Litiquette VII

My ability to provide high quality sex to my partner is:

  • I am without a doubt the highest quality sex partner there is. I will make you cum and I will cum, a

    Votes: 54 25.2%
  • I have more kinks than most, nothing inappropriate but you’ll be shocked at what I like

    Votes: 107 50.0%
  • I’m good. I get the job done, not much flair but there’ll be no need for masturbation after

    Votes: 46 21.5%
  • I mostly provide sex as a service. I’ve never really enjoyed it so I won’t seek it out, but when ask

    Votes: 1 0.5%
  • I’m as vanilla as it gets. I hope you have a great imagination, you’ll likely need it to keep things

    Votes: 6 2.8%

  • Total voters
    214
We missed Litiquette: the Filthy Friday edition this week.
How’s about a Sultry Sunday? Sordid Sunday? Sexy Sunday?
Something.

Afterplay.
Yep, it’s a thing. Google it.
What’s your ideal, and is that what usually happens?

Stay in bed covered in bodily fluids and drift off together in a sticky mess, whispering sweet nothings of, “Babe that was so fuckin hot...?” ;)

Or hop off each other, appalled at what you’ve just done, singing “oops I did it again” in your head, and shower off, change the sheets, clothe back up?*

Do you have a little post-game wrap up? What worked? MVP moves and maneuvers? Areas for growth?

Maybe you just lay and glow for a spell, face down and drooling, foggy headed and glad to be alive, one arm flailing about, searching for the person that just did this to you...

:)

*fuck that noise
 
The ideal way to wrap up is with his tongue allll over my body, licking clean the mess he just made of me.

After that, falling asleep with the evidence of our love making still clinging to our bodies and lips is heaven. No showers for me, unless it's beforehand when he drops to his knees and ravishes my freshly-clean bum.

<sighs dreamily>

Uh, I don't think I have anything to add.
 
I'm definitely not a sit in bodily fluids kind of person. I have an impressive eject reflex that is all kinds of messy.

And like trekka- I'm partial to a lot of body hair. 🥰
 
The ideal way to wrap up is with his tongue allll over my body, licking clean the mess he just made of me.

After that, falling asleep with the evidence of our love making still clinging to our bodies and lips is heaven. No showers for me, unless it's beforehand when he drops to his knees and ravishes my freshly-clean bum.

<sighs dreamily>

That essentially said it all. Exactly as I was going to say before seeing this reply. Including the shower fun.

Which is weird lol.
 
Post coitus? Well, I’m not a sleep in the wet spot kind of guy so unless some preliminary prep work involving the strategic placement of a towel or use of a condom took place then sheets are going to get changed. Maybe not very romantic but I’m who I am on this, but if the wet spot isn’t an issue then I’m going to cuddle for a bit, get up, go to the bathroom, take a whiz, use a wet washcloth and take a warmed wet washcloth to my sex partner. After she’s had her opportunity to visit the bathroom then I like to hold her as we fall asleep for the night or for the time we have until one of us has to leave.
 
Whst are you thoughts on profanity?
Does it feel like everyone now days talks like a sailor and it’s accepted?
Are there people, places or events you feel it’s inappropriate?
Certain words that you only say when it’s about to get real?
Your kids let the f bomb drop in front of you?

I sing the four letter chorus way too much. As a writer, I'd like to think that I can find better ways to express myself. But too often I let mutter expletives.

When I'm here and in sexual conversations, though, dirty words are more fun. What can I say? But for public consumption it's too much these days.

A few weeks ago, I went to a comedy club to support a co-worker. It was open mic night. I found myself becoming uncomfortable because all these comics were confusing four-letter rants and diatribes with comedy. Comedy is all about the build up, the hidden punch, the unexpected. All these people--and they had comics from 75 down to 21--were just one profanity after the other and calling it comedy. I don't know that I'll got again.
 
I do like a hairy chest and a smooth ball... No beards, though. And absolutely no stubble *shudders*

I like to keep up with my own 'personal maintenance'. I prefer a short trim in the lady garden, 5mm or so, to all off. I'm told a little hair there traps the musky odours in a sexy way :devil: And I think it looks better, especially during regrowth.

I'm thinking of buying one of those IPL laser hair removal things this winter for legs, underarms, bikini line. Sort it out in a fortnightly zap.
 
^^^^^ Numi!
I wanna know how that thinger works for the underarm hair.

I haven’t kissed a smooth soft face for sooooo many years.
Definitely a fan of chest hair.
And a fan of things kept trimmed, no need to rock a full Chewbacca down there in the bits of no return.

We all somewhat claim the don’t really care on the grooming - but then down the road, first comes love and then comes marriage....
Let’s keep it real here, the subtle hints of trimming.
Thank you porn industry for showing us that bare and smooth is the new sexy.
Trends and maybe I’ll try this or that.

