Puns

[done_got_old]

I got arrested at the grocery store for stealing desserts.

Now I’m in custardy...

 

[mnbreastluver]

Do you want me to tell you a chimney joke?
I have stacks of them!
First one's on the house.

 

[done_got_old]

A mummy's favorite type of sandwich is a wrap.

 

[vidiman]

A truck delivering cheese from France has exploded; there was nothing left but de Brie.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/90313690_10219522255838870_1928237275620048896_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=lXzTNGi3mpYAX8p3LgC&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=a1b0137f5bff30d5086e2e8864e9591b&oe=5E9F8E2C

 

[done_got_old]

RIP Mr. Peanut, you'll have an open casket - it will be ajar.

 

[done_got_old]

My son wanted me to teach him how to park, but I was able to back out of it.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/91134866_2779617288825952_4639290035231784960_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=niJjPrWQ3asAX9jK5Uv&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=ef6e51d1bd9b389b42ba61e307117b29&oe=5EA58F6F

 

[Eisranac]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/91134866_2779617288825952_4639290035231784960_n.jpg?_nc_cat=109&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=niJjPrWQ3asAX9jK5Uv&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=ef6e51d1bd9b389b42ba61e307117b29&oe=5EA58F6F

That is true.

It Depends on whether people are getting Pampered. Who Luvs to see that?

 

[done_got_old]

That is true.

It Depends on whether people are getting Pampered. Who Luvs to see that?

Good one!


He built his entire itch-cream business from scratch.

 

[done_got_old]

A research group on sea mammals captured a rather odd porpoise on one of its trips. Its peculiarity was that it had feet. After they had photographed and measured the poor thing, they prepared to set it free.

"Wait a minute," said one of the researchers, "Wouldn't it be a kindness if our ship's doctor here were to amputate the feet so that it would be like other porpoises?"

"Not on your life," exclaimed the doctor, "that would be defeeting the porpoise."

 

[mnbreastluver]

When our phones auto correct to "duck" it's still fowl language.

 

[Ask For More]

To get guaranteed COVID19 testing, you need an underlying wealth condition.

 

[mnbreastluver]

If you wore a mask while making masks, you’d be a masked mass mask maker.

 

[done_got_old]

The yeast you could do is laugh at my bread puns.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Why was the little ink drop crying? His mother was in the pen doing a long sentence.

 

[done_got_old]

Some guy robbed a toy store.

He stole a board game.

He got Life!​

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/s960x960/91007069_1328618364003791_2157405323101470720_o.jpg?_nc_cat=110&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=pss9xeUNPf8AX_GKdBz&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&_nc_tp=7&oh=dd86b219bc76553de96499ca37af1e58&oe=5EA777DE

 

[done_got_old]

The store sold me cut-rate food for my horse at an exorbitant price, then had the nerve to send me a 'customer service' survey. I didn't hesitate to give them the feed back.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/87392222_3186873294659525_2160258740459143168_n.jpg?_nc_cat=1&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=G5b7nIIyTYAAX9nmhie&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=59a49ccec62afbf2db4451de2cf74a19&oe=5EA92058

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/91398043_2789352257852455_1506930550437314560_n.jpg?_nc_cat=104&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=jPy4zkM8OQEAX9rbpOc&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=f7dd13cd8a1a6479d275c35d2ac04fb8&oe=5EAB6409

 

[done_got_old]

Despite his immense success as a coffee seller he remained a grounded person.

 

[done_got_old]

I once knew a poet who would start writing his poetry immediately when he got up.

He went from bed to verse.

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/50605849_2312212568830182_2927505217110933504_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_sid=110474&_nc_ohc=IexADcf-zjMAX8QJIKF&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=6fa37640ea8c20244346ad31034ba3aa&oe=5EB0D424

 

[done_got_old]

https://scontent-ort2-1.xx.fbcdn.net/v/t1.0-9/92023062_2798039430317071_6868119977270968320_n.jpg?_nc_cat=111&_nc_sid=8024bb&_nc_ohc=IZMgjiKrjl8AX9xNwdc&_nc_ht=scontent-ort2-1.xx&oh=d35333a975afd897b28d451ec81b220b&oe=5EAE72DE