Slowing it down ......

[Brutal_One]

To be honest I started writing for myself, to ‘get things out there’ so to speak. And yes of course write what I want to read naturally. But as I write pretty much exclusively in BDSM sphere and the 2 quite distinct but important parts of that, one the D/s Dom sub side. In general more sensual, erotic, blindfolds, touch, words, and of course the sex.

The other side is the S/m side - much more one sided. For me anyway. The Sadist in me. The Brutal One. Unforgiving, selfish. A piece of work.

Very impatient. Wants to ‘get to it’ so to speak.

I find though in my writing, too much of the impatient S/m streak, not enough of the D/s. Fortunately though my reality is very much on the D/s side. The S/m of course can get dark, very dark. But my best writing is arguably when the D/s side is the most important.

In writing though, from experience how do you slow it down? Character building of course and also giving equal weight and consideration to both sides of the D/s - my Dom character and my sub slave. Taking the slave on a journey, from slave to sub.

Of course the writing parallel. I can write fast and powerful and you might say malevolent stuff. But it’s clearly not suitable for here.

I’d like to write slow, patient, erotic. I have done but not as much as I’d like.

So in balancing these 2 asoects - the light and the dark if you will. I guess from what I can see, and I only sample - take a sip if you will of the stories here. Those that learn to write erotica, not brutality. But the question as the thread asks .... how do you slow it down ... assuming of course that at some point in the story, that SM itch needs scratched.

Brutal One

 

[NotWise]

I’d like to write slow, patient, erotic. I have done but not as much as I’d like.

So in balancing these 2 asoects - the light and the dark if you will. I guess from what I can see, and I only sample - take a sip if you will of the stories here. Those that learn to write erotica, not brutality. But the question as the thread asks .... how do you slow it down ... assuming of course that at some point in the story, that SM itch needs scratched.

You might try laying the story out before you write it, so you can plan for the balance you want.

 

[GroverLang]

Story link?

Have you had anything published on here? If so could you put a link, please.

 

[KeithD]

I don't purposely try to impose any "speed" on my stories as they unfold. I act mostly as the scribe, getting it down into a file and standing back to let it do its thing. If, after it's drafted, I think it needs shaping, I'll do it then.

 

[lovecraft68]

I would suggest writing 'hot' as I call it, just go with the flow and if it comes out quick and impatient as you say, that's fine.

Now you let it sit and come back cold and read through and start adding filler in between the impatience. A few lines here, a little extra dialogue here...now you're spreading out the action, and slowing the tempo and when you're done you'll have a scene that's much more 'patient' and fleshed out.

 

[Ginlover]

For me its rhythm. My stories I try to find a rhythm, music helps and I'll find a song with a strong beat then listen to it on a loop.

A lot of stories in the BDSM category are writen with a focus on the bottom, their thoughts, reactions and feelings. Ive struggled to find many engaging stories exploring the top. Its marginally better on fet but still very short snapshots.

A good top telling story is vanilla by LucusGray on here, two parts and not complete. Still worth a read even not complete as will be clear if you look at it.

I'd suggest you work with what you are comfortable with.
Tell the reader the care and preparation the sadist needs to undertake to work with their sub or slave. What motivates the top, why are they doing that, how the trust and respect develops. Show how a dynamic is two way and not just a top giving and the bottom receiving, explore what the top needs or wants to be with/scene or work with a bottom.

By the time you've covered off all that you'll have created a lead in and build up.

 

[Brutal_One]

You might try laying the story out before you write it, so you can plan for the balance you want.

I think that’s a pretty good call. As I will be writing a series that centres on the one main idea that would allow getting ‘on point’ quicker perhaps the main thread is that ‘the itch’ itself is an illusion but there are other prizes. I think in particular with such a story arc looking after your ‘main characters’ is pretty vital and our anti hero (such as he is probably going to be viewed as maybe) it’s a bit of an Achilles heel. I think the better use of the ‘getting on point’ will be in what will be the side characters. Those that are there to satisfy the wants and fantasies of the main characters. It’s going to be along the cliche of the Spider-Man “with great power comes great responsibility” but our anti hero is going to have to come close to ‘fucking it up’ for it to have the impact it should. The stakes of course being the relationship with the other characters.

 

[KeithD]

I don't do any outlining of a short story before writing. Often I do with a long novella or a novel, but only then if I'm having a hard time seeing enough material for a planned long novella or novel. Any pinning down beforehand would take the enjoyment and mystery out of the writing for me. I don't do this to engage in a chore; I do it as an adventure. I don't let anything get in the way of the first draft. I can amend later, although I rarely do. I do augment later, though.

 

[Brutal_One]

I would suggest writing 'hot' as I call it, just go with the flow and if it comes out quick and impatient as you say, that's fine.

