Cars that Looked Cool but Actually Sucked.

[PaxNurgle]

You probably know what I'm talking about; if you were old enough to remember cars like the DeLorean or the Pontiac Fiero. The cars that looked flashy, fast and sporty, but were actually slow and underwhelming when you actually drove them.

Like, take the DeLorean. It looked like the kind of car that would tear up roads in a high-speed quest to get back to the future. Plus those folding gull-wing doors made the thing look like some super exotic ride. But the car was underpowered and heavy, slow off the mark and it only topped out at like 110 miles per hour- unimpressive even by early 1980's standard. Or the Fiero, marketed as some kind of entry level sports car with hot, wedge styling and a mid-engine, which was only a small four cylendar, and the car was neither fast nor particularly good handling.

Any other examples?

 

[rae121452]

i'd still like to have a delorean, regardless. i had a neighbor in the 80's who had one, it was more often broken down than running.

i always wanted a corvair, there was just something about that car that rang my chimes. i finally bought an old one in the 80's...that car hated my fucking guts. anyone else could drive it but whenever i got behind the wheel it stopped running. i finally gifted it to my nephew who sold it for crack money. be careful what you wish for.

 

[RoryN]

Honda CR-Z.

Should have flown. Crawled instead. So much for heritage..

 

[KeithD]

The follow on to the DeLorean is the Bricklin, gull wings and all, which has a similar rep. One of my family members has three of them taking up space in his garage. (I think the Yugo was the follow on idea of a joke to the Bricklin, so there you go in terms of a pile of trash.)

I thought the Chevy Vega I had when I was starting out in my first job was sporty at a low price and it gave me good service. But they have the reputation of having been a pile of nothing and I'd be very surprised to know that any have survived. One reason I settled on that was that I was working at the Navy Yard in D.C., where, if you had a better car, it wouldn't still be there when you left work on any given day. Happily enough, it was never stolen.

Later, I had a really sleek, two-tone silver and gray 1987 Thunderbird that I just loved the looks of. It spent more time in the shop than on the road but I really enjoyed driving it and I probably put more miles on it than on any other car, because I had it the year I lived 250 miles from where I was working.

 

[Chernosoth]

I considered buying a Fiero for high mpg. The seats are very low. Even a DeLorean would be better than today's overpowered garbage truck SUVs.

 

[BrokenBarbie]

Honda S2000. Gutless Miata knockoff.

 

[Wat_Tyler]

The Fiero GT v6 was a fun car. It's problem was that it only came with the 4-speed transaxle. As a 5-speed, it would have been a lot better. Looked at one and considered it, but wound up buying some other unfortunate 1980s piece of shit.


That was not a Happy Decade for cars.


https://img.hmn.com/fit-in/900x506/filters:upscale()/stories/2017/10/1988PontiacFieroGT_01_1000.jpg

 

[rockcasbah]

Honda S2000. Gutless Miata knockoff.

You're crazy and/or have never driven an S2000.

Agree with Wat; the later V6 Fiero wasn't bad with its Citation X11 drivetrain/rear end and Chevette (Vauxhall) front end.

(keep in mind the first gen Miata was just a Mazda Protege underneath)

Likewise. the Vega was a good looking car for a cheapy, like a small Camaro if you squinted, but GM put three replacement aluminum motors in mine on their dime.

 

[RoryN]

Controversial choice: Porsche 928

Looks like a shark!

Runs like a............well, no one really knows.

 

[oggbashan]

1930s Horch - looked great but too heavy and slow.

Austin Nash Metropolitan - Slow, clunky with a poor turning circle and appalling handling.


Lima De Ville - a replica of Bugatti Royale but tires too large and crap car:

https://images.honestjohn.co.uk/imagecache/file/width/640/media/5712934/Panther%20DeVille%20(1).jpg

The same is true of most modern replicas - looked wrong.

 

[Philthy_Phil]

When I was 16 we stole a delorean and went for a joyride. It was at a mechanic shop and they left the keys in it. Dummies.

 

[y=mx+b]

83 Mercury Cougar. Just a fucking dog of a car.

 

[Philthy_Phil]

83 Mercury Cougar. Just a fucking dog of a car.

I had a 73 convertible cougar back in the 90s. It died in a small town called Sicamous and I never went back for it. I kick myself to this day over that.

 

[Buttterscotch]

The Fiero GT v6 was a fun car. It's problem was that it only came with the 4-speed transaxle. As a 5-speed, it would have been a lot better. Looked at one and considered it, but wound up buying some other unfortunate 1980s piece of shit.


That was not a Happy Decade for cars.


https://img.hmn.com/fit-in/900x506/filters:upscale()/stories/2017/10/1988PontiacFieroGT_01_1000.jpg

Oh yes. My uncle owned a black 4-cylinder version and it was so terrible. It randomly leaked all the antifreeze out every so often, you had to disconnect the battery at night otherwise it would go dead, the door fell off, and one time it even caught fire. It looked really cool and was fun to drive when it was running but terrible terrible car.

 

[zoso682001]

Oh yes. My uncle owned a black 4-cylinder version and it was so terrible. It randomly leaked all the antifreeze out every so often, you had to disconnect the battery at night otherwise it would go dead, the door fell off, and one time it even caught fire. It looked really cool and was fun to drive when it was running but terrible terrible car.

I had a friend with a later model Fiero that turbocharged the V6 and it was a big improvement . He later got an 87 and had it totally built . All the underpinnings then added a Cadillac Northstar V8 with a turbocharger . Greatly improved the performance .

