The female perspective.

[MColton84]

Many men, like myself, are in sexless marriages or relationships. Once the sex was over, so was the sense of being desired, being wanted. Gone are the little teases of having my butt grabbed while I’m shaving or my crotch squeezed under the restaurant table. Yes, the sensations were wonderful, but the main loss is the sense that I’m desired, that this important relationship is expressed, at least in past, sexually.

I myself have a healthy marriage but can certainly relate to the sense of being desired. She still does cat-calls when I am working in the yard or claps and cheers when I do a silly dance trying to be sexy. I never had that before her. Sex was a physical act based on a physical need. I don't see myself as a smart man or a good looking guy, so for a woman, man, or anyone anywhere on the spectrum to make me feel sexy is a major turn on. Brilliant point.

 

[MColton84]

I think it's a useful observation in distinguishing between male and female perspective. "Perspective" can be separated from actual gender of the author.

I begin writing tomorrow after the bandages come off. "Perspective " is exactly what I am shooting for. Sincerity and believability of the character, rather than the author. For me it would be just as perplexing to write as an African warlord, or English gentleman. The problem being that I don't necessarily comprehend what makes them, well them. Typically the sex is the last thing I write, trying to focus on the story itself. I imagine that I'm not going to fully understand a perspective not my own, but I want to at least offer a respectful representation.

 

[tomlitilia]

I begin writing tomorrow after the bandages come off. "Perspective " is exactly what I am shooting for. Sincerity and believability of the character. For me it would be just as perplexing to write as an African warlord, or English gentleman. The problem being that I don't necessarily comprehend what makes them, well them. Typically the sex is the last thing I write, trying to focus on the story itself. I imagine that I'm not going to fully understand a perspective not my own, but to at least off a respectful representation.

Yes, a female author has the advantage of being one woman more than you, but there are about 3.8 billion woman neither of you have the experience of being, and that's just counting those currently alive--and real. I think you'll do fine, at least as long as you focus on the world as perceived by the female character and not on the perspective of her tits. Good luck.

 

[MColton84]

Yes, a female author has the advantage of being one woman more than you, but there are about 3.8 billion woman neither of you have the experience of being, and that's just counting those currently alive--and real. I think you'll do fine, at least as long as you focus on the world as perceived by the female character and not on the perspective of her tits. Good luck.

Thank you. I truly appreciate it.

 

[LisaVegas]

Yes, a female author has the advantage of being one woman more than you, but there are about 3.8 billion woman neither of you have the experience of being, and that's just counting those currently alive--and real. I think you'll do fine, at least as long as you focus on the world as perceived by the female character and not on the perspective of her tits. Good luck.

Just out of my own curiosity, I often ask men what they are thinking and feeling emotionally in the situations I describe to them. My hub loves to know what I was thinking and feeling in situations that I am in. Especially when he was not there.

 

[MColton84]

Just out of my own curiosity, I often ask men what they are thinking and feeling emotionally in the situations I describe to them. My hub loves to know what I was thinking and feeling in situations that I am in. Especially when he was not there.

Since starting this thread, I had begun doing the same thing. Not so much in the bedroom, but in general. Like why is it that I can go to the store with a list and leave in less than an hour, yet she can spend hours on the same list. Why does she hate shopping for clothing etc, seemingly mundane things, but enlightening. I have learned about a million different ways that I am a a-hole not even realizing it.

 

[ImiGirrst]

I apologize for not chiming in sooner. I've been recovering from surgery on my hands and shoulder. I will hopefully begin writing the story tomorrow after my doctor clears me. I have been carefully studying a variety of stories and closely following the thread. I thank you all for your advice, suggestions, and feedback. I don't know how well it will turn out but that is half the fun in trying new things. I have only been writing short stories for a little over a year now and can already see a remarkable difference in my writing. I love that I have access to a forum that allows me to confer with other authors.

I wanted to make sure I chimed in here, to reinforce all the positive feedback you've gotten over the last month. And to thank all the other authors who hopped onto the thread. I just discovered it today and I have to say it was this very topic that brought me back to Lit after an 8 year absence.

