How to describe sex between people who don't like each other?

[Nouh_Bdee]

My current WIP features the MC going down on a woman he hates (with reason) several times (he is coerced into doing this). The story is written in first person from his perspective and I'm struggling with describing the act in a hot way, especially the third and fourth time it happens. She's objectively attractive to him, but she's also ruining his life and he hates her, and that's gumming up the works for me.

Any advice?

 

[TarnishedPenny]

Question - is this intended to be erotic or a description of a distasteful act?

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

Question - is this intended to be erotic or a description of a distasteful act?

Haha, is both a valid answer? Maybe that's my problem. I think it has to be at least a little bit erotic. He's turned on by her body, and he enjoys the act itself. At least, that's the way I've conceptualized it so far.

 

[SimonDoom]

He's a man. Men are simple, even when they're not. I assume that she's hot, even if he hates her. This actually isn't that hard. It's 100% plausible that a man could be totally turned on fucking a hot woman that he is angry at for whatever reason.

Describe the way he has sex with her in hot, angry, and selfish terms. He doesn't give a damn about her pleasure. But the thing is -- she gets pleasure from the obvious pleasure he takes in her body.

Think about your word choices. Avoid sensitivity and gentleness. Maybe read a few noir stories to get hints on style this absolutely can work.

 

[PennameWombat]

I've never quite done anything exactly like this. I did a threeway where the male (Peter) essentially coerced his girlfriend (Brittany) to include her rival (Iris). There were lots of verbal insults between the two females and Peter ordered Iris at one point while he fucked her anally to perform oral sex on Brittany. Just before that Brittany abused Iris a bit while the latter was tied up and would've done more but Peter stopped her, then didn't let Iris respond in kind later...

The story is Adrift in Space. It's a long story, Iris doesn't appear until page 10 ("Hunting the Theropods" section). The specific action mentioned above begins on page 14, but the intervening covers background on Brittany's and Iris's relationship while the three and some others hunt dinosaurs.

To your specific situation, I think a key is the nature of the coercion. Is it monetary (he's broke and needs money)? Or some sort of blackmail (he's had an affair? stole money? she knows and will tell?) So what's in it for him? One approach, he simply treats this as a pure transaction. He eats her, he gets money (or, continued freedom).

Is there an end in sight? Or, is it unclear that she'll 'let him out' of the deal?

What else does he get? Does she blow him? Let him fuck her? Or is this purely one way? It seems to me that if it's purely one-way, the coercion has to be powerful. If it's not one-way, then I think the song "Self Esteem" by The Offspring will give you some hints. She embarrasses him and fucks his friends, but she gets drunk and fucks him too.

Back to your point. Does she insult him while he does it or does she offer release (from whatever hold she has)?

Just IMHO, but I think his inner monologue would be a combination of self-loathing, expressions of hatred for the woman but also reflection on whatever is driving him.

Or like the song, he's simply a sucker with no self-esteem.

 

[LAHomedog]

Well, with most of the straight guys I know, the smell of a pussy goes right into his brain and primal urges kick in. Under duress would be a different matter. Now you are discussing rape of some sort. What's his motivation? His thoughts? What is the sub-text for both of them?

 

[AlexBailey]

Describe the way he has sex with her in hot, angry, and selfish terms. He doesn't give a damn about her pleasure. But the thing is -- she gets pleasure from the obvious pleasure he takes in her body.

This.

He could be a slave to his libido and enraged that he's limited to her for his relief. Any pleasure that she derives pains him, he's disgusted with his primal reaction, wishing that he could insult her with impotence, but his body and carnal desire betrays him.

Have you ever had sex that you regretted? Imagine feeling that way while in the act.

 

[Jake_Raazor]

Marriage.

 

[Nouh_Bdee]

It's 100% plausible that a man could be totally turned on fucking a hot woman that he is angry at for whatever reason.

Describe the way he has sex with her in hot, angry, and selfish terms. He doesn't give a damn about her pleasure.

He could be a slave to his libido and enraged that he's limited to her for his relief. Any pleasure that she derives pains him, he's disgusted with his primal reaction, wishing that he could insult her with impotence, but his body and carnal desire betrays him.

But he doesn't get to fuck her, or get any stimulation at all. Her pleasure is the only thing that saves him from something bad.

Does she insult him while he does it or does she offer release (from whatever hold she has)?

No, she treats him like a vibrator. He's just an appliance to her.

Just IMHO, but I think his inner monologue would be a combination of self-loathing, expressions of hatred for the woman but also reflection on whatever is driving him.

This might help.

Well, with most of the straight guys I know, the smell of a pussy goes right into his brain and primal urges kick in.

This is basically all I've done already, and it's not bad, but it doesn't feel like enough.

Under duress would be a different matter. Now you are discussing rape of some sort. What's his motivation? His thoughts? What is the sub-text for both of them?

Well, I might want to play the actual hold she has over him close to the vest, but something bad and painful will happen to him if she doesn't cum, and his dick will not be coming in contact with her at all.

 

[Handley_Page]

Marriage.

Exactly.

 

[lovecraft68]

This is one of those things I believe you have the ability to write this or you don't, and there is no way to convincingly fake it.

If you can write or understand a hate fuck, you got this. if you can understand addiction...doing something you both love, but hate yourself for doing, swear its the last time, but shit, there you are again... you got this.

If those elude you, you're going to struggle.

I can make anything a train wreck-and have on many occasions in my stories-but I think that knack is inherent and instinctual(and from being a hot mess myself in many ways) I don't think it can be taught or faked.

 

[MillieDynamite]

This is one of those things I believe you have the ability to write this or you don't, and there is no way to convincingly fake it.

If you can write or understand a hate fuck, you got this. if you can understand addiction...doing something you both love, but hate yourself for doing, swear its the last time, but shit, there you are again... you got this.

If those elude you, you're going to struggle.

I can make anything a train wreck-and have on many occasions in my stories-but I think that knack is inherent and instinctual(and from being a hot mess myself in many ways) I don't think it can be taught or faked.

In my circle of friends, there are two people that can't stand each other. Yet, they are an item in bed, and it happens often. They don't talk about, in general, but in private inside the circle of friends, one or the other rats themselves and the other person out every time. They are of the opposite sex from one another, both are bisexual with a strong same sex preference, and can't agree on the time of day. There is something almost magical when they talk about the fucking (or when they have shared the stories with me).

They end up with one another, alone, after a party, or after the conversation and goofing off ends at the bar. And somehow, one ends up at the others place. They fight, the fight turns to insults, which morphs into kissings and the hate-making follows.

I'd love to plant a camera and see what happens when it happens, "But that would be wrong."