... same here ..... a fruitless attempt ....
Sexless Marriages
- Thread starter PornStache75
- Start date
... same here ..... a fruitless attempt ....
MorpheusLunar
Really Experienced
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2021
- Posts
- 119
44 years of confusion.
44 years for me dude. I totally relate. She was 20 I was 19. We were sweathearts. But human sexuality got all tangled up in the church, all tangled up in an affair she had at 30, all fucking tangled up. But she really does quite refuse to allow me to grant her the carnal pleasure of sex. She has an emotional wall erected between herself and her sexual person. I've had numerous affairs -not of the heart but of the loins. And if I want to be wanted, craved, lusted over, and fucked - I've got to find it in a different bed. That is just the reality of it.
So ladies weigh in on this one. I am willing to talk it out wi ya'all. Not saying I'm totally right - and in fact I rarely do get to talk about it - but totally willing. When we attempt to talk about it - it always - and I mean always at this point ends in a fight or her closing down emotionally. Eros is sin. Her default.
44 years for me dude. I totally relate. She was 20 I was 19. We were sweathearts. But human sexuality got all tangled up in the church, all tangled up in an affair she had at 30, all fucking tangled up. But she really does quite refuse to allow me to grant her the carnal pleasure of sex. She has an emotional wall erected between herself and her sexual person. I've had numerous affairs -not of the heart but of the loins. And if I want to be wanted, craved, lusted over, and fucked - I've got to find it in a different bed. That is just the reality of it.
So ladies weigh in on this one. I am willing to talk it out wi ya'all. Not saying I'm totally right - and in fact I rarely do get to talk about it - but totally willing. When we attempt to talk about it - it always - and I mean always at this point ends in a fight or her closing down emotionally. Eros is sin. Her default.
Last edited:
Been trying to have intimate time with he wife for a while now and she gave in a little over a week ago and now nothing again. Nothing on Valentines day, Nothing on my Birthday yesterday. Then when I tried again to day she told me she don't want sex and can go the rest of her life without it. Wow. She just wants me to hold her. Am I the ass for wanting something more. 39 M
My wife was 50 when she made that decision. 10 years burning down the road ....
Cherry,If you don't mind, after almost 29 years of marriage and a lot of mulling and misery I feel somewhat qualified to make a comment.
Unless you already have some serious health problems, the rest of your life is a long time to feel deflated on a daily basis with little chance of improvement. Surely, marriage has to have more personal elements in it than friendship so why settle for friendship if you aren't happy with it - unless there's a hall pass? It's breach of contract isn't it, you didn't sign up for the friend zone?
Joking aside, people (unless bloody miserable or can't find their way to the shower) can find love at all ages between ? and death. Wanting to feel loved doesn't doesn't stop with a number. Hanging onto a marriage that brings misery and rejection is soul destroying. Why wake up feeling it every day if it's not absolutely, life and death, essential?
Intimacy with the right person is a joy and costs nothing, when it's withheld there should be a real good reason for it and if there isn't and the problem can't be rectified then the contract needs to be rewritten or scrapped in my view. All the pixel shenanigans in the world aren't going to compensate for skin on skin contact.
In the end, for me, it's come down to 2 questions, do I want to settle for indefinite years of existing or go off, into the unknown, and try to make a life that gives new opportunities and happiness? Most of us have that choice. It sounds simplistic but that's because I've gone through the problems for years and grasped at all the reasons and excuses.
Without wanting to sound too frivolous (got to laugh or I'll cry) I've come to the conclusion marriage should be like leasing a car, every few years you have the option of replacing it with a new model or you pay the final sum and keep it till the the engine blows
You are correct on many levels with your statements. It seems so apparent when you read it, a little less so putting it into action.
D
It is a shame when we put effort into how we look and act to entice our partners only to come up empty-handed and resort to our own hand for pleasure. I can relate to the drought you are going through. It has been over a year with no contact for me. I feel as though I live with my sister. I have tried gifts, compliments, taking more responsibility for tasks, so she has more time, and nothing works. And here we sit on a site looking for a connection. I heard someone say (or something along these lines) on this thread that pixels cannot make up for skin-to-skin contact. It resonated with me as it's true. I hope you can either fix what you have or find something that works.
D
LustyScribe
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2019
- Posts
- 5,518
Just a little glimmer...
