What Are You Nosey About Today?? 🦝

[AbsintheFather]

I'm nosey about your Avatars. What made you choose it? Do you change it or keep the same one? And why or why not?

I've had mine for a long time now. It's from an old absinthe advertisement and depicts a gentleman sharing a relaxed conversation with a long-legged lady with a glass on absinthe on the table. Last year, I made a version of it with a black cat on the table that I use just for the month of October


I've had several others over the years, but just settled on this one. Some of the others I've used are below. The yellow one was the other longest serving one. I may have used that for a couple years.

Profile photos I change a couple times a year.

As it was, I joined Lit after an evening drinking absinthe. I really wanted Absinthe-minded, but that was already taken

https://64.media.tumblr.com/8f1b85059a363b9cb0eb53e937ef08e2/8fc1a8b3f8d51afd-51/s250x400/a00ce4e886d462dd1864338ebf4834e279001cc9.jpg https://64.media.tumblr.com/4508779a1014f48d1710274bd7e04e53/8fc1a8b3f8d51afd-65/s250x400/6b8dafc2021ffa1944f07b5d3be9599034332b80.jpg https://64.media.tumblr.com/bed310c453382a0634419c688203315b/8fc1a8b3f8d51afd-0e/s250x400/6798c15a9ea7ea9ed193b18a7e49ef67b62ebbb3.jpg

 

[hotoldrguy]

My current AV is how I figure most folks see me here.

I do not think anyone thinks of you as grumpy

 

[Mei5ter]

I'm nosey about your Avatars. What made you choose it? Do you change it or keep the same one? And why or why not?

https://giphy.com/search/curious

Unfortunately, the ad for Dr Cattermole's Patent Vaginal Desiccant was still under copyright. So I put a pic of me up instead.

 

[Orchidea73]

I've had mine for a long time now. It's from an old absinthe advertisement and depicts a gentleman sharing a relaxed conversation with a long-legged lady with a glass on absinthe on the table. Last year, I made a version of it with a black cat on the table that I use just for the month of October


I've had several others over the years, but just settled on this one. Some of the others I've used are below. The yellow one was the other longest serving one. I may have used that for a couple years.

Profile photos I change a couple times a year.

As it was, I joined Lit after an evening drinking absinthe. I really wanted Absinthe-minded, but that was already taken

https://64.media.tumblr.com/8f1b85059a363b9cb0eb53e937ef08e2/8fc1a8b3f8d51afd-51/s250x400/a00ce4e886d462dd1864338ebf4834e279001cc9.jpg https://64.media.tumblr.com/4508779a1014f48d1710274bd7e04e53/8fc1a8b3f8d51afd-65/s250x400/6b8dafc2021ffa1944f07b5d3be9599034332b80.jpg https://64.media.tumblr.com/bed310c453382a0634419c688203315b/8fc1a8b3f8d51afd-0e/s250x400/6798c15a9ea7ea9ed193b18a7e49ef67b62ebbb3.jpg

I like your AV. They are many great paintings on the subject.
I do love this one. The Absinthe's Drinker by Viktor Oliva

 

[AbsintheFather]

I like your AV. They are many great paintings on the subject.
I do love this one. The Absinthe's Drinker by Viktor Oliva

Thanks

The Green Fairy, another term for absinthe, was often depicted in those advertisements from the turn of the last century. I've seen pictures of that painting before, it's cool.

 

[WillowySparkles]

I'm nosey about your Avatars. What made you choose it? Do you change it or keep the same one? And why or why not?

https://giphy.com/search/curious

My avatar is a pic of myself. I change it out to another of myself when I get bored with it.

 

[cheekygirl75]

I'm nosey about how long it takes you before you know if there's a real spark (sexual and/or romantic) between you and a new person? Does the amount of time change if you've only talked online? Or if you've only talked on the phone?

 

[Wand3rlust]

I'm nosey about how long it takes you before you know if there's a real spark (sexual and/or romantic) between you and a new person? Does the amount of time change if you've only talked online? Or if you've only talked on the phone?

I'm not very good at noticing it in real life.
Online, I can tell pretty early on if there is a connection.
That works sexually, romantically and platonically.
That would be that. If I connect then I connect. What they look like is almost incidental. Not totally, I'm not going to lie. But almost. I have to find them physically attractive. But that doesn't mean they need to fit a stereotypical version of a human.
I just need to find them physically attractive. And I just like what I like.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I'm nosey about how long it takes you before you know if there's a real spark (sexual and/or romantic) between you and a new person? Does the amount of time change if you've only talked online? Or if you've only talked on the phone?

