Ask a MtF TG a question

[stickygirl]

Wow, everythings different. I just read UTK 2. Awesome!!!.

Hi Nats - good to see you x

 

[stickygirl]

"Rowling defends man who says he would rather have AIDS than support trans people"

Katie Montgomerie tweeted that this is being discussed in the Spanish media but not the UK. I wonder why?

Well fuck. I'm speechless. What a despicable thing to say and for JKR to support

 

[AlexBailey]

"Rowling defends man who says he would rather have AIDS than support trans people"

Katie Montgomerie tweeted that this is being discussed in the Spanish media but not the UK. I wonder why?

Well fuck. I'm speechless. What a despicable thing to say and for JKR to support

The whole concept of Trans Exclusive Radical Feminism (TERF) came as a surprise to me.

I would have thought that a population that was bucking traditional gender roles and in many ways rejecting males would not be sexist against males who were embracing and honoring the feminine. I found out how wrong I was while I lived within a mostly lesbian community. My inner femme was welcome but my outward femme expression was crushed.

JKR has made it clear how you can be a feminist and still be a toxic sexist.

 

[stickygirl]

The whole concept of Trans Exclusive Radical Feminism (TERF) came as a surprise to me.

I would have thought that a population that was bucking traditional gender roles and in many ways rejecting males would not be sexist against males who were embracing and honoring the feminine. I found out how wrong I was while I lived within a mostly lesbian community. My inner femme was welcome but my outward femme expression was crushed.

JKR has made it clear how you can be a feminist and still be a toxic sexist.

She ain't no feminist, she's a fascist

 

[MsNatalie99]

The whole concept of Trans Exclusive Radical Feminism (TERF) came as a surprise to me.

I would have thought that a population that was bucking traditional gender roles and in many ways rejecting males would not be sexist against males who were embracing and honoring the feminine. I found out how wrong I was while I lived within a mostly lesbian community. My inner femme was welcome but my outward femme expression was crushed.

JKR has made it clear how you can be a feminist and still be a toxic sexist.

From what I've seen Feminism is just a word nowadays. The concept of equality has become so muddled that no one dares persue it. How does having the same choices, same opportunities, become "there can be only one"? It's ugly, and it's only going to get uglier. It's difficult to fight hate with love, contempt with compassion, apathy with empathy. I don't know. It's hard not to watch the news without either wanting to die or wring someones throat. J.K ain't shit. Not anymore. She doesn't believe in anything. She's only making noise so we don't notice she hasn't produced anything of substance since Halfblood Prince.

 

[AlexBailey]

Hey Sticky,

I'm wondering if you've seen the series on Hulu called Euphoria.

Forgive me if you've mentioned it elsewhere. It's a gritty teen drama with a major character who is trans-feminine, played by Hunter Schafer.

There is one episode that is listed separately from the two seasons called "Part 2: Jules" that is mostly a counseling session with the trans character. Hunter Schafer is credited as a co-writer and she also has some lengthy interview clips in the extra features for the episode where she talks about how she channeled her personal experiences for the show.

Have you seen it? Do you have any feedback? Anyone else?

 

[stickygirl]

Hey Sticky,

I'm wondering if you've seen the series on Hulu called Euphoria.

Forgive me if you've mentioned it elsewhere. It's a gritty teen drama with a major character who is trans-feminine, played by Hunter Schafer.

There is one episode that is listed separately from the two seasons called "Part 2: Jules" that is mostly a counseling session with the trans character. Hunter Schafer is credited as a co-writer and she also has some lengthy interview clips in the extra features for the episode where she talks about how she channeled her personal experiences for the show.

Have you seen it? Do you have any feedback? Anyone else?

I've heard of Hulu but that's about it. Don't have any cable stuff for tv. Is there a linky elsewhere?

ETA Julia Serano has a new book coming out

 

[AlexBailey]

I've heard of Hulu but that's about it. Don't have any cable stuff for tv. Is there a linky elsewhere?

ETA Julia Serano has a new book coming out

Sorry, It's actually HBO, though I get it through HULU

There are several trailer clips and recaps on youtube.

 

[AlexBailey]

Warning: Lots of Spoilers!

The show has many different characters, and the fact that Jules is trans is not really a major plot point.