Then he added the nitros oxide for an extra 200 horsepower ! Crazy but loads of fun .

 

[oggbashan]

Pre-war Invincta Black Prince.

Looked good, performed well, but the gearbox was crap and would sometimes fail to get reverse.

https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2939/14498256322_2e58b7b1b7_b.jpg

Add: 1930s Wolseley Hornet - all models. Too narrow a chassis so would roll over, and the chassis flexed, destroying the bodies. NOT to be driven around corners!

 

[Buttterscotch]

I had a friend with a later model Fiero that turbocharged the V6 and it was a big improvement . He later got an 87 and had it totally built . All the underpinnings then added a Cadillac Northstar V8 with a turbocharger . Greatly improved the performance .

Then he added the nitros oxide for an extra 200 horsepower ! Crazy but loads of fun .

That is all motor and some seats attached. I bet that thing was a small rocket.

 

[PaxNurgle]

The 80s was not, generally speaking, a good decade for cars.

I remember the Vega; they were pretty notorious for being total rust buckets. And the Bricklin; there were a couple in my home town and like the DeLorean, they looked cool, and had a bigger more powerful engine than the Delorean, but they still were not generally regarded as particularly good cars.

I was totally in love with the late 70's/early 80s Mercedes SL Sportscar as a kid. It totally looked like a cool, muscle car/convertible that looked like it would be fast and powerful. However, the 380 SL version, as it turns out, was, much like the DeLorean, notoriously underpowered and not a particularly good handling car either.

I actually owned a mid-1970's vintage 450 SLC (the 4 seater version) for a while. It looked great, had marginally decent power but... the cooling system failed almost continually, it went through three alternators and five batteries in the space of three years (despite not being a daily driver) and finally, the transmission failed; the reverse gear quit working. I got a good deal on it (now I know why) but would have cost three times what I paid for it to get it running again so...sadly I had to cut my losses on it.

The late 80's SL model got a larger engine- up to around 340 cubic inches instead of the sluggish 234 cubic inches on the 380 version, so those were presuambly a little better, and by the early 90s the car was re-designed anyway and was arguably a much faster and better car as a result (but so were most '90s cars.)

 

[thør]

Pre-war Invincta Black Prince.

Looked good, performed well, but the gearbox was crap and would sometimes fail to get reverse.

https://c1.staticflickr.com/3/2939/14498256322_2e58b7b1b7_b.jpg

Add: 1930s Wolseley Hornet - all models. Too narrow a chassis so would roll over, and the chassis flexed, destroying the bodies. NOT to be driven around corners!

The Saab V4 rally car adjacent the Hornet was a fun little car.

 

[zoso682001]

That is all motor and some seats attached. I bet that thing was a small rocket.

Absolutely !

 

[Conager]

The 80s was not, generally speaking, a good decade for cars.

I remember the Vega; they were pretty notorious for being total rust buckets. And the Bricklin; there were a couple in my home town and like the DeLorean, they looked cool, and had a bigger more powerful engine than the Delorean, but they still were not generally regarded as particularly good cars.

I was totally in love with the late 70's/early 80s Mercedes SL Sportscar as a kid. It totally looked like a cool, muscle car/convertible that looked like it would be fast and powerful. However, the 380 SL version, as it turns out, was, much like the DeLorean, notoriously underpowered and not a particularly good handling car either.

I actually owned a mid-1970's vintage 450 SLC (the 4 seater version) for a while. It looked great, had marginally decent power but... the cooling system failed almost continually, it went through three alternators and five batteries in the space of three years (despite not being a daily driver) and finally, the transmission failed; the reverse gear quit working. I got a good deal on it (now I know why) but would have cost three times what I paid for it to get it running again so...sadly I had to cut my losses on it.

The late 80's SL model got a larger engine- up to around 340 cubic inches instead of the sluggish 234 cubic inches on the 380 version, so those were presuambly a little better, and by the early 90s the car was re-designed anyway and was arguably a much faster and better car as a result (but so were most '90s cars.)

I had a grey market Gernan 350 SLC. Aluminum block overhead cams. It was much faster than a US 450 SLC

Car revved for days and had the best exhaust note of any car I've ever owned.

 

[JonBHappy]

In the UK, the Ford Capri, they still look good (IMO) and you can still hear their camshaft going a mile off.

 

[KimGordon67]

Then there's the ones that drive precisely as badly as you expect.

https://images.honestjohn.co.uk/imagecache/url/crop/750x500/i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTA2N1gxNjAw/z/wHwAAOSwANZgolXS/_DOLLAR__3.JPG___.jpg

My first ever car was a Triumph Herald - basically a metal box with an engine in it, and some things that were sort of seats. Suffice to say that it did not like going fast. Although it was a sturdy wee thing - everyone involved in that particular accident walked away unscathed.

 

[JonBHappy]

Then there's the ones that drive precisely as badly as you expect.

https://images.honestjohn.co.uk/imagecache/url/crop/750x500/i.ebayimg.com/00/s/MTA2N1gxNjAw/z/wHwAAOSwANZgolXS/_DOLLAR__3.JPG___.jpg

My first ever car was a Triumph Herald - basically a metal box with an engine in it, and some things that were sort of seats. Suffice to say that it did not like going fast. Although it was a sturdy wee thing - everyone involved in that particular accident walked away unscathed.

They loved to rust from the ground up!

 

[doowdniw]

Fiero - an appropriately named car.