See, I wrote fic with decidedly smutty (and at times downright erotic) bent to it twenty years ago, until life got in the way. Then I had to give up fiction writing for technical writing. But with Covid, I got extra time and a need to work through a bunch of stuff. So my Muse came roaring back with a vengeance.

But I wound up over at AO3, not at Lit. Heck I didn't even realize that Lit had a fic section until my beta told me about it last night.

But when I was getting back into fic, and I was reading my genre, there were so many pieces that I was reading for the male character, that left me thinking, "Oh no...no no no no...There is No way, this is true to form for a guy - someone did not do their research here. If I am going to write this character myself, I have got to get my fanny over to the Lit Forum for a new beta reader."

So I did some snooping around and much to my absolute amazement and good fortune, I found the beta reader of my dreams. I'm happy to return the favor should he need it. Because I'm not a guy. And just like so many others have said, you can project, but there is just that little something at the end that you can't quite get that is physical.

But you can ask for the finishing touches from that beta reader. You can look at other people's work and see what they've done. I love the example of trying write a scene about what it means to be wet without water. That is just outstanding! And exactly what this forum is all about.

Drop me a line - I'll look at what you got. But you've also had plenty of offers. You only need me in a pinch.

And congratulations - you're well on your way to being a solid writer, since 1) you're not at all afraid of tackling what you don't know, 2) you're not afraid to ask for help and 3) you're willing to talk about it. That's half the battle. I tell my beta this all time time (he's a new writer as well), we've all been in this boat at one time or another, and we'll all be in it again (I wrote my first 'script' at 14). Be gentle with yourself. The only rule in writing is to make sense. However you get that done is the right way.

And don't be afraid to write women - you may find that you come to understand us better - even your wife. That's part of the reason I'm writing from a man's POV right now. It's okay. There is nothing at all wrong with it. There is insight to be had. Research is good. It's a critical part of the writing process. In fact, some say that as much as 75% for writing is done in your head, not necessarily on a keyboard.

 

[Ginlover]

That's part of the reason I'm writing from a man's POV right now. It's okay. There is nothing at all wrong with it. There is insight to be had. Research is good. It's a critical part of the writing process. In fact, some say that as much as 75% for writing is done in your head, not necessarily on a keyboard.

Be warned thou, once you feel you’ve managed write the male gaze or perspective in what you feel is an authentic way it’s damn hard to stop lol. I much prefer writing male characters but couldn’t workout why. In part it’s because I see so many badly written men by female authors on other free to publish sites AO3 bring one of them, and don’t get me started on slash by women But on here I think my number one reason is it stops the inane comments of “so is that your fantasy” “Are you writing about you!” in pm which invariably follows any female main character perspective stories I write. Another bonus is I have a wonderful time slipping in ‘how to’ instructions as my male characters all have a lot of experience with female anatomy lol.

 

[jehoram]

One of my favorite stories on Lit, a gay male story, was written by a woman. She captured what I think to be an element missing in many stories written by male writers, that is, the emotional side of sex for men, straight or gay or anything else.

Which story is this?

 

[ImiGirrst]

Be warned thou, once you feel you’ve managed write the male gaze or perspective in what you feel is an authentic way it’s damn hard to stop lol. I much prefer writing male characters but couldn’t workout why. In part it’s because I see so many badly written men by female authors on other free to publish sites AO3 bring one of them, and don’t get me started on slash by women But on here I think my number one reason is it stops the inane comments of “so is that your fantasy” “Are you writing about you!” in pm which invariably follows any female main character perspective stories I write. Another bonus is I have a wonderful time slipping in ‘how to’ instructions as my male characters all have a lot of experience with female anatomy lol.

I didn't think about the "So that's your fantasy?" angle. JEEZ!

I bet my response would take the wind out of their sail though. "So, sorry, what is the line? - story based on actual events...*WEG*"

Oh yeah, slash - I found an entire masters thesis on the inspiration behind the slash genre.

 

[mfan2112]

Many men, like myself, are in sexless marriages or relationships. Once the sex was over, so was the sense of being desired, being wanted. Gone are the little teases of having my butt grabbed while I’m shaving or my crotch squeezed under the restaurant table. Yes, the sensations were wonderful, but the main loss is the sense that I’m desired, that this important relationship is expressed, at least in past, sexually.