Pixels CAN'T replace physical contact; not even close. But what CAN be refreshing is the commitment of TIME with another person, talking, chatting, exploring fantasies, etc. It's at least a break, and gives you an opportunity to have some mutual give & take with someone who understands your struggle, and you can "cater" to each other's needs. Hearing your name on someone else's lips - or at least reading it - still gives a thrill. And who knows what might evolve...?
So I urge you to turn to each other. I have recently and...it's good. Better than loneliness, that's for sure!
Pixels CAN'T replace physical contact; not even close. But what CAN be refreshing is the commitment of TIME with another person, talking, chatting, exploring fantasies, etc. It's at least a break, and gives you an opportunity to have some mutual give & take with someone who understands your struggle, and you can "cater" to each other's needs. Hearing your name on someone else's lips - or at least reading it - still gives a thrill. And who knows what might evolve...?
So I urge you to turn to each other. I have recently and...it's good. Better than loneliness, that's for sure!
Last edited:
SubbyMcSubface
Mischief
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2021
- Posts
- 13
I’m not the only one!
I don’t know why it took me so long to find you but I did in the end! I am almost crying with joy. I felt so alone before now.
I am a woman in a sexless marriage, but a sexless marriage with a lovely guy. We have kids and we get on together brilliantly. As other posters have said, yes there is the option of leaving, but my kids aren’t adults yet, if I moved out I would be homeless and most important of all, I genuinely love the person I married.
So here I am looking for people similar to me, who are turned on by the written word, who can talk about what they love with no judgement (hopefully). Who like to laugh and who can also talk shamelessly about their sexual desires. A little about me, I’m English, with red hair, blue eyes, early 40s, curvy. Mostly straight but I have had a couple of dalliances with ladies in my younger years and I remember them very fondly. I would say I tend to be submissive and I am mostly drawn to dominant men. I used to love being tied up in bed and doing whatever I could to give my lover the most mind blowing experience they ever had. I try to be good all the time but I love sex, I miss it and to have someone to talk to and with about that, who gets it, would be amazing. Happy to talk to anyone, from anywhere, see if a good and probably strangely sexual friendship develops with a deep amount of trust.
I’m still new to all this but hopefully, this message will appear, and if you decide to message me (I really hope you do) I will reply.
Yours x
I don’t know why it took me so long to find you but I did in the end! I am almost crying with joy. I felt so alone before now.
I am a woman in a sexless marriage, but a sexless marriage with a lovely guy. We have kids and we get on together brilliantly. As other posters have said, yes there is the option of leaving, but my kids aren’t adults yet, if I moved out I would be homeless and most important of all, I genuinely love the person I married.
So here I am looking for people similar to me, who are turned on by the written word, who can talk about what they love with no judgement (hopefully). Who like to laugh and who can also talk shamelessly about their sexual desires. A little about me, I’m English, with red hair, blue eyes, early 40s, curvy. Mostly straight but I have had a couple of dalliances with ladies in my younger years and I remember them very fondly. I would say I tend to be submissive and I am mostly drawn to dominant men. I used to love being tied up in bed and doing whatever I could to give my lover the most mind blowing experience they ever had. I try to be good all the time but I love sex, I miss it and to have someone to talk to and with about that, who gets it, would be amazing. Happy to talk to anyone, from anywhere, see if a good and probably strangely sexual friendship develops with a deep amount of trust.
I’m still new to all this but hopefully, this message will appear, and if you decide to message me (I really hope you do) I will reply.
Yours x
LustyScribe
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 24, 2019
- Posts
- 5,518
A red-haired, blue-eyed English lass! Goodness! You sound amazing already!
osprey44
Old Guys Rule
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2012
- Posts
- 1,343
I'm an old guy, still very active sexually. I have always been an on again, off again "player" so the double standard is easier for me... hope you can connect with someone who relates, there are many of us.
The on-line cyber connection isn't much of a turn on for me... and yes, I did meet one of my former lovers here on Lit. Good Luck!
!
Last edited:
Cherry_Brandy
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Feb 11, 2020
- Posts
- 2,083
I hope you have time on your hands because they'll be queuing around the block for your attention
SubbyMcSubface
Mischief
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2021
- Posts
- 13
Well how kind of you to say so. I think amazingness is in the eye of the beholder so I couldn’t possibly comment.
SubbyMcSubface
Mischief
- Joined
- Feb 18, 2021
- Posts
- 13
I hope you have time on your hands because they'll be queuing around the block for your attention
They aren’t
Justcuriousguy
Experienced
- Joined
- Jul 21, 2019
- Posts
- 55
Not sure if I posted this already. 25 years ago I had no sex drive and my marriage was almost over. My wife and I visited an age management doctor who prescribed testosterone to us both. Six months later we were screwing like rabbits and continued for many years. Lately due to some ailments my wife hasn't had a sex drive. We are both 71 yrs old . I still have an immense sex drive so I am best friends with my hand.
