Where do you masturbate when privacy matters?

[Dalelaw2164]

I think the question we should be asking is where do you like to masturbate when privacy DOESNT matter

I would have to have a REALLY BIG tonker for privacy to not matter… I mean, we’re talking at least a twelve incher. I want women to swoon in amazement and fear… but then, of course, come to rapidly and watch raptly, with quickening pulse…
Don’t get me started on my 21 vestial virgins fantasy

 

[Photog1rl]

The shower.

 

[jeff_is_smiling]

In front of my computer monitor - which is why I buy barrels of Windex to clean the monitor...

 

[GreatWhiteCock]

In my car

 

[blklthrjkt]

In my office.

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

Since I live alone, privacy isn't an issue. Plus I've never had a desire or tendency to masturbate where I could be seen or caught. And if I did play with myself where I could be viewed by someone, well, the reaction would be predictable

https://64.media.tumblr.com/49442408a4fdae4024a08498ec06e234/94db981fa243a93f-0b/s250x400/16e8d7d1a0eccb518a219e791d767b0107675df3.gifv

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

Since I live alone, privacy isn't an issue. Plus I've never had a desire or tendency to masturbate where I could be seen or caught. And if I did play with myself where I could be viewed by someone, well, the reaction would be predictable

https://64.media.tumblr.com/49442408a4fdae4024a08498ec06e234/94db981fa243a93f-0b/s250x400/16e8d7d1a0eccb518a219e791d767b0107675df3.gifv

How can I possibly convince you that is wrong.
A woman in the throes of orgasm, whether self-induced or otherwise, is a fascinating and, if I may say, beautiful sight.
Yes, the face may be twisted into a grimace.
Yes, the body may not be displayed in its most conventionally attractive form
But the whole combination is just wonderful to beyold.

And that emoji or whatever it is is driving me crazy as I try to write this.

 

[TallGlassOfSarcasm]

How can I possibly convince you that is wrong.
A woman in the throes of orgasm, whether self-induced or otherwise, is a fascinating and, if I may say, beautiful sight.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

View attachment 2185708

And he's not being sarcastic.

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

How can I possibly convince you that is wrong.

You can't, simple as that.

 

[MrMikelobe1952]

You can't, simple as that.

Yes, I know that you are a woman of strong opinions.
But there is no such thing as a woman who does not look wonderful when she cums.

Okay, I know I have not seen all women cum.
I just know that the female orgasm is a beautiful sight to behold.

 

[FranklyFrank]

In bed in the morning..in the shower in the afternoon.

 

[Lord Pmann]

I’ll find a nice bathroom somewhere. I’m just that kind of classy guy. Years of stealthy masturbation has led me to be some kind of masturbating ninja. I’ll sneak into the restroom, cum and you’ll never even know I was there.

 

[default24]

I’ll find a nice bathroom somewhere.

I like to imagine you going into a michelin star restaurant (or atleast a clean Red Lobster) and firing one out between the main course and dessert. Then returning to the table all flushed, yet relaxed and asking everyone 'what did I miss?'

 

[Drinkmein]

I like to imagine you going into a michelin star restaurant (or atleast a clean Red Lobster) and firing one out between the main course and dessert. Then returning to the table all flushed, yet relaxed and asking everyone 'what did I miss?'

Lol @ a clean red lobster. This made my day. Thank you

 

[Lord Pmann]

I like to imagine you going into a michelin star restaurant (or atleast a clean Red Lobster) and firing one out between the main course and dessert. Then returning to the table all flushed, yet relaxed and asking everyone 'what did I miss?'

You’re not too far off.

And, to maintain consistency, I masturbate with my pinky outward, just as if I’m sipping my tea.

“Oh, that’s just hollandaise sauce on my tie, my dear waiter.”

 

[alwaysaway]

I like to imagine you going into a michelin star restaurant (or atleast a clean Red Lobster) and firing one out between the main course and dessert. Then returning to the table all flushed, yet relaxed and asking everyone 'what did I miss?'

Suddenly, ladies everywhere are imagining you imagining him.

 

[default24]

You’re not too far off.

And, to maintain consistency, I masturbate with my pinky outward, just as if I’m sipping my tea.

“Oh, that’s just hollandaise sauce on my tie, my dear waiter.”

"But sir, there's no hollandaise on the menu?"

"...right, I make my own. Hit me up for the recipe"--pmann, probably

 

[Drinkmein]

These posts are gold.

 

[default24]

Suddenly, ladies everywhere are imagining you imagining him.

Now I'm imagining you imagining me imagining him in an imaginary restaurant bathroom and I'm so confused, yet... aroused

 

[default24]

Suddenly, ladies everywhere are imagining you imagining him.

Unrelated, but I miss seeing your face. Also, have you seen the post your bum thread? It's fun AF. You might want to try it?

 

[alwaysaway]

Unrelated, but I miss seeing your face. Also, have you seen the post your bum thread? It's fun AF. You might want to try it?

I’m confused as to how my face segued into thoughts about my bum

 

[default24]

I’m confused as to how my face segued into thoughts about my bum

It's a super attractive face and then I wonder if it has a matching backside. I'm sure that's all perfectly logical and literal tons of people have the exact same thought process. Right, guys?

 

[moonchild06]

In a pinch i would lock the bathroom door and use the excuse i need to "shower" bring my womanizer in and have some fun! The best part is that even though i had to be quick .... i always have an amazing orgasm.

 

[Ziggurat27]

As far as some of these answers have been, I'm not sure if they address the question asked, so let me give my opinion. As somebody who had to grow up in a three bedroom house, with 11 other people.

Edge yourself first. As a guy, I would think of something dirty, caress the tip of my cock over my clothing. Not much, just enough to acknowledge the erection, then I would physically move around and do something else. These actions are easy to disguise when you involve some sort of chore. Even if somebody realizes something is off about your behavior, honestly, they probably assume it's some sort of itch.

Personally I would do this for like half an hour, then find some excuse to get sweaty and have people not want to be around you. Yard work is great for this.I never liked using the bathroom, that's a room that has "seen some shit". So my alternative was the trees outside. They always seem to need some sort of maintenance, lots of branches with leaves, that cause more work than I would like.

I would hide, position myself so that it would look like I was doing something, like working on a stubborn branch, and rub one out. On a particularly daring mood, shoot it into nature, and let the world deal with it. Very liberating.

I just remembered. One time somebody found me resting after an intense self-love session and asked if I wanted some help with the tree. I replied "Man... Fuck this tree." He laughed and walked away. Looking back, I would like to publicly apologize to that tree. You saved me more than once.