Need advice on foot fetish and sex scene jumps

[Salacious_Scribe]

Question the First

I am writing sex scenes between two couples. These scenes are taking place simultniously. I am cutting back and forth between the two encounters. I have put sample text below, per lit rules only a few sentences the actual scenes are longer.

Gabby felt ashamed that when she thought the word man she pictured Mr. Napier and not Matt. She tried to get his image out of her mind, but the memory of his unsahved face against the tender skin of her breast was much more erotic than Matt smelling her feet. “Come up here and kiss me,” she commanded her finacee.
( ¥ ) ( ¥ ) ( ¥ )

Sally stood up and offered her hand. "I know it won't fix anything, but it should make you feel better. Tonight, anything goes," as she led him into his bedroom....

{Kiss kiss}
{strip strip}

Jack put a naked Sally over his knee. "Now, Bitch this is because of the shitty attitude you had earlier," Jack said as he caressed the smooth rounded globes of his sometime lovers 19-year-old ass. "I can't wait to fuck this ass when it's all nice and bruised,' he told himself as he let his hand fly.
( ¥ ) ( ¥ ) ( ¥ )

Matt let her foot slip from his hand and he cleared his throat. "Sorry my love, but you know what ankle socks do to me." He got off his knees and sat on the bed....
​

Here's the question.
If you've written sex scenes like this how was it recieved?
If you haven't, would jumping from sex scene to sex scene affect your enjoyment of the story?

Question B

Matt the Fiancee is a minor character and he has a foot fetish, (Not my idea). The only thing I know about people with a foot fetish is from stories and XXX videos. They make it seem that men with a Foot Fetish tend toward the submissive side of the kink spectrum. I don't know if that's true IRL but Every time I see a video with a foot fetishist, its a sub guy with a Dominatrix. Never saw a clip of a male Top sniffing or licking a female subs foot. TBH never looked for one.

So is the sterotype true that only sub men have a foot fetish? Or do non sub men fetishize feet as well.

TIA

 

[ElectricBlue]

Your scene jumping scenario sounds odd to me. What's the purpose of the parallel telling? Based on the short extracts you've given us, it would end up in confusion, I think.

Can't really comment on foot fetish as I've never written one, but I not sure that domme/sub is an essential factor. A fetish is a fetish, being submissive is something different.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

Agree your samples look confusing and would jerk me out of enjoying the sex scene. How about doing one scene, then "Meanwhile, in Sally's hotel room..."?

I know a couple non-subby foot-lovers, one male, one female. With the woman you'd hardly notice, as admiring heels and stockings and fondling legs seems a normal part of sex with women. The guy, it's noticeable mainly for his friends (mostly female, though he likes men too) asking for a foot massage at any opportunity and having to be assured it's ok if he runs your foot over his cock (if you're ok with it and in private, otherwise it's very professional). I figure the happier he is, the more excellent foot massage I get and everyone's a winner.

 

[SimonDoom]

Re Question 1: I think we need to understand what you're trying to accomplish to answer. It doesn't make sense to me to jump from one encounter to another in an erotic story -- continuity is an important aspect of building eroticism and arousal. I think it would kill the mood, but maybe not depending on what you're trying to do.

Question 2: Not only subs have foot fetishes, or fetishes of any kind. I think you can write whatever sort of foot fetishist you want. Strikes me as a difficult fetish to do well in a story, but it could be an interesting challenge.

 

[Salacious_Scribe]

Your scene jumping scenario sounds odd to me. What's the purpose of the parallel telling? Based on the short extracts you've given us, it would end up in confusion, I think.

The two situations are happening at the same time in two different locations. There is a kinda of point counter point happening, as well as the two MC's thinking about the intimate moments they shared as they are with their partners.

She is comparing her obsequious foot fetishist yet vanilla doughy lover to the handsome muscualr older man she has a thing for. She wants a guy who will be kinkier in bed.

He is taking out his anger about something out on a willing FWB and thinking about the petite younger woman he kissed and saw topless earlier. He wants someone who will love him for who he is, not the position he has.


Authors do this all the time in mainstream novels, TV Shows, and Movies. There's always jumps between two or more story arcs. I thought I'd give it a try.

I may need to have a few beta readers for this since I can't post several K worth of text so you can read how it flows.

I think it works but I thought a cuck story in LW would get a Red H. Boy was I wrong.

 

[Salacious_Scribe]

Re Question 1: I think we need to understand what you're trying to accomplish to answer. It doesn't make sense to me to jump from one encounter to another in an erotic story -- continuity is an important aspect of building eroticism and arousal. I think it would kill the mood, but maybe not depending on what you're trying to do.