My point is if you are fairly young and don't have much of a sex drive see a doctor
My point is if you are fairly young and don't have much of a sex drive see a doctor
asaxon
Virgin
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2010
- Posts
- 589
Let me join this sexless ship. As a male I do understand women do go through changes due to menopause that can decrease drive, but my wife never really had a full sex drive. I blame religious scars. Over the years though, that weak drive has almost turned off. It is monthly at best and sometimes only she has had a drink or two.
We have a great marriage and I love her with all my heart. I have tried to talk with her, but to no avail. I know that marriage is not all about sex, but I do need a release now and then. Been best friends with my right hand for a long time.
We have a great marriage and I love her with all my heart. I have tried to talk with her, but to no avail. I know that marriage is not all about sex, but I do need a release now and then. Been best friends with my right hand for a long time.
DanbyDrive
Been There
- Joined
- Oct 10, 2013
- Posts
- 85
I'm not knocking religion in general, but sometimes religious dogma/tradition creates sexual inhibitions that are difficult - if not impossible - to override. I definitely empathize with you, sir.
I find that difficult to believe, Subby.They aren’t
asaxon
Virgin
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2010
- Posts
- 589
Yeah, I have no qualms with being religious, I pray daily. But, I don’t let all the doctrine weigh down on me. Humans came up with most and humans are not perfect.
Dan,
Religious dogma and tradition often cause issues that are difficult to overcome, but I don't think they are significant causes of a sexless marriage. Typically, if a person has deep religious views, they are either known or shared by partners well before marriage. I surely don't have the answer, otherwise I would not be here responding to your post. Don't get me wrong, I do think that religion sows deep hang-ups for people that are difficult to overcome. I just think other factors are more major when it comes to sexless marriages. I would love to know how to answer those questions.
Sorry for the rant. I don't necessarily disagree with you, I just think there are many factors that contribute to the issue.
Lickalotapuss29414
Experienced
- Joined
- Apr 9, 2020
- Posts
- 58
I’m single and for a long while now, sexless. Feel for you as I’ve e been there done that.
KeenVoyeur
Literotica Guru
- Joined
- Jun 12, 2018
- Posts
- 8,786
I hope you have time on your hands because they'll be queuing around the block for your attention
They aren’t
Why aren't they? I'd love to exchange messages with you ... I'll have to see how full your PM box is (always presuming you have it turned on)
so are you still looking/ I'm a newbie so be gentle! I am early 60s, athetic, white, 6', no-smoking professional, living in Richmond SW London. I enjoy various sports, and the usual good food, wine, films and live music. I am in an unsatisfactory relationship and would like an occasional/regular partner, average/slim build, aged 35 (if i am lucky!) to 65..if you are interested please try to get back to me and I can be more open... G
OralFan1968
Virgin
- Joined
- Nov 17, 2009
- Posts
- 23
Late to the thread but BOY do I think I've got all you people beat (not in a good way though). I literally haven't had sex with my wife, like ANY kind, for years.. As in 8+ years. Once my youngest one was born thing just went to the back-burner.
It's all been about the kids since. Doesn't help he still sleeps in the bed with us (I know, I know) but even those nights when he's not, there's just no passion.. Just more space...
I've brought this up multiple times and the fact that we're more or less living as room-mates but that usually gets huffed and puffed away. She never brings it up. I even asked her if she was a-sexual but got an angry reaction back.
Maybe a bit too much info here that I should divulge but I guess I'm now at a point where I really don't think things will work out. I mean, we get 'along' but there's just no intimacy.. at. all.
Anyone else in similar situations? I know every one of them is different but... you never know I suppose...
It's all been about the kids since. Doesn't help he still sleeps in the bed with us (I know, I know) but even those nights when he's not, there's just no passion.. Just more space...
I've brought this up multiple times and the fact that we're more or less living as room-mates but that usually gets huffed and puffed away. She never brings it up. I even asked her if she was a-sexual but got an angry reaction back.
Maybe a bit too much info here that I should divulge but I guess I'm now at a point where I really don't think things will work out. I mean, we get 'along' but there's just no intimacy.. at. all.
Anyone else in similar situations? I know every one of them is different but... you never know I suppose...
I think we have the same wife.