Yes - this is so true. I am not in a sexless relationship, but there is a clear difference between our libidos. I started writing as a way fill the gap I am experiencing. When I was younger, I was all about putting tab A into slot B. But now as a more mature man, it is the connection in all it's various forms that I crave.

Now I find myself reading the lesbian board a lot as the focus of so many of those stories are the relational aspects.

 

[MColton84]

One of my favorite stories on Lit, a gay male story, was written by a woman. She captured what I think to be an element missing in many stories written by male writers, that is, the emotional side of sex for men, straight or gay or anything else. While her description of the actual sex is really hot and arousing, it is also a lot more. She explores the relational side of sex.

This is my gay male submission. I feel that I did a good job with the emotional element in it.. If you want go ahead and look it over and shoot me a PM with your thoughts.

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/broken-toys-2

 

[LisaVegas]

Maybe we men, as we age, are held hostage less to the testosterone tornado that pushes younger men to pop boners looking at a peach and worry more about finding a place to have an orgasm than really relating to a sex partner as a human being.

I love the oral treat and there are other (fill in the blank) that can help overcome such obstacles

 

[MColton84]

Maybe we men, as we age, are held hostage less to the testosterone tornado that pushes younger men to pop boners looking at a peach and worry more about finding a place to have an orgasm than really relating to a sex partner as a human being.

You are a very blessed man. One of the most basic human needs is to be known and loved, not only because of one's self, but even in spite of one's self. The intimacy of sexual relations mirrors this need on the physical level.

That is profoundly deep. As we ourselves (My Wife and I) get older, sex becomes less and less important. We are still active, but we are both very open about our thoughts and feelings. I think that this is the glue that binds us. After all, her ass will eventually lose its shape and her boobs will sag, not to mention the shit-show that will be my body. So we focus a lot of energy on ensuring each other of their worth. I have learned from experience that a dozen tiny unscripted deeds will pale any diamond in comparison.

 

[MsNatalie99]

Perspective.

My suggestion will probably sound dumb, but ignore gender. If your character is sensitive, write them sensitive, a total Karen, write Karen, and so on and so forth. The main idea is that your writing in someone else's head. You can fill in the blanks later. I mean if you don't know how women think, than how do you know that you aren't thinking like one now? Just a thought.

 

[Athalia]

(Apologies in advance. This is already looking long.)

The bit where she examines herself in the mirror and it gives a vivid 500 word description of her hot body always felt such like such a cliche to me. I have seen that an infinite number of times reading stories over the years. "

Interesting point, that. Maybe I'm going to write a story where a man is looking in the mirror and there's a 500 word essay on his hot body.

The only "mirror scenes" that ring true to me are where the women is judging herself in comparison to ideal bodies. Maybe because that's all I'm thinking about when I study myself in the mirror. (Are there many scenes where a man is looking in the mirror and not liking what he sees? The only one I can think of is that scene in "Hooper" where Burt Reynolds is trying to suck in his gut.)

And they have to be short scenes... a sentence or two. If a woman spends more time than that in front of a mirror, she's got a serious problem with her self-image, either positive or negative.

 

[Athalia]

I don't have enough words to thank my editor for the reality checks she's given me over the years.

It went both ways, dear. (And, yes, I got your last story. I'll get on it tomorrow.)

 

[jehoram]

It went both ways, dear. (And, yes, I got your last story. I'll get on it tomorrow.)

 

[ImiGirrst]

That is profoundly deep. As we ourselves (My Wife and I) get older, sex becomes less and less important. We are still active, but we are both very open about our thoughts and feelings. I think that this is the glue that binds us. After all, her ass will eventually lose its shape and her boobs will sag, not to mention the shit-show that will be my body. So we focus a lot of energy on ensuring each other of their worth. I have learned from experience that a dozen tiny unscripted deeds will pale any diamond in comparison.

I said something snark and bitter and I decided I didn't like posting that so I made an edit...

 

[ImiGirrst]

Maybe we men, as we age, are held hostage less to the testosterone tornado that pushes younger men to pop boners looking at a peach and worry more about finding a place to have an orgasm than really relating to a sex partner as a human being.

