Feedback for my first story/Looking for an editor.

[KinkyWriter22]

Hi all!

It's KinkyWriter22! I was hoping to get some feedback on my first ever story published here. It's the first chapter in what I hope to be a several part series. I am also looking for an editor! I want to create and publish the best work possible, which can only happen with the help of an editor. If you're interested, leave a comment below my work.

Thanks everyone!

Link to my first story: https://www.literotica.com/s/kyle-more-like-kylie-ch-01

 

[8letters]

Hi all!

It's KinkyWriter22! I was hoping to get some feedback on my first ever story published here. It's the first chapter in what I hope to be a several part series. I am also looking for an editor! I want to create and publish the best work possible, which can only happen with the help of an editor. If you're interested, leave a comment under my work, or email me at (Removed).

Thanks everyone!

Link to my first story: https://www.literotica.com/s/kyle-more-like-kylie-ch-01

Remove your email or the moderator will remove it for you. You can PM people your email address.

I'll take a look at your story later.

Without looking at it, I'll say that it's a bad idea to start your LitE writing career with a chapter series. I made that same mistake! Chapters get much less reads than whole stories (particularly in I/T) and each additional chapter typically gets fewer reads than the one before. You'll learn so much with every story you write, you don't want to lock yourself into continuing a series with a low readership.

 

[KinkyWriter22]

Oh that’s a good point! I may have to reconsider continuing the whole series. Or maybe I’ll make it just a 2/3 part series to wrap it up quickly and maintain readership. Thank you!

 

[8letters]

When I saw that this was an I/T story, I was excited about providing feedback for it. Then I clicked the link and saw that it's a sissification story, and that's not a kink I enjoy. I can't provide you feedback with what makes a good sissification story, so I didn't read very much.

I like to start my stories with an interesting scene. You start your story with two big paragraphs telling the back story of the family, and then we get into a fairly boring scene of Ava talking to Kyle as he's getting ready to go off to college. It was a boring start to me.

When I write a story, I want people to like my main characters. As I don't know what makes a good sissification story, I don't know what makes good main characters for one. Still, Kyle comes across as pathetic to me. I also didn't particularly like Ava given how she invaded her brother's privacy.

Speaking of Ava, one of the things with incest stories is that you need to provide a reason why the family member is looking at another family for romance/sex instead of at someone outside the family. Ava doesn't seem to have any reason to spend time with Kyle. Why isn't she spending all her time with her punk rock friends and the guys who are asking her out?

You've gotten some nice comments. There's an audience for this type of story. Learn from this and keep writing.

 

[lovecraft68]

Oh that’s a good point! I may have to reconsider continuing the whole series. Or maybe I’ll make it just a 2/3 part series to wrap it up quickly and maintain readership. Thank you!

It is not a good point, you write what you want to write and not everything is about numbers, but writing the story you want. Your audience will find you.

I started out writing a very long series (39 chapters) that not a lot of people read, but it was my story and that's what counted.

I ended up doing pretty well for myself here.

There is nothing wrong with starting with a series.

 

[lovecraft68]

Remove your email or the moderator will remove it for you. You can PM people your email address.

I'll take a look at your story later.

Without looking at it, I'll say that it's a bad idea to start your LitE writing career with a chapter series. I made that same mistake! Chapters get much less reads than whole stories (particularly in I/T) and each additional chapter typically gets fewer reads than the one before. You'll learn so much with every story you write, you don't want to lock yourself into continuing a series with a low readership.

Stop telling people what to write, you don't have that right. If you think you made a mistake its because all you care about is numbers. That's your problem.

 

[lovecraft68]

I'm going to get back you you with some feedback, probably tomorrow, but I took a peek and you need to make sure you break up your paragraphs into smaller sections, because you have some very long blocks of text, it makes it hard to read.

Lit formats funny a reasonable looking paragraph in word comes out as a much bigger block here.

If you look I think there's a thread in this forum that deals with that and how to fix it

I saw you have a nice comment from Son of Battles he's a long time taboo reader so if he likes it, you're off to a good start..

 

[MelissaBaby]

Oh that’s a good point! I may have to reconsider continuing the whole series. Or maybe I’ll make it just a 2/3 part series to wrap it up quickly and maintain readership. Thank you!

It's a good point if what you care most about is how many views you get. If your interested in writing a chaptered story, that's what you should do.

 

[Enchantment_of_Nyx]

...Without looking at it, I'll say that it's a bad idea to start your LitE writing career with a chapter series. I made that same mistake! Chapters get much less reads than whole stories (particularly in I/T) and each additional chapter typically gets fewer reads than the one before. You'll learn so much with every story you write, you don't want to lock yourself into continuing a series with a low readership.

Oh that’s a good point! I may have to reconsider continuing the whole series. Or maybe I’ll make it just a 2/3 part series to wrap it up quickly and maintain readership. Thank you!

I strongly disagree with this advice. I started with a series, and it's doing quite well. I've gotten a good group of readers I really enjoy. You'll see a lot of people complain about the brevity of comments. I get paragraphs per comment because the readers are really engaged. They're really engaged because I'm really engaged. This was the story I wanted to write. It was important to me. It couldn't be told in a single chapter. Some of the nicest comments other authors have shared on the boards here have also been for chaptered stories.

I've been learning as I go, but it's been a positive experience and a great way to get to know the readers, since I have the same readers commenting on different chapters of the same story. Some of them are hysterical, and its a good place to go when I need to feel inspired. I don't think I'd have had that same rewarding experience with a one-off story.

There are obvious advantages to starting with a one-off story, but I don't think they trump the advantages of starting with the right story. If you have a story that you're excited about, that's what you should be writing. You cared enough about writing the story to write it, so don't second-guess yourself.

Besides, you've already started your series Monday morning quarterbacking is only good for things you can change in the future. If you set this up as a series and then don't finish it, readers may not be very interested in reading your next "chapter 1."

 

[DarkPleasures]

Remove your email or the moderator will remove it for you. You can PM people your email address.

I'll take a look at your story later.

Without looking at it, I'll say that it's a bad idea to start your LitE writing career with a chapter series. I made that same mistake! Chapters get much less reads than whole stories (particularly in I/T) and each additional chapter typically gets fewer reads than the one before. You'll learn so much with every story you write, you don't want to lock yourself into continuing a series with a low readership.

Quoting their email isn't smart either.

 

[Son_of_Battles]

My fist story was a series. It was 15 chapters, and capped out at 248k words. It was the best first story that I could have ever asked for. Sure, I saw less and less readers after each chapter, but the ones that stuck with me were incredible. They are the readers that make me want to keep writing. lovecraft68 is right, write whatever story you want, and write it the way that YOU want.