Female-Led Relationships

[Sign54]

Check out Reddit role reversal.

 

[Kitschshaman]

Just a bump for Lady J...this thread deserves to be paid attention to. A relationship is like a plant, you must water it regularly for it to thrive...

 

[Wonderer67]

Agree with trooper6.

I was in the army (19K, dumb ass tanker) and have really found out over time the joy of being submissive. I was in the army and now in a private sector job that’s pretty stressful. So being submissive really helps my mind when I’m home. I know what I need to do for my family as a whole, my wife and our kids even tho they are now in college or on their own.

We practice mostly f/t chastity, orgasm control and it may sound one-sided but man oh man, have I learned about my own sexuality, Equality in our marriage and it’s made us even better communicators.

I love serving my wife - it’s like an honor to do things for her. We’ve been in what we consider a female led relationship for about 3 years and we keep expanding it and taking our entire relationship to whole new levels. It’s been an awesome journey and just when we engage in something hot that can’t be topped (pun intended???) we engage in something that’s even hotter that we talk about for days or weeks.

 

[Goldenfinger]

Agree with trooper6.

I was in the army (19K, dumb ass tanker) and have really found out over time the joy of being submissive. I was in the army and now in a private sector job that’s pretty stressful. So being submissive really helps my mind when I’m home. I know what I need to do for my family as a whole, my wife and our kids even tho they are now in college or on their own.

We practice mostly f/t chastity, orgasm control and it may sound one-sided but man oh man, have I learned about my own sexuality, Equality in our marriage and it’s made us even better communicators.

I love serving my wife - it’s like an honor to do things for her. We’ve been in what we consider a female led relationship for about 3 years and we keep expanding it and taking our entire relationship to whole new levels. It’s been an awesome journey and just when we engage in something hot that can’t be topped (pun intended???) we engage in something that’s even hotter that we talk about for days or weeks.

I have to agree. When you’ve been in high stress or positions of extreme responsibility it nice to let control go.

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Glad to see the thread has continued to encourage thoughtful and honest discussion

 

[wildp]

i wouldn't mind female in control of and us

 

[newhere2learn]

I have to agree. When you’ve been in high stress or positions of extreme responsibility it nice to let control go.

Totally agree.. current FWB is entirely submissive, and while that's normally fine... If I've had a very pressurised week and I'm fried, her desperation to please and lack of taking the initiative is very irritating.

To go home to a woman who was dominant, and such would be very relaxing.

 

[Kitschshaman]

I have to agree. When you’ve been in high stress or positions of extreme responsibility it nice to let control go.

I think you've put your finger on the pulse of the thing. A person cannot let go of responsibility of all aspects of life, but by the same token, to be expected to be the do all and end all for all the needs of another human being is unreasonable. Sometimes you just have to let go the reins and let someone else lead.

 

[policywank]

I am the wife in an FLR. My husband is completely submissive to me but has a pretty high level of responsibility in his job. That is part of why he likes to sub.

A number of my lovers are the same. Invariably it is the guys who are used to having responsibility and appreciate a break from it as long as they trust the woman to whom they cede control.

 

[Kitschshaman]

I am the wife in an FLR. My husband is completely submissive to me but has a pretty high level of responsibility in his job. That is part of why he likes to sub.

A number of my lovers are the same. Invariably it is the guys who are used to having responsibility a nd appreciate a break from it as long as they trust the woman to whom they cede control.

Your caveat at the end is the key, the foundation to the whole thing. Trust is the bedrock of being able to extend the gift of vulnerability. To give oneself in such a fashion is to give that person the power to destroy you, a very dangerous thing, if the trust is not misplaced.

 

[submio]

I have to agree. When you’ve been in high stress or positions of extreme responsibility it nice to let control go.

In my household, that’s called a mind eraser. She can make me not only forget about my day at work but also how to spell my name.

 

[submio]

https://66.media.tumblr.com/99c9e1d33a5e20531daf007d80824669/tumblr_p8buj60iGw1wrwmc8o1_r1_640.jpg

Very funny, though with the size of that, the top two things should be reversed.

 

[policywank]

Your caveat at the end is the key, the foundation to the whole thing. Trust is the bedrock of being able to extend the gift of vulnerability. To give oneself in such a fashion is to give that person the power to destroy you, a very dangerous thing, if the trust is not misplaced.

Absolutely right. The standard of responsibility to your partner is very high. If one assumes control then one assumes a huge responsibility for how things work out. As the lead I don't control all variables but I do control how many variables my man is exposed to. It is leadership and leaders don't get to use "that isn't what I meant to happen" or "it was that person's fault" as excuses.

