What made you laugh today?

My son acting like a birthday has made him incredibly "adult"

My son: What advice do you have for me now that I'm an adult?

My mom: Act like one.


🤣🤣🤷‍♀️

My son: Why didn't you remind me blah blah blah?

Me: Because you're an adult now.

My son: Yeah, this is harder than I thought.

Me: It's only been 6 hours.
 
Reading this FB answer

"Anything with suckers and tentacles"

and thinking it said testicles. The funniest part was how I just went along with it.

Lit has corrupted me! 😁
I had a similar experience on FB recently, and actually went to get my eyes examined. Turned out I could still ogle my optometrist's assistant's butt without an adjustment to my prescription. I'm just a pervert! 🤓
 
I completely forgot that I had only gotten as far as filling in my eyebrows for my makeup today before I had to stop and attend a long ass meeting. My camera was off so afterwards, when I went into the bathroom and saw my face in the mirror my Groucho Marx brows scared the shit out of me for a second 🤣😂
 
I was working out of a boom lift today kinda like the one on the picture. I have to wear a fall protection harness, and a couple coworkers walked up while I was getting ready to go up. I pulled the leg straps tight and explained how important it was to make sure the harness was fitted correctly.

One coworker proceeded to start lecturing me about how I should keep a harness for myself so I don't have to use one of the shop harnesses and constantly need to tighten the leg straps. The OTHER coworker looked and said "Dude, he was just trying to get you to look at his dick" which was true! Coworker #1 turned bright purple and realized he'd been had. They said they could hear me laughing in the shop 100 yards away.
 

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Watching YouTube videos of people "dealing" with eco-protesters doing their impersonations of babies in the middle of the street.
 
Dad jokes delivered with a deadpan delivery from a workmate. I wasn’t even giving courtesy laughs, they were genuine belly laughs…
 
Subject: Fw: Letter to Wife
To My Dear Wife,

You will surely understand that I have certain needs that you, being 54 years old, can no longer satisfy. I am very happy with you, and I value you as a good wife. Therefore, after reading this letter I hope you will not wrongly interpret the fact that I will be spending the evening with my 18-year-old secretary at the Comfort Inn Hotel. Please don't be upset - I shall return home before midnight.

When the man came home late that night he found the following letter on the dining room table:
To My Dear Husband,
I received your letter and thank you for your honesty about my being 54 years old. I would like to take this opportunity to remind you that you are also 54 years old. As you know, I am a math teacher at our local college. I would like to inform you that while you're at the Comfort Inn, I will be at The Hotel Fiesta with Michael, one of my students, who is also the assistant tennis coach. He is young, virile, and like your secretary, he is 18 years old. As a successful businessman with an excellent knowledge of math, you will understand that we are in the same situation, although with one small difference:
18 goes into 54 a lot more times than 54 goes into 18.
Therefore, I will not be home until sometime tomorrow.
 
My coworker telling very gently that our boss didn't reply because I forgot to CC her like I said I was in the email. :rolleyes: 😂 🤦‍♀️
 
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