Conversation

[AZDryHeat]

She’s no longer interested or you’ve already been replaced.
Suggestion: Stop thinking about her and move on.

I think you got it right. However it not easy just to forget someone you know so well.

 

[rlaflamme]

Thank you to everyone that has jumped in and posted in here. It is great to get other ideas and viewpoints. I won't pretend I know how another's mind works and I won't pretend to know much about women, I'm a guy after all lol.

I can only share what I have experienced, seen or heard. With that, I have a hope that people get themselves out there a bit, explore a bit and spread some kindness.

I hope you all have a wonderful day.

Keep smiling

 

[HoneyMeadows]

My experience is that I will post on a thread and someone will PM me a reply, I presume in order to start a conversation with me directly. I ignore these as I feel that a response should be posted publically. I am open to conversation, both here and on LitChat, but a lot of the time the conversation is expected to be of a sexual nature.

I do express myself and will sometimes mention something sexual but often this is just how I'm feeling at the time. I would be explicit if I wanted to engage in cyber sex and most often I don't.

 

[OxfordJack]

My experience is that I will post on a thread and someone will PM me a reply, I presume in order to start a conversation with me directly. I ignore these as I feel that a response should be posted publically. I am open to conversation, both here and on LitChat, but a lot of the time the conversation is expected to be of a sexual nature.

I do express myself and will sometimes mention something sexual but often this is just how I'm feeling at the time. I would be explicit if I wanted to engage in cyber sex and most often I don't.

a sound and rational response. I have many friends on here that I chat to, some cyber but often just catching up and comparing notes about the forum

Yesterday i started chatting to a lady and found we had a common interest in guitars...so we will carry on talking music...I enjoy it immensely.

 

[rlaflamme]

I think it is important to understand the intentions when talking about sex on here. There is a big difference between talking about it and cybering and many are not sure where that line is.

Keep smiling

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

I think it is important to understand the intentions when talking about sex on here. There is a big difference between talking about it and cybering and many are not sure where that line is.

Keep smiling

Exactly! I mean, you get to the point of why even bother. There are times I'd love to talk about, in detail, sexual things. For example, talking about how I love to perform oral sex on a man, the specific things I like to do to arouse him, etc., all in an effort to make him cum. And what would I get in response? PMs from guys telling me how hard my comments made them and how much they'd like to have their dicks in my mouth! Really? Really??? Maybe expecting an intelligent conversation about sex is too much. Am I shooting too high?

 

[rlaflamme]

Exactly! I mean, you get to the point of why even bother. There are times I'd love to talk about, in detail, sexual things. For example, talking about how I love to perform oral sex on a man, the specific things I like to do to arouse him, etc., all in an effort to make him cum. And what would I get in response? PMs from guys telling me how hard my comments made them and how much they'd like to have their dicks in my mouth! Really? Really??? Maybe expecting an intelligent conversation about sex is too much. Am I shooting too high?

I think there are a good amount of people who read comments and smile, think to themselves, "Okay, I'd like to have her do that to me." and leave it like that, just enjoying the thought in their head. But there are a fair amount that take it as an offer to play and that ruins it for many people here, a good reason that many women turn their PMs off or don't ever respond to messages. The few bad apples spoil the whole bag.

Keep smiling

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

I think there are a good amount of people who read comments and smile, think to themselves, "Okay, I'd like to have her do that to me." and leave it like that, just enjoying the thought in their head. But there are a fair amount that take it as an offer to play and that ruins it for many people here, a good reason that many women turn their PMs off or don't ever respond to messages. The few bad apples spoil the whole bag.

Keep smiling

And that discourages from wanting to have an intelligent conversation about sex. And I'm not talking about a discussion for purely titillation purposes. There are sexual things I'm curious about, why people like/dislike certain things, their reactions. Like I said, maybe my expectations are too high for Lit. I really don't want to trash talk men, but it seems difficult for many of them to disengage their little heads even for a short period of time when it comes to talking about sex. They let their dicks drive their responses, and I don't need that. I can get that anyplace with a lot less effort.

And as a general disclaimer, I am not soliciting for someone to discuss these things. When I want to, I'll initiate the conversation, and not one second before.

 

[rlaflamme]

And that discourages from wanting to have an intelligent conversation about sex. And I'm not talking about a discussion for purely titillation purposes. There are sexual things I'm curious about, why people like/dislike certain things, their reactions. Like I said, maybe my expectations are too high for Lit. I really don't want to trash talk men, but it seems difficult for many of them to disengage their little heads even for a short period of time when it comes to talking about sex. They let their dicks drive their responses, and I don't need that. I can get that anyplace with a lot less effort.

