Moochie’s Mementos (and a pic or two)

[Moochienanu]

I’ve been thinking about a thing.
It’s a sensitive subject, so I don’t know if this is really the place for it...

But seriously, what is it about balding that makes men upset/insecure?

It’s not like you have any control over it.
It doesn’t make you less attractive, I mean, if anything it’s like the grey that makes you look more distinguished.
It doesn’t mean your personality changed (you know, the part that makes me want you).
Your head hair, or lack of it, doesn’t have anything to do with how masculine or manly other people perceive you.

Also, most of your target demographic is short (like me), so even in heels we will likely not be seeing that side of you unless it is between our legs... and we’re not going to be complaining about anything when you’re there.

 

[JasonJe3]

I totally agree with you about the subject of being bald. I myself learned at a young age that there was a likelyhood that I wouldose my hair because of family history. So, I came to peace with it a long long time ago. I did not fight it, did not do comb overs or use chemicals. Just shaved it down and embraced it. Honestly I find more women are more attracted to the look of a clean shaven head then when I had a full head of hair.

 

[Frankjba1]

I also started losing my hair at a young age and decided not to fight a receding hair line. Thankfully I have a decent shaped dome so shaving my head wasn't a big issue. My friends teased me for a bit, but I didn't really care. Haven't paid for a hair cut or hair products in over a decade.

 

[y=mx+b]

Speaking for myself I've little to no problem with the reality that I've lost hair and am still in the process of it.

I'll even play it up. Like when it grows out I'll run my fingers through it and make what i have left stand on end all crazy like.

Friends and family get a kick out of it. I love adopting the mad professor/Jack Nicholson from The Shining character.

I'll twiddle with the few strands that continue to grow on the top of my head like a child poking at a loose tooth still too attached to be pulled out and be all like COME ON ALREADY!!!

The me inside of me fucking loves it!!!

But then... I'll see a picture of me (even ones I've taken of myself) and I'm like... oh jesus christ.

It's like hearing my voice outside my head and being like, well so... I guess I'm never going to speak again.

But that's not practical so I just accept.
But accepting does little to quell the feelings I feel whenever I see myself outside of myself.

If I were to compare insecurities to what it might be like. I think balding for men is what gaining weight is to women.

I can wax poetically about the virtues of a well figured woman. Much like how a woman can of a man's distinguished greys and receding hairline but doing so does little to quell the longing for how we once had appeared.

 

[Todger65]

Baldness runs in my family, except the oldest brother, probably the milkman’s as he isn’t like rather rest of us I’m many ways.

I had mine cut the other day, one from the left and two from the right,, and it took the hairdresser 10 minutes to find them.

I started losing my hair in my mid twenties, before that I was known as the ‘wild man of Borneo’ wild hair and beard about a foot long. Beard remains fairly thick, now white and trimmed. (Was offered a job as Father Christmas in a store many years ago as I didn’t need the falsie)
I now have a light covering around the back with a few stragglers on top.

I worked with a guy who had nothing on top at all, but had a comb over. If he walked outside with the slightest breeze he held it in place with his hand and the first thing he did when he arrived in the office was to try and hide in a corner with a mirror to comb everything back in place. His hair was thin so it was obvious there was nothing under it. He was mortified if anyone mentioned it whereas me, never bothered at all.

 

[Moochienanu]

I totally agree with you about the subject of being bald. I myself learned at a young age that there was a likelyhood that I wouldose my hair because of family history. So, I came to peace with it a long long time ago. I did not fight it, did not do comb overs or use chemicals. Just shaved it down and embraced it. Honestly I find more women are more attracted to the look of a clean shaven head then when I had a full head of hair.

I think (read: hope) the combover is no longer done... I mean, Edward James Olmos proved it’s a terrible idea in Stand and Deliver well over 30 years ago. I don’t know if completely shaving everything is the best idea for all men, but I definitely know the confidence in whatever decision made in appearance has a lot to do with the attraction of other people (showing that personality has more to do with it than physical appearance).

 

[Moochienanu]

I also started losing my hair at a young age and decided not to fight a receding hair line. Thankfully I have a decent shaped dome so shaving my head wasn't a big issue. My friends teased me for a bit, but I didn't really care. Haven't paid for a hair cut or hair products in over a decade.

See, it’s the teasing bit between men that I don’t get. Keeping your hair or deciding to go bald is a choice we make- like whether to get a tattoo, we choose what we like. I got a PM about how hair for men, is and will always be associated with virility, but I don’t know if I could ever accept that as an answer to why guys tease other guys for balding... insights anyone?

