Does BDSM on line work for you ?

[grandprix1041]

Can you really get turned on with online D or S ?

 

[grandprix1041]

Discussion

Not a whole lot of discussion going on here.

 

[sweettalk4u]

Can you really get turned on with online D or S ?

It’s just like any other relationship in that you get out of it what you put into it

 

[PaxNurgle]

The short answer is, mostly no. I need personal, face to face interaction. Online is fun but unless you have previously met the person face to face or at least spoken over the phone, you honestly have no idea who you are really "playing" with. Especially true for us guys, where our dream online "mistress" can oftentimes actually be some fat bearded Russian guy.

 

[twister947]

Not even a little bit.

 

[Acktion]

After my late wife died, I found myself doing some online D/s with... I'm ashamed to admit I've honestly lost count just how many I was supposedly involved with at various points. Not least because there were a few that I had no idea I was involved at that level until it came back to me that someone was doing things for me at a behest I didn't remember making.

I'm not about to knock anybody that believes it works for them. If they believe it does, then it probably does. But, I eventually had to come to terms that it just wasn't going to work with me. Not without an off-line world, face-to-face component.

Can I be involved in a platonic D/s relationship? Oh, sure. Have been in several, actually.

But, for myself, I need to be able to breathe in their exhale at least some for the relationship to be fully realized.

 

[BBW_T&A_Lover]

If you seriously want to be a Dom or sub, I wouldn't recommend doing it with anybody online. I've tried it and it wasn't for me.

If you are a Dom and you run into somebody who says no pictures, move along. Chances are they aren't doing anything you told them to do.

 

[BBW_T&A_Lover]

After my late wife died, I found myself doing some online D/s with... I'm ashamed to admit I've honestly lost count just how many I was supposedly involved with at various points. Not least because there were a few that I had no idea I was involved at that level until it came back to me that someone was doing things for me at a behest I didn't remember making.

I'm not about to knock anybody that believes it works for them. If they believe it does, then it probably does. But, I eventually had to come to terms that it just wasn't going to work with me. Not without an off-line world, face-to-face component.

Can I be involved in a platonic D/s relationship? Oh, sure. Have been in several, actually.

But, for myself, I need to be able to breathe in their exhale at least some for the relationship to be fully realized.

Have you tried finding somebody offline? Being honest about this and saying I met somebody in real life a little while ago and it turned out we both want that relationship.

There are like-minded people out there. Is it because your wife has passed and you don't want to be in a committed relationship? My condolences by the way.

 

[Primalex]

Can you really get turned on with online D or S ?

This is Literotica. If you have never masturbated to a porn story, you are somehow wrong here.

What is your actual question?

Does a cock inside your own hand feel as good as a cock inside a mouth? That's hardly a question.

Is it possible to completely squelch the desire for BDSM activities without ever doing it in real life? Well, I've never heard of that at least. There is always a breaking point where people decide to try it one way or the other in real life, even if it means to cheat on their partner.

Is it possible to be happier after an online BDSM session than before? Definitely.

Could I personally lead a life where I have only "vanilla sex" and everything remotely BDSMish has to happen online? Hm. Right now I would say "yes". But my pyramid of needs has some holes that trouble me more than lack of BDSM, so this is not a very reliable statement.

 

[grandprix1041]

BDSM in real life

This is Literotica. If you have never masturbated to a porn story, you are somehow wrong here.

What is your actual question?

Does a cock inside your own hand feel as good as a cock inside a mouth? That's hardly a question.

Is it possible to completely squelch the desire for BDSM activities without ever doing it in real life? Well, I've never heard of that at least. There is always a breaking point where people decide to try it one way or the other in real life, even if it means to cheat on their partner.

Is it possible to be happier after an online BDSM session than before? Definitely.

Could I personally lead a life where I have only "vanilla sex" and everything remotely BDSMish has to happen online? Hm. Right now I would say "yes". But my pyramid of needs has some holes that trouble me more than lack of BDSM, so this is not a very reliable statement.

I have and do experience BDSM in real life but to the extent I can on line. On line is fantasy and you don't have to worry about physical injury.