 

[Ramjet6767]

I would love to be in a FLR. giving all control to her to have me do everything she demands. To be totally controlled and demaned to do what she wishes.... mmmmm. I however have not found such a woman. If i do, id willingly be under her complete control.

 

[Ramjet6767]

I wonder how many men would be lining up to apply for that dream job

Me, me, please.... pick me....
Fuck! Id love this as long as i get all my personal needs and fantasies met. Im in...

 

[Kitschshaman]

Absolutely right. The standard of responsibility to your partner is very high. If one assumes control then one assumes a huge responsibility for how things work out. As the lead I don't control all variables but I do control how many variables my man is exposed to. It is leadership and leaders don't get to use "that isn't what I meant to happen" or "it was that person's fault" as excuses.

Both you and your partner are exceptionally lucky to have found each other in knowing that trust. I don't think I've ever had that and aspire to it. There is only one person with whom I would ever have shared that level of physical and emotional intimacy with and it just never worked out, due to timing (which can be a bitch) and the cruel sense of humor of the gods. To know that your partner will do everything in their power to make certain you are fulfilled in heart, mind and soul is a great gift, each to the other. I dream of it. I envy you and find joy that the dream does, somewhere, exists. Thank you.

 

[Scareltt]

Husband is getting an attitude adjustment..

Last night I went to a socially distant costume party with a date. I was Rosy the Riveter. I told my husband I’d be home about 11ish so he could go to a grown up Halloween party in our subdivision..

I was having a nice time and about 9:30 I sent him a text letting him know I was having fun and that I’d probably take an Uber home, and not to stay up. He didn’t reply, but that’s fine.

Fast forward to today. He was all huffy with me this morning, he still made me breakfast, then went outside to do some yard work. When he came back in he was still grumpy with me. He was upset the didn’t get to go to his party.

Because of his attitude he’s now spending the next 40 minutes in a cold shower. I’m watching him shiver on FaceTime. He will also have to shave in the shower. It’s funny how the cold water makes everything shrivel up. When he gets out I’ll recage his penis and he’s not getting an orgasm for 17 days. He doesn’t know about that part.

Chastity isn’t treated as a punishment.. well as far as he knows it’s not a punishment, but attitude is everything...

This is what our Wife Led Marriage looks like.

He has 32 minutes left..

 

[Kitschshaman]

Just a little post to bring this up to the first page where it belongs.
regards to Lady Jennaxx and her follower Policywank.
xoxo

 

[waratah]

Last night I went to a socially distant costume party with a date. I was Rosy the Riveter. I told my husband I’d be home about 11ish so he could go to a grown up Halloween party in our subdivision..

I was having a nice time and about 9:30 I sent him a text letting him know I was having fun and that I’d probably take an Uber home, and not to stay up. He didn’t reply, but that’s fine.

Fast forward to today. He was all huffy with me this morning, he still made me breakfast, then went outside to do some yard work. When he came back in he was still grumpy with me. He was upset the didn’t get to go to his party.

Because of his attitude he’s now spending the next 40 minutes in a cold shower. I’m watching him shiver on FaceTime. He will also have to shave in the shower. It’s funny how the cold water makes everything shrivel up. When he gets out I’ll recage his penis and he’s not getting an orgasm for 17 days. He doesn’t know about that part.

Chastity isn’t treated as a punishment.. well as far as he knows it’s not a punishment, but attitude is everything...

This is what our Wife Led Marriage looks like.

He has 32 minutes left..

So you renege on a deal, and husband suffers domestic violence as a consequence. You'll understand if I don't sign up for the same.

 

[Kitschshaman]

So you renege on a deal, and husband suffers domestic violence as a consequence. You'll understand if I don't sign up for the same.

Agreed. FLR means 'female led relationship'. In Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War', he emphasizes that leadership must be trustworthy. That means that the subordinate must be confident of either punishment or reward based upon performance. When the punishment is arbitrary, it's no longer punishment, it's abuse. Therefore the leadership is untrustworthy and thus unworthy. I have been in a relationship where I was abused by a sociopath woman. I will never do that again. I dream of a relationship where I care for and am cared for, in an FLR. To entrust my gift of care to an unworthy leader is to abuse myself. That's a non-starter.

 

[MissMandy86]

I always thought of marrying a well off cuck that would support me in a ... nice house with a pool
Separate bedrooms. My bedroom would have a hidden camera that i could shut off with a switch..