 

[Moochienanu]

Speaking for myself I've little to no problem with the reality that I've lost hair and am still in the process of it.

I'll even play it up. Like when it grows out I'll run my fingers through it and make what i have left stand on end all crazy like.

Friends and family get a kick out of it. I love adopting the mad professor/Jack Nicholson from The Shining character.

I'll twiddle with the few strands that continue to grow on the top of my head like a child poking at a loose tooth still too attached to be pulled out and be all like COME ON ALREADY!!!

The me inside of me fucking loves it!!!

But then... I'll see a picture of me (even ones I've taken of myself) and I'm like... oh jesus christ.

It's like hearing my voice outside my head and being like, well so... I guess I'm never going to speak again.

But that's not practical so I just accept.
But accepting does little to quell the feelings I feel whenever I see myself outside of myself.

If I were to compare insecurities to what it might be like. I think balding for men is what gaining weight is to women.

I can wax poetically about the virtues of a well figured woman. Much like how a woman can of a man's distinguished greys and receding hairline but doing so does little to quell the longing for how we once had appeared.

I think this bolded last line might hit the mark closest for me. I definitely look back on pictures of myself from years ago and wish I had enjoyed that body while I had it. You get used to seeing certain things in the mirror and when those change, it isn’t always a conscious choice.

I think the weight gain thing is semi-close, but there is still some control over that, whereas the genetics of hairloss is something uncontrollable. I would liken it to female breast size, actually. We have no control over it, and no matter how much we are told our size is what a man prefers, we still dream of them smaller or bigger.

 

[Fingerfuxs]

I’ve been thinking about a thing.
It’s a sensitive subject, so I don’t know if this is really the place for it...

But seriously, what is it about balding that makes men upset/insecure?

It’s not like you have any control over it.
It doesn’t make you less attractive, I mean, if anything it’s like the grey that makes you look more distinguished.
It doesn’t mean your personality changed (you know, the part that makes me want you).
Your head hair, or lack of it, doesn’t have anything to do with how masculine or manly other people perceive you.

Also, most of your target demographic is short (like me), so even in heels we will likely not be seeing that side of you unless it is between our legs... and we’re not going to be complaining about anything when you’re there.

The easy answer would be , it’s a testosterone button to push. That simple.

The more complex answer might be ....bald , crew cut , clean sides strip of fur on the top equates to Cops , prison Guard’s, skin heads , those stereotypes. Generationally speaking for me it’s fun to push their buttons. What are they going to do about ? Bikers , bad guys , pirates and fuckups had long hair and tats.

Combover men listened to their wives and moms and shaved their heads in mass to start the bald look with the masses back in the 90 ‘s . Or they read a article in penthouse amount bald * dudes get more pussy.

But you are right , in the here and now it’s a non issue ......other then to push buttons.

 

[pantyboidoe]

balding doesn't really scare me but the loss of curls on the top of my head would be really disappointing. i've come to terms with the fact that i've been going (edited to change growing to going) gray since my mid-twenties (and will likely be completely gray in the next five years) but the loss of curls would be far more of a let down. but i'm optimistic that they'll stick around! one way or another i'm not overly concerned.

 

[Moochienanu]

Baldness runs in my family, except the oldest brother, probably the milkman’s as he isn’t like rather rest of us I’m many ways.

I had mine cut the other day, one from the left and two from the right,, and it took the hairdresser 10 minutes to find them.

I started losing my hair in my mid twenties, before that I was known as the ‘wild man of Borneo’ wild hair and beard about a foot long. Beard remains fairly thick, now white and trimmed. (Was offered a job as Father Christmas in a store many years ago as I didn’t need the falsie)
I now have a light covering around the back with a few stragglers on top.

I worked with a guy who had nothing on top at all, but had a comb over. If he walked outside with the slightest breeze he held it in place with his hand and the first thing he did when he arrived in the office was to try and hide in a corner with a mirror to comb everything back in place. His hair was thin so it was obvious there was nothing under it. He was mortified if anyone mentioned it whereas me, never bothered at all.

I feel so sorry for men like your old coworker. It must be so exhausting to worry about something like that, that you have no say about, so much.

I think your beard is lovely and white (and you would make a great Father Christmas). This brings up another thing that actually started me thinking about this in the first place- my work is making it mandatory for all people with facial hair to clean shave (they’re siting the need for appropriate PPE) any time they work. I can’t imagine some of the men I know without their beards, it feels almost against nature!