Although it has lots for sexploitative soft-porn qualities, the series is deep, incredible deep really.

 

[stickygirl]

https://i.imgur.com/pYq6aYF.png

 

[coati]

Exactly.

I went to a school where textbooks only showed fathers who smoked a pipe and worked at a paying job, and mothers who carefully prepared the house and family for the fathers coming home at the end of the day. These textbooks never showed mothers going off to work each day or doing any sort of work that a father would do. These textbooks never showed fathers preparing a meal or cleaning the house. They showed girls playing with dolls and boys playing sports.

Despite all this, I wasn't groomed into those gender roles, and I did not end up exploiting a woman to become my child-rearing slave while I smoked a pipe in an easy chair and had her wait on me at the end of each work day.

 

[stickygirl]

In the UK a few weeks ago a transgender cycling athlete was barred at the last minute from competing in the Omnium indoor track event. She had fulfilled all the requirements set out by the governing body for the event, keeping her testosterone well below their published guidelines for two years. Instead of standing by their own rules and clearly fearful that she would do well, they barred her from competing.

If that wasn't enough: two years of training for this event down the drain, she also had this to say
In her statement, Emily Bridges also spoke about the relentless attacks she has faced in the British media, saying she has “been relentlessly harassed and demonised by those who have a specific agenda to push”.
“They attack anything that isn’t the norm and print whatever is most likely to result in the highest engagement for their articles, and bring in advertising,” she said.
“This is without care for the wellbeing of individuals or marginalised groups, and others are left to pick up the pieces due to their actions.”
She described having journalists on her doorstep “every day”, said her “privacy has been totally violated” and explained that she has had to lock down her social media to hold back the “targeted abuse”.
“This is despite the fact I have not yet raced in the female category,” she added. “I have been judged despite a total lack of evidence against me, purely because I am trans.”

She's not imagining it - yesterday the UK chancellor took part in a Mumsnet interview ( fuck knows why ) but he doubled-down on the PMs statement that when it came to toilets and sports "we should follow biology". Perhaps the chancellor is one of those MPs who are being investigated for watching porn on phones in the House of Commons? No doubt that's where they get their information about trans people.

 

[AlexBailey]

In the Euphoria Special Episode Part 2: Jules, the MtF character played by Hunter Schafer, is in session with her therapist. The trans-feminine actress is credited as a co writer for this episode.


She had begun transition at a young age and had never gone through the hormonal changes of puberty. She tells her therapist that she's considering going off of her hormones. She's filled with conflicting thoughts that her therapist helps her flesh out.

She wonders how much of who she is is truly herself and how much is reactive to others in her life. It's basically weighing the contrast of nature and nurture.

( I wonder that for myself. In my youngest years I was a tag-along with my older sister and felt like 'one of the girls,' especially after my parents split up. Later when I moved in with my religious step-father, he made a concerted effort to 'make a man' out of me. I was fucked up and conflicted - still am.)

In the show, Jules falls in love with a girl and questions everything she had done in her life to make herself more attractive to males. Rue is a tomboy - or at least she isn't a girly-girl. She tells her therapist how Rue's love feels like a mother's love - "how a mom sees you before you're anything and loves you just for that, and all you have to do is just sit there and exist...."

(Listening to it I realized that is how I've always been with relationships - I never made the first moves, I always waited until someone came to me, attracted to me the way I am. Being attracted primarily to girls also seemed to confirm that I was somehow male - at least that's what comments from my mother seemed to imply. When I was younger I was always very insecure and surprised when some beautiful girl would be interested in someone like me. )

Jules talks about how she always thought of puberty as "a broadining, a deepening, a thickening" that she was always scared of because to her women are "small, and thin, and delicate... so the thought of puberty was like this irreversible forever fucking metamorphosos was... fucking terrifying, and... when it happened I would just end up on the other side - stuck or even worse - a man... through and through and then femininity would always be this elusive, distant thing, like unreachable..."


(That triggered me. I remember when my voice dropped and my body became an alien to me. I recall something that you wrote, Sticky, about your horror when you felt when hormones started trying to change your body before you were able to begin your transition. Your 'nature' found the 'nurture' you needed. I guess I'm just feeling sorry for myself, though really I shouldn't - I've had a good life, but now that my family is grown and out of the house I wonder how else it could have gone.

