Sex is sacred?

[Jada59]

This kind of blew me away and I'd like people's thoughts on this.

I posted this question here and elsewhere. It's the elsewhere that I got the "sex is sacred" response.

My question was about how/when to tell people I might date that I write erotica. I currently have several local people of interest. I only told one so far. He's a bit of a celebrity himself. His response when I told him was, "I think that's awesome!" So no worries there.

But some time back, I met a Lit guy who I had assumed had read my work. Turned out he had not read my work until after we met. I could tell right away in talking to him that I was just plain too much for him. Very nice guy, good sense of humor, just perhaps more on the bland side than I am.

My point being, I want to own who I am but... I also don't want to shock people either. So I don't want to bring up the subject of my erotic writing too soon or too late because some people are just not okay with it! I'm fine with that but those people would not be guys I want to date.

Anyhoo... This woman told me that sex was sacred and I should treat it as such. Also told me that my erotic writing should be considered sacred and I should not be sharing it with others. I think we all know here, that's not going to happen. Speaking of which, I should work on a new story. But...

Does anyone here think sex is sacred? If so, why? I can think of a lot of wonderful things that sex is, but sacred isn't one of them. She also told me to look up Tantric sex. No need to as I know what it is. To me, that's more a meeting of the soul as well as the body of the other person. Very deep, very emotional, very fulfilling, but still not sacred.

 

[htester]

I think sex is totally sacred. It's definitely something special that should be respected. Whether you engage in it with multiple people or 'o solo mio,' it is something we shouldn't take for granted. Sex is powerful because it involves our bodies and our minds (no matter how hard we try to divorce them). It's the go to, the world over, to denigrate someone and their choices. Sexual Assault victims decades later still experience PTSD. So, sex the word, and the act, are super powerful.

Shifting over to consensual sex, sex can still screw you over. It's not easy to find partners you connect with. It's not easy to find partners that respect you. So, I always tell people to take care with their feelings but have fun regardless.

So, yes, sex is something special and awesome. If you share it with others through writing or other-wise, so much the better.

 

[FL30]

I think it is what you make it.

I know some people that think sex is just sex, others that won't have it outside of a committed relationship.

 

[Jada59]

I think sex is totally sacred. It's definitely something special that should be respected. Whether you engage in it with multiple people or 'o solo mio,' it is something we shouldn't take for granted. Sex is powerful because it involves our bodies and our minds (no matter how hard we try to divorce them). It's the go to, the world over, to denigrate someone and their choices. Sexual Assault victims decades later still experience PTSD. So, sex the word, and the act, are super powerful.

Shifting over to consensual sex, sex can still screw you over. It's not easy to find partners you connect with. It's not easy to find partners that respect you. So, I always tell people to take care with their feelings but have fun regardless.

So, yes, sex is something special and awesome. If you share it with others through writing or other-wise, so much the better.

Special and awesome, yes. But to me, sacred seems religious.

 

[Jada59]

I think it is what you make it.

I know some people that think sex is just sex, others that won't have it outside of a committed relationship.

True. I don't need a committed relationship for sex, but I do need some sort of connection. I won't/can't have sex with just anyone.

 

[Asian_Flower]

I don't think too much about it. I just do it instead!

 

[jaF0]

I think it's a bit creepy and a lot disgusting. Besides, I prefer to keep people at double arms length, at a minimum. Twenty foot buffer zone is good.

 

[MKvDeepSea]

This kind of blew me away and I'd like people's thoughts on this.

I posted this question here and elsewhere. It's the elsewhere that I got the "sex is sacred" response.

My question was about how/when to tell people I might date that I write erotica. I currently have several local people of interest. I only told one so far. He's a bit of a celebrity himself. His response when I told him was, "I think that's awesome!" So no worries there.

But some time back, I met a Lit guy who I had assumed had read my work. Turned out he had not read my work until after we met. I could tell right away in talking to him that I was just plain too much for him. Very nice guy, good sense of humor, just perhaps more on the bland side than I am.

