Sexless Marriages

[Mtnmike]

First my empathy and sympathy goes out to all unfortunately living life with partner void of intimacy at any level and degree. Since my last post on this thread, nothing has improved since, now a little over 3 years no intimacy and to feel a little down about it, today is our anniversary and though we exchanged gifts and wishes, nothing will fill that emptiness like a passionate hug, kiss, and act of love making…. For shit sakes, I’ll settle for a dry humping session resulting in a chafed cock, like in high school ;-)

I'm sorry to hear this, it is a lot harder on those anniversaries, I know. We've been sexless 13 years next month, will say it gets easier, least for me it has. I just don't care about celebrating anything with her anymore, took a lot of pressure and hard feelings from me, just me though, you may be different.

 

[RoperTrace]

First my empathy and sympathy goes out to all unfortunately living life with partner void of intimacy at any level and degree. Since my last post on this thread, nothing has improved since, now a little over 3 years no intimacy and to feel a little down about it, today is our anniversary and though we exchanged gifts and wishes, nothing will fill that emptiness like a passionate hug, kiss, and act of love making…. For shit sakes, I’ll settle for a dry humping session resulting in a chafed cock, like in high school ;-)

This isn't funny, but we stopped at a grocery this morning, after going out for breakfast at a favorite diner. My wife commented that some man, close to our age, looked really grumpy as he walked into the grocery. I almost said something like I probably know why he looks that way, and then just held my tongue. I hope your situation improves before 3 years turns into 10.

 

[thaneofcawdor]

First my empathy and sympathy goes out to all unfortunately living life with partner void of intimacy at any level and degree. Since my last post on this thread, nothing has improved since, now a little over 3 years no intimacy and to feel a little down about it, today is our anniversary and though we exchanged gifts and wishes, nothing will fill that emptiness like a passionate hug, kiss, and act of love making…. For shit sakes, I’ll settle for a dry humping session resulting in a chafed cock, like in high school ;-)

Yesterday, was mine, as well, just like any other day.

 

[Glorygirl78]

Ditto.

 

[Glorygirl78]

It’s sad how accustomed we become

 

[cryptosofts]

hack bitcoin private key

i do have too much sex drive but I don't have a girlfriend because they complain of my appetite for sex so what will l do?

Don’t spam the forums. Thanks.

 

[SoBelle]

Sexless

Obviously no two relationships are the same, but sometimes both partners just let apathy take over. I lost interest in my relationship, because the sex got so damned boring and predictable. If I tried to communicate that fact, I wasn't a good submissive. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. If you can't share your issues and needs with your partner, is staying together and cheating really the best solution??

 

[Mtnmike]

Obviously no two relationships are the same, but sometimes both partners just let apathy take over. I lost interest in my relationship, because the sex got so damned boring and predictable. If I tried to communicate that fact, I wasn't a good submissive. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. If you can't share your issues and needs with your partner, is staying together and cheating really the best solution??

I hear you, I've tried for years to sit down and talk things out but she want talk about the problem, she doesn't see one. She lost her libido cause of health & meds & because I still want sex that's my problem, wtf. Yes each couple's situation is different so they need to decide what's best for them. When you've been together for a long time it can get complacent & comfortable & are really afraid of being alone, that's what has happened to me unfortunately.

 

[Glazedcorneas]

I hear you, I've tried for years to sit down and talk things out but she want talk about the problem, she doesn't see one. She lost her libido cause of health & meds & because I still want sex that's my problem, wtf. Yes each couple's situation is different so they need to decide what's best for them. When you've been together for a long time it can get complacent & comfortable & are really afraid of being alone, that's what has happened to me unfortunately.

I completely and sincerely agree with you SoBelle and Mtnmike, as I have been a big advocate to communication being the key to a successful marriage, however I learned very quickly after being married that, communication is not the key , but only one component to many factors that make a marriage successful. Most of us are complicated beings that require attention and more nourishing in some area then other areas. Like Mtnmike, I have spoken to my wife countless number of times and encouraged counseling numerous times, however, the act of physical intimacy is not in her DNA, she is happy because she feeds off other factors in life that does not include sex, that said, there are layers to my situation as there are in everyone’s marriage, however my wife is a great soul and beautiful woman, however the lack of intimacy, the lack of showing or trying to acknowledge and support the emotional, physical, spiritual needs that comes from intimacy is a selfish act in many perspectives. I do not go out having an affair or pay for a prostitute because it’s not what I want nor fair to her , I rather have a divorce before physically engaging in an act of sex with someone else. Thus, I found this site and though not a solution, far from it, it is an outlet that allows me to connect with like minded folks who in various ways gives me insight I’m not alone , or if fortunate chat with a lady intimately, in turn providing me comfortable on those areas that are neglected and absent at home.

