What are your thoughts on my story "Kelsi's Adventures Ch 04 and 05"

[WW2Mike]

What was the basic plot summary between Jordan and Kelsi in “Kelsi’s Adventures”? I want the whole recap and your thoughts about Chapters 4 and 5?

https://www.literotica.com/s/kelsis-adventures-ch-04
https://www.literotica.com/s/kelsis-adventures-ch-05

 

[AlinaX]

Q. Why?

 

[NoJo]

If you want your readers to follow the plot, get your protagonists to quieten down a little

 

[WW2Mike]

If you want your readers to follow the plot, get your protagonists to quieten down a little

How were they not quietening down?

 

[NoJo]

What I don't get is, if you're the writer, why you're asking for a plot summary.

 

[WW2Mike]

What I don't get is, if you're the writer, why you're asking for a plot summary.

I'm giving you the opportunity to get the plot summary, because it's my way of giving back to the readers.

 

[AlinaX]

It feels like you setting homework.

 

[WW2Mike]

Let's talk some more about this hickey first; who got it and who did it? You never confirmed my answer.

If you’re talking about the hickey from during Chapter 1 of Kelsi’s Adventures, then either Jordan or Kelsi could’ve gotten the hickey kiss. Find out who got a hickey and who did the hickey kiss.

 

[WW2Mike]

Otherwise, I’m still waiting to hear your thoughts on Chapters 4 and 5 of Kelsi’s Adventures.

 

[lovecraft68]

one clothesline peg each on both of her breast nipples

Maybe the question should be where else but the breast would you find a nipple?

I'll be honest here. After I read that foot scene on the bench in whatever chapter that was, I vowed I wouldn't click any more of your links, but I did on Ch. 4 and couldn't make it past the third paragraph. I don't know if you're trying to be funny or just...

I don't know.

 

[WW2Mike]

one clothesline peg each on both of her breast nipples

Maybe the question should be where else but the breast would you find a nipple?

I'll be honest here. After I read that foot scene on the beach in whatever chapter that was, I vowed I wouldn't click any more of your links, but I did on Ch. 4 and couldn't make it past the third paragraph. I don't know if you're trying to be funny or just...

I don't know.

Even if you didn’t make it past the third paragraph on Ch. 4, what did you think of the plot for Ch. 4, and what were Jordan and Kelsi doing for most of Chapter 4?

As for the foot massage scene on the beach, who was the one who got a foot massage on the beach and why (for plot purposes)?

 

[ElectricBlue]

Even if you didn’t make it past the third paragraph on Ch. 4, what did you think of the plot for Ch. 4, and what were Jordan and Kelsi doing for most of Chapter 4?

This is the oddest way to solicit feedback on a story I've ever seen. You've done it several times now, and the engagement factor seems to round about zero.

Lovecraft told you he couldn't get past the third paragraph, yet you still ask him to comment on the plot. What's the sense in asking? He told you he didn't read the story.

I don't understand why you're asking readers to decompose your plot.

 

[MsNatalie99]

What was the basic plot summary between Jordan and Kelsi in “Kelsi’s Adventures”? I want the whole recap and your thoughts about Chapters 4 and 5?

https://www.literotica.com/s/kelsis-adventures-ch-04
https://www.literotica.com/s/kelsis-adventures-ch-05

I couldn't really follow the story. From what I can ascertain, nobody could. The story reads like it's word of mouth from a preteen, or a masturbation fantasy during an acid trip. I'm not trying to be hurtful, but the entire thing feels incoherent and rushed. So much so that you have to ask your readers to explain the plot to you. I normally try not to be so harsh when offering my opinion on a story, but I read all of chapter 4 and honestly have no idea what was going on.

 

[WW2Mike]

Let's talk some more about this hickey first; who got it and who did it? You never confirmed my answer.

Here's your answer on who got a hickey in Chapter 1 of Kelsi's Adventures:

https://i.imgur.com/VCxC9W1.png