What do female writers think about males writing from a female POV?

[DaddyAnal1966]

I think the best stories would come from authors who can mix, match, and extrapolate from personal experiences. After all, how many virgin celibate priests could write a heterosexual sex scene with feeling?

In deference to Simon, research can do a lot to prepare when writing a new scene. But I think Hemingway found that living life to the fullest gave his writing the extra sparks of experience when needed.

I agree.

Not every act in my work is one that I have been involved in myself, but most (Incest aside) are ones where I have done something at least vaguely similar.

 

[Omenainen]

I was gonna suggest you, lol.

Also reading guys who write women well is another good way to learn.

If you check out the event @Omenainen did this past year on giving women agency in writing (Pink Orchid tag) you'll find a decent amount of examples from men and women. I'd defer to Omenainen's comments on those stories for which stories worked and which didn't.

Thanks for the mention! I am going to host that event again next year and I’ll be kicking it off soon-ish. Stay tuned!

But, it’s hard for me to describe what it feels like to have an erect penis slide into your vagina because, well I don’t have a vagina. I know what it feels like to have my cock slide into any number of orifices, but that’s not the same.

2. I can only guess what it feels like to have my pussy fucked until I cum; I’m not equipped to fully understand it.

Okay, two things. First of all, all our genitals are the same. They’re formed from the same tissues in the fetus and the nerve structures are similar. So it’s not like a pussy is something totally and utterly alien even if it looks different from your junk.

Secondly, sounds like this is an easy remedy to fix! Find someone to fuck you up the ass until you come. If you only can write what you know and can’t imagine things, you need to do some practical research.

 

[MelissaBaby]

The only time I pay any attention to an author's gender is when they blatantly fuck something up. I think that part of being a writer is to try to present a variety of perspectives. You just need to approach it with empathy and sensitivity.

I spent three years writing a series that was about equally from male and female perspectives. I believe I did a pretty good job of handing both well, and of making them distinct. My take away from that is that I knew the characters. Once they were well established in my mind, I had little trouble moving from one to the other.

 

[MelissaBaby]

Thanks for the mention! I am going to host that event again next year and I’ll be kicking it off soon-ish. Stay tuned!

I'm in!

 

[jehoram]

When I write from a man's point of view I pretend that a penis is basically a ginormous clit and write like it experiences the same sorts of sensations with the same stimulus. I also have a male editor, and he usually doesn't have a problem with my anatomical descriptions.

I have the same benefit as Juana has, in that I have a female editor who occasionally points out where my descriptions of female arousal are off. The principal difference between men and women seems to be the levels of arousal, and the nature and number of the orgasms. In my experience, it's just the one big orgasm and I'm out for the count for a while, whereas in women it can be intense or gentle, multiple or non-existent. When I write it that way, she's happy.

Speaking of clits, she pointed out to me at one point that many women's clits aren't all that sensitive, at leas the external part. The part inside, where it rings the vagina, can be the most sensitive part and produces the proverbial "vaginal" orgasms. With us guys, our penises are pretty uniform, with the most sensitive part being the frenum just behind and under the cap, and the rest of it less sensitive but still capable of jollies.

 

[MillieDynamite]

If they write well and have some basic sense of how the female character thinks and behaves, I have no issue with it. When they don't get it, when the presentation is obviously what a man thinks a woman thinks or how she should, I can't get into what they are writing. Female points of view must be filtered from not only how we think but when the story is set. Women have changed over the past 200 years. The way I think and behave is different from how my character Jane Hanson thought and behaved in 1901. I had to get into the mindset of women in the Victorian/Edwardian age and the changing roles women began to find themselves in. How hard it was for professional women, (you know, lawyers, doctors, and such), in an age dominated by men. The same is true of my PI in the forties.

The question can be presented of what men think when a woman writes from a man's point of view. I have my pops read through my stories when I write from a man's point of view. He points out things that are off a bit. But he also says, some women think like men, and some men think like women. It's a matter of genetics and upbringing.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

I'm an old cis het white urban American. I don't have personal experience beyond that. But I have spent many years asking people questions, and listening to their answers. It has been my privilege to be intimate with many women, some of whom have been willing to express their experiences and desires. I try to draw upon what they have told me, in all of my writing--including my stories on Lit with female main characters.

I sort of do the same, then I found some women didn’t like me bringing out a notepad and asking questions post coitus. I never tried during.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

This thread is a little amusing to read as someone who has medically transitioned.

I wasn't born with a scrotum with balls in it, and I can't ejaculate no matter how much testosterone I inject or how much gender-affirming surgery I get. Can/should I write in the POV of characters that do have sperm-producing balls and ejaculate? Yeah, why not. If I want to, I will.

It seems silly to have these boundaries. A good writer steps out of the bounds of what they are familiar with. A great writer takes extra steps in exercising their empathy, their research skills, and so on, to figure out how best to portray someone that they are not.