I apologize in advance if I don’t make sense or rambling

 

[YourgirlfriendLaura]

Late answer....

My reply is late but it is now linked to your current post. No, do not stay together, lie and cheat.
I hope you are outta there by now. You are not being a "bad submissive" but actually being a good person, to state your feelings. Don't let your sub side take over your whole mind, you are in a vulnerable position and must be strong when you do speak up.

Obviously no two relationships are the same, but sometimes both partners just let apathy take over. I lost interest in my relationship, because the sex got so damned boring and predictable. If I tried to communicate that fact, I wasn't a good submissive. Communication is the key to any successful relationship. If you can't share your issues and needs with your partner, is staying together and cheating really the best solution??

 

[Drinkmein]

Im not married but live with my partner. He's 9 years older than me and his sex drive seems to have died. Its hurting me and its hurting our relationship. I feel like I'm begging for basic affection and that hes rejecting me.

 

[gin53man]

Im not married but live with my partner. He's 9 years older than me and his sex drive seems to have died. Its hurting me and its hurting our relationship. I feel like I'm begging for basic affection and that hes rejecting me.

painful ... you need a hug

 

[Drinkmein]

painful ... you need a hug

Yes I do

 

[Mtnmike]

Im not married but live with my partner. He's 9 years older than me and his sex drive seems to have died. Its hurting me and its hurting our relationship. I feel like I'm begging for basic affection and that hes rejecting me.

I'm so sorry, I have the same problem with my wife, it's pain mentally & physically.

 

[LustyScribe]

Im not married but live with my partner. He's 9 years older than me and his sex drive seems to have died. Its hurting me and its hurting our relationship. I feel like I'm begging for basic affection and that hes rejecting me.

I get that, and I'm sorry you or anybody else in this world has to deal with that pain. Mine finally came right out and told me this year that 1. She has no sexual desire for me - or anybody else, and 2. She feels "comfortable" enough in our relationship (married 36 years) to tell me that she doesn't feel she should "go on pretending" so she doesn't want to entertain my needs and desires. At this point in my life, she just handed my chance for intimacy a death sentence. All I desire is someone to love on, to shower with affection and pleasure. Someone who wants to BE loved on. I dream of the day I find that person IRL; in the meantime, I am here, enjoying what I can with others.

 

[Drinkmein]

I get that, and I'm sorry you or anybody else in this world has to deal with that pain. Mine finally came right out and told me this year that 1. She has no sexual desire for me - or anybody else, and 2. She feels "comfortable" enough in our relationship (married 36 years) to tell me that she doesn't feel she should "go on pretending" so she doesn't want to entertain my needs and desires. At this point in my life, she just handed my chance for intimacy a death sentence. All I desire is someone to love on, to shower with affection and pleasure. Someone who wants to BE loved on. I dream of the day I find that person IRL; in the meantime, I am here, enjoying what I can with others.

So sad. His issue is depression based... im trying to not give up.

 

[Mtnmike]

I get that, and I'm sorry you or anybody else in this world has to deal with that pain. Mine finally came right out and told me this year that 1. She has no sexual desire for me - or anybody else, and 2. She feels "comfortable" enough in our relationship (married 36 years) to tell me that she doesn't feel she should "go on pretending" so she doesn't want to entertain my needs and desires. At this point in my life, she just handed my chance for intimacy a death sentence. All I desire is someone to love on, to shower with affection and pleasure. Someone who wants to BE loved on. I dream of the day I find that person IRL; in the meantime, I am here, enjoying what I can with others.

I like what you said, my sentiments exactly. Good luck my friend.

 

[LustyScribe]

So sad. His issue is depression based... im trying to not give up.

That's exactly where I am, my friend. Even though I know there are good things in my life, this depression from the rejection has begun to gnaw at all of it.

 

[Docg915]

Im not married but live with my partner. He's 9 years older than me and his sex drive seems to have died. Its hurting me and its hurting our relationship. I feel like I'm begging for basic affection and that hes rejecting me.

