Litiquette VI

[Endless_Night]

Where are the questions?

It was implied there would be…questions.

*taps foot impatiently*

 

[Endless_Night]

All right. I'll ask my own. *kicks dirt*


Decisions. Life is full of 'em. Some easy, some nigh impossible.

If you were on the brink of a decision, one that would have long-lasting repercussions for the course of several years, how would you decide?

Two choices. No clear winner. Both mean significant change. Both have rather extreme pros and cons. Both deal in gain, but each result in a difficult loss.

Time is short.

(It wasn't, but *you* dithered. )


How do you go about making the occasional, seemingly impossible decision?

 

[Trekka]

I play it like who wants to be a millionaire.
I phone a friend.
I poll the audience.
Cut the choices down.

And then I do some *real* dorky stuff:
I say my prayers and wait for the answer to bubble to the top of the heap.
If nothing comes, I say my prayers and make a choice.
No looking back for confirmation that I made the right choice.
If it’s destined that the universe wants me to take path A, and I take path B, that will become clear in time and then I course correct.

Pretty glib sounding but it’s true.
All decisions are just choices.
Even the “bad” decisions are growth opportunities, sometimes more so than the “good” ones.

There’s no wrong answer

 

[Suz_anne]

I'm similar to Trekka but I don't poll an audience. I might talk to one or two people about it, but usually I'm just in my head trying to figure it out.

I tend to take a loooong time to make big decisions. But with little stuff, I can make very quick decisions and not dwell on it.

 

[hotwords229_A]

I will (and have) flip a coin. I usually already have an idea of which option I want, but I'll flip the coin to confirm it. If it doesn't go my way I flip it again until it does. If it continually comes up tails, I may postpone things a day or hour (depending on my timeline).

Weird caveat, I will only flip a quarter that has "normal tails" none of that state shit. I only trust the eagle!

 

[parker77]

for decisions that are that close, where further analysis would yield no clear decision, i go by instinct, feel, or what you might even call, “heart.” truly, i just trust my heart, make the decision, then never look back. in my life, i’ve faced several such decisions. i have no idea if i’ve made the right decision, but i will say this - i’m thankful for who i am and where i am in my life. what a long strange trip it’s been.

 

[numeniusa]

I've had only a few big decisions to make in my life so far, but in each case my choice was clear, it just sort of felt right, like parker said. I tend to spend a good bit of time thinking things through, working out a plan B, plan C, plan D (yes, I know ) which I think is mainly about building a foundation of comfort for a decision - 'what am I going to do if it goes wrong?'. So far, so good, though

 

[blade_rocknut]

Not sure how we got onto this topic, but whatevs.

I try to play out the likely outcomes of each choice, particularly from the con/ worst case scenario angle. Often, it's not the direct result of our choices we come to regret; it's the unintended consequences. I'm pretty slow and calculated in making major, life changing decisions, but not wishy washy.

Only once have I ever consulted a friend. The result didn't change my preconceived solution, it solidified my decision. It did pretty well bond us together though. I was struggling with how to handle the death of my marriage; he with his logical conflicts with his religion.
We both found peace. Each of us already knew the logical outcomes of our respective conundrums, but it did help for each to have someone we trusted more than our own bias to mediate our emotions.

 

[Apisto42]

If it’s destined that the universe wants me to take path A, and I take path B, that will become clear in time and then I course correct.

There’s no wrong answer

Truth.

I don’t dwell on choices. It’s usually pretty quick and I know what I’m going to do. I might delay it a while (if given the choice), but I know the answer. The harder part is deciding how soon to do it. My preference is for sooner rather than later.

It’ll all work out. Or you’re dead. So win win either way?

 

[Endless_Night]

< I tend to take a loooong time to make big decisions. >

Me.

< I tend to spend a good bit of time thinking things through, working out a plan B, plan C, plan D (yes, I know ) which I think is mainly about building a foundation of comfort for a decision - 'what am I going to do if it goes wrong?'. >

Numi. Five year plan for all conceivable options?

I always suspected we were sisters across the pond.

 

[Richard_C]

I usually apply the wag method. * nods *

 

[TTawhere]

I usually apply the wag method. * nods *

Some days it is the swag method.

 

[Endless_Night]

< Weird caveat, I will only flip a quarter that has "normal tails" none of that state shit. I only trust the eagle!

THIS TICKLED ME NO END.

< I don’t dwell on choices. >

………….

I am not entirely sure I like you.

Not sure how we got onto this topic, but whatevs.