Okay, I read this sentence four times and I still don't know that the sentiment is as clear as you meant it to be.

I gotta say that I think you identified three distinct populations in this sentence (and fear I am going off topic on this thread but this is my female perspective so I'm going with it). There is the population of the first clause: The younger men who pop boners looking at peaches. There is population of the last clause: the population of aging men who are looking to relating to a sex partner as a human being.

But then I'm also reading there is the middle clause that is kind in there that is muddied up: The aging men that are chasing the testosterone tornado and are worried about finding a place to have an orgasm while they still can! And believe you me, they are out there. (Arguably, I think it can be said that there are just as many women out there too, this phenomena doesn't just affect men.)


So I tend to think anytime our intimacy matches our sexual need, we are indeed blessed.

 

[MColton84]

I said something snark and bitter and I decided I didn't like posting that so I made an edit...

Well, I am much abliged for your mercy.

 

[stickygirl]

I think most men have no clue about the relational aspects of sex. If we were taught anything about sex at all, it was pretty much just the bare biology of it. ~snip for brevity~

But my body is still screaming at me. But now it's not so much for orgasms as it is for touch, caresses, the little things that remind me that I am loved. My mind understands that, but my body doesn't get the message.

Thanks for your posts on this subject, which I find interesting.

Hormones are something to which I've had to give much thought and research because I'm transgender. I watched a presentation by a leading doctor in trans health who quoted the remarks of more than one trans man. Having been on testosterone for some months they mentioned to the doctor in a follow-up, that they had a huge amount of sympathy for men, because they now understood the pressure hormones put on them ( men ). Yes - did you hear that guys?!

On the obverse, like most trans women, I can confirm the relief of suppressing testosterone.

It's a no-brainer to observe the extraordinary physical changes T makes - and most young men are proud of their biceps and shoulders. Teenage boys are tormented by hormones, but most have tamed their instincts by the time they reach 'manhood'.

There is some criticism for teaching different aspirations to each gender, because of the restrictions it can place on women's careers. What is overlooked is that boys are also taught to be gentlemen: not to hit women or pick on people smaller than themselves. There's a possibility of a 'baby and bath water' approach, where we might forget to teach boys that important consideration - I hope it's a unlikely possibility.

After that side-track

You're correct that the majority of men and the majority of women misunderstand the other's language, references and intentions. I'd like to think it is changing, slowly. Our job is to keep pushing the ball further down the road to end up in a place where equality is no longer an option. Besides... it gives us something to talk about

 

[ImiGirrst]

Well, I am much abliged for your mercy.

Well, take comfort it wasn't actually about you. (It was quite complementary about you actually.) I decided I didn't want to be that shrewish, but Robd grabbed it before I changed it. Oh well....

 

[gordo12]

Try writing the sex scene with no mention of body parts - it'll force you to think about the emotional connection. Then go back and sparingly add body parts

Sounds like a great challenge. I'm about to write a sex scene in my Vday entry from the viewpoint of the woman. I'll see how it goes

I admit that in the last year or so, I've come to prefer women writers. I think they do a far better job in the emotional quotient of a story instead of the huge cock - stick it in the mouth, ass or pussy till they cream all over your magnificence.

I can't even begin to emulate the emotions they bring into a story VS the physicality of male writing, but it's worth the effort to improve.

 

[JJA122]

Originally Posted by robd63 View Post
One of my favorite stories on Lit, a gay male story, was written by a woman. She captured what I think to be an element missing in many stories written by male writers, that is, the emotional side of sex for men, straight or gay or anything else. While her description of the actual sex is really hot and arousing, it is also a lot more. She explores the relational side of sex.
This is my gay male submission. I feel that I did a good job with the emotional element in it.. If you want go ahead and look it over and shoot me a PM with your thoughts.

This is my gay male submission. I feel that I did a good job with the emotional element in it.. If you want go ahead and look it over and shoot me a PM with your thoughts.

https://www.literotica.com/beta/s/broken-toys-2

Was there an author that used to/does post here that was a straight male and wrote a gay male story? Or was I seeing things, it was when I joined these forums.