Now you let it sit and come back cold and read through and start adding filler in between the impatience. A few lines here, a little extra dialogue here...now you're spreading out the action, and slowing the tempo and when you're done you'll have a scene that's much more 'patient' and fleshed out.

Yes perfect and exactly the lines I have been thinking. The good thing is the ‘rush to itch’ has already been written but in redrafting I can just ease the whole thing over a much longer series. So yes exactly the above but the difference it extending it over a much wider series of related stories.

 

[Kumquatqueen]

It's not compulsory to do d/s, let alone to write about it. Many people do SM without d/s dynamics.

What happens if you write just the SM? Write the bits you really have an urge to write? Then consider each sentence and why the person did that. It may not be down to D/s, but there may be background and reasons why each party did what they did.

You may well end up with a different, unusual and more interesting story.

Or not - I admit it's easier to introduce conflict and thus plot with ds, rather than a simple 'they just like these sensations'.

 

[Brutal_One]

For me its rhythm. My stories I try to find a rhythm, music helps and I'll find a song with a strong beat then listen to it on a loop.

A lot of stories in the BDSM category are writen with a focus on the bottom, their thoughts, reactions and feelings. Ive struggled to find many engaging stories exploring the top. Its marginally better on fet but still very short snapshots.

A good top telling story is vanilla by LucusGray on here, two parts and not complete. Still worth a read even not complete as will be clear if you look at it.

I'd suggest you work with what you are comfortable with.
Tell the reader the care and preparation the sadist needs to undertake to work with their sub or slave. What motivates the top, why are they doing that, how the trust and respect develops. Show how a dynamic is two way and not just a top giving and the bottom receiving, explore what the top needs or wants to be with/scene or work with a bottom.

By the time you've covered off all that you'll have created a lead in and build up.

This is an excellent response so thanks. Yes very much on the money with the motivation. For me personally the needs of the bottom should come first. Her development and growth paramount too. The D/s permission thing is then very much authentic in the wish of the bottom to both understand and please the top. In general for my money the Top’s needs can be fundamentally simple but also powerful nevertheless whereas bottom’s needs should be more complex and encompassing and should be wider than those of her top. Seeing him willing to develop her and protect her forms the strong basis for the relationship.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Yes perfect and exactly the lines I have been thinking. The good thing is the ‘rush to itch’ has already been written but in redrafting I can just ease the whole thing over a much longer series. So yes exactly the above but the difference it extending it over a much wider series of related stories.

I write in a naturally languid style because intimacy in my world is something to be savoured, not rushed; and I often find myself circling around a sex scene waiting for a way in, waiting for the characters to be "ready" if you like, waiting for their motivations to be "right." My characters tend to reveal themselves to me whilst writing, and my job as writer is "keeping up" with what's going on. But this circling the sex like a dance often slows the story down, giving it time, and the reader time, to immerse themselves.

I don't plot or plan my stories in any way and I focus on "mood" rather than conflict or tension - which many writers here say you must have in a story but I disagree (someone once said of one of my stories, nothing much happens, but my god it happens beautifully) - so many of my scenes are like theatrical set pieces, like paintings slowly coming to life. I do that by zeroing in on tiny detail, describing for example a little spray of freckles between breasts, but don't describe the breasts, or the blue pulse of a vein on a wrist, or a small scar from an injury when the character was small. Zooming in to the point of obsession sometimes, but that's the point, slowing it all right down, savouring every sip, every second. There's no hurry.

Reading your first post again, I reckon you've written your own clue - you say you're selfish, self-centred, it's all about you, and the rush. In my world, and I call it the Floating World taking the Japanese idea, the stories are less about the central male protagonist (I re-use my main character repeatedly because I'm lazy and he's so easy to write) but more about the women and, in one or two outings, the men, he seduces or is seduced by. That is, my focus when writing is always on the other players in the story - it's as if my central character's desires don't matter because they're a given - of course he's going to get what he wants because he's, well, central. But he lets or enables the others to take centre stage.

Interestingly, my two beta readers a few years ago, and other reviewers have echoed it, said to me, "You do realise your Adam character is a natural top, because he's so quietly confident in himself, but so kind to his partners, he lets them be who they are, who they want to be." I didn't know what they were on about, to be honest, because the whole formalised power dynamic was a mystery to me, but there you are. They urged me to go write a BDSM story arc, which I did, but it ended up being bdsm lite, because my characters were all so strong in themselves they didn't need to prove themselves to anyone, but set up a flowing, three way dynamic. Drowning in their own lust. Slowly.