 

[grandprix1041]

Rack

This is Literotica. If you have never masturbated to a porn story, you are somehow wrong here.

What is your actual question?

Does a cock inside your own hand feel as good as a cock inside a mouth? That's hardly a question.

Is it possible to completely squelch the desire for BDSM activities without ever doing it in real life? Well, I've never heard of that at least. There is always a breaking point where people decide to try it one way or the other in real life, even if it means to cheat on their partner.

Is it possible to be happier after an online BDSM session than before? Definitely.

Could I personally lead a life where I have only "vanilla sex" and everything remotely BDSMish has to happen online? Hm. Right now I would say "yes". But my pyramid of needs has some holes that trouble me more than lack of BDSM, so this is not a very reliable statement.

I don’t. If you trust your partner, communicate, and practice RACK, you shouldn’t have much of a problem.

I'm not familiar with RACK but I am not worried and I do trust my partner. The BDSM we practice is very mild compared to what you see on here. I can only fantasize what I see on here.

 

[wicked woman]

***

If you are a Dom and you run into somebody who says no pictures, move along. Chances are they aren't doing anything you told them to do.

Or maybe they're just someone with pictures as a hard limit.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Nope.

 

[lisaharlot]

Better than nothing but not by much. If one partner in an irl couple is away and they video chat I think that has its place. But with strangers it can be a diversion if Netflix isn’t inspiring you.

 

[ouchfeelsgood]

While not an absolute substitute for face-to-face (or face-to-genital) encounters, it can certainly be fun and stimulating, and has a practical purpose when it's not feasible to meet up in person.

 

[grandprix1041]

Nice to know

With trust, dedication, communication, and time, I have found online D/s relationships to be spectacularly rewarding.

Thanks for your input, that's nice to know, maybe we'll cross paths in the future

Rob

 

[BBW_T&A_Lover]

It wasn’t for you. Or, me. However, lots of people have success with it.

You're right. My apologies for being so negative.

For me, it wasn't something that worked because of the "no pictures" deal. And I get women (I hope they were) don't feel comfortable sending pics. I am starting to realize that many men are fine with whatever is offered from another member, but that shit gets old fast IMO.

 

[CWinKtown]

Not quite

It's kind of like drinking light beer.

 

[sweettalk4u]

I send pics and I’ve met people from here. It’s definitely a trust thing. No pics is a dealbreaker for me, too, but for some it works out just fine.

It can be nothing or great depending on what two people put into it

 

[aneca]

Sometimes, with the appropriate people, doing the appropriate things. However, normally I'm very "physical" and it won't really work.

 

[riverj]

Better than nothing but not by much. If one partner in an irl couple is away and they video chat I think that has its place. But with strangers it can be a diversion if Netflix isn’t inspiring you.

I agree with this point of view...... spot on

 

[Soraya1]

I guess the best answer for me is that sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. It all depends on my mood, the ability of the other person to convey their thoughts & feelings verbally in a reasonably literate manner, and their ability to sense where my head (and body) are at as we progress thru our online BDSM play. If they move significantly too fast or too slow, of veer off in a direction I'm not into, it can detract from or kill the mood as well as the flow of the session. LIke in person BDSM play, it sould be a progression, at least until we get to know each other's likes, dislikes, personalities and proclivities better.

Soraya

 

[Lady2020]

Can you really get turned on with online D or S ?

Yes. But a good partner is rare. And developing trust takes time.

 

[sweettalk4u]

I guess the best answer for me is that sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. It all depends on my mood, the ability of the other person to convey their thoughts & feelings verbally in a reasonably literate manner, and their ability to sense where my head (and body) are at as we progress thru our online BDSM play. If they move significantly too fast or too slow, of veer off in a direction I'm not into, it can detract from or kill the mood as well as the flow of the session. LIke in person BDSM play, it sould be a progression, at least until we get to know each other's likes, dislikes, personalities and proclivities better.

Soraya

It has potential but it depends on how they click. You can get to know a person faster this way than in person and that can make for a great relationship.

 

[wallstreetguy]

In answer to this question, a one word answer:
Abso-fucking-lutely.