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Sexless Marriages

drobert44 said:
Mike, I think it's time for an affair.
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I've joined 2 different couple's a few time's over the last 8 year's, the live far away so nothing regular. Pickings closer to me are very slim and there's more men looking than there are women or couple's looking, it is what it is unfortunately.
 
drobert44 said:
You are too young to give up on sex...........bro.
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Thank you but i beginning to think my time in the saddle is coming an end. Do I like it, No but we all have to realize all things come to an end, just some sooner than later.
 
Strixaluco said:
Frankly, it's usually DAMN annoying when a friend tries that, despite it always being clear there won't be anything else than friendship, and can even cost the friendship.
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True, why I don't take the risk. If they bring it up first, I make sure they want this and is not going to ruin the friendship. Has it cost me some sex, yes but most are still friend's.
 
Strixaluco said:
It's not like you'd be able to chat up just any woman. Most of my male friends I'd never fuck, even if we both were single.
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You can tell me I''m full of $H17, but I can almost guarantee 90+% of your male 'friends' have thought about fucking you. And I don't care if they're all 60 to 80+ years old. When visiting in-laws and relatives in nursing homes, the old guys using walkers just to stand up and have breathing tubes up their noses, are checking out the asses of the women there.
 
PornStache75 said:
Anyone else with this problem?
I have a high sex drive and the wife doesn't.
Looking for others with this problem, and possibly helping fill our needs.
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It’s possible she just doesn’t want to be fucked by you, maybe invite another guy to do it and see if there’s a change in her sex drive?
 
kerrblue13 said:
While going through menopause our sex life suffered and was almost nonexistent and then he was diagnosed with Huntington’s Disease. It has completely changed our lives and how we related to one another. There has not been any intimacy or sex for more than 6 years. I’d give anything to have had a few more years, I miss him and our intimacy.

I’m still adjusting to the fact that some things are out of my control and we cannot change them.
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What’s in your control is to find a willing sex partner
 
AnnieLit said:
My experience on Lit so far - about half of man here are in a completely sexless marriages, and another quarter are having regular sex, but not the kind they want.

Me... I guess another victim of the surge. In my late 30s went though a period of a few years when I had to make myself to have sex monthly, not even sure that I was getting to it every month and did not skip few.

Then at 40 things got better. And better. And better some more. I am 47 now, most nights it is ME asking for sex, he is happy just to go to sleep. I absolutely need it! I can live without the orgasms, but I can't without hugs and kisses, and feeling his hands on me.

And then there is kink... At about the same time I was coming back to life, I finally agreed to try some of the things he was asking for years for. That led to other things. Now all of that is part of our sex life. But only the staff that he likes. Things that I like either don't happen at all or I have to ask for them. And after a while asking gets pretty old.

So, mid 40s, not sexless, but often have to ask for any sex and even then it is usually not the kind I really want.

Solution? Unfortunately, not Lit. I played around here for a while, had few "relationships", but words, and voice, and even video chats can get you only so far, at some point you want to have it for real. But with Lit it is rarely possible - distances are too great, marriages on the other end are too strong. So chances to find somebody local are close to none.

For me it looks like solution is FetLife. Did not get to in person part there yet, but at least all connections are local and there it's ok to talk about the expected end result right from the start. We will see how that goes :) Still scary and I know it's unfair, he did wait for me to come back to life after all, but I can't. I don't know how much time of this surge do I have left, menopose is right around the corner, so I can't really afford to wait another 5 years for him to catch up.

Sometimes it feels like I have much more sexual energy and desire now, than i has 30 years ago. Which is crazy, but not something i can control.

Good luck to all of you to find what you are looking for and not wreck your marriages in the process!
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I’ll be your fuckbuddy!
 
RoperTrace said:
You can tell me I''m full of $H17, but I can almost guarantee 90+% of your male 'friends' have thought about fucking you. And I don't care if they're all 60 to 80+ years old. When visiting in-laws and relatives in nursing homes, the old guys using walkers just to stand up and have breathing tubes up their noses, are checking out the asses of the women there.
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I may be confused, but some of these comments..... Mike are you looking for a guy to top you? If that's your thing, I do believe that is shockingly easy to find.