Influencers have been around long before Instagram and YouTube. Hello Hallmark and Valentines Day.
Everyone wants to make money, and telling one how to look and feel sexier and younger is a gold mine.


After play:

Morning sex: cuddle afterwards for a bit. Dash into the shower and coffee and chocolatey eclairs for breakfast.

Afternoon quickie: a quick cleanup and hello the faint smell of sex all over my body.
Sometimes the hours of damp panties can be too much.

Night time nookie: I’m ravished, spent, left breathless and there’s no way in hell my legs are in working order. My brain still trying to unravel what in the hell and my body covered in goosebumps.
Hello towel clean up and there’s a glass of ice water on the night stand. Toys flung off the side to be cleaned and put away in the morning. Where in the hell are my glasses. These panties are destroyed.
Cuddle and spoon as we drift off to sleep.
 
Happy Thanksgiving to our Canadian hotties.
Maybe you feast on turkey and indulge on pear Brandy all day.

Simple today, make it light hearted or get down and serious.
What do you judge people for most often?
 
We missed Litiquette: the Filthy Friday edition this week.
How’s about a Sultry Sunday? Sordid Sunday? Sexy Sunday?
Something.

Afterplay.
Yep, it’s a thing. Google it.
What’s your ideal, and is that what usually happens?

Stay in bed covered in bodily fluids and drift off together in a sticky mess, whispering sweet nothings of, “Babe that was so fuckin hot...?” ;)

Or hop off each other, appalled at what you’ve just done, singing “oops I did it again” in your head, and shower off, change the sheets, clothe back up?*

Do you have a little post-game wrap up? What worked? MVP moves and maneuvers? Areas for growth?

Maybe you just lay and glow for a spell, face down and drooling, foggy headed and glad to be alive, one arm flailing about, searching for the person that just did this to you...

:)

*fuck that noise

I think i have discussed this before but, if I clean up after it's only because I was hopping in the shower anyway. At night, once the after embrace is thru, I'm asleep in 10 mins or less.
Most of my sex occurs with the sun up now. If I've showered already, I'm likely dressing and heading off with the sex drying on my cock and scarring the interior of my boxer briefs.

One of my guilty pleasures is later in that day at work or perhaps that evening at a restaurant or a ballgame (in non-covid times), when I take out my cock at the urinal, usually within a few secs I'm reminded of the romp from earlier in the day. I wonder if the guy at the urinal next to me can smell it too. Love that smell.
 
Happy Thanksgiving to our Canadian hotties.
Maybe you feast on turkey and indulge on pear Brandy all day.

Simple today, make it light hearted or get down and serious.
What do you judge people for most often?

These days, it's pretty much political leanings that get me breaking out the gavel.
 
Happy Thanksgiving to our Canadian hotties.
Maybe you feast on turkey and indulge on pear Brandy all day.

Simple today, make it light hearted or get down and serious.
What do you judge people for most often?

Overall it's on the type of person that they've shown themselves to be and my opinion of them can change for the worse or the better. So yeah, I'm pretty much with AGG on this one.
 
Happy Thanksgiving to our Canadian hotties.
Maybe you feast on turkey and indulge on pear Brandy all day.

Simple today, make it light hearted or get down and serious.
What do you judge people for most often?

Thank you. 😘

Superficially? One's shoes. Something I've always noticed. I'm not going to hold "bad" shoes against anyone, but if you have some cool, cute, sexy, classy, maybe a cool colour matching your attire, I'm likely to judge you in a "good" way.

As a person, how you treat others. Not so much me, but other people you see or interact with in your everyday life. I'm not gonna judge for political leanings, we all different, but we can (likely) all be kind.
 
Table etiquette.
When dining out, it blows my mind how many people don’t use both a fork and knife when eating.
The side of the fork is not for cutting - not a pancake, potatoes, broccoli....Nothing!
Your finger is not for sliding that little bit of whatever’s left on your plate onto the fork.
(And then licking your finger.) 😬
A knife is used for both cutting your food and then sliding it into the fork.
I’m certainly not pinky-up, high class fancy pants, but man oh man.

Also, the habitual use of the word “ummm.”
It’s an absolutely horrid habit and comes across as you have no idea what to add to the discussion and are only talking to be heard.
A few ummms can slip, maaaaybeee three. But anymore and I’ve lost interest in anything you’re saying.

This might very well send me over: dinner with someone using their fingers and every 14th word is “ummm..”
Check please.
 