 

[Moochienanu]

The easy answer would be , it’s a testosterone button to push. That simple.

The more complex answer might be ....bald , crew cut , clean sides strip of fur on the top equates to Cops , prison Guard’s, skin heads , those stereotypes. Generationally speaking for me it’s fun to push their buttons. What are they going to do about ? Bikers , bad guys , pirates and fuckups had long hair and tats.

Combover men listened to their wives and moms and shaved their heads in mass to start the bald look with the masses back in the 90 ‘s . Or they read a article in penthouse amount bald * dudes get more pussy.

But you are right , in the here and now it’s a non issue ......other then to push buttons.

Hmmm... I guess I never thought about the connotations of hair cuts/ the choice to shave everything. That is a concept that isn’t really are laterally equivalent for women (except maybe the a-line bob being a “mom” cut?).

The buttons you speak about, do you mind elaborating about them/what the motivation is behind pushing them?

 

[Moochienanu]

balding doesn't really scare me but the loss of curls on the top of my head would be really disappointing. i've come to terms with the fact that i've been going (edited to change growing to going) gray since my mid-twenties (and will likely be completely gray in the next five years) but the loss of curls would be far more of a let down. but i'm optimistic that they'll stick around! one way or another i'm not overly concerned.

I really appreciate you opening up to share your concerns (and lack thereof). It is funny how those who have curls either love them or hate them, isn’t it?

 

[Fingerfuxs]

Hmmm... I guess I never thought about the connotations of hair cuts/ the choice to shave everything. That is a concept that isn’t really are laterally equivalent for women (except maybe the a-line bob being a “mom” cut?).

The buttons you speak about, do you mind elaborating about them/what the motivation is behind pushing them?

A example would be , when a man goes to military boot camp or into lockdown back in my day they shave your head to identify you as fresh fish a newbie. You are either a punk or you fight when someone fucks with you , and they do fuck with you.

That equates a shaved head as a weakling until other wise proven wrong.

Words have meanings , if you see a cop *, or guard, drill Sargent or some fucktard that annoys you after your hairstyle is what you want it to be rather then what the system says it has to be you bark aka piss on there shoes.

Skinheads where the first to shave their head as a testosterone fear factor tactic. When you saw a dude with a shaved head , “ fucking skinhead “ you mumbled under your breath or said out loud to them . Their reply would be , “ fuk’n an A right “ or they would punch you in the face.

How’s that


P.s. there’s also the Eminem factor his lyrics and look making kids look like Stan was a bet between him and snoop they made while smoking chronic in the studio.

Snoop , “ damn white boy that cut they gave you in lock down is dope I bet your glad we got you out before it could grow back “

Dre “ yo white boy we gonna make them kids make that look a fashion statement “

Eminem , grabbing his dick in his left hand , “ fuck yea “
“ I got Fifty that says we can “

The rest is history !

 

[y=mx+b]

See, it’s the teasing bit between men that I don’t get. Keeping your hair or deciding to go bald is a choice we make- like whether to get a tattoo, we choose what we like. I got a PM about how hair for men, is and will always be associated with virility, but I don’t know if I could ever accept that as an answer to why guys tease other guys for balding... insights anyone?

This is something that annoys me. I've a friend. He's got a thick head of hair. Like... absurdly thick. Shaves it off. Religiously. Cue ball.

Looks fucking fantastic. Cannot imagine him otherwise.

I tell my wife I'm going to shave my head. She says "no". I ask her to shave it for me. She says "no". I go into get my haircut. Am asked how I would like it cut and I say "gone" and the women are all like "What?! No. Why?" And I'm like "I see the direction where this is going!" And they laugh and go something like "okay" and get to cutting my hair to which they get to a point and say... "how's this?" And I go "fine..." sensing they can't bring themselves to cue ball it and am forced to compromise with having a little bald boy cut with my sides and back high and tight with my little fuzzies long enough to part to the side. Which is fine with me.

As for virility blah d'da. I am of the opinion that such associations are vestigial archaic beliefs. I know plenty of bald(ing) men having sired plenty-o-offspring. And as for believing they are less attractive to women (and gay men). Penty time and again have proven this to be a fallacy of popular thought.

I will leave it up to you all to make a celebrity list of examples

 

[pantyboidoe]

I really appreciate you opening up to share your concerns (and lack thereof). It is funny how those who have curls either love them or hate them, isn’t it?

hah! my curls are high and tight making them fairly easy to manage - far better than others in my family who have unwieldy curls.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I’ve been thinking about a thing.
It’s a sensitive subject, so I don’t know if this is really the place for it...

