Garnate
Died Tragically
- Joined
- Apr 26, 2008
- Posts
- 21,473
This is Garnate's cousin's pet emu and I didn't want to be the one to have to do this, but Garnate has died.
She was beautiful and kind and an amazing dancer. Probably the best dancer to ever dance. Her vagina smelled only of red currant essential oil and was naturally hairless.
We met in high-school 128 years ago and she has been the greatest person any of you have ever known. And when she slapped you, you just knew she did it with love. She loved slapping people out of love. She loved love. And was easily the best person at love that ever loved.
She had such deep, personal connections with all of you, except for you. She didn't really care for you, and you know who you are because she posted something funny once and you only liked it, not ha ha'd it.
She was cremated inside of her Challenger Shaker and will be dumped wistfully over Mar A Lago.
Fly with the angels, Garnate. We will all perish unceremoniously in your absence. We are nothing now that you are gone. We'll have to slap ourselves now.
We'll have to slap ourselves.
She was beautiful and kind and an amazing dancer. Probably the best dancer to ever dance. Her vagina smelled only of red currant essential oil and was naturally hairless.
We met in high-school 128 years ago and she has been the greatest person any of you have ever known. And when she slapped you, you just knew she did it with love. She loved slapping people out of love. She loved love. And was easily the best person at love that ever loved.
She had such deep, personal connections with all of you, except for you. She didn't really care for you, and you know who you are because she posted something funny once and you only liked it, not ha ha'd it.
She was cremated inside of her Challenger Shaker and will be dumped wistfully over Mar A Lago.
Fly with the angels, Garnate. We will all perish unceremoniously in your absence. We are nothing now that you are gone. We'll have to slap ourselves now.
We'll have to slap ourselves.
