How could you be so very wrong about your own story?

[LAHomedog]

I've long since gotten used to the fact that some readers cannot separate fact from fantasy

So true. And especially true with television. Because it comes into viewers' living rooms and bedrooms they think whoever the actor is portraying is real. That is sort of the case with movie, but the big screen experience is different.

 

[TxRad]

There must be something about you that triggers them. I don't get the impression most other writers get this kind of attention. And you seem mighty flattered about the attention you get, considering how often you want to share these things with the rest of the world, and how vocal you are about them. Kinks are irrational...

That is not quite correct. My kinks are fine, other people's kinks are irrational.

By the way, this works for a blush.

 

[jsmiam]

…No damn clue why I trigger and attract these ding-dongs.

Maybe it’s this? I couldn’t tell you the last time I read a forum profile, but you do say this in yours:

“
Date of Birth:
November 30

Biography:
I often accept requests for stories to be written if I think they're interesting. If you have something you want written, ask, worst I can say is no, right? I can either send it to you or publish it with a nod in your direction. Peace!

Location:
Canada
”

Regarding reading profiles. I rarely do for a variety of reasons. Plus, On my phone the text is super tiny. I’d have to be interested enough to zoom. In BH’s case, I went because there’s no link to stories in the signature, so I went to the forums profile in case there was a link there. Maybe people are taking the offer to heart.

And in the realm of the other thread about uncommon kinks. Maybe there’s a whole world of people with a kink for smashing biscuits with hammers, and unbeknownst to you, you are idolized by them? Gru has minions. You have Biskies!

 

[SimonDoom]

"It can't be reasoned with, it can't be bargained with. It doesn't feel pity of remorse or fear and it absolutely will not stop. Ever. Until you are dead."

- a large percentage of Lit readers, seemingly.

This would explain it. Lit readers are really just manifestations of SkyNet.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Maybe it’s this? I couldn’t tell you the last time I read a forum profile, but you do say this in yours:

“
Date of Birth:
November 30

Biography:
I often accept requests for stories to be written if I think they're interesting. If you have something you want written, ask, worst I can say is no, right? I can either send it to you or publish it with a nod in your direction. Peace!

Location:
Canada
”

Regarding reading profiles. I rarely do for a variety of reasons. Plus, On my phone the text is super tiny. I’d have to be interested enough to zoom. In BH’s case, I went because there’s no link to stories in the signature, so I went to the forums profile in case there was a link there. Maybe people are taking the offer to heart.

You have Biskies!

Why on earth does it say November 30th for my bday? Because that's nowhere near the proper date. I guess I should update my profile

As for the bit about asking me to write something, I clearly need to modify the language used to narrow down what's acceptable to ask for. Like, 'no asking for stories where pregnant women murder each other in a bloodbath of hate.'

Clearly I shouldn't make assumptions about these things.

And I DO enjoy posting things like that here, yes. Because I enjoy hearing about what other people who publish stories here experience. If it's weird and reader-related, I wanna know. Common experiences can be fun.

I guess I oughta work out how to put a story link in my signature.

Biskies? Couldn't I just call them Hammerheads? With an umlaut over the e, so that they sound badass.

Hammerhëads. I rather like that.

*toddles off to update profile*

 

[BiscuitHammer]

This would explain it. Lit readers are really just manifestations of SkyNet.

https://gifer.com/en/4Lqh

"Give... me... SMUUUUUUUUT!!!!!"

 

[jsmiam]

Why on earth does it say November 30th for my bday? …. (Snip)…. Hammerhëads. I rather like that. …

November 30th. Anyone who left their birthday blank I believe, will be born on November 30th.

And the rules clearly state: you can’t make your own nickname. It must be chosen by others.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

November 30th. Anyone who left their birthday blank I believe, will be born on November 30th.

And the rules clearly state: you can’t make your own nickname. It must be chosen by others.

But does that extend to my (tiny) legion of readers?

*grump* This sucks more ass than a mummy in cowboy boots...

 

[jsmiam]

But does that extend to my (tiny) legion of readers?

*grump* This sucks more ass than a mummy in cowboy boots...

Perhaps you’ve uncovered a loophole in the universe, since you’re not picking your own nickname, you’re picking that of your minions. Hmm. OK, fine, I’ll allow it.

Although for the biscuit hammering fetishists, do you realize what you’ve done? You have two different sets of fetishists, because in the U.S., the biskies.. umm, I mean, the hammerheads, are turned on by the soft flaky dough of American biscuits softly being smeared and gooey, whereas everywhere else in the world, the hammerheads (biskies) are aroused by the crumbs flying everywhere, since biscuits are generally hard everywhere else.

 

[windar]

I have just joined here, but I've written lots of stories on a couple of other sites. A few times, commenters have suggested alternate endings. Generally, those have been reasonable and really a matter of personal taste as to which one one prefers. But none have written them out in detail ir tried to rewrite the whole story.

As far as requests, I have done a couple. Both were things I wouldn't have come up with on my own and so doing them was interesting. They came out quite well, I think and were well received, and not just by the requester.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Perhaps you’ve uncovered a loophole in the universe, since you’re not picking your own nickname, you’re picking that of your minions. Hmm. OK, fine, I’ll allow it.

Although for the biscuit hammering fetishists, do you realize what you’ve done? You have two different sets of fetishists, because in the U.S., the biskies.. umm, I mean, the hammerheads, are turned on by the soft flaky dough of American biscuits softly being smeared and gooey, whereas everywhere else in the world, the hammerheads (biskies) are aroused by the crumbs flying everywhere, since biscuits are generally hard everywhere else.

