Bad Random Life Tips.

[kurrginatorX]

It's perfectly okay to substitute Butt Rub for Sauce. Your partner will appreciate the new sensation with each grainy thrust.

 

[stickygirl]

No need to cook a whole turkey in one go: just cook it enough to eat the layer you need today and save the rest till later in the week. Frugal and economical

 

[kurrginatorX]

Become your own rock opera: Sing every conversation from here on out.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Got some barbecue sauce on your brand new shirt? Just dip the entire shirt in barbecue sauce so the stain evens out!

 

[bunny4med]

No need to cook a whole turkey in one go: just cook it enough to eat the layer you need today and save the rest till later in the week. Frugal and economical

You'll be inviting the Monella family over for dinner. Especially Sal.
The raised temperature of the rest of the bird will be a breeding ground for bacteria.

 

[kurrginatorX]

You'll be inviting the Monella family over for dinner. Especially Sal.
The raised temperature of the rest of the bird will be a breeding ground for bacteria.

^Thus the reason they are called BAD random life tips.^

Just took a laxative with a prune juice chaser? No worries. That blind date you're going on tonight will not be interrupted one bit.

 

[stickygirl]

Cats have natural fibres, so set the machine to delicates and 400rpm spin

 

[mnbreastluver]

Having sex with your girl but she’s bald from chemo so you can’t pull her hair? Attach a plunger to her chrome dome and plunge her to ecstasy.

 

[stickygirl]

Having sex with your girl but she’s bald from chemo so you can’t pull her hair? Attach a plunger to her chrome dome and plunge her to ecstasy.

You are a sick man I laughed a lot... meanwhile...

You can cure your autistic child with love and sodium chlorite - just mix in their Sunny Delight

 

[kurrginatorX]

Parents giving you a hard time because you're 35 and still haven't moved out? Put them in a nursing home. That'll teach 'em.

 

[sally_sparrow]

Life hack:
1. Drink 7 million 5-hour energy drinks.
2. Live forever.

 

[fisherfella]

Save time and drive away with snow on the windshield, its gonna melt anyway..

 

[Scareltt]

No kidding..

Save time and drive away with snow on the windshield, its gonna melt anyway..

On my way to the gym, I saw 5 or 6 cars on the highway. They had snow all over the windows and just a little scraped off patch on the drivers side. Very dangerous.

 

[MsLead]

Share nothing with anyone. Live on an island with a basketball.....

 

[stickygirl]

Share nothing with anyone. Live on an island with a basketball.....

I dunno, that sounds like good advice

Disgusted by your drain and restroom? Insist your family drink a tumbler of chlorox each day and stop smells in the house at source

 

[mnbreastluver]

Are you an American, lacking healthcare, and are in need of a colonoscopy but don't have the $2,750 needed for the procedure? Just strap a GoPro to your gay friend's dick and they'll get it as deep as you need it to go.

 

[DeckardNYC]

Fat, drunk and stupid is the ONLY way to go through life!

 

[BadAmy]

Every tool at home depot can be a sex toy.
Every tool....

https://media1.giphy.com/media/WryXZEbYQvaCHTTq54/giphy.gif?cid=19f5b51a2b33c3a0f0df33268917eac138638ca25f2c12db&rid=giphy.gif

 

[mnbreastluver]

When a cop pulls you over for a driving infraction, pick your nose. When he hands you the pen to sign the ticket, he'll probably tell you to keep the pen. Free pen.

 

[MsLead]

Share nothing with anyone. Live on an island with a basketball.....

I've just been informed Wilson was a volleyball on Tom Hanks island. Guess I don't know my balls!

 

[mnbreastluver]

Those glow in the dark condoms are still good and don’t let the expiration of 1997 deter you.

 

[MsLead]

That shrimp fettuccini at the company potluck that she made hours early and didnt refrigerate cuz she didnt want it to be cold...no worries. Go ahead and eat it.

True story...

 

[stickygirl]

A reused confectionery bag is perfect for picking up your dog's poo then left to hang on a playground tree.

 

[mnbreastluver]

Swallow a bag of unpopped popcorn kernels before you die. So that you can give a surprise snack for the crematorium workers.

 

[blade_rocknut]

Don't let them fool you...cats love baths and *want* to be in three tub with you. They're just being coy.