Wife lied through omission

Ciceri

Whipping Boy
Joined
Dec 5, 2012
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I recently ran into the ex-husband of my wife's old friend. That couple had an ugly divorce and were no longer on speaking terms. He asked if I was still married and I said Yes. He sort of shook his head and I asked what was wrong. He said he was surprised so I pressed him some more. "Kara fucked like three guys during her bachelorette party." I couldn't believe it. "Yeah, and she did the same thing at Jen's party a year before that." I told him he was mistaken. No way. Not a chance. I left the bar soon after but Rob's words stayed with me. He was not lying. He had nothing to gain by telling me this stuff. Now I'm suspicious of Kara. Is this a regular thing? Has she fucked anyone else since our wedding day? Do I swallow this info or confront her?
 
I recently ran into the ex-husband of my wife's old friend. That couple had an ugly divorce and were no longer on speaking terms. He asked if I was still married and I said Yes. He sort of shook his head and I asked what was wrong. He said he was surprised so I pressed him some more. "Kara fucked like three guys during her bachelorette party." I couldn't believe it. "Yeah, and she did the same thing at Jen's party a year before that." I told him he was mistaken. No way. Not a chance. I left the bar soon after but Rob's words stayed with me. He was not lying. He had nothing to gain by telling me this stuff. Now I'm suspicious of Kara. Is this a regular thing? Has she fucked anyone else since our wedding day? Do I swallow this info or confront her?
Dose it turn you on knowing that your wife. Has being fucking other men. If so definitely ask.
 
If she comes clean then there's nothing more to say. I just want her to be honest. She's sexy and guys still flirt with her. That's fine. I don't mind at all
I think that you will have to ask her. If you want an answer
 
So she did this before you were married? She’d been faithful ever since? Maybe it was a last fling…maybe you should just let the past stay in the past…

Not sure bringing out any dirty laundry at this point is going to help you. Unless of course you just want your heart ripped out? If this is a turn on then proceed with caution.

Good luck..
 
Dude!

Up until the point when she married you she doesn't owe you a damned thing.
Truth or Lie.

Well...NOW you are wondering what or to whom you married.

Welcome to the party JACK!

It will take you a lifetime to "Grok" that situation.

Also some people just like to start shit between couples...Got THAT tee shirt!

If she does have a hidden slutty side..think about it for awhile.

It is a question of mind over matter.

If you don't mind it doesn't really matter what other people say.
 
My wife dated other guys in college, and for years she told me all about their relationships, including them getting her naked and fingering her. She never mentioned fucking. Then one night when we were having sex about five years after we married, I asked her if she fucked those guys. She said, "Not all of them." That led to a gradual telling about all the sex she had in college. I'm glad i waited, but I am also glad I asked. Sshe was relieved that the secret was finally out and that i was okay with it.
 
My wife dated other guys in college, and for years she told me all about their relationships, including them getting her naked and fingering her. She never mentioned fucking. Then one night when we were having sex about five years after we married, I asked her if she fucked those guys. She said, "Not all of them." That led to a gradual telling about all the sex she had in college. I'm glad i waited, but I am also glad I asked. Sshe was relieved that the secret was finally out and that i was okay with it.
We have separate vacations every year and that's really the only time she's not with me. Rob isn't the type to exaggerate so I believe him. She had sex with several men in one evening so that's a little different than making out with a stranger. And it happened the year before that. If she told me that's her thing I would accept it. I might even want to watch. But the hurt from the lie is something that lingers
 
Had a girl cheat on me early on. That stuck with me for a long time.

My wife has never strayed, but that worry was there for a long time because of my past. If she ever wanted to fuck someone else, as long as she asked my permission, I'd be perfectly OK with it. I've told her this, but she has no interest.

So, I understand worrying about the lying part. Sex is just sex, love is love, but deceit is deceit.
 
I'm probably gonna come off as a prude as first but if you were in a committed relationship, even before you were married, then she cheated obviously. "But you don't own her." True but a man who cheats on his fiance is also a cheater. This isn't a misogyny thing. If you both had an understanding that you were monogamous, then cheating is wrong, doesn't matter if you were married yet or not.

But, frankly I'd find it pretty hot. I am fully on board with the idea of open relationships. I don't like the lying or omission part of it, but sleeping with 3 guys I'd find to be very hot.
 
I recently ran into the ex-husband of my wife's old friend. That couple had an ugly divorce and were no longer on speaking terms. He asked if I was still married and I said Yes. He sort of shook his head and I asked what was wrong. He said he was surprised so I pressed him some more. "Kara fucked like three guys during her bachelorette party." I couldn't believe it. "Yeah, and she did the same thing at Jen's party a year before that." I told him he was mistaken. No way. Not a chance. I left the bar soon after but Rob's words stayed with me. He was not lying. He had nothing to gain by telling me this stuff. Now I'm suspicious of Kara. Is this a regular thing? Has she fucked anyone else since our wedding day? Do I swallow this info or confront her?