I think about kids today who are blocked by politics from receiving that nurture. Some people would look at my life and say how great it was that my parents pushed me the way they did without seeing the depression and suicidal ideation I went through in my teens and early twenties. I survived, and now I can't look at my family and wish things were different, but I know I could have taken a different path and still had a rich life.

Oh well. I know that if any of my children had wanted to transition, I would have supported them. It makes me sick that other people think their opinions are so important that they need to limit other people's lives. )

 

[stickygirl]

In the Euphoria Special Episode Part 2: Jules, the MtF character played by Hunter Schafer, is in session with her therapist. The trans-feminine actress is credited as a co writer for this episode.

She had begun transition at a young age and had never gone through the hormonal changes of puberty. She tells her therapist that she's considering going off of her hormones. She's filled with conflicting thoughts that her therapist helps her flesh out.

She wonders how much of who she is is truly herself and how much is reactive to others in her life. It's basically weighing the contrast of nature and nurture.

In the show, Jules falls in love with a girl and questions everything she had done in her life to make herself more attractive to males. Rue is a tomboy - or at least she isn't a girly-girl. She tells her therapist how Rue's love feels like a mother's love - "how a mom sees you before you're anything and loves you just for that, and all you have to do is just sit there and exist...."

I haven't ( can't see ) seen the show so I can't contribute much, but from what you describe here, it sounds as though there are particular topics they wanted to raise: detransition; lesbian relationships; accepting unconditional love as opposed to a stereotyped sexual attraction relationship. I'm sure the author wrote sincerely but maybe felt an obligation to push questions that she may not have gone through personally but felt were important enough to be included in the plot. I see no harm in that - I've done it in my own stories.
It sounds a really interesting show and wish I could see it :-\

Jules talks about how she always thought of puberty as "a broadining, a deepening, a thickening" that she was always scared of because to her women are "small, and thin, and delicate... so the thought of puberty was like this irreversible forever fucking metamorphosos was... fucking terrifying, and... when it happened I would just end up on the other side - stuck or even worse - a man... through and through and then femininity would always be this elusive, distant thing, like unreachable..."


(That triggered me. I remember when my voice dropped and my body became an alien to me. I recall something that you wrote, Sticky, about your horror when you felt when hormones started trying to change your body before you were able to begin your transition. Your 'nature' found the 'nurture' you needed.

Jules coins it well. Off course puberty isn't an overnight thing - it gnaws at you for several years and most kids welcome it. I can remember boys at school comparing their arms as they started to develop muscle definition and how pleased they were about the change.

What kept me going and vaguely sane was the light at the end of the tunnel. Puberty blockers weren't an option for me - we'd never heard them mentioned, but I had the support of my family with their commitment that if this was the path that was right for me, then they'd be with me 100%. It wasn't easy to get medical consultations in the first place, there were lengthy waits of a year between them ( wait times are even longer in the UK now ) but there was never any sense of it being other than a purely a medical issue. Politics and legality simply didn't figure.

I was never coerced but I was listened to, over and over again. I was quizzed and tested over and over again because everyone: the doctors, the psychs, my Mum and I - we all had to agree transitioning was the only option. Nothing in that respect has changed: the process is the same but now the medics have the option of a fully reversible and safe puberty delay drug, which was primarily used for other medical requirements and repurposed to puberty blocking. That's not at all unusual - Viagra is often used to treat prem babies with heart conditions.

What we're seeing now in the hysteria amongst politicians is a smoke screen. Our prime minister and his government frequently try to lose bad news behind smoke screens - the biggest of which was covering up the failings of Brexit behind Covid: the timing was perfect for them. Same thing in the US - the morally bankrupt GOP and their Russian sponsored mouthpiece, Fox, need something to stir up their base so what better than moral indignation over a tiny percentage of kids unable to fight back?



The only option LBGT families have in the US is move state. Maybe someone needs to start a crowdfund to help families do just that?

