Can a story ever be too descriptive?

[KateHarris]

Hi all,

An oft mentioned complaint in the literotica space happens to be that, a certain story ISN'T too descriptive.

Do you think the reverse can ever be true? Do you think there's a possibility that a story has too little substance and the author compensates for it with overtly descriptive sex scenes? Have you personally ever come across such a story?

Do comment down below and lemme know what you think!!!

 

[HeyAll]

Yes for sure, because people care more about plot than all of the unecessary details.

Here's a good article that I recently read about descriptions.

http://www.glimmertrain.com/bulletins/essays/b113geni.php

I met this author many years ago at her book signing. Nice person.

 

[KateHarris]

Alright, thanks for the reply. Will keep that in mind.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Yes for sure, because people care more about plot than all of the unecessary details.

Here's a good article that I recently read about descriptions.

http://www.glimmertrain.com/bulletins/essays/b113geni.php

That is a good article. Description isn't just piling lots of adjectives onto your plot - it's about evoking the whole atmosphere of the situation.

A sex scene with no plot can be very interesting if it covers all five senses, how the characters move, what they were thinking before they got it together, how they are together, what they think about what is going on, how the sensations change...

Two adjectives before every noun and an adverb with every verb - generally not so good.

 

[NotWise]

Hi all,

An oft mentioned complaint in the literotica space happens to be that, a certain story ISN'T too descriptive.

Do you think the reverse can ever be true? Do you think there's a possibility that a story has too little substance and the author compensates for it with overtly descriptive sex scenes? Have you personally ever come across such a story?

Do comment down below and lemme know what you think!!!

I don't know if it's because the story has too little substance, but it's very possible for authors to put more details into sex scenes than some readers want, or to put in the wrong details for some readers.

Maybe it's just me, but I think male authors often concentrate on mechanical details of sex more than how it feels, or how it works emotionally. That might be natural because men are so often responsible for getting those details right so that it works for themselves and their partner.

Some readers--especially women--may not want to read those details. They might prefer to know more about the reasons and sensations. Other readers will be completely different. They may revel in the detail.

In the more general question of whether a story can contain too much description (which may not be your question) I think the answer is an emphatic "Yes." Descriptions of settings and actions can completely destroy the pace of a story and knock readers way out of where you want them to be.

 

[KateHarris]

I don't know if it's because the story has too little substance, but it's very possible for authors to put more details into sex scenes than some readers want, or to put in the wrong details for some readers.

Maybe it's just me, but I think male authors often concentrate on mechanical details of sex more than how it feels, or how it works emotionally. That might be natural because men are so often responsible for getting those details right so that it works for themselves and their partner.

Some readers--especially women--may not want to read those details. They might prefer to know more about the reasons and sensations. Other readers will be completely different. They may revel in the detail.

In the more general question of whether a story can contain too much description (which may not be your question) I think the answer is an emphatic "Yes." Descriptions of settings and actions can completely destroy the pace of a story and knock readers way out of where you want them to be.

That's a great reply. I'd love to know your take on spontaneous stories, the kind that play out in the duration of 1 day or 1 evening. The actual plot is often quite short in such stories and it's more about the action that takes place.

Is it okay to pour in more words into the sex scene in such stories??

 

[RejectReality]

Little substance and deeply descriptive sex scenes is my wheelhouse in this name. It's worked out pretty well for me. One of the motivations to create this pen name was to have a place for all the ideas that didn't really have enough meat on the bones.

 

[AlphaLyon]

I like to keep my character descriptions vague so that the reader can imagine someone they fantasize about fulfilling that role.
Everything else, describe describe describe. haha

 

[TadOverdon]

Not if it's well-written. Some people will enjoy it and other people won't.

 

[PriestOfIshtar]

In good fiction, every sentence accomplishes at least one of three things; in great fiction most sentences accomplish 2-3 of these.

• Advance the plot
• Develop character
• Establish setting

"Description" can easily accomplish all three, but it depends on what is being described!

Describing an apartment reveals the character of the person who lives there, and may emphasize the details that become plot points.

Describing action at the very least clarifies character and plot.

But endless physical detail that doesn't have any narrative motion to it can lead a reader to glaze over and skip ahead... and then you've written words that are all wasted anyways.

But.

