How to Get Feedback for Less Popular Category?

[Justsocks621]

Hi!

I just recently started to write and post stories on Literotica. One of the main reasons I did was to try to grow as a writer. The problem I've been having is that my stories focus on a rather specific fetish, and I can't seem to get any comments or feedback on my stories. Am I just being impatient? Is there a better way to get more constructive criticism?

Also, I would appreciate any feedback anyone might have for me to improve! Find my stories Here.

Thank you!!!

 

[astushkin]

Upfront I'll note that this is not my fetish. This feedback is from someone who writes multipage historical erotica and is admittedly OCD about words. I read chapter 1 of Dear Olive.

You clearly have a gift for word craft. Your sentence structure and vocabulary are varied, which makes it an enjoyable read. For me the gems were "baseless", "veiled little slit", and "delicate, elegant filth." The last one in particular caught my "ear" because of the alliteration of delicate and elegant, and their similar 3 syllable structures. In fact, the opening letter was wonderful. Also really liked this passage too for the overblown erotic emotion:

...I shuddered in an overflow of desire. It was like a dark nebula in space, that was shocked through with vast, distant pulses of primordial life. The seeds of whole galaxies seemed to flit through my nearly delirious mind every time she shifted her toes even slightly.

My "criticisms" would be that it wasn't until the second half of the story that I knew that the main character was a male. That may not matter for some readers, but I felt tentative about investing erotically in the story not knowing whether this was a lesbian or heterosexual encounter. Early on when the narrator mentions having a "hard time making friends with other guys"...I thought the character might be male, although nowadays, "guys" is a more gender neutral term. Then when he spun on the stripper pole, I thought he was a female. In retrospect, that image would have been more comedic had I known it was a male.

My other observation is about the details of their encounter on the couch. To improve visualization of the scene such things as: when she put her boot beside him, was it on the seat of the couch, the armrest, or the couch back? That tells the reader more about the angle of her thigh and what might be visible under her dress. Also it got confusing as to whether the sock(s) was/were on or off her foot...since this is the story's fetish, it might warrant more description. Once he was blindfolded, this seems like an opportunity to emphasize his other senses. Instead of "I heard her slip out of her dress" you might put more details about the sound of the zipper, cloth sliding on skin, etc. Also, how does he know she pulled her panties off if he's blindfolded? How does he know it's the sock and not some other item of clothing she stuffed in his mouth...you might describe his realization from the taste, scent, and texture.

In the 4th to last paragraph, you have three sentences close together that begin with "I felt..." If intentional, ie poetic repetition, you might call them out a little more, maybe with ellipses. I sometimes do that: "He heard her intake of breath...he heard her sigh...and he heard her entreating whisper."

All in all, a very nice first story.

 

[Justsocks621]

Upfront I'll note that this is not my fetish. This feedback is from someone who writes multipage historical erotica and is admittedly OCD about words. I read chapter 1 of Dear Olive.

You clearly have a gift for word craft. Your sentence structure and vocabulary are varied, which makes it an enjoyable read. For me the gems were "baseless", "veiled little slit", and "delicate, elegant filth." The last one in particular caught my "ear" because of the alliteration of delicate and elegant, and their similar 3 syllable structures. In fact, the opening letter was wonderful. Also really liked this passage too for the overblown erotic emotion:

...I shuddered in an overflow of desire. It was like a dark nebula in space, that was shocked through with vast, distant pulses of primordial life. The seeds of whole galaxies seemed to flit through my nearly delirious mind every time she shifted her toes even slightly.

My "criticisms" would be that it wasn't until the second half of the story that I knew that the main character was a male. That may not matter for some readers, but I felt tentative about investing erotically in the story not knowing whether this was a lesbian or heterosexual encounter. Early on when the narrator mentions having a "hard time making friends with other guys"...I thought the character might be male, although nowadays, "guys" is a more gender neutral term. Then when he spun on the stripper pole, I thought he was a female. In retrospect, that image would have been more comedic had I known it was a male.

My other observation is about the details of their encounter on the couch. To improve visualization of the scene such things as: when she put her boot beside him, was it on the seat of the couch, the armrest, or the couch back? That tells the reader more about the angle of her thigh and what might be visible under her dress. Also it got confusing as to whether the sock(s) was/were on or off her foot...since this is the story's fetish, it might warrant more description. Once he was blindfolded, this seems like an opportunity to emphasize his other senses. Instead of "I heard her slip out of her dress" you might put more details about the sound of the zipper, cloth sliding on skin, etc. Also, how does he know she pulled her panties off if he's blindfolded? How does he know it's the sock and not some other item of clothing she stuffed in his mouth...you might describe his realization from the taste, scent, and texture.

In the 4th to last paragraph, you have three sentences close together that begin with "I felt..." If intentional, ie poetic repetition, you might call them out a little more, maybe with ellipses. I sometimes do that: "He heard her intake of breath...he heard her sigh...and he heard her entreating whisper."