And as a general disclaimer, I am not soliciting for someone to discuss these things. When I want to, I'll initiate the conversation, and not one second before.

First thing first, I am sorry you need to put in the disclaimer, I really wish you didn't have to do that, but I know you do because of what happens when you don't.

I think that that is a major problem, when talking about sex or parts of sex many people think it implies and offer. It is just talk, talk about a desire or need or fantasy, but talk, not action.

Keep smiling

 

[HoneyMeadows]

I think it is important to understand the intentions when talking about sex on here. There is a big difference between talking about it and cybering and many are not sure where that line is.

Keep smiling

I agree and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who shares this view! Sometimes I feel I'm going mad

 

[HoneyMeadows]

And that discourages from wanting to have an intelligent conversation about sex. And I'm not talking about a discussion for purely titillation purposes. There are sexual things I'm curious about, why people like/dislike certain things, their reactions. Like I said, maybe my expectations are too high for Lit. I really don't want to trash talk men, but it seems difficult for many of them to disengage their little heads even for a short period of time when it comes to talking about sex. They let their dicks drive their responses, and I don't need that. I can get that anyplace with a lot less effort.

And as a general disclaimer, I am not soliciting for someone to discuss these things. When I want to, I'll initiate the conversation, and not one second before.

I am similar to you and I have found myself wondering the same thing. I love to learn about what makes people tick but also how things work. I have attempted to engage people in the past to find out more, but that was seen as an attempt to roleplay. I figured Lit was a good place to learn about kinks but I've clearly not quite found the right crowd yet...

 

[rlaflamme]

I agree and I'm glad that I'm not the only one who shares this view! Sometimes I feel I'm going mad

I think, more so for women, lit can be a rough place to be. Seeking a conversation of any sort can lead into someone trying to turn it into a cyber session. I think it would be great if everyone could talk about sex and keep it that way, just talk, but many can't.

Keeping smiling

 

[HoneyMeadows]

I think, more so for women, lit can be a rough place to be. Seeking a conversation of any sort can lead into someone trying to turn it into a cyber session. I think it would be great if everyone could talk about sex and keep it that way, just talk, but many can't.

Keeping smiling

I think that perhaps it's because we "aren't allowed to talk about it" that it becomes difficult. There's a marked difference between "cybersex" and having a conversation that may induce arousal/release at a later time. It's a very grey area and I think that makes it more complex, which in turn puts some people off altogether.

I've just realised I've said the same thing as LadyJS

 

[rlaflamme]

I think that perhaps it's because we "aren't allowed to talk about it" that it becomes difficult. There's a marked difference between "cybersex" and having a conversation that may induce arousal/release at a later time. It's a very grey area and I think that makes it more complex, which in turn puts some people off altogether.

I've just realised I've said the same thing as LadyJS

There is no question about it, when talking about sex and things to do with it, there is a level of arousal, after all, it is sex. But that doesn't mean there is an offer on the table. I think men and women are wired quite differently and that has an effect on the conversation as well. Women seem to be more reserved and in control of their desires where as men want to move on with the desires and begin to push for them. Of course this isn't say that is true for all men or all women. There is no question about it, there are women who will go straight for the cyber fun as well and men that can just talk.

Keep smiling

 

[WillowySparkles]

I agree with a lot that has been said. And it also reinforces my decision to keep my PM inbox turned off. I like talking about sex. I also like posting pics of myself. I suspect my inbox would be overflowing with messages if it was open. And please don't get me wrong. I'm not bragging on myself, or saying that men fall all over me because I'm pretty or anything like that. I'm going by the reactions and replies that I receive from my posts. If I had to make a guess, it would be I would receive much more explicit messages than what I see posted in open threads. Being behind closed doors seems to do that. Not that it's a bad thing. I like flirting and at times I really like cybersex. But I do also want it on my schedule, when I'm ready for it. I prefer it not to be forced upon me.

 

[hotoldrguy]

I agree with a lot that has been said. And it also reinforces my decision to keep my PM inbox turned off. I like talking about sex. I also like posting pics of myself. I suspect my inbox would be overflowing with messages if it was open. And please don't get me wrong. I'm not bragging on myself, or saying that men fall all over me because I'm pretty or anything like that. I'm going by the reactions and replies that I receive from my posts. If I had to make a guess, it would be I would receive much more explicit messages than what I see posted in open threads. Being behind closed doors seems to do that. Not that it's a bad thing. I like flirting and at times I really like cybersex. But I do also want it on my schedule, when I'm ready for it. I prefer it not to be forced upon me.

