Impractical SF tech, especially weapons

[pecksniff]

Darth Vader should remote-strangle the R&D team that came up with the Imperial Walker. It's like it's designed to be knocked down. There's a reason why real-life tanks have a low center of gravity.

See also: Mecha. Same problem.

See also: Any pre-gunpowder Klingon weapon ever. I mean, come on, a batleth?! It's no good for stabbing, no good for slashing -- if your enemy has an ordinary straight sword, you're fucked. And what's the point of a dagger with spring-loaded prongs on either side? You might see something like that IRL, but the prongs will be stationary guards. Here's a tip, guys: If something 1) is a bladed weapon humanoids could use, but 2) no human culture has ever used it, it's probably impractical. Humans have pretty much tried everything that works along those lines.

Any others?

 

[RoryN]

Weapon: The Party Cannon
Ammunition: Mainly confetti
Practical Range: 2 - 2,000 ft.
Mortality Rate: 0%

Classified as a weapon, but terrible for battle - unless at uber-close range. Best used to set decorations for weddings and bar mitzvahs.

https://i.imgur.com/J4pFyvl.gif

 

[pecksniff]

Also, what's the point of Stormtrooper armor? The recent films make clear a single blaster shot can take one of them out.

 

[LifeByEllie]

Darth Vader should remote-strangle the R&D team that came up with the Imperial Walker. It's like it's designed to be knocked down. There's a reason why real-life tanks have a low center of gravity.

See also: Mecha. Same problem.

See also: Any pre-gunpowder Klingon weapon ever. I mean, come on, a batleth?! It's no good for stabbing, no good for slashing -- if your enemy has an ordinary straight sword, you're fucked. And what's the point of a dagger with spring-loaded prongs on either side? You might see something like that IRL, but the prongs will be stationary guards. Here's a tip, guys: If something 1) is a bladed weapon humanoids could use, but 2) no human culture has ever used it, it's probably impractical. Humans have pretty much tried everything that works along those lines.

Any others?

Going back to Star Wars let's go with the Death Star and Star Killer Base. Huge weapons that cannot get anywhere quickly. They take forever to be ready to fire. Greatest weakness is by individual people and spacecraft which would be near impossible to protect something moon sized from someone getting in. Then the biggest thing is they always build one room or one spot that will bring the whole works down in a giant ball of fire. The empire would have had better luck just letting Vader of his chain to kill.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

The AT-AT's have always been considered dumb weapons. Nothing about them really works for actual combat but fuck they look cool so who cares.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

Going back to Star Wars let's go with the Death Star and Star Killer Base. Huge weapons that cannot get anywhere quickly. They take forever to be ready to fire. Greatest weakness is by individual people and spacecraft which would be near impossible to protect something moon sized from someone getting in. Then the biggest thing is they always build one room or one spot that will bring the whole works down in a giant ball of fire. The empire would have had better luck just letting Vader of his chain to kill.

The Death Star traveled at light speed like everything else. They were whipping around the galaxy in New Hope. DSII doesn't count cuz it wasn't finished and they were using Endor.
Starkiller was a planet. It couldn't fly and didn't need to.
Any weapon that size would take forever to charge up. Starkiller especially. That aspect is reasonably accurate.
As for the fatal flaws, the Death Stars was intentionally built in. Starkillers weakness was more of a nod to New Hope and the OG Death Star than anything.
As for people getting in, it was established right off the bat that Death Star had shields and defensive systems. They had to literally pull in and then intentionally release the Falcon.
Like seriously, dude. Don't criticize Star Wars on the internet unless you bring your A game. Some of us live for this shit.

 

[juttjaw]

The AT-AT's have always been considered dumb weapons. Nothing about them really works for actual combat but fuck they look cool so who cares.

I never understood why they built this shit with legs. They have the tech to make anything hover, anywhere. Why would some one accept plans for something that walks as awkward as a new born horse? I guess thats why those grubby rebelz keep winning.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

I never understood why they built this shit with legs. They have the tech to make anything hover, anywhere. Why would some one accept plans for something that walks as awkward as a new born horse? I guess thats why those grubby rebelz keep winning.

Can't go putting too much thought into Star Wars tech. It's all about looking good.

 

[Paul_Chance]

Storm Trooper armor works just like armor in the real world.

A. Makes you feel safer.
B. Get's blown to shit on almost any direct hit, but does provide limited protection.
C. Does provide limited protection from flying bits of crap and other weirdness, which has some value (reduces wounds).

LOL - though their basic training needs revamping - aim! Don't just point in the general direction from the hip.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

Storm Trooper armor works just like armor in the real world.

A. Makes you feel safer.
B. Get's blown to shit on almost any direct hit, but does provide limited protection.
C. Does provide limited protection from flying bits of crap and other weirdness, which has some value (reduces wounds).