Table etiquette.
When dining out, it blows my mind how many people don’t use both a fork and knife when eating.
The side of the fork is not for cutting - not a pancake, potatoes, broccoli....Nothing!
Your finger is not for sliding that little bit of whatever’s left on your plate onto the fork.
(And then licking your finger.) 😬
A knife is used for both cutting your food and then sliding it into the fork.
I’m certainly not pinky-up, high class fancy pants, but man oh man.

Also, the habitual use of the word “ummm.”
It’s an absolutely horrid habit and comes across as you have no idea what to add to the discussion and are only talking to be heard.
A few ummms can slip, maaaaybeee three. But anymore and I’ve lost interest in anything you’re saying.

This might very well send me over: dinner with someone using their fingers and every 14th word is “ummm..”
Check please.

Hey Costanza, do you eat your Snickers bar with a knife and fork? 😆
 
I do like a hairy chest and a smooth ball...

^^This. But I like beards. Stubble too. Lol.
I appreciate a man who takes care of himself.
Clean. Smells like soap. ❤
Grooming does not equate to being less masculine.

Table etiquette.
When dining out, it blows my mind how many people don’t use both a fork and knife when eating.
The side of the fork is not for cutting - not a pancake, potatoes, broccoli....Nothing!
Your finger is not for sliding that little bit of whatever’s left on your plate onto the fork.
(And then licking your finger.) 😬
A knife is used for both cutting your food and then sliding it into the fork.
I’m certainly not pinky-up, high class fancy pants, but man oh man.

I'm going to add to this and say people who don't push in their chairs. It bugs me.
 
Table etiquette.
When dining out, it blows my mind how many people don’t use both a fork and knife when eating.
The side of the fork is not for cutting - not a pancake, potatoes, broccoli....Nothing!
Your finger is not for sliding that little bit of whatever’s left on your plate onto the fork.
(And then licking your finger.) 😬
A knife is used for both cutting your food and then sliding it into the fork.
I’m certainly not pinky-up, high class fancy pants, but man oh man.

Also, the habitual use of the word “ummm.”
It’s an absolutely horrid habit and comes across as you have no idea what to add to the discussion and are only talking to be heard.
A few ummms can slip, maaaaybeee three. But anymore and I’ve lost interest in anything you’re saying.

This might very well send me over: dinner with someone using their fingers and every 14th word is “ummm..”
Check please.
Omg!!!!!! Completely agree here!!!!! This behavior makes my teeth hurt.

Also, if I may add, being too loud in a restaurant drives me insane. Have some courtesy for those around you.
 
I have to say.. table etiquette can have too many cultural factors for me to judge this one. (I was in charm school since the 5th grade. We'd certainly be able to dine together)
I'm more likely to judge someone who is incapable of appreciating someone else's journey. Do you make fun of that fat man running because he's wearing the wrong outfit? Do you assume that the dialysis patient is a junkie? I have a hard time with that.

And going back to that body discussion - I want to smell you on my skin. I want to realize midway through the afternoon that you've stained my panties. I don't need you to scoop it into a wine glass as an aperitif
 
Table etiquette.
When dining out, it blows my mind how many people don’t use both a fork and knife when eating.
The side of the fork is not for cutting - not a pancake, potatoes, broccoli....Nothing!
Your finger is not for sliding that little bit of whatever’s left on your plate onto the fork.
(And then licking your finger.) 😬
A knife is used for both cutting your food and then sliding it into the fork.
I’m certainly not pinky-up, high class fancy pants, but man oh man.

Also, the habitual use of the word “ummm.”
It’s an absolutely horrid habit and comes across as you have no idea what to add to the discussion and are only talking to be heard.
A few ummms can slip, maaaaybeee three. But anymore and I’ve lost interest in anything you’re saying.

This might very well send me over: dinner with someone using their fingers and every 14th word is “ummm..”
Check please.

I am a cut stuff with the side of my fork kind of guy. Why get your knife all messy if you don't have to? It's just one more dish to wash. Other than that I am fairly civilized. I never wear my hat at the table, I always say please and thank you and I almost never pop crackers into my mouth using my erection as a springboard.

The ummm thing drives me crazy too. There should be a law that every time someone says um they have to give five minutes of oral sex to someone chosen by the person they are speaking to.

Problem solved. Plus, Fun!
 
I am a cut stuff with the side of my fork kind of guy. Why get your knife all messy if you don't have to? It's just one more dish to wash. Other than that I am fairly civilized. I never wear my hat at the table, I always say please and thank you and I almost never pop crackers into my mouth using my erection as a springboard.

The ummm thing drives me crazy too. There should be a law that every time someone says um they have to give five minutes of oral sex to someone chosen by the person they are speaking to.

Problem solved. Plus, Fun!

Am I the only one who really really wants to see this? :eek::devil::)
 
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