While i go out and party most nights he would stay home doing chores and whe
When i brang home a male friend.. i would lock my hubby up in an old wood style stockade in his bedroom while he stare at the tv ... that the camera is connected to ..

I would only have sex with hubby when he was wearing a strap on .. this way he experiences it but not feels it

And only allow him to release once a month on my thigh as he humps my leg .. like a dog

 

[MissMandy86]

Have a slew of other ideas to go along with that but dont have the time today to type it out

 

[SlutAddicted]

So you renege on a deal, and husband suffers domestic violence as a consequence. You'll understand if I don't sign up for the same.

I have to say I agree. I enjoy following my wife's lead. That includes bending to her every whim. But she uses that authority judiciously. It isn't arbitrary and capricious unless it is for something that she knows I will enjoy or something that is for her but doesn't take away from/punish me.

Like a lot of cuckolds I enjoy and indulge in things that some guys might not enjoy. And to an outsider it might look like my wife is "compelling" me to do something undesirable but she knows darn well that I am enjoying it. Like wise if she "denies" me it is all part of fetish play that I enjoy. There is a selfishness to it for her at times but not cruelty or meanness.

 

[Mebella99]

Agreed. FLR means 'female led relationship'. In Sun Tzu's 'The Art of War', he emphasizes that leadership must be trustworthy. That means that the subordinate must be confident of either punishment or reward based upon performance. When the punishment is arbitrary, it's no longer punishment, it's abuse. Therefore the leadership is untrustworthy and thus unworthy. I have been in a relationship where I was abused by a sociopath woman. I will never do that again. I dream of a relationship where I care for and am cared for, in an FLR. To entrust my gift of care to an unworthy leader is to abuse myself. That's a non-starter.

Putting aside the source. This same concept is taught in management and leadership courses and its basic operant conditioning from my psych 101 courses. It’s tied up in ethics also. And that’s not to say any leader won’t make selfish, self centered decisions at times.

My comment is more about how long it takes to develop the deep trust needed to surrender your vulnerability and the ways people surrender it.
Since I’ve realized I wanted some version of a woman led something with someone...I’ve really become aware of my stuff and the work needed in making a space for this in my life. I am doing this intentionally and with intentionality. because really I want to engender those feelings of safety, security, trust, etc. I want to cause someone to want to follow where I lead us - mistakes and all. Lol I want to be the leader they need and want. I want someone to trust me enough to surrender their vulnerability - all of it, everywhere. It sounds so corny, but I’m an idealist.
I appreciate the comments and conversation.

 

[Kitschshaman]

Putting aside the source. This same concept is taught in management and leadership courses and its basic operant conditioning from my psych 101 courses. It’s tied up in ethics also. And that’s not to say any leader won’t make selfish, self centered decisions at times.

My comment is more about how long it takes to develop the deep trust needed to surrender your vulnerability and the ways people surrender it.
Since I’ve realized I wanted some version of a woman led something with someone...I’ve really become aware of my stuff and the work needed in making a space for this in my life. I am doing this intentionally and with intentionality. because really I want to engender those feelings of safety, security, trust, etc. I want to cause someone to want to follow where I lead us - mistakes and all. Lol I want to be the leader they need and want. I want someone to trust me enough to surrender their vulnerability - all of it, everywhere. It sounds so corny, but I’m an idealist.
I appreciate the comments and conversation.

Being one myself, I don't think there's anything wrong with being an idealist. It's difficult at times, but maintaining honest thoughts and doing one's best has become sort of a habit. I'm glad you mentioned true trust in this context, because that's the bedrock foundation. I think part of the difficulty a lot of people have with talking about trust is that they don't know what it is. They knew generally, but not specifically. Trust is the ability to predict behavior. There are all kinds of trust. There's the trust of your next door neighbor that you trust to borrow a tool or your car and knowing they'll return them in good condition. There is the trust of a soldier in the foxhole, where they trust their buddy to have their back no matter what mud hits the fan and then there is the trust of a lover, where you trust that person to not intentionally hurt/abuse you when you are at your most vulnerable physically and emotionally. I dream of trusting someone that much in an FLR, trusting them to take care of me with the same conscious care that I take with them. The price to pay is that development of that kind of trust takes time to earn and if that trust is ever broken the time to re-establish it multiplies a thousandfold and then the seams of the repair are still rough to the emotional skin. Pardon the epistle here, but it's something I've thought about a great deal.
Thank you for listening,