This is erotica. People are not expecting or looking for great fiction. They are looking for sexy fiction, and as others have pointed out, what is sexy to one person may leave the next one cold.

Conclusion: write what feels sexy to you! Have fun imagining, and you will connect with people who share your interests.

 

[TadOverdon]

Hemingway, among other 20th century writers of note, managed to make a substantial impression on readers while eschewing many of the prose techniques previously widely used in description.

 

[NotWise]

That's a great reply. I'd love to know your take on spontaneous stories, the kind that play out in the duration of 1 day or 1 evening. The actual plot is often quite short in such stories and it's more about the action that takes place.

Is it okay to pour in more words into the sex scene in such stories??

Normally those would be strokers, and they consist of little but sex. The sex needs to be described in enough detail to get the reader off. That's all some people want to read. Other people want to know the characters before there's sex, and there's every color in between.

Stories that complete in a day or an evening don't have to be strokers. One of my recent stories ("Finding the Fourth Girl") is a Group Sex story that takes place in one night. It focuses on a relationship. The main event doesn't start until quite a ways into the story, but there are a lot of short side trips before that.

 

[RejectReality]

Somewhere or other, C. S. Lewis mentioned the art of making one well-chosen word do in the place of several words.

As far as what readers are looking when they read erotica, I've found something that is interesting to me. I have four stories on Lit, three of which are character-driven, delving into emotions and motives, as well as having a lot of explicit sex. I have another story which is actually four short vignettes simply designed to be stroke stories. I've been honored by good ratings, but the lowest ratings are for the stroke stories. So it seems that even when reading erotica, a lot of readers are still looking for good writing with believable characters and interesting plots.

I wouldn't totally attribute that to the stroke nature of the stories. Anthologies of unconnected stories in a single submission are far outside the norm. Extremely short stuff also doesn't do particularly well. There's a lot working against those stroker shorts that has nothing to do with them being sex heavy and plot/characterization lite.

 

[DanDraper]

I personally prefer a descriptive story to go along with it. It helps to setup the situation and make it more fun.
I've seen some stories that get to the sex scene after a few paragraphs, so there was no build up to any of it. It takes the fun out of it all.

Although there is a limit as some stories tend to go too descriptive before they reach it reaches its conclusion. I've seen plenty where the story just went on and on, with nothing to show for it. Sometimes the long stories do work out if its written well, but other times it seems too long-winded and not worth the time to read it.

 

[lovecraft68]

Somewhere or other, C. S. Lewis mentioned the art of making one well-chosen word do in the place of several words.

As far as what readers are looking when they read erotica, I've found something that is interesting to me. I have four stories on Lit, three of which are character-driven, delving into emotions and motives, as well as having a lot of explicit sex. I have another story which is actually four short vignettes simply designed to be stroke stories. I've been honored by good ratings, but the lowest ratings are for the stroke stories. So it seems that even when reading erotica, a lot of readers are still looking for good writing with believable characters and interesting plots.

That could be because you became a victim of your own success. There are plenty of readers who enjoy long slow burn stories that still deliver the XXX and in every genre. I've built quite a base doing it, especially in I/T.

But the thing with readers is they lock onto someone who writes what they like to the point that when you want to switch it up, they're not happy.

I did a very stroky 7k story(very short for me) where the mom/son were already in an ongoing sexual relationship and the story was them fooling around while she was on the phone with the father, its a good .20 beneath my average and I ever got a comment saying

"Now that you got that out of your system, can you get back to the longer stories?"

So I wouldn't let the score be the judge of your stroker.

 

[shewantsmore]

I do like a good story,it needs depth and a good story line, ,if its just sex i get bored ,i like a story if possible to both describe the characters and describe the sex ,a good balance

 

[Bramblethorn]

Do you think the reverse can ever be true? Do you think there's a possibility that a story has too little substance and the author compensates for it with overtly descriptive sex scenes? Have you personally ever come across such a story?

Absolutely, though I'm not sure it's linked to "too little substance". A story can be substantial and still suffer from over-description.

Some of the ways in which too much description can be a bad thing:

- It can mess with the pacing.
- It can pull the reader into the wrong level of the story. If the strength of the scene is in the nuanced emotions going through the protag's head, a paragraph-long description of the size, shape, colour, and texture of her breasts is counterproductive because it yoinks my focus away from what matters.
- It's easy to get repetitive, especially for authors who have very specific tastes.
- Some readers prefer to fill in blanks with their own preferences.