Yep. My mom at 89 does not participate, but in her community there is a large group that she does not associate with because they are 'sexually active' as she calls it. When I have been able to talk to her friends and the subject comes up one told me there is a lady that she sometimes naps or sleep together. I am thinking she was real when she said nothing 'happened' but being held as you sleep does have merit. It does not match mtmMikes issue.

What else have you tried? Does she not even care that you are horny? Maybe let her catch you masturbating. Any sympathy? Will she let you give her a massage? Don't make it sensual or try anything if she does, but maybe she will understand. Both of you naked. Use good oil or a slippery cream. Go slow. Let her fall asleep. Like, apply it with love. Is she repulsed by your erection? She has to know in a lifetime we don't want to waste any of them as we do not know how many we get! If you can at least talk about it maybe a hitachi wand speed control and an attachment your dick fits through or the cup closed ended one is nice too... ;) Getting her to manipulate that control for you can be pretty exciting. Its not sex or a blow job but the results are amazing. And there is a certain trust that goes along with all that very similar to the trust you had when you were lovers. It could bridge that gap or part of it. So what if you have to clean yourself up. It sounds like you have been together and devoted a long time. She has to know you are horny. Another option that is pricey is a massage. A little sympathy from a masseuse can go a long way!
Otherwise, I would find those friends. Invite them for dinner. Let the conversation touch on sex some how and all in one place when the topic is on the table maybe you can better understand her feelings. If she hasn't any place to get any and wants some..... I've never known a woman to abstain needlesly. Mine right now is jealous and would never entertain another for me or her in that situation as long as her libido is intact. But if it was her not engaged and my libido intact I think she would help in some way. We care about each others climax now. I think she'd freak if I thought about some young guy blowing me and make sure that was not necessary. I think in that situation with another woman she may look the other way. If the tables were turned I would want to watch. Which I think I would kind of like that now, but that is a different thread. Love and finance will keep us together.
 
PersonalFavors said:
I may be confused, but some of these comments..... Mike are you looking for a guy to top you? If that's your thing, I do believe that is shockingly easy to find.

Yep. My mom at 89 does not participate, but in her community there is a large group that she does not associate with because they are 'sexually active' as she calls it. When I have been able to talk to her friends and the subject comes up one told me there is a lady that she sometimes naps or sleep together. I am thinking she was real when she said nothing 'happened' but being held as you sleep does have merit. It does not match mtmMikes issue.

What else have you tried? Does she not even care that you are horny? Maybe let her catch you masturbating. Any sympathy? Will she let you give her a massage? Don't make it sensual or try anything if she does, but maybe she will understand. Both of you naked. Use good oil or a slippery cream. Go slow. Let her fall asleep. Like, apply it with love. Is she repulsed by your erection? She has to know in a lifetime we don't want to waste any of them as we do not know how many we get! If you can at least talk about it maybe a hitachi wand speed control and an attachment your dick fits through or the cup closed ended one is nice too... ;) Getting her to manipulate that control for you can be pretty exciting. Its not sex or a blow job but the results are amazing. And there is a certain trust that goes along with all that very similar to the trust you had when you were lovers. It could bridge that gap or part of it. So what if you have to clean yourself up. It sounds like you have been together and devoted a long time. She has to know you are horny. Another option that is pricey is a massage. A little sympathy from a masseuse can go a long way!
Otherwise, I would find those friends. Invite them for dinner. Let the conversation touch on sex some how and all in one place when the topic is on the table maybe you can better understand her feelings. If she hasn't any place to get any and wants some..... I've never known a woman to abstain needlesly. Mine right now is jealous and would never entertain another for me or her in that situation as long as her libido is intact. But if it was her not engaged and my libido intact I think she would help in some way. We care about each others climax now. I think she'd freak if I thought about some young guy blowing me and make sure that was not necessary. I think in that situation with another woman she may look the other way. If the tables were turned I would want to watch. Which I think I would kind of like that now, but that is a different thread. Love and finance will keep us together.
Click to expand...
- by Captain and Tennille? -
 
PersonalFavors said:
I may be confused, but some of these comments..... Mike are you looking for a guy to top you? If that's your thing, I do believe that is shockingly easy to find.

