writing in first person? and other writing tips

[pantonals]

Hey there! I'm a new writer and I'm looking to submit my first story hopefully soon. It will be in the lesbian category, and I am writing it in first person, despite reading that first person can be hard for new writers. I do have experience with writing in regards to roleplaying and non sexual stories, but I do want to see if anyone has any tips when it comes to writing in first person? Any common mistakes you see in stories? If you also write lesbian stories, that's a plus because even though I'm writing about my own personal experience with a woman, I want to make sure the emotions and feelings come across clearly! I really appreciate any kind of help.

 

[Blind_Justice]

When writing in first person, make sure you limit descriptions to what the character can actually perceive. An oft-made newbie mistake is writing other's feelings, thoughts or - in the most egregious moments - even events which their narrator can't be privy to.

As such, you have to weigh the ups and downs of writing in first-person - if done right, you can go very intimate with your narrator, putting a lot of detail into their internal monologue, describe their emotions, sensations and the like.

But you pay for this intimacy with a drastically reduced "field of view". First person works best in small groups and small locations where one narrator can keep track of everything that's happening around them. The moment you're planning to hop from set piece to set piece, you should probably rethink your choice of POV because semi-omniscient third person can do almost the same things.

One general tip: Regardless of chosen viewpoint, have your story looked at by a second pair of eyes. They usually can tell you if you broke your own POV.

The most important advice is this: Whatever the resident codgers (including me) say - write first, edit later and try to have fun. You can only improve.

 

[jaF0]

I'll never consider myself a 'writer', but I've scratched out a few things. Never found so-called 'first person' much different than any other. Just put yourself in the character's shoes and write what they see and feel. Try not to get complicated with imagery.

 

[Bramblethorn]

First person is a good option for erotica. Most of my stories here use it. But I'd second everything BJ says about being consistent with that POV if you're going to do it.

For example, rather than stating other characters' emotions, I like to focus on the ways in which the protagonist perceives those emotions - not "Jane was angry" but "Jane slammed her hand on the table", etc. etc.

 

[pantonals]

When writing in first person, make sure you limit descriptions to what the character can actually perceive. An oft-made newbie mistake is writing other's feelings, thoughts or - in the most egregious moments - even events which their narrator can't be privy to.

As such, you have to weigh the ups and downs of writing in first-person - if done right, you can go very intimate with your narrator, putting a lot of detail into their internal monologue, describe their emotions, sensations and the like.

But you pay for this intimacy with a drastically reduced "field of view". First person works best in small groups and small locations where one narrator can keep track of everything that's happening around them. The moment you're planning to hop from set piece to set piece, you should probably rethink your choice of POV because semi-omniscient third person can do almost the same things.

One general tip: Regardless of chosen viewpoint, have your story looked at by a second pair of eyes. They usually can tell you if you broke your own POV.

The most important advice is this: Whatever the resident codgers (including me) say - write first, edit later and try to have fun. You can only improve.

I really appreciate it! I'm thinking that my first story will be a short female masturbation one, so at least writing in first person, I can really control the narration since there's not a second person there. But I'll definitely look into having someone else take a look at it after I'm done!

 

[KeithD]

First person is a natural for erotica--and, if you write in it, make full use of being able to give that person's emotions and perceptions, that latter even if the reader is able to know that the perceptions are "off." And, as already noted, remember that, in first person, your perceiver can't know what anyone else is thinking and you can't describe any action outside of the perceiver's own observation. If you do, you've slipped into the third person.

 

[jaF0]

... at least writing in first person, I can really control the narration since there's not a second person there.

I did one where she's relating a tale as if to a diary rather than another person and all of the 'people' in the tale are basically furniture. No conversation. I can't recall right now if I even gave any of them names ... maybe.

 

[NotWise]

As such, you have to weigh the ups and downs of writing in first-person - if done right, you can go very intimate with your narrator, putting a lot of detail into their internal monologue, describe their emotions, sensations and the like.

But you pay for this intimacy with a drastically reduced "field of view". First person works best in small groups and small locations where one narrator can keep track of everything that's happening around them. The moment you're planning to hop from set piece to set piece, you should probably rethink your choice of POV because semi-omniscient third person can do almost the same things.