My point being, I want to own who I am but... I also don't want to shock people either. So I don't want to bring up the subject of my erotic writing too soon or too late because some people are just not okay with it! I'm fine with that but those people would not be guys I want to date.

Anyhoo... This woman told me that sex was sacred and I should treat it as such. Also told me that my erotic writing should be considered sacred and I should not be sharing it with others. I think we all know here, that's not going to happen. Speaking of which, I should work on a new story. But...

Does anyone here think sex is sacred? If so, why? I can think of a lot of wonderful things that sex is, but sacred isn't one of them. She also told me to look up Tantric sex. No need to as I know what it is. To me, that's more a meeting of the soul as well as the body of the other person. Very deep, very emotional, very fulfilling, but still not sacred.

Hey Jada59,

My thought would be; it depends on who you're talking to and the context of the conversation. I live in a bastion of southern christian conservatism and just talking about sex will often trigger a godly sermon on the marriage of one man and one woman blah, blah, blah ad nauseum and sex is never, ever openly discussed. What is surprising are there are quite a few of these folks involved in swinging on hush-hush.

And, there are a few who practice some of the older Pagan religions where nudity and sex are part of their rituals. I have found these folks to be freer and far more open about nudity, sex and sexuality but hold it almost sacred depending on the depth of their belief.

Hell, I reckon to be safe someone needs to follow the thirty second rule of conversations.

 

[SunnyC]

...

Does anyone here think sex is sacred? If so, why? I can think of a lot of wonderful things that sex is, but sacred isn't one of them. She also told me to look up Tantric sex. No need to as I know what it is. To me, that's more a meeting of the soul as well as the body of the other person. Very deep, very emotional, very fulfilling, but still not sacred.

Holy Fuck! Of course sex is sacred!

Kidding aside, the term 'sacred' is undergoing a transition. As people turn away from organized religion (thank christ) to nourish their spirituality the idea of 'sacred' gets less dogmatic and returns to something closer to what its etymology suggests: something pure and dedicated to a higher purpose. That doesn't have to be Tantric sex on a bed of rose petals, people sometimes say they find a cleansing release and emotional absolution in the most brutal sexual encounters.

But, as people fall away from their religious flocks, the ones who remain tend to be the distilled hardcore believers, for whom sacred=scriptural!

That's a lot to parse on a first date. Hopefully reasonable folks will come up with a better term for the magic to avoid all the confusion.

 

[CandK_inSE]

Sex "sacred"? Wrong word. If it were sacred, we'd all be one man/one woman, with that partner only after marriage. Does that work for some people? Absolutely. More power to them.

I believe that sex is a gift. I don't believe it's something that should be taken lightly. My wife and me are committed 100% to each other and have no desires for anything outside. I do have a fantasy of her being with another woman, but that is purely in the realm of fantasy and will never happen for multiple reasons. We'll share things we do and have done, mainly because she's going through the roof hormonally and I experienced ED for a few years due to a medical problem that's been rectified, and she'll do almost anything with me to ensure I can remain sexually "good".

Both of us feel the same way, we did have sex outside of a relationship before we were married, but in both cases, there was no real emotional connection to the other person, and we both have some regrets over those partners.

Hers was her first. She needed to get laid. Ended up going on a date with a guy who turned out to be a total jerk and was not well-endowed. He treated her like a piece of meat and couldn't even pleasure her in the slightest. It was a terrible experience for her and pisses me off as her husband that she had such an awful time when she first gave herself to someone.

I was used for sex by a relatively attractive girl right around the time I started talking to the girl who would become my wife. The ONLY connection I had with this girl was that she was physically attractive. We had a date, and she basically jumped me. I wasn't going to say no. Honestly, the sex wasn't bad. She was good in bed, other than she didn't kiss after I went down on her. Which is another sign she had no feelings for me, just needed cock. Anyway, called her twice after that night...she never returned a call or an email. I felt used. Right after that is when my wife and me went on a date, and happily ever after.

