Sexless marriage
- Thread starter metro573
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klippert
Geoff
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Make shure the line of communications is wide open. Don't make yourself a victim...be sympathetic towards her.
most of all, and My wife has had very little to recently no interest in sex. this has been gong on for 3.5 yrs...try not to base your marriage on 'Sex'
If your communication sucks...well you may get a rude awakening. Friend of mind was crushed when she finally told him, she was horny, only not for him and he didn't turn her on for yrs...
most of all, and My wife has had very little to recently no interest in sex. this has been gong on for 3.5 yrs...try not to base your marriage on 'Sex'
If your communication sucks...well you may get a rude awakening. Friend of mind was crushed when she finally told him, she was horny, only not for him and he didn't turn her on for yrs...
writerzblok92
Literotica Guru
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You're not alone..it's been over 8 years for me...
Before that, it was once or twice a year for like 15 years and forget oral sex. That's been a memory for longer than I care to think.
albertaboy
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My wife and I had what I would call a very good sex life into our mid fifties, until she got breast cancer.
She spent the better of 18 months dealing with it and the accompanying rehab.
We love each other and plan to spend the rest of our lives together, but it may never be regular like it was before. I would rather be mostly platonic than the alternative.
She spent the better of 18 months dealing with it and the accompanying rehab.
We love each other and plan to spend the rest of our lives together, but it may never be regular like it was before. I would rather be mostly platonic than the alternative.
I can tell you what worked for me. I have no idea whether it will work for your marriage.
We were the sort to have lots of sex originally: 2-6 times a day, every day, for many years. Things, of course, tapered. At some points it was as bad as 2-4 times a month. Bed-times became a time of not quite begging, then anticipation of rejection, then resentment, and unkindness.
After a few months of this, one day as I watched her scrubbing the tub, out of horniness and frustration, I just went over and fucked her right in that position. We were both satisfied. Over the next few weeks, I did it many more times whenever the urge came. Sometimes she was busy at the time, other times I’d get her up from her chair and just bend her over it. It rekindled her desire.
Now, when the frequency starts to fade, we both know what to do and one of us will “take” the other a time or three until the connection and desire is reestablished. We’ve also taken to molly as a regular (2-4 times a year) part of our relationship and that has done wonders for us that it is pointless to describe to anyone who hasn’t experienced it.
We were the sort to have lots of sex originally: 2-6 times a day, every day, for many years. Things, of course, tapered. At some points it was as bad as 2-4 times a month. Bed-times became a time of not quite begging, then anticipation of rejection, then resentment, and unkindness.
After a few months of this, one day as I watched her scrubbing the tub, out of horniness and frustration, I just went over and fucked her right in that position. We were both satisfied. Over the next few weeks, I did it many more times whenever the urge came. Sometimes she was busy at the time, other times I’d get her up from her chair and just bend her over it. It rekindled her desire.
Now, when the frequency starts to fade, we both know what to do and one of us will “take” the other a time or three until the connection and desire is reestablished. We’ve also taken to molly as a regular (2-4 times a year) part of our relationship and that has done wonders for us that it is pointless to describe to anyone who hasn’t experienced it.
join the club
we last had sex about 5 years ago
from time to time i have waged pretty good campaigns to try to rekindle intimacy
zero success
sometimes it just makes me want to scream
watching porn and jacking off gets old
in fact, im way over that
the most prevailing end result is just a feeling of being pathetic
i left her over the issue some years back
moved in with another girl
she was as sexual as me
or more
i guess i wasn't ready for an "open" relationship though
and she kept fucking all of her old regular fuck buddies
and so i went back home
aside from zero sex, me and my wife get along as well as anyone
i have no answers on how to cope
i try to pray about it
i try to avoid masturbating
i try to not think about all the past girlfriends i probably could fuck today
but it takes its toll
and is always somewhere in my mind
all i can offer is empathy
we last had sex about 5 years ago
from time to time i have waged pretty good campaigns to try to rekindle intimacy
zero success
sometimes it just makes me want to scream
watching porn and jacking off gets old
in fact, im way over that
the most prevailing end result is just a feeling of being pathetic
i left her over the issue some years back
moved in with another girl
she was as sexual as me
or more
i guess i wasn't ready for an "open" relationship though
and she kept fucking all of her old regular fuck buddies
and so i went back home
aside from zero sex, me and my wife get along as well as anyone
i have no answers on how to cope
i try to pray about it
i try to avoid masturbating
i try to not think about all the past girlfriends i probably could fuck today
but it takes its toll
and is always somewhere in my mind
all i can offer is empathy
Chippyminton
Experienced
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Empathy
I empathise with you guys. I think it's the reality for many men of a certain age.