This is all very true, but the limitations of first person are also an open invitation to using very intimate dialogue that gets to the other characters' reactions and emotions. This is a different effect from using omniscient or semi-omniscient third person.

 

[Blind_Justice]

This is all very true, but the limitations of first person are also an open invitation to using very intimate dialogue that gets to the other characters' reactions and emotions. This is a different effect from using omniscient or semi-omniscient third person.

I know and said so.

if done right, you can go very intimate with your narrator, putting a lot of detail into their internal monologue, describe their emotions, sensations and the like.

 

[NotWise]

I know and said so.

I thought you were talking about getting intimate with your narrator. I was talking about getting intimate with characters other than the narrator. Sorry if I was mistaken.

 

[SimonDoom]

I strongly endorse everything Blind Justice wrote. That's all excellent advice. I'd add a couple of things:

1. If you choose 1st person POV, then in addition to limiting your "field of view" you are limiting your education and vocabulary to whatever it is probable the character/narrator has. The narration should be consistent with the background of the character. So first person POV is a little bit less flexible in this way from third person POV, because in third person the narrator does not have to speak in the voice of the main character.

2. Think about WHY you want to choose one POV over the other. Some people feel that first person POV is more initimate. I'm not so convinced of that. I think third person limited can, if done right, achieve nearly everything that first person can. One very good reason to choose first person, however, is if an important part of the story is the character/narrator being surprised by events in the story. Surprise makes more sense when the narration is completely limited to the narrator/character's point of view.

3. Whatever you do, be consistent. Don't switch points of view, and if you choose first person POV be scrupulous about limiting the narration to what the character/narrator would see, experience, and think.


I recommend experimenting with both POVs in different stories so you get a feel for both and their strengths and weaknesses.

 

[RejectReality]

Watch your sentence and paragraph starts. It's easy to get into a pattern of too many "I did", "I thought", "I said" etc.

That applies to any perspective, but it seems especially jarring and repetitious in first person — at least to me.

 

[Blind_Justice]

I thought you were talking about getting intimate with your narrator. I was talking about getting intimate with characters other than the narrator. Sorry if I was mistaken.

My bad. Keep going.

 

[KeithD]

Why would that be any different to watch out for in third person? If a writer wasn't adept in handling first person, what would make them any more adept in handling the narrator in third person? There's just as much invitation for the third-person narrator to be the voice of the author.

 

[Blind_Justice]

The most common POV mistakes with first person have already been covered here, but one thing I notice is when the character seems completely based on the author themself. Not really an issue in a standalone story, but if you are writing different stories with different characters, using first person, but basing it all on yourself ... then every one of your viewpoint characters is the same person with a different name.

I think it's natural when writing in first person POV to base it on yourself, but I like to go through it again when I'm done and ask "is it the character talking, or is it me talking?" and make edits as necessary when it's something I would say/do/feel but maybe not what the character would.

That can happen with third-person narration as well. It's a question of how good you can separate your own self from your fictionalized characters. I have it somewhat easy because I mostly write Sci-Fi/Fantasy which allows for a broader range of discernible traits per character. Even so, some of my heroes do share traits with me. I have written a blind protagonist twice, many of my characters have a somewhat weird sense of humor, but I know for a fact that I am not a genocidal female elf mage trying to eradicate the entire dark elven race. For example.

That separation between self and written characters usually comes with experience - unless the author is writing strictly autobiographical or has huge overcompensation issues.

 

[Damoiselle]

Check and double check your first draft for cliched terms. Try to avoid anything that people have read too much. "I was having the time of my life," reads as trite and nondescript. Be specific about what your character is feeling.

Because I've roleplayed online in the past, my biggest weakness is switching tense, which isn't specific to first person and might not be a problem for you. Just as a precaution, maybe say something out loud to yourself when you sit down to write. "I did, I said, I walked."

Trying to get my brain to focus on one style helps sometimes.

 

[AlinaX]

A lot of criticism of new authors using first person is more about first person present tense, which can be very difficult to pull off. I particularly enjoy using it, but how well it reads to others when I do I don't know.

