The female perspective.

I read male and female authors. The first one for fast and direct porn or erotica. The female ones for longlasting and more intimate stories (for longer evenings alone at home).
That's a false correlation. I'm a male author with a reputation for slow burn erotica, with intimate and emotional stories. My readers would say that's my trademark style.
 
Try writing the sex scene with no mention of body parts - it'll force you to think about the emotional connection. Then go back and sparingly add body parts
 
Try writing the sex scene with no mention of body parts - it'll force you to think about the emotional connection. Then go back and sparingly add body parts

Wow, that is a incredibly practical yet seemingly difficult exercise. I will definitely give it a try. It's like describing the feeling of getting caught in the rain without mentioning water. Thanks Stickygirl, that's deep.
 
That's a false correlation. I'm a male author with a reputation for slow burn erotica, with intimate and emotional stories. My readers would say that's my trademark style.

It's additionally slippery because a reader can't really tell either here or in the mainstream who is a female author and who is male if the author wants to hide that.

I think it's a useful observation in distinguishing between male and female perspective. "Perspective" can be separated from actual gender of the author.
 
Wow, that is a incredibly practical yet seemingly difficult exercise. I will definitely give it a try. It's like describing the feeling of getting caught in the rain without mentioning water. Thanks Stickygirl, that's deep.

Ok, well okay - the work up to the sex scene! I accept it's difficult to write sex with no mention at all of 'tab A and slot B' but I hope you take my point. Writers can get distracted by naming body parts 'Oh no, I've used the word shaft six times already' and miss the incidental things like "I could barely reach around his shoulders" "His stubble rash would take some explaining to my mother" "I'd never bruised my ears with my knees before - that was a first" :) Readers will fill in the blanks.

The worst sex scenes for me are the ones that end up like someone explaining Twister 'She flipped her elbow over his right knee, while he pressed her face to his throbbing tool, forcing her feet behind his thrusting buttocks' :D
 
Ok, well okay - the work up to the sex scene! I accept it's difficult to write sex with no mention at all of 'tab A and slot B' but I hope you take my point. Writers can get distracted by naming body parts 'Oh no, I've used the word shaft six times already' and miss the incidental things like "I could barely reach around his shoulders" "His stubble rash would take some explaining to my mother" "I'd never bruised my ears with my knees before - that was a first" :) Readers will fill in the blanks.

The worst sex scenes for me are the ones that end up like someone explaining Twister 'She flipped her elbow over his right knee, while he pressed her face to his throbbing tool, forcing her feet behind his thrusting buttocks' :D

I have been trying out your initial suggestion for a couple of hours now and can recognize certain words and phrases that I use far too often. I agree with you that descriptions of overly elaborate encounters (Twister) can be hard to follow and even more difficult to immerse oneself into as the reader. I am still working on the first suggested exercise that you gave me and appreciate the challenge. Thanks!
 
I have been trying out your initial suggestion for a couple of hours now and can recognize certain words and phrases that I use far too often. I agree with you that descriptions of overly elaborate encounters (Twister) can be hard to follow and even more difficult to immerse oneself into as the reader. I am still working on the first suggested exercise that you gave me and appreciate the challenge. Thanks!

Oh Lord! It was unqualified advice and I hope I've not sent you on a wild goose chase.

There's a writer on Lit who looked through my draft and spotted four or five words I used far too much - words that diluted the presence of the writing. A different perspective can sometimes be just the nudge you need.
 
Anyone looked at Jungian philosophy? Specifically the animus/anima.
 
(Apologies in advance. This is already looking long.)

I am a straight male writer. As I have started drafting stories for this site again, I've asked myself a few questions. Obviously, most of the sexuality is going to be my own indulgent fantasy. Most of my female characters are fit or average, though their breast sizes will vary, and they don't always shave. They always swallow cum, and the end result of vaginal sex is always a creampie.

