Sexless Marriages

[Booboobear84]

Lol. I suspect actual Kim Gordon has better things to do than hanging out in dodgy corners of the interweb

Your user name always gets my attention because someone with that name used to work for me, and she might hang around dodgy parts of the net.

 

[KimGordon67]

Your user name always gets my attention because someone with that name used to work for me, and she might hang around dodgy parts of the net.

I'm pretty confident I'm not her.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Lol. I suspect actual Kim Gordon has better things to do than hanging out in dodgy corners of the interweb

Dodgy??? are you calling us dodgy??? we're just an eclectic collection of kink-masters, fantasy imagineers, and wannabe sex fiends!

Thanks for sharing your story and letting us know there are other possibilities for happiness beyond the institution of marriage!

Hope you continue to have fun exploring and enjoying your sexual adventures, wherever they may take you.

 

[PMarky]

My wife is 10 years or so older than I am, and we have been married for over 20 years. Four years ago she developed an auto-immune disease that attacks the skin in the mouth and vagina as a result of taking blood pressure medication. As you can imagine sex dwindled as the condition worsened. I coped quite well so long as I had the idea in my head that she would get, if not exactly well, then certainly better. Every now and again when she does feels better for a few days she wants to try, but it always ends up being painful for her and frustrating for me. I have exchanged what was a happy marriage for a medically induced purgatory. I still love my wife, but dealing with the emotional rollercoaster is exhausting. There are days when between the pain and the depression she is almost a stranger.

Am I tempted to play away? The truth is - yes. It would be nice to have a female friend who understood, but there are dangers with such an arrangement beyond the rather obvious consideration that it would, if done with out permission, be barefaced cheating.

 

[LustyScribe]

Dodgy??? are you calling us dodgy??? we're just an eclectic collection of kink-masters, fantasy imagineers, and wannabe sex fiends!

Thanks for sharing your story and letting us know there are other possibilities for happiness beyond the institution of marriage!

Hope you continue to have fun exploring and enjoying your sexual adventures, wherever they may take you.

LOL I gotta remember to add that to my resume: Kink-Master, Fantasy Imagineer, and Wannabe Sex Fiend. That should bring the jobs in!

 

[Cherry_Brandy]

LOL I gotta remember to add that to my resume: Kink-Master, Fantasy Imagineer, and Wannabe Sex Fiend. That should bring the jobs in!

I think I'll try it too but I could be a bit stuck on answers at the interview stage .... I better start studying the boards

 

[MrGoatee]

My wife is 10 years or so older than I am, and we have been married for over 20 years. Four years ago shed developed an auto-immune disease that attacks the skin in the mouth and vagina as a result of taking blood pressure medication. As you can imagine sex dwindled as the condition worsened. I coped quite well so long as I had the idea in my head that she would get of not exactly well, then certainly better. Every now and again when she feels better for a few days she wants to try, but it always ends up being painful for her and frustrating for me. I have exchanged what was a happy marriage for a medically induced purgatory. I still love my wife, but dealing with the emotional rollercoaster is exhausting. There are days when between the pain and the depression she is almost a stranger.

Am I tempted to play away? The truth is - yes. It would be nice to have a female friend who understood but there are dangers with such an arrangement beyond the rather obvious consideration that it would, if done with out permission, but barefaced cheating.

Agree with you totally, am in a similar situation. I love to cuddle but that leads to arousal, which leads to frustration. My mood then dips, I become pretty difficult, not angry or miserable but a bit withdrawn. I woukd love to find a woman with a similar situation, where we meet to connect on a physical level, be friends and lovers but always knowing home is the important place.

To act with that spark. I miss it

 

[LustyScribe]

I think I'll try it too but I could be a bit stuck on answers at the interview stage .... I better start studying the boards

Then again, that might actually be all you need to secure the job!

 

[Lost_Yonder]

LOL I gotta remember to add that to my resume: Kink-Master, Fantasy Imagineer, and Wannabe Sex Fiend. That should bring the jobs in!

I think I'll try it too but I could be a bit stuck on answers at the interview stage .... I better start studying the boards

That right there provides some enticing fodder for a most intriguing job interview!

 

[JDredd711]

I think I'll try it too but I could be a bit stuck on answers at the interview stage .... I better start studying the boards

I'm available for tutoring!

 

[LustyScribe]

That right there provides some enticing fodder for a most intriguing job interview!

LostYonder, I'm just telling you, if CherryBrandy had that on her resume and I was interviewing her, she'd have the keys to the executive lounge before she left!

 

[jamanzz]

been awhile

Been nearly three years and no action in the bedroom. None - zero - zip.

I am just craving physical human contact.

She's a great mom and wife up to the sexy time part. Wont cheat on her so its just me, the web, my imagination and manual operation.

 

[NoUseForAnyName]

What saddens me most currently is that I have tried to adress this issue with my wife twice already...to no avail. She cannot (or will not) really say why she won't have sex with me. Next thing might be counselling but I see my sexual needs far from being fulfilled...and I think it might end our marriage in the long run. =(

 

[KimGordon67]

What saddens me most currently is that I have tried to adress this issue with my wife twice already...to no avail. She cannot (or will not) really say why she won't have sex with me. Next thing might be counselling but I see my sexual needs far from being fulfilled...and I think it might end our marriage in the long run. =(

Do the counselling. She may not even really know why she doesn't want to have sex with you.
(This is from someone who was in that position for years - I really have no idea what was going on. I just didn't want to have sex. We definitely should have gone to counselling, but we didn't ... what actually got me over it is probably not a desirable solution for most people.)