My wife and I have seen some changes. We love each other and so enjoy each others company but sex is a little sparse. If I'm honest is as much my fault/problem as it is hers. I have been looking forward to our kids leaving home so we can start to 'play' again, but when my second child went away to college, my first child came back to live at home. Foiled again!
Still, we enjoy the occasional 'fling' but just in the bedroom either late at night or early in the morning, so we're not usually at our best.
We could do with some married women on here helping us with advice!
I empathise with you guys. I think it's the reality for many men of a certain age.
My wife and I have seen some changes. We love each other and so enjoy each others company but sex is a little sparse. If I'm honest is as much my fault/problem as it is hers. I have been looking forward to our kids leaving home so we can start to 'play' again, but when my second child went away to college, my first child came back to live at home. Foiled again!
Still, we enjoy the occasional 'fling' but just in the bedroom either late at night or early in the morning, so we're not usually at our best.
We could do with some married women on here helping us with advice!
sweet_berries
Really Experienced
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- Sep 12, 2020
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i seem to have the other side of the problem, been married 26 years together 28, hes 10 years my senior, I've always had a high sex drive, now I've got to a certain age, its actually got worse, his sex drive is a lot lower than mine, and he has some issues,
The obvious answer to you, and perhaps those above, is to consider an agreement to contract things out. It’s not for us but surely works for some.
Our own method, along with the occasional bit of molly may not suit others.
And I follow your thread... you are criminally gorgeous.. I am sympathetic..Hubs and I haven’t had sex in a month...I’m dying here! Granted, I did have Covid and was in the hospital, but I’ve been home two weeks and nothing. I’m about to create a Tinder account! Lol
MrRandyWatson
Literotica Guru
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You have five options:
1. Ask her to reconsider.
2. Ask for permission to go outside the marriage.
3. Go outside the marriage without permission.
4. Put up with it.
5. End the marriage.
I’d start with 1, and if you get nowhere, the other four have their pros and cons.
1. Ask her to reconsider.
2. Ask for permission to go outside the marriage.
3. Go outside the marriage without permission.
4. Put up with it.
5. End the marriage.
I’d start with 1, and if you get nowhere, the other four have their pros and cons.
KimGordon67
Rampant feminist
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I don't think adults really have to ask for 'permission'. Instead, maybe an open conversation about how you're feeling, and seeing how she feels about potential solutions, and the considering whether you want to take her feelings into account when you make a decision.
MrRandyWatson
Literotica Guru
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Either she’s comfortable with the idea or she’s not. “Permission” may not be the right word but it’s the right general idea.
KimGordon67
Rampant feminist
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Being comfortable with the idea is not at all the same as giving someone 'permission'. One is about her feelings, which he may or may not choose to consider. The other implies your spouse has some sort of control over your life, and taking that approach has a greater chance of resulting in resentment on the part of one party.
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Do you let her know you find her desirable, or do you initiate by poking a boner in her back? Yes, you may have that boner because you are lying close to the person you love, but she may not see it that way. If you can tell her how much she turns you on before you simply poke the evidence into her, and perhaps tell her how you would love to satisfy her and bring her to orgasm and focus on her, it can sometimes help.
hey ...
Do everything you can think of and then after that ask 'around', as far as medical professionals go, about what to do with or for your wife.
And remember this --,
"The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife."
Cyril Conner
Do everything you can think of and then after that ask 'around', as far as medical professionals go, about what to do with or for your wife.
And remember this --,
"The true index of a man's character is the health of his wife."
Cyril Conner
OpenMouth
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Much love to both of you. I'm resigned to a platonic relationship too, and if that's it from now on it's what I'll deal with.