Like an actor. Like... a writer. Lol. Imagine just writing about yourself and your experiences every time you picked up the pen (or touched the keyboard). Sounds boring.

Hi,

I’m not really saying that I can’t. Of course I can write about what I like and frequently do.

I have never taken any of my daughters’ virginities, let alone their anal virginities. Nor would I have even the most buried desire to do so. But I can project sex with (non-related) eighteen year olds on to an Incest fantasy (why does that keep getting capitalised?).

I can do whatever I want. I suppose the question is better phrased as how do I write the female experience better.

Does that make sense?

BTW I hope you are doing well with your new identity. I can’t imagine what you must have been through.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

This was a good thread that offers some insight to female arousal.

Thanks will read . Also have one of your stories bookmarked.

 

[Lifestyle66]

Speaking of clits, she pointed out to me at one point that many women's clits aren't all that sensitive, at leas the external part. The part inside, where it rings the vagina, can be the most sensitive part and produces the proverbial "vaginal" orgasms. With us guys, our penises are pretty uniform, with the most sensitive part being the frenum just behind and under the cap, and the rest of it less sensitive but still capable of jollies.

In my personal "research", I've found womens' vaginas differ greatly. A G-spot might be easily reached near the entrance, while another might be further in and out of reach of the fingers. Another might have a sensitive spot nearby and off center with a "nub" that grows during stimulation. Some might not even react to a man trying to stimulate them, regardless of their anatomy. And their responses to stimulations vary widely from "That felt okay, but are you done yet?" to "Oh, my GOD, that was intense!"

So, while a male author tries to write about how a woman feels in any particular scene, he might have done a great deal of research, "interviewed" multiple women, and even has a female author edit his descriptions. But he will be criticized by some woman as "man-splaining, and clueless", even though he's accurately describing how ONE woman behaved, reacted, and felt. And that critic might be an author here in the forums or a named or anonymous reader in their comments. But it is just another person's personal opinion.

The best approaches might be (as Ogg described above) create a female alter-ego account so they think you are relating a personal experience ... OR ... just write as much as you know and ignore the nay-sayers ... OR ... (as I do) write from a male first-person POV with "this is what I saw, heard, and what she said about it." After all, if I tell you what I see and hear, you can hate it, but I'm not wrong.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

Thanks for the mention! I am going to host that event again next year and I’ll be kicking it off soon-ish. Stay tuned!




Okay, two things. First of all, all our genitals are the same. They’re formed from the same tissues in the fetus and the nerve structures are similar. So it’s not like a pussy is something totally and utterly alien even if it looks different from your junk.

Secondly, sounds like this is an easy remedy to fix! Find someone to fuck you up the ass until you come. If you only can write what you know and can’t imagine things, you need to do some practical research.

Thanks.

So, I know the anatomy / evolutionary biology bit.

I am also entirely familiar with taking a strap-on (and other things) up my ass. That’s why I didn’t ask a question about what it feels like to insert a large butt-plug up your rectum.

I have used the above to extrapolate, but I strongly expect the actual experience is different. What’s so problematic about that?

 

[Lifestyle66]

I am also entirely familiar with taking a strap-on (and other things) up my ass. That’s why I didn’t ask a question about what it feels like to insert a large butt-plug up your rectum.

I have used the above to extrapolate, but I strongly expect the actual experience is different. What’s so problematic about that?

For now, there are limits to the level of research I might do for accuracy. But "never say never." LOL.

 

[Omenainen]

Thanks.

So, I know the anatomy / evolutionary biology bit.

I am also entirely familiar with taking a strap-on (and other things) up my ass. That’s why I didn’t ask a question about what it feels like to insert a large butt-plug up your rectum.

I have used the above to extrapolate, but I strongly expect the actual experience is different. What’s so problematic about that?

What makes me a bit snarky when it comes to this subject is that these topics pop up regularly. Yours was polite and nicely phrased, but still what it comes down to is that if you can’t imagine anyone’s experience beyond yours, no amount of explaining will change that. Yet here you are, searching for a woman who would be so psychic and empathetic they can put themselves into your position and explain their reality in words you can understand.

As has been pointed out, there is no one and only female experience on anything. I have a suspicion that guys posing this question mostly just want to talk sex with somebody female.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

As has been pointed out, there is no one and only female experience on anything. I have a suspicion that guys posing this question mostly just want to talk sex with somebody female.

If that’s my objective, I sure do seem to be talking to a lot of guys about it!

I am only looking to improve. I guess I feel a bit presumptuous having a female protagonist in all of my stories and writing from her POV. It feels a bit arrogant if I am honest. Then I do it as it feels sexy and things feeling sexy motivates me to write. But I don’t want to be a totally dick about it.