There has only been 2 litsters I've talked to via the phone in the last year.

Spark varies on what we are both looking for. I can usually tell pretty fast if we'll have some sort of connection. How easily the conversation flows. How much I can smile.
If you can make me smile, and the conversation flows easy. I am sure we'll get along great.
If I have to work to keep conversation going. It probably wont work.

 

[Paul_Chance]

I'm nosey about how long it takes you before you know if there's a real spark (sexual and/or romantic) between you and a new person? Does the amount of time change if you've only talked online? Or if you've only talked on the phone?

Hmmmm, it's two different answers.

Online I can be slow is catching a spark (or understanding won when it's happening). Online it's more about just blazing ahead and seeing if the spark is there.

In person, I am sharp and can pick them up and fan them to a flame very quickly and that's because of all the subtle clues that are invisible online - the subtleties of body language, tone, eye contact, etc.

I'd say on the phone/voice I'm as quick as in person.

(On a related offside, the book that changed my in-person communication world was "Contact: The First Five Minutes". I hold that, in the first five minutes of real world contact with another human being - you'll know if they're willing to sleep with you. From there, it's just a question of getting to the opportunity.)

 

[FunLi]

I'm nosey about your Avatars. What made you choose it? Do you change it or keep the same one? And why or why not?

I like this lingerie set and I like my boobs . I don’t change it often, I think this is my 2nd Av.

I'm nosey about how long it takes you before you know if there's a real spark (sexual and/or romantic) between you and a new person? Does the amount of time change if you've only talked online? Or if you've only talked on the phone?

I’ve only felt an almost immediate connection (romantic/sexual) with one person online, on the phone and in person from here. It’s kinda crazy looking back at it, but it’s nice how things also just fell into place. I think the others have been an easier flirty connection but it’s tough for me to move past that phase when you’ve had a strong connection already, difficult to explain. The flirtier connections can be somewhat quick or take some time..but not too much time to where it feels like work. Like Sassy said, flowing conversations and smiles are great but working to keep a conversation going typically isn’t the greatest for each involved.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I like this lingerie set and I like my boobs . I don’t change it often, I think this is my 2nd Av.

I like that lingerie set and I like your boobs, too.

 

[FunLi]

I like that lingerie set and I like your boobs, too.

Aw, Thank ya, Darlin’

 

[aussiegeekygal]

Both offline and online if I don’t feel a certain chemistry almost immediately I’m pretty much not going to work for it. I honestly can’t think of a time when I have gone against that and it’s played out well.

I value your time as much as mine and I don’t want to have you invest it in me/us if I am not doing/feeling the same or intending to do so.

This girl speaks truth.

I'm also this

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

I'm nosey about how long it takes you before you know if there's a real spark (sexual and/or romantic) between you and a new person? Does the amount of time change if you've only talked online? Or if you've only talked on the phone?

It doesn't take me too long to now if there's something between a guy and I. There'll be an initial attraction which will make me want to know more about him. I won't necessarily let him know how I'm feeling, as I want to know for myself if what I'm feeling is real and has the potential to grow, or just something fleeting like a crush.

My big issue is taking things past the casual, even if I'm certain he's interested. I tend to keep people at arms length, and I've been doing it for years due to things that have happened. And online it's easier. I won't purposely ghost anyone but I'll do my damnedest to push them away rather then let them in. I have too many fears in letting someone new in. It's been my modus operandi for years and I suck because of it, but it's not going to change anytime soon.

 

[Lonelywife1205]

I'm nosey about how long it takes you before you know if there's a real spark (sexual and/or romantic) between you and a new person? Does the amount of time change if you've only talked online? Or if you've only talked on the phone?

I can tell very quickly. You either have chemistry or you don’t. Now, with that being said, if I’m chatting with someone and we exchange pics and either one of us isn’t feeling a mutual physical attraction, it doesn’t matter how well we were clicking. On the flip side, if we’re already into each other and we exchange pics and we’re both attracted to each other, the spark intensifies immediately.