Get a hottie to take care of your needs....
nakdraven
Really Experienced
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- Nov 16, 2020
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- 119
There are no right or wrong answers, and relationships ebb and flow. There were times in my marriage when the kids were the priority and that meant sex was not only boring but irregular (monthly?). In recent years, as most of the kids have left home or are older, we have sex every single day, sometimes more often. Also the variety is exceptional and fun, and constantly pushing the barriers.
Hopefully, yours will turn the corner, in the meantime, try not to get bitter - it never makes things better. Keep communicating in a non-angry way so she feels the weight of your struggles - even write letters to give expression to how you are travelling.
Hopefully, yours will turn the corner, in the meantime, try not to get bitter - it never makes things better. Keep communicating in a non-angry way so she feels the weight of your struggles - even write letters to give expression to how you are travelling.
The lack of sex just gets me thinking more of being her denied cuckold, I have always had fantasies about other guys fucking my wife, for years!. So I'm able to cope with the through of those fantasies. There are a few guys I know that I love to think about fucking my wife. Her not wanting sex gets my mind thinking of her pussy being too sore for me to have, because of her taking turns hooking up and fucking one of these other younger men. I'll even be thinking maybe she's having a 3sum with two of them.
So I make the most of being in my sexless marriage, with my cuckold thoughts, and it works for me. But like I said, I have always had fantasies about other guys we have known over the years fucking my wife. So now that we don't have sex I think of her getting it from some guy I know, and she cut me off from her pussy.
My wife also knows I masturbate thinking of this. And that after I'm denied in the morning, I go back to our bedroom to jack off. If I'm lucky, she will give me her dirty panties from the day before, and say " here go have fun." These simply little pathetic acts, keeps me going, or should I say CUMMING!
So I make the most of being in my sexless marriage, with my cuckold thoughts, and it works for me. But like I said, I have always had fantasies about other guys we have known over the years fucking my wife. So now that we don't have sex I think of her getting it from some guy I know, and she cut me off from her pussy.
My wife also knows I masturbate thinking of this. And that after I'm denied in the morning, I go back to our bedroom to jack off. If I'm lucky, she will give me her dirty panties from the day before, and say " here go have fun." These simply little pathetic acts, keeps me going, or should I say CUMMING!
Last edited:
Going on 10 years
About 10 years ago my wife said that she had no interest, no desire, and that I should handle it myself, and that she'd cut if off if I cheated.
I was of course hurt and angry with her, especially because I had NO input to the situation and there was no discussion afterword except for her to say that "it was all her".
I decided to stay for my son (who was 10 at the time) and hoped that someday she might initiate sex again or at least show interest. We retired and moved south about 3 years ago and I hope that perhaps getting away from her stressful job and a change of scenery might help. Needless to say I was wrong on all counts. I made a few attempts to initiate so me sexual touching but that was struck down over the course of the 10 years with something like "No" or "Go away".
There is little intimacy and no touching at all. Its become a business relationship at best in my mind. I am unable to allow myself to be intimate or vulnerable to her any more (since the proclamation) so I do own some of it.
I have had several discrete encounters over the years, some one off and some ongoing but they are not the same.
Here I sit at 65 wondering why the hell I tolerated it but I can offer up that you should do the right thing for yourself and you can live with.
-K
About 10 years ago my wife said that she had no interest, no desire, and that I should handle it myself, and that she'd cut if off if I cheated.
I was of course hurt and angry with her, especially because I had NO input to the situation and there was no discussion afterword except for her to say that "it was all her".
I decided to stay for my son (who was 10 at the time) and hoped that someday she might initiate sex again or at least show interest. We retired and moved south about 3 years ago and I hope that perhaps getting away from her stressful job and a change of scenery might help. Needless to say I was wrong on all counts. I made a few attempts to initiate so me sexual touching but that was struck down over the course of the 10 years with something like "No" or "Go away".
There is little intimacy and no touching at all. Its become a business relationship at best in my mind. I am unable to allow myself to be intimate or vulnerable to her any more (since the proclamation) so I do own some of it.
I have had several discrete encounters over the years, some one off and some ongoing but they are not the same.
Here I sit at 65 wondering why the hell I tolerated it but I can offer up that you should do the right thing for yourself and you can live with.
-K