First person does have an advantage in scenes where the two lovers use the same pronouns, e.g., "She sucked her cock while her fingers teased her clit." (Exercise for the reader.)

 

[tomlitilia]

Watch your sentence and paragraph starts. It's easy to get into a pattern of too many "I did", "I thought", "I said" etc.

That applies to any perspective, but it seems especially jarring and repetitious in first person — at least to me.

Good advice. 1st person doesn't mean the story has to be entirely focused on what the narrator does and feel. Also remember to convey other characters and their actions, feelings, and motivations, even though they have to be told as the narrator perceives them.

Side note: I think 1st person is a good choice for a lesbian story for a pragmatic reason; you will avoid pronoun confusions that easily happen in 3rd person ("she put her hand on her boob"--whose boob is it?), or at least require more intricate sentences to avoid.

I haven't done first person in my lesbian stories, but I think maybe should have. The drawback is that it's hard to describe the narrator, especially physical attributes. Few people would talk about the color of their hair, boob size etc. I guess that's why, in my mind, too many stories starts with "first a little about myself: I'm a [insert character description, typically including blonde and DD]" but that's, also in my mind, just shitty writing. Not saying physical attributes are essential to most stories, but sometimes you want to paint a picture of the scene. In 1st person, that requires a bit of extra fiddling to get the tone right. For instance, you can have the narrator imagine what she currently looks like ("What a sight I must have been, my triple-H tits flopping in the wind") or see herself in a mirror ("My reflection stunned me--how could my pilates ball-sized tits defy gravity?").

 

[NotWise]

Good advice. 1st person doesn't mean the story has to be entirely focused on what the narrator does and feel. Also remember to convey other characters and their actions, feelings, and motivations, even though they have to be told as the narrator perceives them.

I read a first-person story recently in which the male narrator's story was more about himself than about other characters. It felt very narcissistic to me. My first-person narrators usually tell a story about someone else, while they are mostly a player in the story. I guess that's how I like to read them, too.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I have nothing to add here, just that all the advice given is very good.

 

[NotWise]

The only thing harder to pull off than first person present tense has to be second person present tense. When I encounter it, it usually feels like an exercise from creative writing class.

I've only used first person present tense once. That was recently, and it only happened in dialogue. I posted a feedback request in the Story Feedback forum (here: Writing Lab) and asked (among other things) how it worked.

I don't have a lot of need for first person present tense. I found it hard to write, but it had a use in that story, and it seemed to work.

So far I don't think I'll write anything is second person, regardless of tense. Maybe some day I'll find a use for it.

 

[Zeb_Carter]

yukonnights has been experimenting with first POV, but rapidly changing from one person to the other. I always expected it would be a mess, but I can't deny it's far better than I'd expected. Check his latest work, if you're interested (e.g. Unexpected Love.)

It isn't something I would do myself, but for those into trying something different...

I did that with my first work I posted here. Walker Brigade. I switched POVs a lot among five or six characters.

 

[ElectricBlue]

However, in the first person, it would help the writer to identify more with the character she has adopted, and descriptions could flow much more easily. This is more true when you write erotic stories.

Often, yes, that's definitely the case, but you can get in just as close using what I term "a very close narrator" - third person. There might be a writerly description for the style, but if there is I don't know it. I use the technique a lot and it's just as intimate as first person, I reckon.

 

[SamScribble]

Often, yes, that's definitely the case, but you can get in just as close using what I term "a very close narrator" - third person. There might be a writerly description for the style, but if there is I don't know it. I use the technique a lot and it's just as intimate as first person, I reckon.

Continuing that thought, I tend to think of the third person narrator as a character anyway. The interesting ones are seldom 'neutral'. Each has his or her own slant on what they are describing. And some of the most interesting are very unreliable.

 

[ElectricBlue]

Continuing that thought, I tend to think of the third person narrator as a character anyway. The interesting ones are seldom 'neutral'. Each has his or her own slant on what they are describing. And some of the most interesting are very unreliable.

Absolutely.

Then there's the wrinkle of the spectacularly unreliable first person narrator, like the Maerlyn character in my Arthurian myth novel. Even he knew he couldn't be relied upon, and he told half the story!