Many years ago, I named my rabbit Biscuit Hammer. I thought I was being silly and clever, using it for my name here. Apparently I'm just a catalyst for fetishists, some of whom have more issues than the Farmer's Almanac (Pregnant Murder Lesbians dude and Obsessive Rewrite Man,, for instance)

I like to think my stuff is more fun and enjoyable than deep and disturbing. Hell, I just wrote a scene involving a comical chase with the 12th Street Rag by Lionel Hampton played by one of my characters while the chase happens.

Maybe calling them my 'legions' of readers is the wrong term. Based on the actions of Captain Rewrite and the wishes of Lord Preggo Murder, maybe I should be calling them my 'lesions' of readers...

 

[MajorRewrite]

Based on the actions of Captain Rewrite and the wishes of Lord Preggo Murder, maybe I should be calling them my 'lesions' of readers...

Please don’t call your pet lunatic “Captain Rewrite”. If you do, I’ll have to find another pen name.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Please don’t call your pet lunatic “Captain Rewrite”. If you do, I’ll have to find another pen name.

Shit, dude, I totally gapped on that. My genuine and most sincerely Canadian apologies.

I'll think of another name for him, I promise.

 

[desecration]

This ninnyhammer tells me he has completely rewritten my Alexaverse stories.

Flattering, I'd think.

We see this most in LW, but this site is divided on the sexual revolution.

Half see it as great and want to go further, but the other half see it as a disaster which has crushed real intimacy.

Some are on the line and would be perfectly content with eight hot co-eds for the night, or eight sister wives in Utah (transposition sexes as appropriate).

I'm just wondering what sex will be like after society collapses.

 

[LilyWaters]

But does that extend to my (tiny) legion of readers?

*grump* This sucks more ass than a mummy in cowboy boots...

"Don't make me use my stuff on you, baby." *shaky karate chops*

 

[NoJo]

My stories naturally repel dumb commenters. I don't allow them to get past the first polysyllabically replete, syntactically convoluted, punctuation-laden sentence.

The ones that make it to the end normally leave quietly.

 

[LilyWaters]

It warms my heart to see random people reference that movie, but two in a row is huge happy boost.

Tell me about it. It's not often that I get to fling around my favourite Bubba Ho Tep lines.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

Tell me about it. It's not often that I get to fling around my favourite Bubba Ho Tep lines.

I do love that movie. Bruce Campbell is a god.

"I'm thinkin' with sand here..."

 

[jsmiam]

… my 'lesions' of readers...

In an unfortunate twist of fate, “biscuiteers” popped into my head.

At least you had few hours of “hammerheads”.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I do love that movie. Bruce Campbell is a god.

"I'm thinkin' with sand here..."

That movie is so much better than the concept sounds. Ossie Davis was great as JFK, too.

 

[BiscuitHammer]

That movie is so much better than the concept sounds. Ossie Davis was great as JFK, too.

Think about how that pitch went...

"Okay, hear me out... Elvis, living in a retirement home, and a black JFK, fight an escaped mummy..."

 

[BiscuitHammer]

don't forget the penis cancer.

How could one ever?

"Ah named the growth Scilla, after mah ex-wife..."

UPDATE: the wackadoo who wanted the story about the two pregnant women shredding each other to ribbons in an orgy of blood and hate is angry and PM'd me to tell me that he wants to kill me for saying no. Apparently he will track me down anywhere I am in the United States and do me in.

Good luck with that for obvious reasons.

He's not the first one to do so, nor will he be the last. Now I kinda WANT to keep irking him. I shouldn't, in case he actually snaps, but I do enjoy baiting these people on occasion.

Maybe I can write him into a story. I wrote an incel who threatened me into one of my stories and he got the crap kicked out of him by Freja. Now he's locked away and no doubt some fat, greasy tattooed bastard's buttery cornhole in my story.

How on earth do I add Preggo Death Dealer to one of my stories? I do love a challenge...

 

[Brutal_One]

I guess it goes to show if you create characters (pretty much a given) but once you publish for the readers they become ‘public domain‘.

As a writer you must be doing something right if your reader has a comment about what your character should or should not have said, or should or should not have done. After all good characters like real life are only responsible for two things, “how they think” and “how they act”.

Typically how they think comes out in what the say but as a writer you can also show via ’internal dialog’ how they think.

But to have a reader pass a comment …. Your writing is having an impact on another’s consciousness …. Just sayin ….

Brutal One

 

[gunhilltrain]

This reader reminds me of Annie Wilkes in Misery. I've had people tell me what to do, but they limit themselves to about three sentences.

Call his bluff. Ask him to send you one of his versions, maybe the four-chapter one to start. Or just a single chapter. Can he prove that he actually did all this, or is it just B.S.? If he did even a portion of what he claims, I imagine he must be eager to show off his writing prowess.

 

[shakna]

He's not the first one to do so, nor will he be the last. Now I kinda WANT to keep irking him. I shouldn't, in case he actually snaps, but I do enjoy baiting these people on occasion.

I'm going to throw some extra caution on this one.

I wrote a silent character, who used sex as a bit of a coping mechanism, before she falls in love, and yadiyadiya. Whatever.

The death threats on that one came in quick and fast - and here's the caution bit. One of my more obsessed readers who was utterly incensed that a woman might like sex did track me down IRL. I now have a lovely restraining order, and a bill for a broken window.

Don't poke the bear.