What feedback should I give?

[Lysander444]

What feedback should I give to a story that is very well written, with a lot of interesting ideas and an original setting, but sex scenes that are pretty lame? I would like to encourage the author to keep writing non-smut, but I do not want to appear offensive...

 

[astuffedshirt_perv]

Say "I found your story very well written, with a lot of interesting ideas and an original setting, but sex scenes that are pretty lame."

Now, if you could specify why they are lame--too short? missing descriptions? That would be ideal

 

[KeithD]

"I particularly liked . . ."

"Your writing would, I think, be received well in the mainstream, writing for the mainstream."

 

[RandyD1369]

Why would you encourage the author to keep writing non-smut if you can also encourage him/her to write hotter sex-scenes?

Or...

Obviously, I don't know what kind of story you're talking about, but why would it be wrong for an author to write awesome erotic stories with lots of build-up, but little details on inserting Tab A into Slot B? Erotica can be so much more than sex.

We all have different marks we hope to hit with our work. In some categories (Romance, for one), "restraining" the detailed description of sex can be a benefit, not a bug. The perfect example of this is LKilkenny's "Always #2." It is ranked at a VERY respectable 4.88, but has almost no detailed sex at all. One of the reader's comments even thanked the author for "leaving it to the readers' imaginations." It would've taken very little to market that story as a mainstream romance. [Full disclosure: I edited that story for him and told him not to worry about it, that readers would love it. And, they clearly did. RandyD1369] I would NOT recommend that approach for most other categories, but it works well in Romance and Sci-fi/Fantasy.

 

[SimonDoom]

I don't think it's our place to recommend the direction another person should take their writing "career." In this case I would start off by emphasizing the things you liked about the writing. Everything else you say will then more likely be well received. Then you should make specific comments or suggestions about the sex scenes and note what could be done to make them better.

 

[8letters]

What feedback should I give to a story that is very well written, with a lot of interesting ideas and an original setting, but sex scenes that are pretty lame? I would like to encourage the author to keep writing non-smut, but I do not want to appear offensive...

KeithD has slapped me around on this, and I sadly must admit he's right. Just because a writer has submitted a story doesn't mean he/she is open to negative feedback. I'd suggest sending the author a PM with the "very well written and a lot of interesting ideas" part. If the author comes back and asks about how to improve his/her writing, then bring up the lameness of the sex scenes.

 

[SimonDoom]

KeithD has slapped me around on this, and I sadly must admit he's right. Just because a writer has submitted a story doesn't mean he/she is open to negative feedback. I'd suggest sending the author a PM with the "very well written and a lot of interesting ideas" part. If the author comes back and asks about how to improve his/her writing, then bring up the lameness of the sex scenes.

I've modified my view a bit on this subject, too, but I think it's a judgment call, and that it depends. A number of factors come into play: 1) has the author solicited comments? 2) has the author been receptive to or sought comments in the past? 3) do you have a combination of good and bad things to say, or only bad? 4) is your criticism well-founded or just your personal opinion? 5) do you genuinely believe the author could make his/her story better by listening to your criticism? 6) how likely is it, in your honestly held opinion, that the author will be receptive to the criticism and have the ability and willingness to make improvements.

There's no point, ever, in just telling someone that they suck. It's just mean, and if you do that it's about you, no them. Criticism should be constructive.

Sometimes I decline to give comments when I don't believe the author will be able to apply whatever I'm recommending. I feel that way sometimes about grammar issues. Some writers really do not "get" English grammar and I get the feeling that they're not going to take the time to try to get it no matter what I say. Then I don't bother. But if I read something that's good but has a flaw --like an obviously unintended glitch in POV or tense or comma use in dialogue (all extremely common) -- then I might point it out.

An engaging and less confrontational way to make a criticism is to phrase it as a question: why did you choose to write it this way? I wonder what you meant when you . . ..

But don't tell people that they or their writing sucks.

 

[Lysander444]

KeithD has slapped me around on this, and I sadly must admit he's right. Just because a writer has submitted a story doesn't mean he/she is open to negative feedback. I'd suggest sending the author a PM with the "very well written and a lot of interesting ideas" part. If the author comes back and asks about how to improve his/her writing, then bring up the lameness of the sex scenes.

That's exactly what I was asking for. Thanks.

I've modified my view a bit on this subject, too, but I think it's a judgment call, and that it depends. A number of factors come into play: 1) has the author solicited comments? 2) has the author been receptive to or sought comments in the past? 3) do you have a combination of good and bad things to say, or only bad? 4) is your criticism well-founded or just your personal opinion? 5) do you genuinely believe the author could make his/her story better by listening to your criticism? 6) how likely is it, in your honestly held opinion, that the author will be receptive to the criticism and have the ability and willingness to make improvements.