But seriously, what is it about balding that makes men upset/insecure?

It’s not like you have any control over it.
It doesn’t make you less attractive, I mean, if anything it’s like the grey that makes you look more distinguished.
It doesn’t mean your personality changed (you know, the part that makes me want you).
Your head hair, or lack of it, doesn’t have anything to do with how masculine or manly other people perceive you.

Also, most of your target demographic is short (like me), so even in heels we will likely not be seeing that side of you unless it is between our legs... and we’re not going to be complaining about anything when you’re there.

As someone who may still face Chemo. I was more scared at the thought of losing my hair, than i was at learning I had Cancer. Like anything, it is a part of what has always defined us. Everything we have, is what makes us. Us. When I approached the subject of a Mastectomy. My boobs have been a part of me my whole life. "Short Sassy with big boobs" Even when I went into find out about a reduction. Ugh. That would feel like losing a part of me. My hair. I've got snap chat. I've seen what I'd look like bald. Not pretty.
So I think for guys. It is also letting go of what has always been a part of them.

Just like me being fat. Here. There are plenty of people that like bigger women. But out in the real world. A little harder to find.
So finding comfort in my being "less than standard society beauty" is often hard.

Society tells me that hair is beautiful. So it's a hard adjustment. Even when women tell them they look great, It is hard to accept.
(that's what the fat example was about)
Society says Skinny is beautiful. So no matter how many times someone says I am, I struggle with it.

 

[Joxlrg]

As someone who may still face Chemo. I was more scared at the thought of losing my hair, than i was at learning I had Cancer. Like anything, it is a part of what has always defined us. Everything we have, is what makes us. Us. When I approached the subject of a Mastectomy. My boobs have been a part of me my whole life. "Short Sassy with big boobs" Even when I went into find out about a reduction. Ugh. That would feel like losing a part of me. My hair. I've got snap chat. I've seen what I'd look like bald. Not pretty.
So I think for guys. It is also letting go of what has always been a part of them.

Just like me being fat. Here. There are plenty of people that like bigger women. But out in the real world. A little harder to find.
So finding comfort in my being "less than standard society beauty" is often hard.

Society tells me that hair is beautiful. So it's a hard adjustment. Even when women tell them they look great, It is hard to accept.
(that's what the fat example was about)
Society says Skinny is beautiful. So no matter how many times someone says I am, I struggle with it.

From the real world:
Sassy your an awesome and sexy woman
Yes. Even without hair !!
Yes even with boob scars !!
To me. It's all about confidence.. You have already shown that it will come back to you
If it hasn't already !!
Stay the Sassy you are..
Gorgeous

 

[Massive Grooves]

why

are you trying

to have a rational discussion

about something

as irrational


as vanity

 

[y=mx+b]

why

are you trying

to have a rational discussion

about something

as irrational


as vanity

Because it's her thread and finds the matter worth discussion?

And so far it has been
A lot of insight has been offered.

 

[Moochienanu]

A example would be , when a man goes to military boot camp or into lockdown back in my day they shave your head to identify you as fresh fish a newbie. You are either a punk or you fight when someone fucks with you , and they do fuck with you.

That equates a shaved head as a weakling until other wise proven wrong.

Words have meanings , if you see a cop *, or guard, drill Sargent or some fucktard that annoys you after your hairstyle is what you want it to be rather then what the system says it has to be you bark aka piss on there shoes.

Skinheads where the first to shave their head as a testosterone fear factor tactic. When you saw a dude with a shaved head , “ fucking skinhead “ you mumbled under your breath or said out loud to them . Their reply would be , “ fuk’n an A right “ or they would punch you in the face.

How’s that


P.s. there’s also the Eminem factor his lyrics and look making kids look like Stan was a bet between him and snoop they made while smoking chronic in the studio.

Snoop , “ damn white boy that cut they gave you in lock down is dope I bet your glad we got you out before it could grow back “

Dre “ yo white boy we gonna make them kids make that look a fashion statement “

Eminem , grabbing his dick in his left hand , “ fuck yea “
“ I got Fifty that says we can “

The rest is history !

So much to unpack here.

Being a US Military brat, I know the life well, and I have never had such a thing said to me before about the haircut. Perhaps it is a generational thing? I just don’t remember any of my friends who went in or my relatives for that matter, being picked on because their haircut said newbie... if anything I remember them needing to get a cut quite often to stay in regs, and I remember so many growing beards and goatees after getting out because they weren’t allowed to have them while in.