Yep. My mom at 89 does not participate, but in her community there is a large group that she does not associate with because they are 'sexually active' as she calls it. When I have been able to talk to her friends and the subject comes up one told me there is a lady that she sometimes naps or sleep together. I am thinking she was real when she said nothing 'happened' but being held as you sleep does have merit. It does not match mtmMikes issue.

What else have you tried? Does she not even care that you are horny? Maybe let her catch you masturbating. Any sympathy? Will she let you give her a massage? Don't make it sensual or try anything if she does, but maybe she will understand. Both of you naked. Use good oil or a slippery cream. Go slow. Let her fall asleep. Like, apply it with love. Is she repulsed by your erection? She has to know in a lifetime we don't want to waste any of them as we do not know how many we get! If you can at least talk about it maybe a hitachi wand speed control and an attachment your dick fits through or the cup closed ended one is nice too... ;) Getting her to manipulate that control for you can be pretty exciting. Its not sex or a blow job but the results are amazing. And there is a certain trust that goes along with all that very similar to the trust you had when you were lovers. It could bridge that gap or part of it. So what if you have to clean yourself up. It sounds like you have been together and devoted a long time. She has to know you are horny. Another option that is pricey is a massage. A little sympathy from a masseuse can go a long way!
Otherwise, I would find those friends. Invite them for dinner. Let the conversation touch on sex some how and all in one place when the topic is on the table maybe you can better understand her feelings. If she hasn't any place to get any and wants some..... I've never known a woman to abstain needlesly. Mine right now is jealous and would never entertain another for me or her in that situation as long as her libido is intact. But if it was her not engaged and my libido intact I think she would help in some way. We care about each others climax now. I think she'd freak if I thought about some young guy blowing me and make sure that was not necessary. I think in that situation with another woman she may look the other way. If the tables were turned I would want to watch. Which I think I would kind of like that now, but that is a different thread. Love and finance will keep us together.
Click to expand...
No i'm not bi, that's not what I meant, sorry if I came off that way. Would I like sex, yes, i'm old not dead but I miss the intimacy more than the sex. Everything you mentioned I have tried over the year's, nothing got her interested, matter of fact, made things worse, lead her to calling me an over sexed pervert. Last time I bought it up, several year's ago, she told me that she never wanted sex with me or anyone else again, that if I wanted it to find somewhere else, she was 48 when all this started, she's 60 now so I see it never changing. This may be hereditary as her mom was the same way, have since learned her 2 younger sister's are the same, i'm not a Dr so just my take on things.
 
Mtnmike said:
Over our time together we've had many conversations over a wide range of things, as couple's should but you never think about what if one of us loses our libido, just not something that ever crosses your mind. That being said, we had many talks the first 6-7 year's after she decided no more sex, she refused to get help, saying nothing's wrong and can live with it, yea but what about me? Finally told me if I wanted or needed it, that i'd have to go elsewhere to get it but she doesn't want to know anything and don't bring nothing home. I have this documented and notarized, just in case and yes should has said before that she never said that, walla, here it is.
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That comment was not directed at you! But since you have commented, all I can say is that I've said the same thing to my other half. We are good friends, but for many years there was nothing, and of course I thought it was me. Talking about it is one of the hardest things to do, but the comment I made was to the guy who had only just got married! When we were younger we used to talk a lot, but to be perfectly honest it would not have occurred to me to look elsewhere. However, in the last few years with the third part of my life getting closer to its end, I have thought about it, and indeed made friends with others. I say do what you have to do, we only live once!
 
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