Sex & Shenanigans

So...I had to get some sleep. When I got up, I emerged blearily from the bedroom. My daughter had made herself one of those microwaveable personal pizzas. And she was dipping the slices into a little bowl of ranch dressing, as we both have done for years. I had to turn around and go right back to bed. :oops:

Look, I have always liked ranch dressing. I'm sure I will eat more of it. I'll just never be able to do it without shaking my head the whole time.
 
So...I had to get some sleep. When I got up, I emerged blearily from the bedroom. My daughter had made herself one of those microwaveable personal pizzas. And she was dipping the slices into a little bowl of ranch dressing, as we both have done for years. I had to turn around and go right back to bed. :oops:

Look, I have always liked ranch dressing. I'm sure I will eat more of it. I'll just never be able to do it without shaking my head the whole time.
I doubt I will ever dip anything in ranch without thinking of @crazychemgirl and you wonderful band of pervs again 😁🥰
 
Ever notice how when a food gets sexualized, it messes it up for you?
All those times rappers compare women's body parts to candy like Tootsie Rolls and Laffy Taffy.
I certainly had Jason Alexander as Costanza in my head for a long stretch of the afternoon's shenanigans. Staring at his sandwich in horror as he realizes he's getting aroused by it...
 
But would you really have to ask? I think he’d volunteer :D

I'm like 3 pages late, but just came back to see I was quoted. 🤣 You must not have been around for my whole, I'll never send it unless I'm asked standoff with OP. It was a thing. 🤣

I SUCK at edging
Edging is half the fun for me. I definitely prefer to edge for an hour or two if I get the opportunity. So much more rewarding, and also a better show if that is a consideration. 🤣 I've edged for a couple days before, not continously obviously, but if you want a realy payoff, woof.
 
But like…how big is Johnnys secret? 👀
From the story:

"How big is this thing, anyway?" he muttered.

Impulsively, he stepped over toward his desk and snatched the plastic ruler from the little carousel that held his pens and pencils. He held out his pulsing boner and lowered the ruler on top of it, pressing one end of the ruler to the juncture of his dick and his groin. The thick shaft was about twice the thickness of the ruler, and the flared head of his cock was obviously much wider.

His eyes shot open in disbelief when he saw that the other end of the ruler didn't even reach the end of his dick! More than half of the fat, pulsating mushroom head extended past the end of the ruler, and he shook his head again.

"A foot long and then some," he breathed.

He was not amused.
 
From the story:

"How big is this thing, anyway?" he muttered.

Impulsively, he stepped over toward his desk and snatched the plastic ruler from the little carousel that held his pens and pencils. He held out his pulsing boner and lowered the ruler on top of it, pressing one end of the ruler to the juncture of his dick and his groin. The thick shaft was about twice the thickness of the ruler, and the flared head of his cock was obviously much wider.

His eyes shot open in disbelief when he saw that the other end of the ruler didn't even reach the end of his dick! More than half of the fat, pulsating mushroom head extended past the end of the ruler, and he shook his head again.

"A foot long and then some," he breathed.

He was not amused.
I mean I’m gonna read it out of curiosity but…
 
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