I also have never been in places where anyone would mutter a slur like that. I am from the west coast (mainly), and didn’t get a lot of that kind of exposure.

Bleaching your head blonde is what they do to you in prison? I am so confused now... maybe I shouldn’t have poked this bear!

 

[Moochienanu]

This is something that annoys me. I've a friend. He's got a thick head of hair. Like... absurdly thick. Shaves it off. Religiously. Cue ball.

Looks fucking fantastic. Cannot imagine him otherwise.

I tell my wife I'm going to shave my head. She says "no". I ask her to shave it for me. She says "no". I go into get my haircut. Am asked how I would like it cut and I say "gone" and the women are all like "What?! No. Why?" And I'm like "I see the direction where this is going!" And they laugh and go something like "okay" and get to cutting my hair to which they get to a point and say... "how's this?" And I go "fine..." sensing they can't bring themselves to cue ball it and am forced to compromise with having a little bald boy cut with my sides and back high and tight with my little fuzzies long enough to part to the side. Which is fine with me.

As for virility blah d'da. I am of the opinion that such associations are vestigial archaic beliefs. I know plenty of bald(ing) men having sired plenty-o-offspring. And as for believing they are less attractive to women (and gay men). Penty time and again have proven this to be a fallacy of popular thought.

I will leave it up to you all to make a celebrity list of examples

I understand your wife not wanting you to change. After I had him grow it out, my husband only ever shaved his beard once as an April fools joke. No one knew who he was at his job. He didn’t look like any of his IDs, it was kinda nuts. Since he hasn’t shaved. I won’t let him. I would be okay with him shaving his head, though. It’s gotten to the point where he’s going to have to make a decision soon, he’s just having the same misgivings that we’re talking about here.

Now, I don’t get the other women, like your hair dresser, not being game to give you something you want... maybe she thinks you’re kidding because you went to a shop rather than buying your own shaver? It’s a conundrum.

I’ll write us a list of celebrity hot bald guys later

 

[Moochienanu]

As someone who may still face Chemo. I was more scared at the thought of losing my hair, than i was at learning I had Cancer. Like anything, it is a part of what has always defined us. Everything we have, is what makes us. Us. When I approached the subject of a Mastectomy. My boobs have been a part of me my whole life. "Short Sassy with big boobs" Even when I went into find out about a reduction. Ugh. That would feel like losing a part of me. My hair. I've got snap chat. I've seen what I'd look like bald. Not pretty.
So I think for guys. It is also letting go of what has always been a part of them.

Just like me being fat. Here. There are plenty of people that like bigger women. But out in the real world. A little harder to find.
So finding comfort in my being "less than standard society beauty" is often hard.

Society tells me that hair is beautiful. So it's a hard adjustment. Even when women tell them they look great, It is hard to accept.
(that's what the fat example was about)
Society says Skinny is beautiful. So no matter how many times someone says I am, I struggle with it.

You make some great points, Sassy. I think the reason for you to quite possibly lose your hair (chemo) has a few differences because 1) it’s (hopefully) not permanent hair loss, and 2) it is seen as a strength to go through the rigors of cancer. Sure, it still doesn’t make you feel better to think about those things when you’re going through the process of it, but it does make it different than the people who have no hope of growing back their hair.

I do agree, society has such stupid things to say about what is beautiful and what isn’t. It would be so much simpler if we weren’t bombarded by images all the time of what those stickfigure women who swear by Pilates and have had four kids without a single stretch mark next to their Ken doll husbands with their 6-pack abs and full head of hair.

I struggle with how I look too. I don’t think you will find many people who are okay with every aspect of themselves. I think the point is, rather, to try to listen to the people who matter most when they tell us we are sexy and beautiful and have nice butts and beautiful eyes (which you do, btw).

 

[Moochienanu]

From the real world:
Sassy your an awesome and sexy woman
Yes. Even without hair !!
Yes even with boob scars !!
To me. It's all about confidence.. You have already shown that it will come back to you
If it hasn't already !!
Stay the Sassy you are..
Gorgeous

I like the cheerleading, and wholly agree. Sassy is a gorgeous human.

 

[Moochienanu]

why

are you trying

to have a rational discussion

about something

as irrational


as vanity

Because it's her thread and finds the matter worth discussion?

And so far it has been
A lot of insight has been offered.

This is the most actual conversation I think I’ve ever had on one of my threads... well, except maybe at the end of my last thread when we were talking about why some people keep their pictures up and others take them down.

I honestly didn’t expect this would be quite the share that it turned into, but I’ve really enjoyed it.