Sexless Marriages

[Polranny]

Well, she went to stay with her parents. Guess this is actually happening.

If its not terminal it gives you both breathing space.

 

[The_gladiator]

Is that a good thing or a bad one?

Change isn’t easy for me, so it’s difficult, but we’ve both been unhappy. As with all things there are good and bad things, so I guess it is what it is?

 

[DDBustyBrit]

Change isn’t easy for me, so it’s difficult, but we’ve both been unhappy. As with all things there are good and bad things, so I guess it is what it is?

Hey Glad!

I’m sorry I had no idea you were dealing this, so big hug to you. We would love you to be comfortable here sharing anytime you need support. We are a very friendly and supportive thread family.

DD

 

[The_gladiator]

Hey Glad!

I’m sorry I had no idea you were dealing this, so big hug to you. We would love you to be comfortable here sharing anytime you need support. We are a very friendly and supportive thread family.

DD

Thank you,
I have been here on and off in this thread for a long time since it started I think, so thought I’d give an update. I will probably not talk about it in depth in public out of respect for her as she is a member here as well. But thank you. The more I can remind myself I am not alone, the better.

Returning her hug. The nights are the worst I think, especially that first night.

 

[ccs29745]

Hey Glad!

I’m sorry I had no idea you were dealing this, so big hug to you. We would love you to be comfortable here sharing anytime you need support. We are a very friendly and supportive thread family.

DD

Friendly???? You kidding me!?! I beat my dick so badly, it filled a restraining order against me. Lol

But gladiator, we'r are a good group in here. Vent any time, ask what ever.

 

[Lost_Yonder]

Change isn’t easy for me, so it’s difficult, but we’ve both been unhappy. As with all things there are good and bad things, so I guess it is what it is?

Dramatic changes are never easy - sticking with your routine, stepping out and doing something special for yourself, trying to connect with some friends for a drink or just dinner or whatever might help.

Hope the change is good for you in the long run...

 

[The_gladiator]

Dramatic changes are never easy - sticking with your routine, stepping out and doing something special for yourself, trying to connect with some friends for a drink or just dinner or whatever might help.

Hope the change is good for you in the long run...

Thank you, trying to keep a routine, is definitely important for me, trying to keep doing the things I enjoy. Trying to not let depression get a foothold.

 

[AnnieLit]

Thank you, trying to keep a routine, is definitely important for me, trying to keep doing the things I enjoy. Trying to not let depression get a foothold.

Is there something that you always wanted to learn, but never had time for it? Painting, woodworking, photography, cooking, car repair, it can be anything at all. You might want to look into what classes are available in your area -- this will get you out of the house on the regular basis and keep your head occupied with something you enjoy.

Another option is looking into volunteering. Little league, animal shelter, etc. Again, anything that will have a fixed schedule and deals with something you like.

About that depression... Maybe a trip to see a doctor? Better a pill now, than much bigger problems later.

 

[ccs29745]

Is there something that you always wanted to learn, but never had time for it? Painting, woodworking, photography, cooking, car repair, it can be anything at all. You might want to look into what classes are available in your area -- this will get you out of the house on the regular basis and keep your head occupied with something you enjoy.

Another option is looking into volunteering. Little league, animal shelter, etc. Again, anything that will have a fixed schedule and deals with something you like.

About that depression... Maybe a trip to see a doctor? Better a pill now, than much bigger problems later.

I call it playing in ther yard, others call it yardwork, but it helps me when I'm pissed off or wanting out some

 

[ccs29745]

Need a cuddler

Snow this evening and suggested to wife we cuddle tonight. Not sure I ever been told nope so fast before. So much for let it snow let it snow let it go. Lol

 

[AnnieLit]

Snow this evening and suggested to wife we cuddle tonight. Not sure I ever been told nope so fast before. So much for let it snow let it snow let it go. Lol

Hug!

 

[The_gladiator]

Is there something that you always wanted to learn, but never had time for it? Painting, woodworking, photography, cooking, car repair, it can be anything at all. You might want to look into what classes are available in your area -- this will get you out of the house on the regular basis and keep your head occupied with something you enjoy.

Another option is looking into volunteering. Little league, animal shelter, etc. Again, anything that will have a fixed schedule and deals with something you like.

About that depression... Maybe a trip to see a doctor? Better a pill now, than much bigger problems later.

have sort of made cooking my probject, as you know, I need to eat and pizza gets old.
as to the doctors well. I already deal with depression regularly just trying not to go back into the pit I was in a month ago. unfortunately, meds don’t help. I am in therapy regularly, though.

 

[philos]

The gym has been my main coping mechanism. You’d think I would be more fit by now but I guess food is my other less healthy coping mechanism.

 

[ccs29745]

Hug!

Thanks beautiful

 

[AnnieLit]

The gym has been my main coping mechanism. You’d think I would be more fit by now but I guess food is my other less healthy coping mechanism.

+1
You are more fit! Think about what would happen if you ate the same way and did not go to the gym. I am sure you are in a much better shape that the guy you would have been then.