All in all, a very nice first story.

Thank you! I really appreciate the feedback. I understand the criticisms, and didn't consider explicitly referencing the gender of the main character. Also, definitely going to get more descriptive. Thanks so much for taking the time to read it!

 

[ElectricBlue]

I just recently started to write and post stories on Literotica. One of the main reasons I did was to try to grow as a writer. The problem I've been having is that my stories focus on a rather specific fetish, and I can't seem to get any comments or feedback on my stories. Am I just being impatient? Is there a better way to get more constructive criticism?

If it's a niche fetish the only way to get more feedback is to write more, and bring your stories to this forum. You'll have a limited audience (like-minded niche fetishists) so you have to grow that audience. You've got three stories so yes, a tad impatient - get a dozen out there and you could still be waiting.

My experience (from six years and just on a million words across a dozen categories) is that you can expect one comment per thousand views, unless you're really good or really bad - readers will let you know.

Hang in there, write more, expand your horizons. Writing more is the key. Good luck.

 

[ElectricBlue]

You can write. Seriously fucking write. You're good.

Oh, god, the taste of her delicate, elegant filth flooded my mouth.

is, indeed, a superb, precisely tuned sentence. And the description of Olive when we first meet her - the little detail of the boots - perfect.

Keep writing with observations like that, with sentences like those, and you'll get followers. My advice, though, is don't limit yourself to a single fetish. Get a bunch of those written and out of your system, then stretch your legs. You can write whatever you want. This might be the kiss of death, but you're a writer's writer, in the sense that fellow writers will see what you're doing, but your average porn reader might not.

Astushkin must have missed the letter writer's name - Goldmund is a man's name, albeit rare to see, nowadays. I'm thinking it's your Hermann Hesse reference - see what I mean about writers?

 

[astushkin]

Actually, I noticed the name Goldmund, but since it's also a surname, I thought it was the character's last name. I admit that I was unfamiliar with Hesse's character, but I've never been a fan of Hesse after reading Steppenwolf.

 

[Justsocks621]

Thanks for the advice, electricblue66. Also, so cool you got the reference for Goldmund. One of my favorite books, and has some really good sensual/erotic sections. I'll be more patient, and try to expand my horizons

 

[gunhilltrain]

Actually, you got pretty good scores on your first three stories, and they are getting better.

It's very hard to get comments or feedback on any story, regardless of the content or subject matter. I guess people are just distracted. Of course, there is always Loving Wives, where you will get too many comments.

It's a pretty narrow fetish - I've barely heard of it. Do you have something else in your quiver you'd like to write about for the sake of variety?

 

[Tubesocklover]

Hi!

I just recently started to write and post stories on Literotica. One of the main reasons I did was to try to grow as a writer. The problem I've been having is that my stories focus on a rather specific fetish, and I can't seem to get any comments or feedback on my stories. Am I just being impatient? Is there a better way to get more constructive criticism?

Also, I would appreciate any feedback anyone might have for me to improve! Find my stories Here.

Thank you!!!

Sent you a pm!

 

[lovecraft68]

As Val Kilmer says in Tombstone, I'm your huckleberry.

The fetish is in my wheelhouse as being a fan of all things feet.

I read the first chapter of Dear Olive and thought it was damn good.

Your writing is fine, very descriptive without being wordy, and you have some clever turns of phrases.

Where it's at its best is the description of the fetish. There are instances of fake it until you make in writing, especially in erotica, and most people, if they put their mind to it can come up with a decent sex scene because we've all experienced sex

But when it comes to a particular fetish its easy to see who has the kink and the understanding of it, and who is just guessing at what works, and you certainly know what works.

Only thing that jarred me a little was I think Olive might have a glandular problem of sorts because that's a lot of sweat...enough to soak a sock and have it dripping? maybe she ran a marathon first?

That's a very minor nitpick and most likely most readers will thing it just exaggerates the kink so its not a big issue.

Even with that...this

Oh, god, the taste of her delicate, elegant filth flooded my mouth. I pushed my tongue back and forth across the toe of her sock, milking her sweat out from between every last stitch. I felt it drip down my throat, mixed with my saliva.

Great work there...Elegant filth...love that term.

As to your question about readership, other than continuing to add stories to build a base, not much you can do. Fetish is not a hugely read category and because its so varied and there's no sub categories its kind of a hit or miss to find what you want, so work the tags as best you can for those who search for not just feet, but the sweaty sock kink.

 

[variscite32]

I can relate to that:

Hi. I'm new to this site too. I joined less than a few days ago.
I can completely relate to what you said. I have submitted several poems of mine and a few stories. I'm doing the waiting game too for feedback from the Submissions people. I really have gotten excited to finally join
I'm so passionate about writing stuff in general, so hopefully this goes well.
I'd love to read one of your writings and give you feedback!