 

[SimonDoom]

My suggestion would be not to focus on speed so much as shifting one's attention away from the "sex" scene one wants to get to, toward the process. Focus on the character's interior: what their need is, what dilemma they are presented with in the story, and how they plausibly get from point A to point B, with a focus on how they get from one to the other mentally and emotionally, not physically. If you focus resolutely on these things rather than rushing to get to the point where the character is tied to a post and being whipped, you won't need to focus on pace so much.

 

[yukonnights]

My suggestion would be not to focus on speed so much as shifting one's attention away from the "sex" scene one wants to get to, toward the process. Focus on the character's interior: what their need is, what dilemma they are presented with in the story, and how they plausibly get from point A to point B, with a focus on how they get from one to the other mentally and emotionally, not physically. If you focus resolutely on these things rather than rushing to get to the point where the character is tied to a post and being whipped, you won't need to focus on pace so much.

This was my first thought as I read the OP. So many stories here on Lit are predominately focused on the physical descriptions while being almost void of any mention of the emotions. It does take a certain knack to be able to dive into the emotions of diverse characters, and no doubt there will be mistakes made. But IMO the emotions are more important than the physical descriptions because they are the deeper truth about the characters — the emotions/thoughts are the things we, as readers, can grab onto. This is the power of written erotica over visual porn. But a story can have that 'porn emptiness' too, if it's predominately about the physical.

Brutal_One said; I’d like to write slow, patient, erotic. Take a look back at the D/s scenes you think are more sensual and erotic. It may be they read that way because you have delved a bit deeper into the emotions/thoughts. I think you might be pleasantly surprised if you, as a Dom and Sadist, could pour those emotions, thoughts and inner needs out for the reader to see and grapple with.

 

[roxymoves]

Brutal One, you might try asking your readers if they have stories where they feel the eroticism is built up. I had a couple readers complain that I rushed to the sex too quickly, and had too much sex, so I asked them to send me stories that they thought hit the mark. I got some good examples and the readers seemed happy to help. Of course, you're only getting the opinions of a couple people, but it was helpful to me. Also, your "malevant" work might be ok in non-consent--something to consider.

 

[Brutal_One]

Brutal One, you might try asking your readers if they have stories where they feel the eroticism is built up. I had a couple readers complain that I rushed to the sex too quickly, and had too much sex, so I asked them to send me stories that they thought hit the mark. I got some good examples and the readers seemed happy to help. Of course, you're only getting the opinions of a couple people, but it was helpful to me. Also, your "malevant" work might be ok in non-consent--something to consider.

Thanks Roxy. I am hoping to get the first part of a series published here. The initial submission was rejected but it’s been revised and see no reason at this stage why it shouldn’t be okay to publish. I pretty much agree that the slow build up is better erotica and as I want to try and focus on the D/s side it’s arguably better and more realistic writing. I can’t of course deny the SM side but the SM once a decent D/s relationship is established.

It’s not that I don’t want to ‘rush’ as such but for one it’s no point falling afoul so to speak of submissions destined for here. I paint my main character as very patient so like me he can be patient lol. Thanks for the advice.

 

[gunhilltrain]

Thanks Roxy. I am hoping to get the first part of a series published here. The initial submission was rejected but it’s been revised and see no reason at this stage why it shouldn’t be okay to publish. I pretty much agree that the slow build up is better erotica and as I want to try and focus on the D/s side it’s arguably better and more realistic writing. I can’t of course deny the SM side but the SM once a decent D/s relationship is established.

It’s not that I don’t want to ‘rush’ as such but for one it’s no point falling afoul so to speak of submissions destined for here. I paint my main character as very patient so like me he can be patient lol. Thanks for the advice.

I think that in erotic writing there is a tension between fantasy and plausibility. My preference in my own work is towards the latter, about what "ordinary" people might actually think up and and do even if the time frame is condensed a bit. But that's just me.

From what I know about BDSM activities (a modest amount), there is a spectrum from light to dark (intense) as you described it. I usually go for the first one. The characters really do beat each other's behinds, but it's usually something like domestic discipline. Often they are playacting it for an hour or so, and when the scene is over they revert to regular life. Well, actually the scene usually leads to a straightforward romantic/sexual encounter.

I don't think I've written a scene where someone is restrained (although I might), and nobody refers to masters and slaves. But again, that's me. You may have a different approach.

I hope this helps.

 

[Brutal_One]

I think that in erotic writing there is a tension between fantasy and plausibility. My preference in my own work is towards the latter, about what "ordinary" people might actually think up and and do even if the time frame is condensed a bit. But that's just me.

I don't think I've written a scene where someone is restrained (although I might), and nobody refers to masters and slaves. But again, that's me. You may have a different approach.

I hope this helps.

Thanks - I am very much into the D/s dynamic and have been a Dom to a collared slave. Several in fact but at different times. Not for me the Master of many slaves. But there is an aspect of the true sub, the serving that is not just about the sexual. Permission in BDSM is of course critically important if both bottom and top understand it properly and more correctly demonstrate it with each other.