There's no point, ever, in just telling someone that they suck. It's just mean, and if you do that it's about you, no them. Criticism should be constructive.

Sometimes I decline to give comments when I don't believe the author will be able to apply whatever I'm recommending. I feel that way sometimes about grammar issues. Some writers really do not "get" English grammar and I get the feeling that they're not going to take the time to try to get it no matter what I say. Then I don't bother. But if I read something that's good but has a flaw --like an obviously unintended glitch in POV or tense or comma use in dialogue (all extremely common) -- then I might point it out.

An engaging and less confrontational way to make a criticism is to phrase it as a question: why did you choose to write it this way? I wonder what you meant when you . . ..

But don't tell people that they or their writing sucks.

As I said, his/her writing does not suck at all, otherwise, I would not be so keen to suggest him to write non-smut. It is quite a strange feeling to open a book because you are interested in the sex scenes, then stopping to ponder about all those interesting details in the world-building and in the moral choices facing the protagonists. To be honest, I completely forgot to fap because I was too interested!

 

[SimonDoom]

As I said, his/her writing does not suck at all, otherwise, I would not be so keen to suggest him to write non-smut. It is quite a strange feeling to open a book because you are interested in the sex scenes, then stopping to ponder about all those interesting details in the world-building and in the moral choices facing the protagonists. To be honest, I completely forgot to fap because I was too interested!

I didn't mean to imply that's what you said. I would just recommend being careful not to use the word "lame" or anything like that to describe the way the sex scenes were written, or to suggest that the author should stop writing about sex. Offer a few constructive tips on how to write better scenes.

 

[nylonpunkie]

Communicating with commenters

I really enjoy feedback and comments, though sometimes I wish we could have a conversation about them. I genuinely wonder what they meant and would like to explore their thoughts to help me develop as a writer.
For example someone recently said my sex scenes should be more 'robust'...

 

[NotWise]

I really enjoy feedback and comments, though sometimes I wish we could have a conversation about them. I genuinely wonder what they meant and would like to explore their thoughts to help me develop as a writer.
For example someone recently said my sex scenes should be more 'robust'...

The site is incrementally modifying the comments interface to allow threaded comments.

We don't really know how many readers stay around to look for a reply. My experience suggests that a few do.

I think that threaded comments are mostly a way for readers to interact with each other. Moderating comments has always been primarily the authors' responsibility. Moderating threaded comments could become a challenge for many authors.

 

[SisterJezabel]

What feedback should I give to a story that is very well written, with a lot of interesting ideas and an original setting, but sex scenes that are pretty lame? I would like to encourage the author to keep writing non-smut, but I do not want to appear offensive...

i think it's always important to realise that whilst our opinions are valid, they are our opinions and we can't tell an author how or what they should write. I'd be happy to receive feedback that said the reader liked my style, but were concerned the sex scenes were boring. But I'd also like some guidance on who to read to improve my writing- a 'Have you read any of Xs works? They write prolifically in this section and manage to combine, imho, the write amount of smut to detail.'

 

[Salacious_Scribe]

I once got feedback from a reader who praised me for leaving details to the imagination but complained the sex scenes were too sketchy. I made a concious decision to write the story that way.

I had another where I wrote the most unerotic sex I could. It was he put his penis inside her and slid it in and out several times...

It was a style choice to show how boring and run of the mill the couples sex was, to contrasst with the sexual awakening that would come later in the story. Surprisingly no bad comments about insert tab D into slot P sex.

The author may have written the story that way for a reason.

 

[Abbafan]

What feedback should I give to a story that is very well written, with a lot of interesting ideas and an original setting, but sex scenes that are pretty lame? I would like to encourage the author to keep writing non-smut, but I do not want to appear offensive...

Pretty much what you wrote is fine.

I'd rate such a story a 4 or 5. It's good to encourage a writer who has some skills.

 

[shawnavinyltv]

In general, I find giving specific examples of what you liked is a great way to encourage a writer. I personally, like hearing what people enjoyed about the stories. Some have pointed out that writers may have written certain stories for a certain way, so I'd go very easy on any negative feedback. Its sometimes tough to make negative feedback not sound like a personal attack. Also, if they're not open to it, that can make it even more unwelcome. If you do give negative feedback, try to get detailed, but without being nit-picky. As a few folks have noted, the story might have been told that way for a reason. I know I had one instance where I got a note that the story 'He dresses up and gives a blow job. Ho-hum! Read it 50 dozen times already. Nothing here.' But that's how the story went, the results of this one don't compare to some of the stories where I literally have bondage and group sex. But not all stories are going to go the same way. Some are personal and intimate, some are wild and kinky, just like people.

Bottom line, try to give feedback that you'd be willing to get.