 

[Crios]

Read this column in today's Milwaukee Journal. I'm not transgender but firmly believe that people are who they are and should be embraced for who they are.
I myself have left the Catholic Church. For many of the reasons the author mentions. This latest abomination just cements my reasons for leaving.
I have been Catholic all my life. A new Milwaukee Archdiocese policy on transgender people has driven me from my church

 

[stickygirl]

Read this column in today's Milwaukee Journal. I'm not transgender but firmly believe that people are who they are and should be embraced for who they are.
I myself have left the Catholic Church. For many of the reasons the author mentions. This latest abomination just cements my reasons for leaving.
I have been Catholic all my life. A new Milwaukee Archdiocese policy on transgender people has driven me from my church

I'm not surprised - I've long since given up on the church. One sentence the author wrote jumped out
"I believe that truth is embedded in each of us — that God implanted a unique identity that is ours alone to experience, express and put to good use during our time on Earth."
If that isn't a perfect description of the transgender experience, I don't know what is. If there was a bearded old person who wanted to test individuals and their society, then why not pop a few identities into the wrong body and see how their experience shapes them?
The church is just another method of control and I'm not buying.

 

[MsNatalie99]

I don't so much blame the church, as I do the zealots inside. I've met good and bad people on both sides. I don't have the exact quote handy, but it was from the Dalai Lama. He had said that he had read Christ and liked Christ, studied Christianity and considered Christianity, then he met the Christians and they weren't like Christ. I guess this is by no means trying to defend the claims of that church or have any church organization that comes against a person's right to pursue their own happiness, I just don't want to hate an entire flock if there are at least one or two good people in it.

 

[AlexBailey]

God, save me from your followers.

 

[stickygirl]

I don't so much blame the church, as I do the zealots inside. I've met good and bad people on both sides. I don't have the exact quote handy, but it was from the Dalai Lama. He had said that he had read Christ and liked Christ, studied Christianity and considered Christianity, then he met the Christians and they weren't like Christ. I guess this is by no means trying to defend the claims of that church or have any church organization that comes against a person's right to pursue their own happiness, I just don't want to hate an entire flock if there are at least one or two good people in it.

Then, like the author of the piece, the good people should leave, if their conscience can't resolve what their church and its zealots are preaching. If people remain in a church that advocates such ideas then they are not good people, they are either hypocrites or complicit.

 

[MsNatalie99]

God, save me from your followers.

I know right.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Then, like the author of the piece, the good people should leave, if their conscience can't resolve what their church and its zealots are preaching. If people remain in a church that advocates such ideas then they are not good people, they are either hypocrites or complicit.

I apologize. I'm not trying to defend them, or those who attend said church. Only that I didn't like the idea of hating people of Faith as a whole, because of such organizations or its members. I meant no offense.

 

[Crios]

I apologize. I'm not trying to defend them, or those who attend said church. Only that I didn't like the idea of hating people of Faith as a whole, because of such organizations or its members. I meant no offense.

Hey, this is all a great conversation!
The kicker for me is that the leadership of the church is directing the hatred.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Hey, this is all a great conversation!
The kicker for me is that the leadership of the church is directing the hatred.

Maybe I will some other day. I gotta go

 

[stickygirl]

I apologize. I'm not trying to defend them, or those who attend said church. Only that I didn't like the idea of hating people of Faith as a whole, because of such organizations or its members. I meant no offense.

S'okay I wasn't offended but I admit I'm still growling about the subject of the discush
Catch ya laters

 

[MsNatalie99]

Hey, this is all a great conversation!
The kicker for me is that the leadership of the church is directing the hatred.

A good friend of mine was the pastor in Virginia. My parents tried to make me go to church up here in Michigan. When I got down to Virginia, I could remember exactly one Bible verse. It was the one that my church beat down my throat every time I was in there. 1st John 4:4, greater is he that is in you than he that is in the world. My friend later told me that that chapter is all about false prophets, and using your common sense to recognize them.

Now I'm not a Christian, and I disagree with a lot of things the Bible says. I'm not going to defend the church or its sins. Lord know's I'd been shown enough. What I will say, is there are horrible people who will disguise a message of hate with a word of love. There are also people who lack the personal discipline to recognize when they're being misled. And may both types of those people burn in the hell they so fear. Still, there are others who try to live a good life, treating others with the dignity they expect. That church you posted, sounds like an evil place to me. Those people that go in there gobbling that hate speech up, sound like evil people to me.

I may have just misread the context the discussion, but my feeling was that I didn't want to hate everybody of a faith, because the majority of them are assholes. I feel like if I do that, then I'd be doing the same thing they do to me.