Help with a sentence

[Emotional]

I cant decide which way is correct here. Thoughts?

She started out hating this guy, then he seemed to actually be a decent guy until he offended her is the basic storyline.


Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me wrong.

or

Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me right.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'd go with the first one because she's starting by saying he might not be so bad...so if she was proven right it would mean he's isn't. So if he is a d-bag first one is better

 

[NotWise]

Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me wrong.

or

Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me right.

Something's wrong with the sentence if the last word can be "right" or "wrong" and it might still have the same meaning. It's like the ultimate ambiguity, right?

It seems less ambiguous to say:

Just when I thought Kayden might not be a douche bag, he proved he was.

 

[Dearelliot]

"He proved me wrong, when I thought he wasn't a douche bag...so apparently he is.

 

[Voboy]

I'd use the first one.

I'd also learn to spell "sentence."

 

[bbcbarry9033]

Just when I thought Kayden might not have been the douche bag I feared he was, he proved me wrong. Then he proved me right.

 

[TheRedChamber]

Just when I'd started to think Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he went and proved my initial assessment correct.

 

[Cindy027]

Just when I thought Kayden might not have been the douche bag I feared he was, he proved me wrong. Then he proved me right.

, but then I was wrong

 

[SimonDoom]

I agree with some others it's somewhat confusing, and I like NotWise's solution best.

If you are going to retain some version of it, the word "may" must be changed to "might," as others have indicated. It's in the past tense so you would use the subjunctive version. You would use "may" if it was in the present tense: "Just when I think Kayden may not be the douche bag I think he is, he proves me wrong."

 

[Emilymcplugger]

I cant decide which way is correct here. Thoughts?

She started out hating this guy, then he seemed to actually be a decent guy until he offended her is the basic storyline.


Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me wrong.

or

Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me right.

This is a classic case of “no meaning yes” from the hilarious movie “CLUE”.

Colonel mustard asks is “am I right in assuming there’s no-one else in the house”.

Most people would assume that “no”
Is the right answer, but it’s not.

The assumption is correct so the answer is yes.

Your question is similar.

if your assumption is someone is not that bad

And they subvert that assumption, they are proving you wrong.

That’s how I see it.

But another way to word it would be…

I’d always thought that Kayden was a douche-bag, but then, just as I started to warm towards him, he proved me right.

WHAT A PRICK!!!

(You might want to leave out the “what a prick” part).

 

[Trionyx]

I agree with stickygirl. Walk away for a day or two and start that section all over, approach from a new direction, whatever. The fact there's so much ambiguity suggests a rewrite is in order. Good luck.

 

[XerXesXu]

Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I'd thought he was, he proved me wrong.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Just when I'd decided Kayden might not be the douchebag I'd thought, he proved me wrong. The fucker.

(Also, is he somewhere where there are Kaydens over the age of 12? Because near me there aren't.)

 

[Emotional]

Thanks everyone

Main lesson I learned today.

Dont try to write when you are really hungover!

I appreciate all the help, honestly I was kind of fun seeing the different ways people would structure the same sentence.

 

[Comshaw]

This:

"Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me wrong."

Says that you thought Kayden wasn't quite the douche bag you thought he was, but he proved you wrong, that he was.

This on the other hand:

"Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me right."

Says you thought Kayden wasn't quite the douche bag you thought he was, AND he proved you right, he wasn't.

My two cents

Comshaw

 

[Emilymcplugger]

This:

"Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me wrong."

Says that you thought Kayden wasn't quite the douche bag you thought he was, but he proved you wrong, that he was.

This on the other hand:

"Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me right."

Says you thought Kayden wasn't quite the douche bag you thought he was, AND he proved you right, he wasn't.

My two cents

Comshaw

Exactly. It’s no meaning yes.

Which is why it might be better to put…

“I’d always thought Kayden was an asshole, but just when I started to warm to him, he proved me right”.

Maybe.

 

[Voboy]

Guys.

This is Lit. No need for all this back-and-forthing. Just use...

"I could never be sure whether Kayden was a douchebag or not, but I fucked him anyway."

 

[Emilymcplugger]

Guys.

This is Lit. No need for all this back-and-forthing. Just use...

"I could never be sure whether Kayden was a douchebag or not, but I fucked him anyway."

Most stories I wind up reading.

 

[GrushaVashnadze]

Guys.
This is Lit. No need for all this back-and-forthing. Just use...
"I could never be sure whether Kayden was a douchebag or not, but I fucked him anyway."

Or alternatively, "I couldn't give a shit whether Kayden's a douche bag. How big's his dick?"

 

[TadOverdon]

Something's wrong with the sentence if the last word can be "right" or "wrong" and it might still have the same meaning. It's like the ultimate ambiguity, right?

It seems less ambiguous to say:

Just when I thought Kayden might not be a douche bag, he proved he was.

That's the version I was thinking, yes.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me wrong.

or

Just when I thought Kayden may not be quite the douche bag I thought he was, he proved me right.

Is the use of 'may' correct in this sentence?

By formal rules it's incorrect: "may [not] be" is present tense where grammatical convention calls for a past tense to match "thought". However, I see this particular use quite often. I suspect it's because "may" doesn't have a past tense that fits here; you'd have to switch to something like "might". If I was editing something for formal publication I'd change it, in colloquial English I might let it pass.

In this particular example, I'd probably also switch the first "I thought" to something like "I was starting to think", but I'll leave it to the folk with English degrees to get into the finer points there; I'd need to refresh my memory on the terminology before I could articulate just what the issue is there.

 

[TadOverdon]

In this particular example, I'd probably also switch the first "I thought" to something like "I was starting to think", but I'll leave it to the folk with English degrees to get into the finer points there; I'd need to refresh my memory on the terminology before I could articulate just what the issue is there.

I think people sometimes unconsciously default to familiar constructions and phrases they've picked up from other writers, media, etc. A sentence "feels right" because it's familiar.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in...

 

[Bramblethorn]

I think people sometimes unconsciously default to familiar constructions and phrases they've picked up from other writers, media, etc. A sentence "feels right" because it's familiar.

Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the water...
Just when I thought I was out, they pull me back in...

...actually, rethinking that one a little later, the "I thought" feels okay to me now. Disregard what I said on that part!

 

[Trionyx]

If I was editing something for formal publication I'd change it, in colloquial English I might let it pass.

BT, you are sleep deprived. Subjunctive tense requires the word ‘were’ in your statement.

 

[Bramblethorn]

BT, you are sleep deprived. Subjunctive tense requires the word ‘were’ in your statement.

Got me there, though that one's well within my "okay in informal English" comfort zone. This is why I'm mostly a technical editor ;-)

(And yes, that status is accurate; I think I got four hours of sleep the night before those posts. I can't recommend it.)