I have no objection to taking to anyone about sex, including the one female to make trans person who helpfully replied. That includes women. In my experience actually having sex is more fun though.

Not seeking titillation, just enlightenment.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

For now, there are limits to the level of research I might do for accuracy. But "never say never." LOL.

None of it was from a research POV. I just have kinks and have had partners who felt the same.

 

[hanban24]

I’m told that I can be quite in touch with my female side (by people who never read Club Emily I guess), but what do women writers think when they read a work where the narrator is a female, but the author is a male?

All of my work is like that. Does it grate? Do you think “why the fuck does he think he can express what having my clit licked feels like?”.

I kinda worry that I am overlaying what things feel like from a male POV onto my female protagonist. Not that I am wholly against overlaying my female protagonist of course!

I think it can be done well depending on the male’s understanding of a woman. I’ve seen it done poorly more often than well, but I wouldn’t say a man can’t write from the woman’s perspective or visa versa.

 

[lovecraft68]

I don't mean this is rude as it sounds, but...why does it matter what they think? Why would I care if a female author wrote from a male POV?

We're all free to write whatever we want from whatever perspective we want.

It's that simple, and if men or women are offended by someone writing the opposite gender, grow up and move on.

 

[Bubo_bubo]

Personal experience matters, but so does writing skill, so does literary bagage and the stuff you've read, and so many factors.

Will on average female authors do better at writing female POV erotica? Without a doubt.

But 'on average' doesn't mean a lot when evaluating individual skill. On average a man may be better at tennis than a woman. I'm still going to get beaten in more ways than I can imagine if I'd ever play tennis against Serena Williams.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

I don't mean this is rude as it sounds, but...why does it matter what they think? Why would I care if a female author wrote from a male POV?

We're all free to write whatever we want from whatever perspective we want.

It's that simple, and if men or women are offended by someone writing the opposite gender, grow up and move on.

So, I guess it’s no different to what I did for Fishing Trip (https://literotica.com/s/fishing-trip-5) I never had a Hitachi used on me, nor used one on someone else. So I read some articles about it - yes including Cosmo!

I suppose that answers my own question really.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Personal experience matters, but so does writing skill, so does literary bagage and the stuff you've read, and so many factors.

Will on average female authors do better at writing female POV erotica? Without a doubt.

But 'on average' doesn't mean a lot when evaluating individual skill. On average a man may be better at tennis than a woman. I'm still going to get beaten in more ways than I can imagine if I'd ever play tennis against Serena Williams.

Now you've made me sad, so sad. The current US Open is the last matches Serena will play.

 

[DaddyAnal1966]

Personal experience matters, but so does writing skill, so does literary bagage and the stuff you've read, and so many factors.

Will on average female authors do better at writing female POV erotica? Without a doubt.

But 'on average' doesn't mean a lot when evaluating individual skill. On average a man may be better at tennis than a woman. I'm still going to get beaten in more ways than I can imagine if I'd ever play tennis against Serena Williams.

You are of course right.

 

[Bubo_bubo]

Now you've made me sad, so sad. The current US Open is the last matches Serena will play.

Sorry-O.

 

[MillieDynamite]

Sorry-O.

It's alright, really it is. After all, I must get us to the idea of life after Serena. I'm sure there is life after Serena. I hope there is!

 

[Voboy]

This comes up a lot.

I don't think there's anything universal about male OR female thoughts, feelings, reactions, orgasms, or behaviors. Meaning, I could write about "myself," but the moment I started writing about anyone different than me? I'd be using my imagination, whether that character is male or female or neither or whatever.

I routinely write from both male and female perspectives, but I write different kinds of males and females. Some of my males act like "typical" males; most don't. Some of my females act like "typical" males. It doesn't seem to matter; nearly all my stories are positively received. So? I don't worry about it. I just write what I want and I don't bother starting threads about it.

FWIW, I've had women tell me my female narrators are completely perfect, and others telling me they're completely bogus. In other words, there's no such thing as a "monolithic woman writer" who gets to arbitrate how certain POVs are received.

I did once write as a dog. That? That was hard.

 

[Lifestyle66]

I don't mean this is rude as it sounds, but...why does it matter what they think? Why would I care if a female author wrote from a male POV?

We're all free to write whatever we want from whatever perspective we want.

It's that simple, and if men or women are offended by someone writing the opposite gender, grow up and move on.

All true.

But as I've experienced: It doesn't always matter WHAT or HOW WELL something is written. When the haters latch onto the idea a male has written something about women which they don't like, we're "man-splaining".

At the end of my story for O's challenge, I included an Author's Note which ended with "Jan learned early in life: Don't ask others to empower you. You must take control to have any power over your own destiny." I was accused on this forum of "man-splaining". But that was my WIFE'S opinion, and she has a very low opinion of weak women!

So, write what we feel like writing, and take the hits from the opinionated who think they know it all. Some just need to grow up.