Follow along with the video below to see how to install our site as a web app on your home screen.
Note: This feature may not be available in some browsers.
Awwww thank youYou’re the best![]()
I doubt I will ever dip anything in ranch without thinking of @crazychemgirl and you wonderful band of pervs againSo...I had to get some sleep. When I got up, I emerged blearily from the bedroom. My daughter had made herself one of those microwaveable personal pizzas. And she was dipping the slices into a little bowl of ranch dressing, as we both have done for years. I had to turn around and go right back to bed.
Look, I have always liked ranch dressing. I'm sure I will eat more of it. I'll just never be able to do it without shaking my head the whole time.
Oh, I'm gonna finish.....Mmm.. Don’t judge me from two months ago
Depends entirely on how I’m being teased but I mean, if you’re gonna go 99% off the way, why not just finish![]()
Or milkshakes and boys in my yard..Ever notice how when a food gets sexualized, it messes it up for you?
All those times rappers compare women's body parts to candy like Tootsie Rolls and Laffy Taffy.
Ranch isn’t messed up for me…for a while it’s going to make me outright chuckle, and after that, smile.Ever notice how when a food gets sexualized, it messes it up for you?
All those times rappers compare women's body parts to candy like Tootsie Rolls and Laffy Taffy.
same here. I'll give it a little smile and chuckle and someone will probably ask what it is... I'll just shake my head and say "nothin'"Ranch isn’t messed up for me…for a while it’s going to make me outright chuckle, and after that, smile.
Now everytime I make it at work people are going to look at me funny..Ranch isn’t messed up for me…for a while it’s going to make me outright chuckle, and after that, smile.
I certainly had Jason Alexander as Costanza in my head for a long stretch of the afternoon's shenanigans. Staring at his sandwich in horror as he realizes he's getting aroused by it...Ever notice how when a food gets sexualized, it messes it up for you?
All those times rappers compare women's body parts to candy like Tootsie Rolls and Laffy Taffy.
This is my favorite part of the internet todayDon’t lie… you were signed on before I even posted.
You were signed on before man went to the moon.
You were signed on before they signed the Declaration of Independence
You were signed on before Jesus died on the cross
You were signed on before the Big Bang
Ok I’m done
But like…how big is Johnnys secret?Oh, damn. Gotta do my "humblebrag" thing again.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1139312686958657627/1140848951650684969/Humblebrag1.png
Not sure its a secret anymore....But like…how big is Johnnys secret?![]()
But would you really have to ask? I think he’d volunteer![]()
Edging is half the fun for me. I definitely prefer to edge for an hour or two if I get the opportunity. So much more rewarding, and also a better show if that is a consideration.I SUCK at edging
Just link it if you want us to read it. Some of us are too lazy to search.Oh, damn. Gotta do my "humblebrag" thing again.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1139312686958657627/1140848951650684969/Humblebrag1.png
I like how you posted as i posted my comment. Its like you had a 6th sense someone was talking about a big dick.Hardy har har har.
It is kind of ironic.I like how you posted as i posted my comment. Its like you had a 6th sense someone was talking about a big dick.
Numero uno babe!!!Oh, damn. Gotta do my "humblebrag" thing again.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1139312686958657627/1140848951650684969/Humblebrag1.png
Seriously though….Tell me when to stopOh, damn. Gotta do my "humblebrag" thing again.
https://cdn.discordapp.com/attachments/1139312686958657627/1140848951650684969/Humblebrag1.png
From the story:But like…how big is Johnnys secret?![]()
I mean I’m gonna read it out of curiosity but…From the story:
"How big is this thing, anyway?" he muttered.
Impulsively, he stepped over toward his desk and snatched the plastic ruler from the little carousel that held his pens and pencils. He held out his pulsing boner and lowered the ruler on top of it, pressing one end of the ruler to the juncture of his dick and his groin. The thick shaft was about twice the thickness of the ruler, and the flared head of his cock was obviously much wider.
His eyes shot open in disbelief when he saw that the other end of the ruler didn't even reach the end of his dick! More than half of the fat, pulsating mushroom head extended past the end of the ruler, and he shook his head again.
"A foot long and then some," he breathed.
He was not amused.