 

[impulsively]

Life without Sex

Well I finally stumbled on to this thread and browsed through it enough to see it reads like the last six or so years of my marriage. I decided when it started I could not bring myself to cheat on my wife and risk loosing her so that left abstinence as my only alternative, not a exciting prospect. I was kind of hopping to find some secrets that my fellow Liters had discovered to help fix the problem but alas there seems to be more of us aboard this sinking ship. I will pose one question to those of you who have been going through it longer, does the drive ever diminish? I for one have found my drive actually increasing over time.

 

[ccs29745]

Well I finally stumbled on to this thread and browsed through it enough to see it reads like the last six or so years of my marriage. I decided when it started I could not bring myself to cheat on my wife and risk loosing her so that left abstinence as my only alternative, not a exciting prospect. I was kind of hopping to find some secrets that my fellow Liters had discovered to help fix the problem but alas there seems to be more of us aboard this sinking ship. I will pose one question to those of you who have been going through it longer, does the drive ever diminish? I for one have found my drive actually increasing over time.

My drive seems to go up every few days. When I've had a chance to rest some, I seem to want sex more. After a few days of balls to wall work load, I don't want it as much.

 

[BooksNBrawn]

Well I finally stumbled on to this thread and browsed through it enough to see it reads like the last six or so years of my marriage. I decided when it started I could not bring myself to cheat on my wife and risk loosing her so that left abstinence as my only alternative, not a exciting prospect. I was kind of hopping to find some secrets that my fellow Liters had discovered to help fix the problem but alas there seems to be more of us aboard this sinking ship. I will pose one question to those of you who have been going through it longer, does the drive ever diminish? I for one have found my drive actually increasing over time.

I think the drive is cyclical... I've poured myself into working out hard and dieting. These are two areas I can control directly and I find that as I gain control in one area, other areas are easier to conquer. I've gained most of my old size back and lost 60lb, that feels really good. Having ladies at the gym smile and talk to be also feels good.

 

[Polranny]

Well I finally stumbled on to this thread and browsed through it enough to see it reads like the last six or so years of my marriage. I decided when it started I could not bring myself to cheat on my wife and risk loosing her so that left abstinence as my only alternative, not a exciting prospect. I was kind of hopping to find some secrets that my fellow Liters had discovered to help fix the problem but alas there seems to be more of us aboard this sinking ship. I will pose one question to those of you who have been going through it longer, does the drive ever diminish? I for one have found my drive actually increasing over time.

I drifted in the real world just once and felt guilty afterwards. It was the subterfuge rather than the act itself that got to me. Just found out that she is still in touch with her first love so I wonder if she may have played away at some stage. Life's too short now to make It an issue. I keep sane through Lit

 

[impulsively]

I think the drive is cyclical... I've poured myself into working out hard and dieting. These are two areas I can control directly and I find that as I gain control in one area, other areas are easier to conquer. I've gained most of my old size back and lost 60lb, that feels really good. Having ladies at the gym smile and talk to be also feels good.

I am really glad you have gotten a handle on this issue. I wish I could say it makes me feel great when I get a positive reaction from a woman but unfortunately for me it just drives me crazy, the temptation to do the wrong thing often feels like a wild animal trying to get out at these times. Often my first response is why doesn't my wife see what these woman see than my second is far to often what am I doing wrong.

 

[skitzoid]

I've read enuff to realize that I am not in a sinking boat alone, not that it helps. I'm 68 and still have some get up and go. She's 59 and is shot in the a__. We have been married for 20 years, my second, her 3rd. ( my first wife died ) Sex was great in the beginning, then slowly got into a routine. This was Ok with me, and I believe her also. Now for the past 5 or 6 years, it's getting less and less. We are down to a BJ every 4 to 6 weeks. But, I can't go down on her, strange. I got ED but can overcome it with a combination of pills. This doesn't mater to her, she doesn't want it. I do still love her and think she's sexy. ( not an average 59 yo ) and I tell her so. She only wants sex in one way and one position, no experimentation. This is a major bummer. We have tried diff approaches before but just for a short while. Always back to the old way. Now, not even that. We did go to a nudist campgrounds, that's out the window. I almost think she has someone on the side. I can't comment on her sex drive, I haven't seen it. I still wanna fool around in any way that will satisfy her, nope. She went thru menopause ( surgery ) about 15 years ago. We can rule that out. Any ideas, you can send me a direct mssg. My hand is cramping up from all the jacking.

 

[ccs29745]

I drifted in the real world just once and felt guilty afterwards. It was the subterfuge rather than the act itself that got to me. Just found out that she is still in touch with her first love so I wonder if she may have played away at some stage. Life's too short now to make It an issue. I keep sane through Lit

Sanity, think I left that somewhere in the sands of time. Lol

 

[Polranny]

Sanity, think I left that somewhere in the sands of time. Lol

Make it 'ye sands of time' and you certainly may have done
see what I did there)

 

[ccs29745]

Make it 'ye sands of time' and you certainly may have done
see what I did there)

Yep. Had wife in shower, alone, ready to have some fun, then she steps ot said she done. I turned water to cold and had another cold shower. Damn

 

[KeenVoyeur]

Agreed

I will pose one question to those of you who have been going through it longer, does the drive ever diminish? I for one have found my drive actually increasing over time.

My sex drive has never gone away, and the longer I go without, the worse it gets … I know the original "ban" was imposed for my indiscretions but given the opportunity I know I'm very likely to stray again!