There is continuity, it's a shared experience in different locations.
GAbby and MAtt are having vanilla sex
Jack and Candy are spanking and anal

Gabby sucks Matts cock and imagines it was Jack...
Candy is sucking Jack as Jack imagines Gabby sucking him...

It's hard to explain, but I like how it works, I just don't know if Lit readers will. It works in every book tv show and movie ever made. But Lit readers are a special breed.

Question 2: Not only subs have foot fetishes, or fetishes of any kind. I think you can write whatever sort of foot fetishist you want. Strikes me as a difficult fetish to do well in a story, but it could be an interesting challenge.[/QUOTE]

He'll get no more than three sex scenes. He is a minor character who will be dumped because he is too Vanilla for his partner, and his fetish borders on obsessive. He whines when she asks him to "fuck me like a man"

 

[SimonDoom]

There is continuity, it's a shared experience in different locations.
GAbby and MAtt are having vanilla sex
Jack and Candy are spanking and anal

Gabby sucks Matts cock and imagines it was Jack...
Candy is sucking Jack as Jack imagines Gabby sucking him...

It's hard to explain, but I like how it works, I just don't know if Lit readers will. It works in every book tv show and movie ever made. But Lit readers are a special breed.

Question 2: Not only subs have foot fetishes, or fetishes of any kind. I think you can write whatever sort of foot fetishist you want. Strikes me as a difficult fetish to do well in a story, but it could be an interesting challenge.

He'll get no more than three sex scenes. He is a minor character who will be dumped because he is too Vanilla for his partner, and his fetish borders on obsessive. He whines when she asks him to "fuck me like a man"[/QUOTE]

It sounds challenging to pull off but interesting. Go for it!

 

[jsmiam]

Topic one, do it! You won’t be paid any less for your time, give it a try. Maybe someday you’ll go down in history as the person who pioneered Or maybe perfected a new style of writing.

Regarding the foot fetish, it’s not in any way the sole (ba-da-boom) domain of submissives at all. Lots of people find feet sexy. By coincidence some femdom erotica portrays foot play as an overarching (tiddy boom) theme, but it’s its own separate world and genre and universe.

 

[Salacious_Scribe]

Agree your samples look confusing and would jerk me out of enjoying the sex scene. How about doing one scene, then "Meanwhile, in Sally's hotel room..."?

There is a flow both couples doing the same action but doing it very differently. I don't think the point counterpoint (sloppy blow job on an aroused cock, vs licking a flaccid dick to get it semi hard) I don't thing this would be as effective if they happend sequentially.

But then again I put a cuck story in LW and expected to get a Red H. So my thinking can and should be called into question.

I know a couple non-subby foot-lovers, one male, one female. With the woman you'd hardly notice, as admiring heels and stockings and fondling legs seems a normal part of sex with women.

Not any woman I've been with but no one would call them normal. My wife freely admits she ain't normal.

The guy, it's noticeable mainly for his friends (mostly female, though he likes men too) asking for a foot massage at any opportunity and having to be assured it's ok if he runs your foot over his cock (if you're ok with it and in private, otherwise it's very professional). I figure the happier he is, the more excellent foot massage I get and everyone's a winner.

I'll never allow a guy to give me a foot massage again. Then again, never had anyone give me one so...


Thanks for your answers.

 

[lovecraft68]

First I think rapid fire switching from one sex scene to another takes away from the heat of both scenes. I feel they are best done one at a time and all the way through.

Picture switching porn videos every 60 seconds. They may both arouse you, but it would be hard to fully get into either.

Foot fetish.

Trust me, I'm the guy to ask. I've have a foot fetish since an age I can't say here.

Yes, it can be submissive...depending on the situation. If its a game where its, lick my feet dog or foot worship," sure.

But in general it doesn't have to be. If a woman knows her partner has a foot fetish she can say "How about a nice footjob?" as a treat

Or picture a woman on her back, her legs up getting pounded hard and fast, and the guy starts licking and sucking her toes because he gets an extra thrill out of it. Nothing submissive there.

Or doggy style where the woman can rest the tops of her feet on the man's lower leg(missionary as well.) anytime they can be put into play so to speak feeds the fetish, its not all about being a form of slavery or control on the woman's part

Its like everything else, its going to depend on the people involved, but the idea its always submissive is wrong

 

[Salacious_Scribe]

Topic one, do it! You won’t be paid any less for your time, give it a try. Maybe someday you’ll go down in history as the person who pioneered Or maybe perfected a new style of writing.

Jumping between scenes is not new at all. It's been done in literature, film and TV.

Look at Homers The Odyssey.