 

[lovecraft68]

If the strength of the scene is in the nuanced emotions going through the protag's head, a paragraph-long description of the size, shape, colour, and texture of her breasts is counterproductive because it yoinks my focus away from what matters.
.

This makes me think of the hotbed topic of "stats" not just as in using specific measurements, but as you said getting carried away with it.

"Ample" breasts can save a lot of time and it lets the reader decide what ample is in their mind's eye.

 

[SamScribble]

I think the answer is sometimes to be found in what is being described. 'The sound of the brewery dray dull-thudding on the cobblestones' may be more helpful that the fact that 'she had blue eyes, but not bright blue, not pale blue'.

 

[gunhilltrain]

You can over-describe things if you are John Updike, but he usually pulls it off (except when he had about three pages about an amateur golf match). In the "Rabbit" novels, he describes the city of Brewer, actually his hometown of Reading, PA, in such detail that it becomes a character in itself.

However, most of us are not Updike. We have to be more selective in what we chose to include. Like I don't try to describe the interiors and the staff of every bar and restaurant my characters might be in. Updike would do that.

 

[lovecraft68]

I think the answer is sometimes to be found in what is being described. 'The sound of the brewery dray dull-thudding on the cobblestones' may be more helpful that the fact that 'she had blue eyes, but not bright blue, not pale blue'.

Ocean Blue, Baby Blue, Electric Blue, Ice blue...plenty of easy one additional word ways to describe eyes.

 

[AlphaLyon]

When doing descriptions, I like to use synesthetic descriptors to hit two senses at once while trying to be a little less obvious, allowing the reader to bring their own perspective to the interpretation.

His lover's whimper sounded of amber light in his ears.

or

She tasted of lavender honey and warm summer days.

I also try to "bucket" my descriptors, especially with body parts.

penis - clinical
dick - simple appendage, usually smaller or in a limp state, belonging to submissive
cock - raging hardon or larger appendage, belonging to dominant.

The important thing is, if a descriptor is important or is a factor in the visualization of something critical, that it is given early enough. Nothing worse than visualizing a character/location one way, only to have it blatantly negated later on.

 

[SimonDoom]

Yes, a story can be too descriptive. The purpose of description is to set the scene and establish character. There's no point in describing the wallpaper in a room if it doesn't advance the story in some way.

 

[SyleusSnow]

This is a helpful thread!

Recently I've been dialing back descriptions of both setting and characters to the bare minimum, under the premise that details should be more like an impressionist sketch than a photograph: give enough to put the reader in the scene while allowing space for their mind's eye to fill in the details.

More detail is needed for stories set in different times or worlds, but so I've only set stories in contemporary urban and rural settings.

I tried this with my latest story Like No One's Watching, describing an old apartment building and the characters with as little specific detail as I could.

And just now I got an anonymous comment complaining the sex wasn't detailed enough. For sex I've tried emphasizing the emotion and less of the mechanics and clinical detail, which readers have said they appreciated.

Like Bramblethorn notes, lurid detail of body parts and multi-page sex scenes placing elbows here and tongues there like a play-by-play of a pornhub skit is counterproductive. But maybe I left too much out this time.

 

[NotWise]

This is a helpful thread!

Recently I've been dialing back descriptions of both setting and characters to the bare minimum, under the premise that details should be more like an impressionist sketch than a photograph: give enough to put the reader in the scene while allowing space for their mind's eye to fill in the details.

More detail is needed for stories set in different times or worlds, but so I've only set stories in contemporary urban and rural settings.

I tried this with my latest story Like No One's Watching, describing an old apartment building and the characters with as little specific detail as I could.

And just now I got an anonymous comment complaining the sex wasn't detailed enough. For sex I've tried emphasizing the emotion and less of the mechanics and clinical detail, which readers have said they appreciated.

Like Bramblethorn notes, lurid detail of body parts and multi-page sex scenes placing elbows here and tongues there like a play-by-play of a pornhub skit is counterproductive. But maybe I left too much out this time.

Don't read too much into that one comment. It made me roll my eyes.