The feeling of rejection is almost more unbearable than the lack of sex. I think there are a lot of us that feel the same way. I don't think in most cases its a conscious act of being cold, distant or unaffectionate whatever the case may be. My wife is 10yrs older than me so the age difference we share in our relationships is similar. Masturbation only solves one of the many things missing.

 

[Drinkmein]

The feeling of rejection is almost more unbearable than the lack of sex. I think there are a lot of us that feel the same way. I don't think in most cases its a conscious act of being cold, distant or unaffectionate whatever the case may be. My wife is 10yrs older than me so the age difference we share in our relationships is similar. Masturbation only solves one of the many things missing.

The rest of our relationship is so good. It's sad thus is an issue

 

[Cybertyger]

Boats getting Crowded

I don't know why it should surprise me, yet it does. I hear my own thoughts and feelings echoed by so many of you on this thread.

I'm in a relationship with a woman i love deeply. I've been through my share and I truly found someone I can give myself wholeheartedly to. After several years though, the intimacy just died out. She has chronic back pain due to a bulging disc and suffers from depression and the combination of the two overwhelms her most days. We have talked many times about it. She says she loves me so much, she loves sex with me, but its hard for her to think about it wit all her problems. And IV been pushing her to see a doctor for both but so far nothings helps and with covid now its a miracle is she can get in to see someone,

So for years now I've been doing what I can to keep myself... Satisfied on my own. But its just not the sane. Still i don't want to bug her about sex cause it makes her feel guilty for not showing me me she wants me. Seems to be a no win situation.

But hey... If anyone ever wanted to know why I'm here that's the first time I've come out with all this, so... Good to know there are so many other sad souls in this same boat. Cheers everyone.

 

[aubmat05]

Friend, I am sorry to hear this and if it helps the problems you speak of are not so uncommon. Sharing this stuff takes courage but it is definitely the right thing to do. You clearly have a strong and loving relationship and that is a wonderful foundation. If I may make a couple of suggestions I think the top priority is to get your partner on to some effective antidepressants. You will be amazed what a difference they can make, both to her well-being and to your relationship. Depression is all too common, and there is nothing to be ashamed of here. Her back issue may be more difficult to resolve, but there is still stuff that can be done. Also, don't forget that fulfilling sexual relationships are NOT just about vaginal sex, chance for you both to polish up on your oral skills, perhaps? Every relationship is different, but I take the very straightforward view that if you have an otherwise strong and loving relationship - which you have - it is not fair or reasonable for one party to withold sex. We need to bring your gf to that place where she actively wants it again, and it is not impossible. You can also make lots of little gestures, gifts and love notes in particular, to reassure her and also to alleviate the harmful feelings of guilt which she must be feeling. You are both great people and you both deserve better. Together, you can do this. I hope this helps!

 

[nbsucked]

This thread makes me feel better about a very similar sexless marriage that feels lost in terms of romance or affection. As many pointed out, having kids, will make you think 3 times about doing anything more than trying to self pleasure and try to bond with people in similar situation like it is on this forum. Sad but feeling lees isolated reading all of you, so thank you

 

[ArtisticControl]

Not entirely sexless per se. However, after both liberating ourselves from religious dogma, my openness to exploring sexuality has not been reciprocated. The sex when it happens is still the same. Stale and boring.

 

[sunshinestate100]

First my empathy and sympathy goes out to all unfortunately living life with partner void of intimacy at any level and degree. Since my last post on this thread, nothing has improved since, now a little over 3 years no intimacy and to feel a little down about it, today is our anniversary and though we exchanged gifts and wishes, nothing will fill that emptiness like a passionate hug, kiss, and act of love making…. For shit sakes, I’ll settle for a dry humping session resulting in a chafed cock, like in high school ;-)

It is good to know that there are so many more like minded people out there that and really all we want is some kind of gesture to feel wanted. I have been married nearly 20 years most of it with very little affection at all,which has gradually got less and less as the years went on. then my wife told me a couple of years ago that she had no a desire to have sex again. So in that moment I was supposed to switch off my sexual desire as well(as we know its not that easy) Other than the affection we have a good relationship, it's catch 22 - I still have my sex drive but don't want to cheat , its driving me mad. But if she no longer wants sex that's her choice. Back to reading these pages for me!