expert opinion

 

[Dirt_in_the_Ground]

Set up a camera. I’ll watch and give my expert opinion

But then I'd have to scour the tub and it would turn into my whole afternoon. Hell, I've already lost my erection just thinking about the smell of Tilex.

 

[MedicalMuse]

But then I'd have to scour the tub and it would turn into my whole afternoon. Hell, I've already lost my erection just thinking about the smell of Tilex.

You assume I’ll be looking at your shower

 

[Dirt_in_the_Ground]

You assume I’ll be looking at your shower

Oh, please! I'm a straight man living without womanly supervision, but even I know how background clues create a narrative around a dick pic! Now give me a few days to acquire a puppy.