I try to play out the likely outcomes of each choice, particularly from the con/ worst case scenario angle. Often, it's not the direct result of our choices we come to regret; it's the unintended consequences. I'm pretty slow and calculated in making major, life changing decisions, but not wishy washy.

Only once have I ever consulted a friend. The result didn't change my preconceived solution, it solidified my decision. It did pretty well bond us together though. I was struggling with how to handle the death of my marriage; he with his logical conflicts with his religion.
We both found peace. Each of us already knew the logical outcomes of our respective conundrums, but it did help for each to have someone we trusted more than our own bias to mediate our emotions.

Someone might be in the middle of a difficult decision.

I do occasionally try to talk it out when faced with something epic. The result is solidification rather than a shift of view. Never makes me feel better, though. It's a rare occurrence when the talkee agrees with the choice I feel I *should* make.

I have never been entirely sure what that says about my mental processes….

 

[Endless_Night]

I usually apply the wag method. * nods *

Some days it is the swag method.

Errr….do I want to know what you two are talking about?

 

[TTawhere]

Errr….do I want to know what you two are talking about?

Well, there is the WAG method - Wild Ass Guess. Then there is the SWAG method. Seriously Wild Ass Guess.

We won't talk about the RP method...

 

[Endless_Night]

Well, there is the WAG method - Wild Ass Guess. Then there is the SWAG method. Seriously Wild Ass Guess.

We won't talk about the RP method...

Hahahahahaha!

Okay. I am going to trust to your judgement on skipping that last one.

 

[Endless_Night]

< No looking back for confirmation that I made the right choice. >

< make the decision, then never look back.

HOW DO YOU DO THIS?

Seriously. Both your answers echo my process, but I get stuck in an endless loop of dither.


Welp. This has been helpful, folks. I am going to suck it up and just do what I think is the overall right choice for the most people. Like I was probably going to do all along.

Maybe the lesson here is that I should work on being gracious. You know, suck it up and just do what I need to do without the whine.

I can do this!

Graciously.



(I think I might be in some trouble here. )

 

[Endless_Night]

< I don't see big decisions as "right or wrong", but rather "choose your own adventure". >

I LOVE that you said that!

I was JUST talking to a friend and we decided the best way to approach this situation was to view it as an adventure.

Five years.

I am going to kick butt.

 

[Trekka]

HOW DO YOU DO THIS?
Seriously. Both your answers echo my process, but I get stuck in an endless loop of dither.

Yo Parker, we said something similar! I think we should high-five. This seems like progress.

Enny, I do a *lot* of work (and by work I mean Valium) to stay out of the obsessive thought loop.

I don't see big decisions as "right or wrong", but rather "choose your own adventure".

This exactly!

 

[parker77]

Yo Parker, we said something similar! I think we should high-five. This seems like progress.

extraordinary! what are the odds?

somehow, i feel a fist bump would be more apropos.

 

[Trekka]

extraordinary! what are the odds?

somehow, i feel a fist bump would be more apropos.

i know right?
this has been therapeutic.

 

[aussiegeekygal]

I just do it.
I hardly get into my head about something. I guess that's the scientist in me. I perform a quick round of statistical analysis and make a choice. Interestingly enough, it's the decisions where I go against the rational data and go with my heart/gut/emotions are some of my fondest leaps of faith I've taken.
I also never look back.
Ever.
I'm not a romantic/reminiscent person.
I didn't know this about myself until this exact moment and as I type it out, I can see how this could sound cold and removed from people emotionally. It's actually because I'm so in the moment that the agony of option B is no longer a part of my existence

 

[parker77]

i know right?
this has been therapeutic.

i’ll sleep more peacefully tonight.

 

[ChainedUp]

Nothing beats a Sunday morning question. Well, okay, technically speaking a lot beats it but for the sake of this thread, I’ve always enjoyed the Sunday question. Don’t ask me why.....

This is a two part, inverse relationship type question. Read through, it’s not nearly as confusing as I make it out to be.

Guys - what percent of the blind PMs that you send, do you get a response to? Are you happy with that response rate? Are you one to carpet bomb all active women with the same basic message or are you selective and try to find the perfect hook?

Ladies - what percent of blind PMs do you respond to? Are you nice and respond to everyone or would you rather delete/ignore/move-on with most of them. I won’t ask you what you like in a PM, as that’s just priming the pump for the guys. Sorry guys, you’ll have to figure it out on your own.

 

[Sundayschild]

I get responses pretty much all of the time. But I don't tend to send anything demanding, and usually (not exclusively) based on a board interaction. Carpet bombing isn't my thing.

I do get a surprising amount of bewb responses - not complaining