Your PM's would be filled up and I am sure very explicit as well has quite a few unsolicited dick pics. I think it is always good to get to know people on the boards, out in the open. If you really click, you can always put individuals on your buddy list for PM's. You can also take them off if things go south

 

[WillowySparkles]

Your PM's would be filled up and I am sure very explicit as well has quite a few unsolicited dick pics. I think it is always good to get to know people on the boards, out in the open. If you really click, you can always put individuals on your buddy list for PM's. You can also take them off if things go south

That's how I'm proceeding. It may frustrate some people that they can't message me directly, and it's not my intent to do so. However, I might have a problem managing the messages that were coming in. I would feel obligated to respond to each and every one, and that would take away time from interacting with people in the threads. I do get some men asking for me to message me; I just saw one asking me that only some minutes ago. I just hope they understand where I'm coming from and why my stance on this needs to remain firm.

 

[cheekygirl75]

There is no question about it, when talking about sex and things to do with it, there is a level of arousal, after all, it is sex. But that doesn't mean there is an offer on the table. I think men and women are wired quite differently and that has an effect on the conversation as well. Women seem to be more reserved and in control of their desires where as men want to move on with the desires and begin to push for them. Of course this isn't say that is true for all men or all women. There is no question about it, there are women who will go straight for the cyber fun as well and men that can just talk.

Keep smiling

I don't know if it's wiring so much as conditioning. Society teaches women that we shouldn't be open about our sexuality, we're "sluts" if we are. And it teaches men that if they're persistent, they'll get the "prize" of sex with the woman they want.

At least, that's what I hope it is, because it gives me hope... societal conditioning can be changed a lot easier than intrinsic wiring.

 

[rlaflamme]

I don't know if it's wiring so much as conditioning. Society teaches women that we shouldn't be open about our sexuality, we're "sluts" if we are. And it teaches men that if they're persistent, they'll get the "prize" of sex with the woman they want.

At least, that's what I hope it is, because it gives me hope... societal conditioning can be changed a lot easier than intrinsic wiring.

That is a really good point and I think it is something we often overlook. It is "wrong" for a woman to express and talk about their sexual desires whereas men are encouraged to.

Thank you.

Keep smiling

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

I don't know if it's wiring so much as conditioning. Society teaches women that we shouldn't be open about our sexuality, we're "sluts" if we are. And it teaches men that if they're persistent, they'll get the "prize" of sex with the woman they want.

At least, that's what I hope it is, because it gives me hope... societal conditioning can be changed a lot easier than intrinsic wiring.

That is a really good point and I think it is something we often overlook. It is "wrong" for a woman to express and talk about their sexual desires whereas men are encouraged to.

That's part of it, too. If a guy fucks three women in one night, he's a stud, a manly man, admired by his fellow men. But if a woman fucks three men in one night, she's a slut, a whore, and someone who should be shunned because she probably caught something

I agree it's a societal thing, but being this far into the 21st century, I don't see that kind of thinking changing soon, at least not in my lifetime.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

That's part of it, too. If a guy fucks three women in one night, he's a stud, a manly man, admired by his fellow men. But if a woman fucks three men in one night, she's a slut, a whore, and someone who should be shunned because she probably caught something

I agree it's a societal thing, but being this far into the 21st century, I don't see that kind of thinking changing soon, at least not in my lifetime.

Hello the thread title reads conversation, so I’m going to. Please don’t read me as gruff , I can come across that way at times, but it’s not my intention here.

I would disagree with the last part of your statement. There are threads all over Lit that woman talk about everything under the sun and they are treated with respect. Ampic threads , fetish and sexuality threads . The BDSM section of the site.

A woman has all the power in the world to shut down unwanted comments in her own thread. That’s a place they could call out * said violation in public should a comment be made during a conversation about sex that they take offense to. Not wanting to turn off ones PM is so much different then starting a thread about sex and being it’s moderator. Any poster has that power at their fingertips. To moderate their own thread.

The word choice * shunned , shunned by who ? Would be my question in context to Lit forums and this conversation. Yes that’s a open ended question. It could be specific to other Lit posters that one engages with now , lurkers , newbies , future Lit users.

It seems to me the fear of being *shunned is a self censorship button. I think lurkers that have been reading the forums for years push that button every time they decide not to participate.

 

[Deleted member 5521640]

Hello the thread title reads conversation, so I’m going to. Please don’t read me as gruff , I can come across that way at times, but it’s not my intention here.