LOL - though their basic training needs revamping - aim! Don't just point in the general direction from the hip.

There is a very very strong argument for why their aim sucks so much in New Hope and why it runs contrary to what Obi-wan says about them early on. Never heard a good for the others tho.

 

[Sean]

There is a very very strong argument for why their aim sucks so much in New Hope and why it runs contrary to what Obi-wan says about them early on. Never heard a good for the others tho.

And these blast points, too accurate for Sandpeople. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.

 

[LifeByEllie]

The Death Star traveled at light speed like everything else. They were whipping around the galaxy in New Hope. DSII doesn't count cuz it wasn't finished and they were using Endor.
Starkiller was a planet. It couldn't fly and didn't need to.
Any weapon that size would take forever to charge up. Starkiller especially. That aspect is reasonably accurate.
As for the fatal flaws, the Death Stars was intentionally built in. Starkillers weakness was more of a nod to New Hope and the OG Death Star than anything.
As for people getting in, it was established right off the bat that Death Star had shields and defensive systems. They had to literally pull in and then intentionally release the Falcon.
Like seriously, dude. Don't criticize Star Wars on the internet unless you bring your A game. Some of us live for this shit.

Don't make me get Captain Luke Picard in the Millennium Enterprise over here.

It still does not seem like a very efficient weapon system with a ton of areas that can be exploited. I mean what happens if Vader gets COVID on one of those things?

 

[pecksniff]

Don't make me get Captain Luke Picard in the Millennium Enterprise over here.

It still does not seem like a very efficient weapon system with a ton of areas that can be exploited. I mean what happens if Vader gets COVID on one of those things?

Doesn't he have it already?

 

[stickygirl]

And these blast points, too accurate for Sandpeople. Only Imperial Stormtroopers are so precise.

I knew you had a cuddly side Can you do the voice as well?

For me, it's energy/lasery type of weapons that hit a person but never go right through and damage the wall behind.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

I knew you had a cuddly side Can you do the voice as well?

For me, it's energy/lasery type of weapons that hit a person but never go right through and damage the wall behind.

The word laser is never used in Star Wars. The bolts are too slow and too visible to be lasers or anything like them.
They are almost certainly some sort of heat and/or concussive weapon. It wouldn't be very good if every shot went through multiple walls, ships and aliens.
Even lightsabers aren't lasers. More like a plasma.

 

[Mello_SixtyNine]

Darth Vader should remote-strangle the R&D team that came up with the Imperial Walker. It's like it's designed to be knocked down. There's a reason why real-life tanks have a low center of gravity.

See also: Mecha. Same problem.

See also: Any pre-gunpowder Klingon weapon ever. I mean, come on, a batleth?! It's no good for stabbing, no good for slashing -- if your enemy has an ordinary straight sword, you're fucked. And what's the point of a dagger with spring-loaded prongs on either side? You might see something like that IRL, but the prongs will be stationary guards. Here's a tip, guys: If something 1) is a bladed weapon humanoids could use, but 2) no human culture has ever used it, it's probably impractical. Humans have pretty much tried everything that works along those lines.

Any others?

Don't forget the lightsaber. A beam of plasma is a few thousand degrees. Just holding a lightsaber would melt the flesh off your bones.

Also the eight lasers that shoot out of the Death Star and merge into one big laser would not work in the real world since the lasers would just pass through each other at that convergence point.

 

[pecksniff]

Don't forget the lightsaber. A beam of plasma is a few thousand degrees. Just holding a lightsaber would melt the flesh off your bones.

Also the eight lasers that shoot out of the Death Star and merge into one big laser would not work in the real world since the lasers would just pass through each other at that convergence point.

Well, I'm not talking about the kind of SF tech that only works at all because of blackboxing. Any apparent impracticality in that kind of tech can be handwaved. E.g., we don't really know that a lightsaber uses plasma or the Death Star beams are lasers.

But we do know that it's strange to see a draft animal pulling an antigravity sledge.

 

[stickygirl]

I suspect that Klingons have really small weeners, which is why they're so insecure and aggressive

 

[pecksniff]

I suspect that Klingons have really small weeners, which is why they're so insecure and aggressive

In TOS, they were simply The Bad Guys, conquering tyrants, imperialist aggressors, put in to provide the Federation with some analogue to the Cold War. Later in the franchise, they were retconned as Proud Warrior Race Guys.

But, yeah, small weiners.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

The Klingons and Romulans are both pussies. The Borg makes short work of them all. Even Q doesn't like to mess with them.

 

[Biggs_Darklighter]

Since on Star Trek, most of their tech makes some sort of sense. Transporters are iffy and some alien shit is pretty questionable but the ships amd weapons mostly work.
Even the replicator makes sense in a "not really ever gonna happen" kind of way.