 

[AlexBailey]

This is intended to answer several recent nosey questions…

IRL I fall deeply in love way too easily. I’ve been willing to move way too fast and had my heart broken many times. These days I’m not looking for a lover besides my wife but I still love to flirt and banter. I like to talk but I’m not into e-boning, so I’m afraid I come off as a tease sometimes when people try to connect with me. I’ll share stories and thoughts and talk about kinks but I’m not here to hook up.

I choose my avatars to show who I am and what I’m into so other litsters with similar interests might reach out and those who aren’t into it can choose to steer clear. I really like lots of the folks I’ve met here, and it’s been fun to have this outlet for some of the crazy stuff I usually keep private.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

I'm nosey about how long it takes you before you know if there's a real spark (sexual and/or romantic) between you and a new person? Does the amount of time change if you've only talked online? Or if you've only talked on the phone?

Sparks are fun. I like the sparks. If there are any they're usually pretty instantaneous from my end. It just takes me a long, long time to figure out if they're reciprocated. That's true whether the interactions have been in-person, online, on the phone, via smoke signals and semaphore code or whatever. I can't do anything with the sparks, but it's still a thrill to get them.

I'm curious how much the equation changes if you're only talking about friendships and not romances. If sex is off the table from the beginning are you more or less likely to put time and effort into getting to know someone? If one person is feeling sparks and the other isn't, does that affect how much you want to get to know them?

 

[cheekygirl75]

Sparks are fun. I like the sparks. If there are any they're usually pretty instantaneous from my end. It just takes me a long, long time to figure out if they're reciprocated. That's true whether the interactions have been in-person, online, on the phone, via smoke signals and semaphore code or whatever. I can't do anything with the sparks, but it's still a thrill to get them.

I'm curious how much the equation changes if you're only talking about friendships and not romances. If sex is off the table from the beginning are you more or less likely to put time and effort into getting to know someone? If one person is feeling sparks and the other isn't, does that affect how much you want to get to know them?

It’s funny because I think I’m the opposite of everyone… I don’t usually have trouble telling if the sparks are reciprocated, in a romantic/sexual context, but I have trouble telling if I feel them! But if it’s in a purely friendship context, it’s a lot easier for me to tell if I feel them, and harder to know if they’re reciprocated. So in that case, I will take more time to get to know someone & put more effort in.

I think only one person feeling a spark does affect how much I want to get to know someone. If it’s me feeling it, I don’t want to start feeling more when they don’t and end up getting hurt. If it’s them feeling it, I don’t want to lead anyone on and have them end up getting hurt.

 

[FranklyFrank]

I like that lingerie set and I like your boobs, too.

Seconds the vote on the boobs...

 

[Dribble]

I'm nosey about how long it takes you before you know if there's a real spark (sexual and/or romantic) between you and a new person? Does the amount of time change if you've only talked online? Or if you've only talked on the phone?

How many licks does it take to get to the center goodness of a tootsie roll pop?

 

[Rapha_79]

I can tell very quickly. You either have chemistry or you don’t. Now, with that being said, if I’m chatting with someone and we exchange pics and either one of us isn’t feeling a mutual physical attraction, it doesn’t matter how well we were clicking. On the flip side, if we’re already into each other and we exchange pics and we’re both attracted to each other, the spark intensifies immediately.

Totally agree with this. The whole thing about a spark is that it should be almost instantaneous. That’s not to say you can’t get to know someone over a longer period of time and discover that you really like each other, but that’s a slow burn, rather than a spark.

 

[Mei5ter]

Sparks are fun. I like the sparks. If there are any they're usually pretty instantaneous from my end. It just takes me a long, long time to figure out if they're reciprocated. That's true whether the interactions have been in-person, online, on the phone, via smoke signals and semaphore code or whatever. I can't do anything with the sparks, but it's still a thrill to get them.

I'm curious how much the equation changes if you're only talking about friendships and not romances. If sex is off the table from the beginning are you more or less likely to put time and effort into getting to know someone? If one person is feeling sparks and the other isn't, does that affect how much you want to get to know them?

Sites like Lit are a reversal of the traditional, in-person norms for getting to know people. On Lit, I may well have seen you naked and know all about your kinks, before we've even spoken, but I may not have seen your face and may never know your real name. But the kind of things I'm likely to find out first if I meet you in person - your name, where you live, if you're married, whether you have kids - are things Litsters generally share much later.