So yes writing about that from the experience of it helps, in particular in writing both sides. I am not saying it’s easy for a man to understand a woman and her thoughts and so to write her part convincingly but where a good D/s relationship relies more in not having to ask but know what a top or bottom’s desires are without needing to ask.

For me the convincing part would be having the sub submit to the SM part because she understands and wants to please (serve). He has to earn that respect though so for me it will be developing it so when the time comes it will feel authentic and ‘real’ when writing about the SM act.

 

[roxymoves]

Thanks - I am very much into the D/s dynamic and have been a Dom to a collared slave. Several in fact but at different times. Not for me the Master of many slaves. But there is an aspect of the true sub, the serving that is not just about the sexual. Permission in BDSM is of course critically important if both bottom and top understand it properly and more correctly demonstrate it with each other.

So yes writing about that from the experience of it helps, in particular in writing both sides. I am not saying it’s easy for a man to understand a woman and her thoughts and so to write her part convincingly but where a good D/s relationship relies more in not having to ask but know what a top or bottom’s desires are without needing to ask.

For me the convincing part would be having the sub submit to the SM part because she understands and wants to please (serve). He has to earn that respect though so for me it will be developing it so when the time comes it will feel authentic and ‘real’ when writing about the SM act.

Brutal One, one more thought, and this may be obvious. You write that "I am not saying it's easy for a man to understand a woman and her thoughts." I don't know if this is possible for you given your genre, but is there a woman you can ask about her experience, thoughts, and feelings, or even have a female editor, or can you do some research on it? I've had some luck with these approaches, though not in your genre. Good luck.

 

[Ginlover]

For me the convincing part would be having the sub submit to the SM part because she understands and wants to please (serve). He has to earn that respect though so for me it will be developing it so when the time comes it will feel authentic and ‘real’ when writing about the SM act.

That will be a very fine line to walk with words.
Convincing someone to receive pain because it's what their partner wants to deliver - that sounds reluctance.

A connected submissive is likely to agree as they want to please even if it's not something they like or even want to try. In a dynamic it's easy for a sub to lose their 'no' or ability to refuse and it's the mark of an excellent Dom to be their safety net.

What I think you might mean is the sub enthusiastically agrees as they are also a masochist. The sadist/top/Dom then praises about how proud they are with their sub for taking all they wanted to give. But that's only after enthusiastic consent, not convincing. To me a Dom or sadist convincing a sub/slave/pyl is a big red flag. A great dynamic is a bottom pyl having a depth of trust in the Top PYL to keep things within what they can cope with. Screwing up is okay but convincing doesnt feel okay

 

[Ginlover]

Damn phone wanted to post twice, sorry

 

[Brutal_One]

That will be a very fine line to walk with words.
Convincing someone to receive pain because it's what their partner wants to deliver - that sounds reluctance.

A connected submissive is likely to agree as they want to please even if it's not something they like or even want to try. In a dynamic it's easy for a sub to lose their 'no' or ability to refuse and it's the mark of an excellent Dom to be their safety net.

What I think you might mean is the sub enthusiastically agrees as they are also a masochist. The sadist/top/Dom then praises about how proud they are with their sub for taking all they wanted to give. But that's only after enthusiastic consent, not convincing. To me a Dom or sadist convincing a sub/slave/pyl is a big red flag. A great dynamic is a bottom pyl having a depth of trust in the Top PYL to keep things within what they can cope with. Screwing up is okay but convincing doesnt feel okay

Convincing Was a poor choice of words. Just goes to show. But I think trying to show that dynamic would be tricky to do it justice but still worth trying. At least I don’t have to worry about the strict codes of a Gorean BDSM rote although John Norman handled it very well in his novels although paying the price given the content for not being recognised in the same vein as many of his peers writing science fantasy at a similar time but without the explicit sexual nature in Gor fantasy.

 

[Brutal_One]

Well I finally have chapter 5 submitted and with it the first sex scene. As far as the story build up to date goes in terms of pacing it was the right time. For each chapter I have had a small no of likes so it’s good to know that there is at least one other person that likes what I am writing.

I assume that the story feedback thread is the place to go to try and ask for comments on the various elements of the story to date that I would be interested to have critique on.

Brutal One

 

[ElectricBlue]

I assume that the story feedback thread is the place to go to try and ask for comments on the various elements of the story to date that I would be interested to have critique on.

Yes, start a new thread, put up a link to your story, and flag that your content is whatever it is - as a courtesy to potential reviewers who might not read that category.

 

[Brutal_One]

Yes, start a new thread, put up a link to your story, and flag that your content is whatever it is - as a courtesy to potential reviewers who might not read that category.

Thanks EB, done.

Brutal One