Sex & Shenanigans

[MrsPassion]

Nope. We were enjoying our charcuterie and alcohol, then our youngest woke up. Adorable little cock block.

I know you’re supposed to love them and all that, but they have the worst timing

 

[Deleted member 6592667]

Mmhmm… working on my baby girl application

Ah yes, like all good relationships there's an application process

 

[Bbl87]

I know you’re supposed to love them and all that, but they have the worst timing

100%. I love them to death, but there's a reason I call them crotch goblins sometimes. Or crotchfruit. Like, deal wasn't sealed or anything, but damnit.

 

[MrsPassion]

Ah yes, like all good relationships there's an application process

And it’s very thorough
Question 37: “How many marbles can you fit in any orifice?”

 

[MrsPassion]

100%. I love them to death, but there's a reason I call them crotch goblins sometimes. Or crotchfruit. Like, deal wasn't sealed or anything, but damnit.

Quickies we’re never a part of my reality until parenthood lol

 

[Bbl87]

Quickies we’re never a part of my reality until parenthood lol

Quickies have never been part of our reality. For reasons.

 

[MrsPassion]

Quickies have never been part of our reality. For reasons.

Lol I won’t ask but I’m curious. Maybe the small human will go back to sleep and you two can multitask. Enjoy the charcuterie and each other

 

[Bbl87]

Lol I won’t ask but I’m curious. Maybe the small human will go back to sleep and you two can multitask. Enjoy the charcuterie and each other

Haha, just alot of foreplay necessary for things to not be painful. Because of the topic of conversation around here a day or two ago.

 

[MrsPassion]

Haha, just alot of foreplay necessary for things to not be painful. Because of the topic of conversation around here a day or two ago.

Oh, you mean your giant Thor Hammer of a dick?

 

[Bbl87]

Oh, you mean your giant Thor Hammer of a dick?

I mean, when you put it that way.

 

[MrsPassion]

I mean, when you put it that way.

What would you call it then?

The Cleaver?
The Splitter of Humans?
…Shaq?

 

[Bbl87]

What would you call it then?

The Cleaver?
The Splitter of Humans?
…Shaq?

That's a good question, it never has gotten a nickname.

 

[MrsPassion]

That's a good question, it never has gotten a nickname.

I vote Shaq. If only because he is a very large man who had the audacity to fit himself into a sedan for a car commercial. Seems fitting

 

[Bbl87]

I vote Shaq. If only because he is a very large man who had the audacity to fit himself into a sedan for a car commercial. Seems fitting

True, but unlike Shaq, my man can shoot.

 

[MrsPassion]

True, but unlike Shaq, my man can shoot.

Fucking hell

 

[PlanetaryNebula]

Every cowboy strives for 7…

Oh wait. That’s 7 seconds. Damn.

I thought it was 8 seconds.

 

[Bbl87]

Fucking hell

I mean, if you don't believe me...

 

[MrsPassion]

I mean, if you don't believe me...

oh gee…look at the time. I should really get some sleep

But in all honesty; I’m going to bed. G’Night

 

[Bbl87]

oh gee…look at the time. I should really get some sleep

But in all honesty; I’m going to bed. G’Night

Haha, good night. Sleep well.

 

[RosewoodTulip]

New favourite thing is to skip straight to the last page or two here after I wake up and try and guess what's been going on

See we've circled back to Bubbles's salami again

(just trying it out as a nickname for you @Bbl87 )

 

[MedicalMuse]

Bubbles

 

[LupineOne]

Bubbles

 

[Dubinsky]

New favourite thing is to skip straight to the last page or two here after I wake up and try and guess what's been going on

I do a lot of that.

Good morning!

 

[Bry1313]

Good morning pervs!

 

[Bry1313]

New favourite thing is to skip straight to the last page or two here after I wake up and try and guess what's been going on

See we've circled back to Bubbles's salami again

(just trying it out as a nickname for you @Bbl87 )

It works, and skipping to the end is an adventure