It goes from Odysseus and his crew battling Cyclops and finding a way past the sirens song to Penelope agreeing to marry one of her suitors when she finishes weaving her husbands death shroud and unweaving it at night because she believes he's alive Back to the ship and passing Charybdis and Scylla.

In Les Mis you go from Javert trying to capture Val Jean to a group of rebel students to a corrupt inkeeper back to Javert.

I have never seen a movie, tv show, play or read a book that didn't have scene jumps between characters.

Regarding the foot fetish, it’s not in any way the sole (ba-da-boom) domain of submissives at all. Lots of people find feet sexy. By coincidence some femdom erotica portrays foot play as an overarching (tiddy boom) theme, but it’s its own separate world and genre and universe.

There is a difference between finding feet sexy and having a fetish. I can appreciate a pretty, well maintained pair of feet. I have never thought I want to fuck those toes, or asked a woman (or man) to rub foot on crotch. But I do take your point.

 

[Salacious_Scribe]

First I think rapid fire switching from one sex scene to another takes away from the heat of both scenes. I feel they are best done one at a time and all the way through.

Picture switching porn videos every 60 seconds. They may both arouse you, but it would be hard to fully get into either.

Foot fetish.

Trust me, I'm the guy to ask. I've have a foot fetish since an age I can't say here.

Yes, it can be submissive...depending on the situation. If its a game where its, lick my feet dog or foot worship," sure.

But in general it doesn't have to be. If a woman knows her partner has a foot fetish she can say "How about a nice footjob?" as a treat

Or picture a woman on her back, her legs up getting pounded hard and fast, and the guy starts licking and sucking her toes because he gets an extra thrill out of it. Nothing submissive there.

Or doggy style where the woman can rest the tops of her feet on the man's lower leg(missionary as well.) anytime they can be put into play so to speak feeds the fetish, its not all about being a form of slavery or control on the woman's part

Its like everything else, its going to depend on the people involved, but the idea its always submissive is wrong

I hoped the foot part would attract your attention. This character is a bit extreme and particular. It's not feet, it's womans feet in plain white ankle socks with a pom pom on the back.

He would rather fap while touching and smelling feet in those socks than fuck. He actually whines about having sex with his fiance when she's wearing those socks. She had to beg him, and offer to wear "special" socks afterwards to get him to fuck her.

 

[Salacious_Scribe]

Thank you all for your opinions.

If anyone is willing to look at a larger sample, I would be willing to pm it or share the story through google docs (I'll send a view and comment link via pm) so you can give a more informed opinion.

I like the way it reads, but it is a first draft. Not to mention The only thing I liked about the entire Star Wars franchise was Jar Jar Binks. So my opinions are not usually shared by the general public.

Just let me know via PM or in comments if you are interested in reading more.

Again thank you all.

 

[lovecraft68]

I hoped the foot part would attract your attention. This character is a bit extreme and particular. It's not feet, it's womans feet in plain white ankle socks with a pom pom on the back.

He would rather fap while touching and smelling feet in those socks than fuck. He actually whines about having sex with his fiance when she's wearing those socks. She had to beg him, and offer to wear "special" socks afterwards to get him to fuck her.

Those 80's ankle socks? They have their place LOL

Foot fetish is like any other fetish, it has its sub kinks. Socks do nothing for me, but stockings, especially odd colored ones like green pink are my thing...my wife shops at the Halloween store rather than Victoria Secret.

If he's whiny then yes, the foot thing will be submissive because that's his nature in general, so he'd experience the fetish in that manner. Have her walk around outside bare foot and then make him lick the dirt from her feet, that will drive that point home if its what you want, that's as submissive as that gets.

 

[Salacious_Scribe]

Those 80's ankle socks? They have their place LOL

Foot fetish is like any other fetish, it has its sub kinks. Socks do nothing for me, but stockings, especially odd colored ones like green pink are my thing...my wife shops at the Halloween store rather than Victoria Secret.

If he's whiny then yes, the foot thing will be submissive because that's his nature in general, so he'd experience the fetish in that manner. Have her walk around outside bare foot and then make him lick the dirt from her feet, that will drive that point home if its what you want, that's as submissive as that gets.

Shes just not that into it...

She used to find his obsequious nature sweet, now she's annoyed by it. He won't ever kiss her without brushing his teeth first. He just saw her for the first time in a week and smelled her feet instead of kissing or hugging her. She's lost 16 punds for their wedding, he's gained ten pounds in a week. He looks like a baby faced pilsbury dough boy, without the cuteness.

She is comparing him to someone she met. A rough uncultured guy with a soft side. She wants kinky, the new guy is a Dom.