Curious

[Forgottenwife]

I'm curious, Ive not considered myself to be submissive however I find great pleasure in pleasing my partner always andputting their needs first.
I can follow instructions but I'm strong and a feminist so my first question is what makes a sub submissive?
My second question is are there any available experienced Masters who are looking for an inexperienced strong cheeky *woman* who he could help her find her way? Figure out if it's something that's inside her or if it's not even close.

 

[supercollider00]

You aren't less of a feminist if you identify as a submissive in the bedroom. That said the BDSM library which is stickied might be quite useful for a lot of your initial questions. https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=266656

Also, if you do then decide to experiment, always remember to have a safe word and be careful. Consent is paramount at all times.

 

[Ginlover]

For me what makes a sub submissive is the dynamic with his or her Dominant. This could be in a single play scene or as part of along term relationship. No two dynamics are the same and how I am submissive with one partner can be different to how I am submissive with another. I also know several dominants who are people pleasers, they love the thrill of giving a submissive what they crave.

So how you are submissive is always going to be right.

I don't and wont use honorifics nor have I any interest in kneeling yet to my previous partners I was submissive and I passed authority for parts of our relationship to them. As an aside if you put me in a room full of senior male managers I can pretty much guarantee when I walk out they will all be agreeing to excatly what I was there to suggest. That still doesnt make me any less submissive to my partner.

Be very careful of any dominant who offers to 'train' you as this just means tell you what they like in a dynamic. Sadly BDSM has a lot if abusive predators who claim.to be dominant to excuse their abuse. Instead of asking for a dominant to take you on I would explore, read and talk. Fetlife has some good advice in the writings. Most of all talk to other submisdives who have rl experiance- not just online virtual fantasy. Any genuine person in the community will answer any questions you have.

 

[tallpilot1903]

It takes a very strong and intelligent woman to be submissive. Submission is a gift..unfortunately you will discover different doms.....some are more into their sadistic side...others more enjoy the control and the growth of their subs are they explore their desires. Tall

 

[edontario559]

Every relationship has Dominant and submissive aspects to it. If you played football or wrestled, you noticed that some of your team-mates were more dominant than others, and it didn't always even correlate to their role on the team.

We had a Center who was just terrifying, in general. We were glad he was on OUR team, frankly. Not the QB, but the Center. If he said it, you did it... or else.

You're at a BDSM thread. Bondage Domination Sado Masochism. This is a very specific part of sexual human relationships. It's not a part of every relationship, beyond perhaps "who's on top?"

So if you are here, I'm guessing that you are looking for more than just "I'm a people pleaser in the bedroom."

But everyone goes at their own pace, and everyone reaches their own destination.

Will you have to revoke your "feminism" if you are a sub? I'd say Yes, conditionally. What happens in the bedroom is different than what happens in the kitchen which is different than what happens in the driveway which is different than... you get the idea.

You, as a human being, get to decide what role you take, in which location. Nobody can force you to do anything... but there are tradeoffs. There are always tradeoffs, in almost all things.

You want me to tie you up and drip hot wax on your body while you take my dick in your throat, in the bedroom, yet not think about this at other times? That's a tall order. I'll respect you and I'll respect your opinion to the degree that it deserves respect, but there are boundaries.

Finding them isn't easy, but it can be fun... and heart breaking... and exhilarating, etc.

Not unlike discovering that your new beau is into (insert something you're into, but didn't know that they were into)... only with more leather.

Have fun

 

[Conager]

You aren't less of a feminist if you identify as a submissive in the bedroom. That said the BDSM library which is stickied might be quite useful for a lot of your initial questions. https://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=266656

Also, if you do then decide to experiment, always remember to have a safe word and be careful. Consent is paramount at all times.

This^.

In my limited, anecdotal experience, sexual submissives do not tend to be emotional doormats. They tend to be strong and confident in their day-to-day life.

Emotional doormats tend to be sexually needy and bossy.