Sexual tension vs. angry frustration

[astushkin]

Not sure whether this should go here or in Story Feedback. How do you guys sell the slow burn without angering readers? I have a series in Novels/Novellas and one chapter is consistently scoring lower than the others. I'm wondering if readers are angry at the two thwarted erotic scenes -- does that sound plausible? In brief, the story is set in Ireland in the 1790s. The male MC is a prizefighter who was an unwilling participant in a crime against the female MC. After subsequently rescuing her, he falls in love with her, while she hates him and flees him. Now he is working in a pub, still pining for her, when he is propositioned by the two barmaids. (scene starts at end of page 3)

https://www.literotica.com/s/celtic-mist-ch-05?page=3

The next chapter opens with a flashback on his past sexual experiences (triggered by the scent on her clothes), and ends by coming back to the present after rejecting the barmaid's advance. Then he masturbates thinking about the girl he loves. (scene starts middle of page 7)

https://www.literotica.com/s/celtic-mist-ch-06?page=7

I was thinking his rejecting the other girls' advances strengthened the romantic part of the plot, but the reaction via the scores is making me wonder if it just caused angry frustration. Maybe I shouldn't have separated the scenes with the flashback? Or had him give in to temptation?

 

[Voboy]

My recipe for a "slow burn" is a single, long-ish story of about 25k words or so, one which features an escalating series of sexual or near-sexual encounters between the two main characters.

That's the basic recipe. The add-on features include copious humor, first-person writing, and fucking other people to establish a sexual identity and a baseline level of horniness and willingness to perform various acts. I'll VERY often include a power imbalance.

IMO, the existence of "chapters" in a continuing story does not indicate a slow burn; rather, it indicates frustration for me as a reader.

 

[NotWise]

From my brief experience, readers don't like it when you draw them into an erotic situation and then back out without completing it.

Put yourself in the position of a one-handed reader. Your scenario seems to build them to a climax and then backs out without giving them satisfaction. Don't be surprised if they aren't happy.

 

[gunhilltrain]

My recipe for a "slow burn" is a single, long-ish story of about 25k words or so, one which features an escalating series of sexual or near-sexual encounters between the two main characters.

That's the basic recipe. The add-on features include copious humor, first-person writing, and fucking other people to establish a sexual identity and a baseline level of horniness and willingness to perform various acts. I'll VERY often include a power imbalance.

IMO, the existence of "chapters" in a continuing story does not indicate a slow burn; rather, it indicates frustration for me as a reader.

I don't think I've had a stand-alone story of more than about 10.000 words. Half of that is more usual. I guess I'm succinct?

I go to chapters if the story seems to have "episodes" that happen in different time periods. There could be only a few days between episodes; sometimes it's a few months. Like everything else, it's a judgment call.

 

[SimonDoom]

You can't. Not entirely. Some readers do not want the slow burn. They get too impatient. But some do. Write the story you want.

One way to handle this is to write a story based on a "ratchet up" cycle, where in each chapter the sexual activity heightens and becomes more satisyfing but doesn't quite get to the ultimate level until the end. I did this with my 8-chapter mom-son incest story. Each successive chapter heightened the degree and nature of sexual activity betwene mom and son. Some readers gave up and left me comments to that effect. But many more liked it and enjoyed the long, slow burn.

 

[KeithD]

You can't. Not entirely. Some readers do not want the slow burn. They get too impatient. But some do. Write the story you want.

This. The "wants" vary. Write it as it appeals to you.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Not sure whether this should go here or in Story Feedback. How do you guys sell the slow burn without angering readers?

By writing the slow with the same building intensity as the burn. I write nothing else but slow burn, and nobody has complained about it.

You need to seduce your reader as much as your characters seduce each other, by making each sentence delicious, each pause deliberate. Take your time, but deliver.

 

[Voboy]

From my brief experience, readers don't like it when you draw them into an erotic situation and then back out without completing it.

Put yourself in the position of a one-handed reader. Your scenario seems to build them to a climax and then backs out without giving them satisfaction. Don't be surprised if they aren't happy.

This, x 1,000.

 

[TadOverdon]

The story is going to be what it wants to be.

Maybe there should be an "Edging" category for readers who want to get excited without getting off? LOL

 

[AvroAnsonXIX]

I don't know Lucy. Perhaps you should ask Charlie Brown.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

My feeling is slow-burn fans want a decent amount of story to go with the slow increase in eroticism, and dislike only getting a Lit page or two sold as a 'chapter'. They prefer 3-4 pages and some sort of payoff at the end, whether it's a cliffhanger or a promise or a bit of sexual activity.

Fewer, longer chapters tend to do better.

My guess is the slow-burn fans read with their brain engaged, then devote both hands to celebrating with new images in their mind, as opposed to those multitasking one-handed readers.

 

[ScrappyPaperDoodler]

I like the sound of your story and I look forward to reading it myself. What I’ll say about the pacing is that it depends on your audience. All of your chapters have rated very well and I think you can be proud of even the lowest score (4.58 as I’m writing this). Still, it has scored lower than the chapters and that’s probably because of the issue you highlighted.

Honestly, my advice would be to merge two parts if the first one doesn’t have a payoff. Lit readers aren’t averse to very long submissions, however, I get why they’d be frustrated if they reached the end of a story without... Ehm... You know ;-)

Alternatively, do what you like! A lower score in an ongoing series is a sign that you’ve tried something different. Sure, maybe it doesn’t work out, but you’d drive yourself (and your readers) insane if you kept repeating the same formula.