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The funniest AH dweller

MillieDynamite said:
Henry: Get the fuck out of here, Tommy!

Tommy: Ya motherfucker! I almost had him, I almost had him. Ya stuttering prick ya. Frankie, was he shaking? I wonder about you sometimes, Henry. You may fold under questioning.
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He was pretty awesome in Casino too. "I lost control? Look at you, you're fucking walking around like John Barrymore! A fucking pink robe and a fucking cigarette holder? I lost control?"
 
So, who here has actually won a Readers Choice award for best Humor story?

Hmmmmmmmm?
 
Euphony said:
I fear how much tradgedy and time she experienced to earn it. 😬
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I feel a little nervous to share all this personal stuff but here we go.

I'm 44 and almost all the "tragedy" is self-inflicted nonsense due to me being an infantile doofus who had a bad habit of falling in love with people I really shouldn't have. And I'm not sure that rates as tragedy. It's more bone-headedness.

I still have two parents who love me, even though (to be honest) neither of them understand me at all. I had everything I needed while growing up, if not very much of what I might have wanted, and probably came out better for it. I had no childhood traumas, no abuse, no lack of love and affection from those around me.

My life is actually remarkable for how non-traumatic it is and has been. Fully a quarter of the other girls I know suffered sexual abuse before the age of fifteen. Others lived through the horrors of divorce, death, teenage pregnancy - often more than one at a time. Statistically at least one of my classmates from school has been killed by her husband or lover. Probably more, given the country I grew up in.

I have, somehow, made it to where I am now almost entirely unscathed by others.

Not so much myself - there are at least two occasions where I should have died and somehow didn't - once at age 2 in a pool and the second time at age 12 on a hike when I got briefly caught in undertow and was nearly swept out to sea.

I'm extremely appreciative of how privileged I am. So I read a lot, and internalise a lot, and try to be thoughtful and kind when I can. I guess I find it easy to put myself in other people's shoes - sometimes anyway.

The humour is just the fact that I love laughing at my own puns. That and I'm not actually a person; I'm two lemurs and an emperor penguin in a frock.
 
Tilan said:
All normal people are alike in their seriousness. Each of the dozen active members here is funny in their own tragic way.
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In the last couple of years I've accepted that I was never truly normal and that I will never be. But that's okay. I can partially thank Lit for that.
 
onehitwanda said:
I feel a little nervous to share all this personal stuff but here we go.

I'm 44 and almost all the "tragedy" is self-inflicted nonsense due to me being an infantile doofus who had a bad habit of falling in love with people I really shouldn't have. And I'm not sure that rates as tragedy. It's more bone-headedness.

I still have two parents who love me, even though (to be honest) neither of them understand me at all. I had everything I needed while growing up, if not very much of what I might have wanted, and probably came out better for it. I had no childhood traumas, no abuse, no lack of love and affection from those around me.

My life is actually remarkable for how non-traumatic it is and has been. Fully a quarter of the other girls I know suffered sexual abuse before the age of fifteen. Others lived through the horrors of divorce, death, teenage pregnancy - often more than one at a time. Statistically at least one of my classmates from school has been killed by her husband or lover. Probably more, given the country I grew up in.

I have, somehow, made it to where I am now almost entirely unscathed by others.

Not so much myself - there are at least two occasions where I should have died and somehow didn't - once at age 2 in a pool and the second time at age 12 on a hike when I got briefly caught in undertow and was nearly swept out to sea.

I'm extremely appreciative of how privileged I am. So I read a lot, and internalise a lot, and try to be thoughtful and kind when I can. I guess I find it easy to put myself in other people's shoes - sometimes anyway.

The humour is just the fact that I love laughing at my own puns. That and I'm not actually a person; I'm two lemurs and an emperor penguin in a frock.
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It's okay, you were nominated but you don't have to justify it or describe your own life. You can briefly thank the Academy later if you win.
 
onehitwanda said:
I feel a little nervous to share all this personal stuff but here we go.

I'm 44 and almost all the "tragedy" is self-inflicted nonsense due to me being an infantile doofus who had a bad habit of falling in love with people I really shouldn't have. And I'm not sure that rates as tragedy. It's more bone-headedness.

I still have two parents who love me, even though (to be honest) neither of them understand me at all. I had everything I needed while growing up, if not very much of what I might have wanted, and probably came out better for it. I had no childhood traumas, no abuse, no lack of love and affection from those around me.

My life is actually remarkable for how non-traumatic it is and has been. Fully a quarter of the other girls I know suffered sexual abuse before the age of fifteen. Others lived through the horrors of divorce, death, teenage pregnancy - often more than one at a time. Statistically at least one of my classmates from school has been killed by her husband or lover. Probably more, given the country I grew up in.

I have, somehow, made it to where I am now almost entirely unscathed by others.

Not so much myself - there are at least two occasions where I should have died and somehow didn't - once at age 2 in a pool and the second time at age 12 on a hike when I got briefly caught in undertow and was nearly swept out to sea.

I'm extremely appreciative of how privileged I am. So I read a lot, and internalise a lot, and try to be thoughtful and kind when I can. I guess I find it easy to put myself in other people's shoes - sometimes anyway.

The humour is just the fact that I love laughing at my own puns. That and I'm not actually a person; I'm two lemurs and an emperor penguin in a frock.
Click to expand...
I find myself in many of the things you mentioned, except that my near-death experiences were about my own driving recklessness as a teenager. I started devouring books at a very early age and now I realize that even then, other than being an early sign of my curiosity, it was also a form of escapism. I just never fit well, even if I was faaaar from being unsocial. I was never satisfied with the same things as most people around me. How many others find reading a recluse from the general suckiness (is this a word?!) of the world?

Btw, you are so killing the vibe with this heart-baring stuff :rolleyes:
 
I'm also going to nominate Djmac1031. Maybe I'm just log-rolling because he seems to like most of my posts. However, just looking at his avatar makes me smile, although I don't know who it's depicting.
 
I am using my exclusive right as a topic starter to nominate a second person. I nominate @Tilan . At least half of his posts contain jabs towards some AH member, but the humor is top-notch ;)
 
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