So, yeah, they are objects of my desire. I try—emphasis on try—to balance it out by making them feel like real people. I pay attention to her dialogue. She reacts differently to situations according to her personality. She doesn't have to be a cock hungry monster (although I certainly like that). In a taboo story she will wrestle with her conscience. It doesn't make sense to go straight through that door and onto daddy's cock. I want her to be happy, and experience pure pleasure as much as her partner, but it feels unnatural to have her pursue sex simply because the narrative dictates it. I don't want her to be my puppet on a string; I like it more when she surprises me.

I am not sure if I ever wrote the "getting off looking at herself in the morning" scene. As I said in a previous thread, I don't make a habit of reading my old stories on here. The older they are, the more they hurt my soul. The bit where she examines herself in the mirror and it gives a vivid 500 word description of her hot body always felt such like such a cliche to me. I have seen that an infinite number of times reading stories over the years. Some of those old vintage erotica books do that crap a lot. The only time I would try to pull that off is if it led to some masturbation, as an appetizer for the reader.

Other times, I caught myself writing sex from a female perspective, and again, as a straight male, had a moment of pause. I like my sex scenes to be visceral, dripping with erotic detail. Because I also hate the one sentence she "frigged herself silly and then left the bathroom" line. I want to paint as vivid a picture as I can to get the audience off. But then I was writing how the penis looked, and its texture and shape, and from there how it felt in her mouth. Wait, is she giving a blowjob or am I? I've never had a penis in my mouth. What WOULD one taste like? My big toe?

Not sure if this helps. A lot of it was probably blogging and reminiscing. Take what you will from it.

I do have some questions though, ladies. Many, actually, though I suppose if I could only pick one, it would be: just how physical is the sensation compared to emotional? Is there much physical pleasure at all, even? Do you really enjoy the hardness and girth of his cock, and the raw pleasure of his shaft rubbing against your clit?

I've read many testimonials from women over the years, about how sex is mostly mental, and it's "who I'm fucking and overall what it means" that gets them off more than anything. We men are physical and visual fuckers. We like the tightness of the pussy as it envelops us just before climax, her breasts swaying with every thrust, etc. ("Is she hot? Seriously, how hot is she?")

But what about you? If I could solve this mystery, it would go a long way to making my writing feel less hackish and "mannish."
 
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Anyone looked at Jungian philosophy? Specifically the animus/anima.
Pretty much constantly. Since my female characters arrive fully fledged from my subconscious, I can only conclude they're from my psyche, they're an echo or doppelganger of my feminine self. Unlike all the I&T writers, who are obviously Freudian, I'm definitely Jungian.
 
But what about you? If I could solve this mystery, it would go a long way to making my writing feel less hackish and "mannish."
If you're a male writer writing women, I reckon it's a good idea to have a female beta reader. They might not remove the male gaze entirely, but they'll point out the most obvious errors.

It also depends whether you're writing characters with personalities or just body parts and porn cliches - of which you've mentioned two in your opening paragraph - so you might already be steering down a predetermined (male-centric) path. Not all good girls swallow ;).
 
Ok, well okay - the work up to the sex scene! I accept it's difficult to write sex with no mention at all of 'tab A and slot B' but I hope you take my point. Writers can get distracted by naming body parts 'Oh no, I've used the word shaft six times already' and miss the incidental things like "I could barely reach around his shoulders" "His stubble rash would take some explaining to my mother" "I'd never bruised my ears with my knees before - that was a first" :) Readers will fill in the blanks.

The worst sex scenes for me are the ones that end up like someone explaining Twister 'She flipped her elbow over his right knee, while he pressed her face to his throbbing tool, forcing her feet behind his thrusting buttocks' :D

Challenge accepted.

Crap, please don't read my early work.... :( ;)

ps, I don't write that way any more. :D
 
MayorReynolds: ... I do have some questions though, ladies. Many, actually, though I suppose if I could only pick one, it would be: just how physical is the sensation compared to emotional? Is there much physical pleasure at all, even? Do you really enjoy the hardness and girth of his cock, and the raw pleasure of his shaft rubbing against your clit?