Now, when I was at my worst, ED wise, a few years ago after a failed attempt at intercourse, through tears, I said to my wife, "if you absolutely need to have actual sex, I cannot stop you, just let me know." She said back through her own tears that she could not and would not do that and would do everything she could to get me back to where I should be. A month after that is when the kidney stone appeared and the kidney infection that caused the ED was discovered. Coincidence? Or is there something out there? We both lean toward the latter.

 

[ChrissyCD64]

This kind of blew me away and I'd like people's thoughts on this.

I posted this question here and elsewhere. It's the elsewhere that I got the "sex is sacred" response.

My question was about how/when to tell people I might date that I write erotica. I currently have several local people of interest. I only told one so far. He's a bit of a celebrity himself. His response when I told him was, "I think that's awesome!" So no worries there.

But some time back, I met a Lit guy who I had assumed had read my work. Turned out he had not read my work until after we met. I could tell right away in talking to him that I was just plain too much for him. Very nice guy, good sense of humor, just perhaps more on the bland side than I am.

My point being, I want to own who I am but... I also don't want to shock people either. So I don't want to bring up the subject of my erotic writing too soon or too late because some people are just not okay with it! I'm fine with that but those people would not be guys I want to date.

Anyhoo... This woman told me that sex was sacred and I should treat it as such. Also told me that my erotic writing should be considered sacred and I should not be sharing it with others. I think we all know here, that's not going to happen. Speaking of which, I should work on a new story. But...

Does anyone here think sex is sacred? If so, why? I can think of a lot of wonderful things that sex is, but sacred isn't one of them. She also told me to look up Tantric sex. No need to as I know what it is. To me, that's more a meeting of the soul as well as the body of the other person. Very deep, very emotional, very fulfilling, but still not sacred.

Not at our house it isn't. Sex is just good, clean fun with anyone and everyone you can enjoy it with.

 

[trevorness]

Special and awesome, yes. But to me, sacred seems religious.

I think that is the issue here is people's terms. I can see why calling sex sacred would seem dubious if sacred = religion.

I have come to think of sacred or transcendent experiences as this key human experience that takes you beyond the everyday. Things like nature, sex and moments of mind expansion.

And then religion is people who want to control that experience. For them going beyond the everyday is threatening to the social order. So you have people who maybe have never even had a really transcendent experience (or sex) trying to explain it to you, telling about their friend, or this guy they read about, who had this experience.

Religion is about controlling, sacred is about freedom. Look at how much religion tries to control sex and sexuality.

(sorry this is something I think about )

 

[TANSTAAFL58]

Sacred? Sure. I suppose. I mean, who hasn't yelled "Oh God" at the point of orgasm at least once?

But, also: intimate (of course), often hilarious, touching, life-affirming, physically draining, emotionally fulfilling and best shared. I would happily read any erotic writing from a woman I was getting to know. I suspect that it is a look inside the writer at their deepest desires (that's the way I write).

Share away Jada.

 

[Tribe77]

I think sex is totally sacred. It's definitely something special that should be respected. Whether you engage in it with multiple people or 'o solo mio,' it is something we shouldn't take for granted. Sex is powerful because it involves our bodies and our minds (no matter how hard we try to divorce them). It's the go to, the world over, to denigrate someone and their choices. Sexual Assault victims decades later still experience PTSD. So, sex the word, and the act, are super powerful.

Shifting over to consensual sex, sex can still screw you over. It's not easy to find partners you connect with. It's not easy to find partners that respect you. So, I always tell people to take care with their feelings but have fun regardless.

So, yes, sex is something special and awesome. If you share it with others through writing or other-wise, so much the better.

Well said, I only share sex with my wife. She is my one and only. Fooled around in college, but I do regret not having multiple sex partners. I think I looked at sex as being too sacred and should have had more fun. Especially now being 40 and my wife's sex drive all but gone. Haha. But those are the breaks. Only one to blame is myself.