 

[gabesdadd]

What saddens me most currently is that I have tried to adress this issue with my wife twice already...to no avail. She cannot (or will not) really say why she won't have sex with me. Next thing might be counselling but I see my sexual needs far from being fulfilled...and I think it might end our marriage in the long run. =(

Just told her tonight I am the only one interested in intimacy. Crickets...

 

[Cherry_Brandy]

LostYonder, I'm just telling you, if CherryBrandy had that on her resume and I was interviewing her, she'd have the keys to the executive lounge before she left!

All these years and I've been getting my CV's totally wrong. Do you have a position available? It's been years since I was in the executive lounge

 

[quietlylooking]

What do you do when you are married to your best friend, and while he is loving, kind, caring, and cuddly (and someone I want to always have in my life), he no longer wants sex of any kind? He did discuss with his doctor (who is also mine), and there doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong.

 

[fat_and_balding]

What do you do when you are married to your best friend, and while he is loving, kind, caring, and cuddly (and someone I want to always have in my life), he no longer wants sex of any kind? He did discuss with his doctor (who is also mine), and there doesn't seem to be anything physically wrong.

I am sure you weren’t looking for a snarky comment, so I’ll just say I think if someone has the answer, there would be many that would be interested in it. I can think of a few unsatisfactory options ... does he acknowledge the issue? Would he be willing to discuss alternatives?

 

[LustyScribe]

All these years and I've been getting my CV's totally wrong. Do you have a position available? It's been years since I was in the executive lounge

Honey, I don't have an executive lounge, but I'd love to interview you in a position or three. I mean, FOR a pos-, no, wait, I had it right the first time! LOL Then I guess we'd both drop out of this thread, at least for a while.

 

[quietlylooking]

I am sure you weren’t looking for a snarky comment, so I’ll just say I think if someone has the answer, there would be many that would be interested in it. I can think of a few unsatisfactory options ... does he acknowledge the issue? Would he be willing to discuss alternatives?

He does acknowledge the issue. I've come close to discussing alternatives, but I don't want to hurt him or our marriage, which otherwise is very strong. So I repress this side of me, for the most part, which has taken some toll on me, I think.

 

[LustyScribe]

He does acknowledge the issue. I've come close to discussing alternatives, but I don't want to hurt him or our marriage, which otherwise is very strong. So I repress this side of me, for the most part, which has taken some toll on me, I think.

Been there before. We've had "the talk" a few times, and for a long time, I got "I'm going to try to change." I offered support: Bought books, offered to do counseling, etc. She never put forth an iota of effort because, honestly, she doesn't care for sex and I don't think she cares about my "problem" of needing it. The last talk we had, she essentially let it be known that this was never going to change, and I was left realizing that that aspect of our marriage is over. So now I try not to even look at her when she is changing. I'm trying to distance myself. In 4 years, our youngest graduates, and then I may be packing up right after graduation. I hate that idea, but I feel I am dying of starvation in the middle of a grocery store.

 

[gabesdadd]

Been there before. We've had "the talk" a few times, and for a long time, I got "I'm going to try to change." I offered support: Bought books, offered to do counseling, etc. She never put forth an iota of effort because, honestly, she doesn't care for sex and I don't think she cares about my "problem" of needing it. The last talk we had, she essentially let it be known that this was never going to change, and I was left realizing that that aspect of our marriage is over. So now I try not to even look at her when she is changing. I'm trying to distance myself. In 4 years, our youngest graduates, and then I may be packing up right after graduation. I hate that idea, but I feel I am dying of starvation in the middle of a grocery store.

I feel your pain. My wife always has an excuse. She’s tired. She worked outside. Headache, BoE meeting she must watch, etc. But man did she fuck like a rabbit when she wanted a baby.

 

[knowhow7890]

Do the counselling. She may not even really know why she doesn't want to have sex with you.
(This is from someone who was in that position for years - I really have no idea what was going on. I just didn't want to have sex. We definitely should have gone to counselling, but we didn't ... what actually got me over it is probably not a desirable solution for most people.)

I concur, counselling is a must as it may open up communication that you never thought possible. It might not solve the issues but it helps you try to communicate the issues that need resolving, and also if it doesn't work out, the communication channels may promote a more friendly way of moving forward.

 

[Cherry_Brandy]

I'm available for tutoring!

Your name just makes me laugh. The older English contingent may remember an English reggae and ska musician who went by the name of Judge Dread. I think he still holds the record for the most music banned by the BBC.

Anyways ....... this is a rather solemn board but I'm sure many of us have the 'I'll laugh or I'll cry' attitude, so here's a tune, inappropriately appropriate (or vice versa) which may make you smile.

https://youtu.be/R6jWYJjU2mM

 

[pennst8er91]

but I feel I am dying of starvation in the middle of a grocery store.

Wow, what a perfect way of putting it.