I've read many testimonials from women over the years, about how sex is mostly mental, and it's "who I'm fucking and overall what it means" that gets them off more than anything. We men are physical and visual fuckers. We like the tightness of the pussy as it envelops us just before climax, her breasts swaying with every thrust, etc. ("Is she hot? Seriously, how hot is she?")

I think you're quite a ways off the mark in thinking sex is "mostly mental" for females. (given that every female is unique.) It may be accurate to say that most women might be more emotionally tuned than most men (in general).

A picture might be helpful, and the link below is to an article in Esquire about the clitoris. There is also an image of a model of the clitoral gland. In short, the clit is much more than a small sensitive external nub. It extends around the vagina and beyond. In short, females may have more physical pleasure than males — at a minimum, I think it is equal. Again, with a realization that every human is unique — so let's say on average.

Link to article/image -> https://www.esquire.com/lifestyle/sex/news/a47740/clitoris-3d-print/
 
I do have some questions though, ladies. Many, actually, though I suppose if I could only pick one, it would be: just how physical is the sensation compared to emotional? Is there much physical pleasure at all, even? Do you really enjoy the hardness and girth of his cock, and the raw pleasure of his shaft rubbing against your clit?

I've read many testimonials from women over the years, about how sex is mostly mental, and it's "who I'm fucking and overall what it means" that gets them off more than anything. We men are physical and visual fuckers. We like the tightness of the pussy as it envelops us just before climax, her breasts swaying with every thrust, etc. ("Is she hot? Seriously, how hot is she?")

But what about you? If I could solve this mystery, it would go a long way to making my writing feel less hackish and "mannish."

It’s not just mental. To use your blow job example. I notice how wide a guy is. If he rubs the inside of my teeth. I’ll rethink my angle and be more aware than a narrower cock.
I’ve never understood the feeling of different cocks in PiV sex but my sample size might not be large enough lol
Where the difference in physical acts between male and female perspective lies I’d suggest it’s — as has been said — the surprising physical sensations, stubble or the digging in of fingers in non-intimate places. It’s the feel of sweat, his breath. How heavy he is and if that weight is on me, is his gut in the way making some positions complicated. How hard the thrusts are, will he force me off the bed if I don’t get his attention enough to stop us falling.
These are not physical touch but are also not mental.
The sounds
His expression
Eye contact
And the big one for me is taste. The taste of his kiss, has he just drunk coffee or eaten a mint? The taste of salt or musky.

Then chuck in the mental aspect. Feeling we are joined. The pauses when you catch your breath, not moving but feeling together. The effect tightening my grip has on his eyes, expression or sounds. Am I pinned and trapped but feeling safe? Am I powerful and in control, responsible for the bliss on his face.

The combination of both I think is more how a woman would describe sex. It’s not all or even mainly mental for me, it’s the whole experience. And I also think for men the mental build up is part of a damn good sex too.
 
The stories I wrote were three times as long as what is published. All my backstory as to why I did it. My emotions. State of mind. All leading up to the why so you can understand the reasons, typically many, for doing it. Whatever the it was. All three stories are sex (hot sex if you ask me) and probably geared to men as they don't, not all, care as to why I did it. They want the juicy stuff to pleasure themselves. My stories are true so they were easy to write. I remember them as if they were yesterday. I am always happy when someone wants to hear the backstory as to why I did what I did. You get the full perspective and my situation at that point in my life. I just don't think they work for the "typical" reader here.

Am I wrong? Do you want my stories three times as long so you can learn how I felt and what drove me to do it?

When I write I tend to give you how I was feeling at that point in the sexual situation. Less on the action of it and more on how I felt. What I was thinking at that instant. I personally want to know that more than describing a sex act. I know what is happening I don't need physical details. I love the emotional details.