You need to find proof. One way or another. Do you have access to her phone? If she's changed her password and you don't know it, that's a dead giveaway something is amiss. If you don't have access to her phone, do you have access to phone records through your plan? How far are you willing to go to get answers?
 
How long ago was this bachelorette party?

How long were you engaged?

I'm not really making points, just asking.
 
Shit happens at bachelor and bachelorette parties. What's your concern? Is her pussy now tainted, even though you apparently have enjoyed that pussy since you have been married?
 
I recently ran into the ex-husband of my wife's old friend. That couple had an ugly divorce and were no longer on speaking terms. He asked if I was still married and I said Yes. He sort of shook his head and I asked what was wrong. He said he was surprised so I pressed him some more. "Kara fucked like three guys during her bachelorette party." I couldn't believe it. "Yeah, and she did the same thing at Jen's party a year before that." I told him he was mistaken. No way. Not a chance. I left the bar soon after but Rob's words stayed with me. He was not lying. He had nothing to gain by telling me this stuff. Now I'm suspicious of Kara. Is this a regular thing? Has she fucked anyone else since our wedding day? Do I swallow this info or confront her?
The truth is always the best, but on one condition. And that is that you’re prepared to handle the truth. Meaning that if she is honest that you’re prepared to listen and not judge all she shares everything. And then you need to be prepared that you may have to leave her, get counseling, or completely embrace her true self. That’s my personal opinion and not that of a trained therapist.

Wish you well, I hope you get your answers and that in the end you have an even better marriage.
 
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The truth is always the best, but on one condition. And that is that you’re prepared to handle the truth. Meaning that if she is honest that you’re prepared to listen and not judge yll she shares everything. And then you need to be prepared that you may have to leave her, her counseling, or completely embrace her true self. That’s my personal opinion and not that of a trained therapist.

Wish you well, I hope you get your answers and that in the end you have an even better marriage.
Before we separated, we betrayed each other. I knew more than I could handle and didn't want to know more. He wanted details. Wanted pictures, audio, day by day details

After sharing the first few things, and facing his judgments, I stopped being truthful. And I refused any more information. He wouldn't admit it, but his emotions were worse the more he knew.
 
What does it matter, some 15 years later? She ultimately chose you, so let it go.

I had the same thing with an aunt who told me my grandfather once cheated on my grandmother many years before. For days I wondered, my respect for my grandfather waning, and then my wife said, "how do you know it's true? people lie about the stupidest of things". I realized she was right and never thought anything else of it.
 
Before we separated, we betrayed each other. I knew more than I could handle and didn't want to know more. He wanted details. Wanted pictures, audio, day by day details

After sharing the first few things, and facing his judgments, I stopped being truthful. And I refused any more information. He wouldn't admit it, but his emotions were worse the more he knew.
I’m so sorry
 
why not just ask her? Not with a mad tone, just say that your friend is telling stories about a certain bachelorette party, I think you went to that, what did happen? Just be curious
 
I'm sorry you are upset but this sounds spiteful. Why did he just come out and tell you so many years later? Just doesn't sound like a normal conversation between acquaintances. Misery loves company.
Please don't live with this news as fact without giving your wife the opportunity to tell her side. It's a telephone game at this point. Good luck.
 
I recently ran into the ex-husband of my wife's old friend. That couple had an ugly divorce and were no longer on speaking terms. He asked if I was still married and I said Yes. He sort of shook his head and I asked what was wrong. He said he was surprised so I pressed him some more. "Kara fucked like three guys during her bachelorette party." I couldn't believe it. "Yeah, and she did the same thing at Jen's party a year before that." I told him he was mistaken. No way. Not a chance. I left the bar soon after but Rob's words stayed with me. He was not lying. He had nothing to gain by telling me this stuff. Now I'm suspicious of Kara. Is this a regular thing? Has she fucked anyone else since our wedding day? Do I swallow this info or confront her?
Don’t ask it didn’t bother you before so it shouldn’t bother you now otherwise you might end up like the guy you talked to 🤔
 
I recently ran into the ex-husband of my wife's old friend. That couple had an ugly divorce and were no longer on speaking terms. He asked if I was still married and I said Yes. He sort of shook his head and I asked what was wrong. He said he was surprised so I pressed him some more. "Kara fucked like three guys during her bachelorette party." I couldn't believe it. "Yeah, and she did the same thing at Jen's party a year before that." I told him he was mistaken. No way. Not a chance. I left the bar soon after but Rob's words stayed with me. He was not lying. He had nothing to gain by telling me this stuff. Now I'm suspicious of Kara. Is this a regular thing? Has she fucked anyone else since our wedding day? Do I swallow this info or confront her?
I am no expert on relationships, from my observations people make mistakes, if you love her then let it go. If you can handle the truth I suggest you then tell her what you have learned from your friend, but make sure she does not feel threatened or uncomfortable. Remember to forgive is the most powerful thing you can do for you both, as she may be living with this as well.
 
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