That anonymity is a big part of what gives people the confidence to share on a site like Lit, and that sharing makes it seductively easy to find a potential play partner. Five minutes of post stalking can tell you that you share someone's kink and that you like their pics, and then you can go from there. And if all goes well, a few days later you're happily sharing kinks and fantasies that you've never revealed to anyone else, and you feel like you've found your soul mate. Except you haven't. What you've actually found is someone whose online sexual persona is a good fit with yours. So while they may yet prove to be your soul mate (and I'm living proof that can happen), you'll only find that out later.

Speaking as someone who's up for making new friendships on Lit, but who isn't in the market for an eboning partner as my needs in that area are being blissfully happily met, I'd say this does make forging friendships harder. Being off the market means I'm of absolutely no interest to some here. Being off the market also means, very occasionally, that I'm seen as a challenge by others. But the anonymity of Lit, which makes it so easy to be open here about sex, militates against sharing the kind of normal, everyday, simple things on which regular friendships are built.

And that means that forging those friendships takes much more time, effort and commitment than it would elsewhere. It doesn't always work out - sometimes you find you don't have that much in common with someone, and you end up being friendly rather than close friends, which is fine too. But when I *have* met someone here with whom I've forged a genuine, strong friendship, the effort and time involved in forging it makes that friendship stronger and more resilient. Is it worth it? Well, two months ago I was in a hospital ICU with a family member at 3am. Not unreasonably, my friends here were asleep. But two Lit friends in a different time zone kept me company through until morning. Now that's partly because they're both lovely, kind, warm, big-hearted people. But I also think it's because when you've put time and effort into forging your friendship, it then feels natural to put the same time and effort into supporting your friends from then on.

Anyhow. I'm rambling. Carry on.

 

[BadAmy]

Sites like Lit are a reversal of the traditional, in-person norms for getting to know people. On Lit, I may well have seen you naked and know all about your kinks, before we've even spoken, but I may not have seen your face and may never know your real name. But the kind of things I'm likely to find out first if I meet you in person - your name, where you live, if you're married, whether you have kids - are things Litsters generally share much later.

That anonymity is a big part of what gives people the confidence to share on a site like Lit, and that sharing makes it seductively easy to find a potential play partner. Five minutes of post stalking can tell you that you share someone's kink and that you like their pics, and then you can go from there. And if all goes well, a few days later you're happily sharing kinks and fantasies that you've never revealed to anyone else, and you feel like you've found your soul mate. Except you haven't. What you've actually found is someone whose online sexual persona is a good fit with yours. So while they may yet prove to be your soul mate (and I'm living proof that can happen), you'll only find that out later.

Speaking as someone who's up for making new friendships on Lit, but who isn't in the market for an eboning partner as my needs in that area are being blissfully happily met, I'd say this does make forging friendships harder. Being off the market means I'm of absolutely no interest to some here. Being off the market also means, very occasionally, that I'm seen as a challenge by others. But the anonymity of Lit, which makes it so easy to be open here about sex, militates against sharing the kind of normal, everyday, simple things on which regular friendships are built.

And that means that forging those friendships takes much more time, effort and commitment than it would elsewhere. It doesn't always work out - sometimes you find you don't have that much in common with someone, and you end up being friendly rather than close friends, which is fine too. But when I *have* met someone here with whom I've forged a genuine, strong friendship, the effort and time involved in forging it makes that friendship stronger and more resilient. Is it worth it? Well, two months ago I was in a hospital ICU with a family member at 3am. Not unreasonably, my friends here were asleep. But two Lit friends in a different time zone kept me company through until morning. Now that's partly because they're both lovely, kind, warm, big-hearted people. But I also think it's because when you've put time and effort into forging your friendship, it then feels natural to put the same time and effort into supporting your friends from then on.

Anyhow. I'm rambling. Carry on.

In my best British voice....brilliant.

 

[Whiskeyjack]

Being off the market means I'm of absolutely no interest to some here. Being off the market also means, very occasionally, that I'm seen as a challenge by others. But the anonymity of Lit, which makes it so easy to be open here about sex, militates against sharing the kind of normal, everyday, simple things on which regular friendships are built.

Everything you said is spot on, but this part especially gets a big Yep from me. There have been a few people on here who (I think) have tried to see if they could "break" me. Almost like they were on a mission just to do that. It's rare, but it has happened. Those are easy to sort of ignore. It's much harder for me when we've put in the work of getting to know each other, sharing things with each other, and actually becoming friends, and then realizing after all that (or, more likely, because of all that), that there may be sparks there. That's a much different animal to wrestle with.