Your thoughts?
 
When I write I tend to give you how I was feeling at that point in the sexual situation. Less on the action of it and more on how I felt. What I was thinking at that instant. I personally want to know that more than describing a sex act. I know what is happening I don't need physical details. I love the emotional details.
I think my readers like my slow burn, meandering stories; and a big part of that is because of the intimate and emotional details. If my characters aren't ready for a sex scene, they make me circle around them slowly, until they're good and ready. It's the circling and waiting that provides the emotional tension.

I've lost count of the number of comments saying, "Thanks for sharing" - it's as if readers believe they've read a slice of real life (small slices maybe, but the bulk of it is complete fiction).
 
It’s not just mental. To use your blow job example. I notice how wide a guy is. If he rubs the inside of my teeth. I’ll rethink my angle and be more aware than a narrower cock. ~snip~

Then chuck in the mental aspect. Feeling we are joined. The pauses when you catch your breath, not moving but feeling together. The effect tightening my grip has on his eyes, expression or sounds. Am I pinned and trapped but feeling safe? Am I powerful and in control, responsible for the bliss on his face.

The combination of both I think is more how a woman would describe sex. It’s not all or even mainly mental for me, it’s the whole experience. And I also think for men the mental build up is part of a damn good sex too.

^^ I agree with much of this and *makes a note to follow your stories* :devil:
 
If you're a male writer writing women, I reckon it's a good idea to have a female beta reader. They might not remove the male gaze entirely, but they'll point out the most obvious errors.

I pointed out that very thing in an essay I submitted:

https://www.literotica.com/s/the-right-editor

I don't have enough words to thank my editor for the reality checks she's given me over the years.
 
The stories I wrote were three times as long as what is published. All my backstory as to why I did it. My emotions. State of mind. All leading up to the why so you can understand the reasons, typically many, for doing it. Whatever the it was. All three stories are sex (hot sex if you ask me) and probably geared to men as they don't, not all, care as to why I did it. They want the juicy stuff to pleasure themselves. My stories are true so they were easy to write. I remember them as if they were yesterday. I am always happy when someone wants to hear the backstory as to why I did what I did. You get the full perspective and my situation at that point in my life. I just don't think they work for the "typical" reader here.

Am I wrong? Do you want my stories three times as long so you can learn how I felt and what drove me to do it?

When I write I tend to give you how I was feeling at that point in the sexual situation. Less on the action of it and more on how I felt. What I was thinking at that instant. I personally want to know that more than describing a sex act. I know what is happening I don't need physical details. I love the emotional details.

Your thoughts?

There's an audience for either, and no money either way, so write what you enjoy writing.
 
Am I wrong? Do you want my stories three times as long so you can learn how I felt and what drove me to do it?

When I write I tend to give you how I was feeling at that point in the sexual situation. Less on the action of it and more on how I felt. What I was thinking at that instant. I personally want to know that more than describing a sex act. I know what is happening I don't need physical details. I love the emotional details.

Your thoughts?

In writing, I personally enjoy the build up more than the sex itself. In my personal experience, spontaneous meetings and anonymous hook-ups, where fun, are significantly less exciting than a encounter days, weeks, even years in the making. If it takes twelve pages for the panties to drop then so be it. It’s all the more enticing with the element of anticipation.
 
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Masterful advice one and all.

I apologize for not chiming in sooner. I've been recovering from surgery on my hands and shoulder. I will hopefully begin writing the story tomorrow after my doctor clears me. I have been carefully studying a variety of stories and closely following the thread. I thank you all for your advice, suggestions, and feedback. I don't know how well it will turn out but that is half the fun in trying new things. I have only been writing short stories for a little over a year now and can already see a remarkable difference in my writing. I love that I have access to a forum that allows me to confer with other authors.
 
Glad you're on the mend.:)

now about using quotes at Lit... be happy to help ;)
 
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