I would disagree with the last part of your statement. There are threads all over Lit that woman talk about everything under the sun and they are treated with respect. Ampic threads , fetish and sexuality threads . The BDSM section of the site.

A woman has all the power in the world to shut down unwanted comments in her own thread. That’s a place they could call out * said violation in public should a comment be made during a conversation about sex that they take offense to. Not wanting to turn off ones PM is so much different then starting a thread about sex and being it’s moderator. Any poster has that power at their fingertips. To moderate their own thread.

The word choice * shunned , shunned by who ? Would be my question in context to Lit forums and this conversation. Yes that’s a open ended question. It could be specific to other Lit posters that one engages with now , lurkers , newbies , future Lit users.

It seems to me the fear of being *shunned is a self censorship button. I think lurkers that have been reading the forums for years push that button every time they decide not to participate.

Yes, it works on Lit, but that's because this is a microcosm with differing rules. So yeah, we can talk all about whatever sexual things turn us on, or relate our bedroom conquests. And it's accepted.

What I was referring to is the real world. You try saying the same shit and see if you get the same response as you would from a Lit thread. If you tell your buddies at work you banged three women over the weekend, they'd be asking you for the fucking details. On the flip side, if I told women at work that I fucked three guys on three separate occasions during the weekend, the response would be more "How could you do that? Don't you have any self respect?" That's a nice way of saying "What a fucking whore you are!" What works on Lit is not the same once you log off and go out your door and don't try to tell me it is.

 

[Deleted member 5654768]

That's how I'm proceeding. It may frustrate some people that they can't message me directly, and it's not my intent to do so. However, I might have a problem managing the messages that were coming in. I would feel obligated to respond to each and every one, and that would take away time from interacting with people in the threads. I do get some men asking for me to message me; I just saw one asking me that only some minutes ago. I just hope they understand where I'm coming from and why my stance on this needs to remain firm.

Willow, I think you’re spot on. From a mans perspective, you’re extremely active in here, seem genuinely kind soul - which is a very welcome change to the typical posts (the mind loses lots of blood flow when a dick or clit are hard, and deep introspective thoughts and boundaries are easily crossed), you’re one of very few members in your democratic (60+, attractive, and embracing your sexuality), and from the picture posts with 45 second active times have shown you’re quite beautiful!

Keep proceeding as you are by dipping your toes in these piranha filled waters to avoid getting bit… unless that’s up your alley!

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Yes, it works on Lit, but that's because this is a microcosm with differing rules. So yeah, we can talk all about whatever sexual things turn us on, or relate our bedroom conquests. And it's accepted.

What I was referring to is the real world. You try saying the same shit and see if you get the same response as you would from a Lit thread. If you tell your buddies at work you banged three women over the weekend, they'd be asking you for the fucking details. On the flip side, if I told women at work that I fucked three guys on three separate occasions during the weekend, the response would be more "How could you do that? Don't you have any self respect?" That's a nice way of saying "What a fucking whore you are!" What works on Lit is not the same once you log off and go out your door and don't try to tell me it is.

Using my same gruff disclaimer please. We are swingers , so yes that does happen.

That’s in the real world. Now being a swinger , married swingers was a choice. Who we converse with about it is also a choice. Now you might be thinking. Why is he comparing swingers to Lit users and the real world.

Because I can’t believe that woman don’t talk in the real world about sex. With each other , their grown woman children , their BFFs . Woman have just as much locker room antics as men do. To brush stoke a sentence and state that we live in a prude society I just disagree with and I think the idea that we do is out dated.

Girls weekends as a example seriously , the single or separated woman don’t talk about sex after a few drinks.

Your argument has merit , with the exception that it’s possible that you are taking to big a liberty with that brush stroke of condemnation.

 

[JerseyJade]

Yes, it works on Lit, but that's because this is a microcosm with differing rules. So yeah, we can talk all about whatever sexual things turn us on, or relate our bedroom conquests. And it's accepted.

What I was referring to is the real world. You try saying the same shit and see if you get the same response as you would from a Lit thread. If you tell your buddies at work you banged three women over the weekend, they'd be asking you for the fucking details. On the flip side, if I told women at work that I fucked three guys on three separate occasions during the weekend, the response would be more "How could you do that? Don't you have any self respect?" That's a nice way of saying "What a fucking whore you are!" What works on Lit is not the same once you log off and go out your door and don't try to tell me it is.

If a woman I work with told me that she fucked 3 guys on separate occasions over the weekend... this would be my reaction...

https://thumbs.gfycat.com/WebbedPhysicalHagfish-size_restricted.gif